CHAPTER 1

Simply us

A FEW WEEKS LATER

- Frankley, Worcestershire

DANIELLE

“Flea” my brother Jackson whispers in my ear. The head is weighted for the consecutive sleepless nights, “wake up”.

I have been awake for twelve days and twelve nights, to be exact. Basically, from the moment I returned to Oxford where I was until now. But, he doesn't know this.

“You under the weather. Even if you have slept, you seem sleepless for centuries”.

He rubs his hand on my thigh in an effort to comfort me. I'm afraid, but he doesn't know it.

Today, it is a special day for us. The one of the move.

He smiles at me as soon as I stop to look out into the air and I look at his forehead. He thinks that I'm looking into his eyes. But, it isn't. I close again my eyes, make him think that I need another five minutes of rest.

I should be a little girl, sunny-natured enough, so I believe I was once. I don't know, it is a feeling. Now, I am a burden.

“Where are your beautiful and sky-blue eyes? Can I see them? Can they look at me?”

Tired, I open my eyes. To satisfy him, and so he'd leave me alone. I move, clumsy, on the bed. Some bones are visible above and beyond. Some bones stick out a bit too much, and it seems that they aren’t covered. Like me, I'm nothing. I don't remember what I was. Or nearly.

He lifts me, he helps me to sit, and he put his hands on my face, framing it.

“Today, we start a new life, do you want? Today, I would like that you could put all behind you and you start all over again. There isn't a better way to start again as a move. Do you promise?” I can't say to have nodded or to have mumbled as approval, but maybe the sigh was enough for him. He says it since I came back home from the hospital. It's easy for him. He hasn't lost the memory, and he isn't afraid to sleep for fear of the nightmares.

I don’t move back and I don’t look while he removes the pyjamas, and he starts to change my bandages touching the white skin of the arms that now it is very sensible. I don’t know what there is under these bandages and I don’t want to know it. He puts on his sweatshirt of the school and the shorts. “I have packed all.” He laces me up the usual white sneakers of Adidas, and he rubs his hands on my calf. He raises his head, and he looks at my face. He stands up, and he puts his hands on my long brown hair, tying them up in an irritable thing, being careful to include the locks attached to the face. I hate the hair up. “I hope that you like as I prepared you” he smiles.

More I'm covered and it's better. With a perpetual smile on his lips, he helps me to stand up, and he takes me out of the room of this flat, now too little for four people. I don't even remember these walls. I don’t even remember if there is another room behind that door or if it is a wardrobe.

“Here are the cereals, hurry up. We are late thanks to you.” my mother says good morning to me, as usual.

Well, I believe that's her.

“Did you get all? It's no that we must go back to search your things?” Mark asks not gently.

My other brother. I know it because he is identical to Jackson or Jay as I call him. I believe that they are twin, and as I understand, they are approximately 20 years old. I believe it, I'm not sure.

“Shut up, we have gotten all” Jackson reprimands him with an irritated voice.

He packed all for me.

They are both fair-haired and with blue eyes with some green colour. Tall and toned. Both full of girls which go mad for them. It is what I remember, at least.

“I didn't ask you. She has a tongue, and she learned to speak for years. You aren't her lawyer.”

I think that he does it only to provoke my reaction. I doubt that he will obtain it.

“Stop bothering her!” Jay is exasperated while he holds the spoon in mid-air in the effort to make me eat.

I don't want. I haven't eaten for a few days, I don't remember how long.

“Shut up both. And start to put the things into the car. The rest will be on the truck. If it will not remain here.” Annie continues to pack the things while she speaks.

“I have just put my things into the car. I don't take her things.” Mark puffs, pointing the finger towards me.

“Jay, stop acting like that! Before we put into the car, and before we will be on the way.” my mother complains, pointing a candle towards him. Mark puffs and he rolls his eyes.

Annie, alias my mother, has difficulty to recognize them, several times she called one with the name of the other one. They are completely identical for her, without differences, for her, it’s only important to keep up with her boyfriend, instead to dedicate the time to her sons. Especially this night when I heard them quarrelling about what to do with me and about who will take care of me. I remember that Mark mentioned the college.

“I'm Mark. Jackson is the twerp there.” he indicates with scorn the brother.

Jay was able to make me eat a couple of scoops of these coloured cereals, at least. They have a disgusting taste with the milk. They taste of cardboard.

“You are always complaining, I don't think that we ask you to do absurd things” Jay springs, bringing the cup and taking it to the sink. With few but clean movements, he rinses it and put it away in the box.

“Yes, I am complaining because I don't want to be compared to you, considering that you are throwing away to keep up with her, you don’t even register to the college”.

“It isn't your business what I do, understand? She is our sister, and she needs us, and I don’t understand why you behave like that. You could make a good impression if you stayed at the campus for the holidays instead to come and to pretend to help us”.

I don't want that they quarrel. It isn't nice when they do it. It isn't nice when they don't talk after a quarrel, and only yesterday, they did it a million times.

“She is able to look after herself, and to be honest, I’m the one that doesn’t understand why she behaves like that. What does she think to obtain? But, then, why am I still speaking with you?” Mark snorts.

Mark cuts his brother a little slack which is more intent to follow me instead of continuing the usual squabble.

“Do you want to say goodbye to Anna? She should be home.” My big brother is very devoted.

The only positive thing about this district is the neighbours, Mr. and Mrs. Lenard, two old people, very lively and modern, in their 70s, which were like the grandparents for us, ensuring for our survival on several occasions. How can I forget this courtesy?

“They went to the mall. They won't be back until lunch. But, we will be long gone from here.” Annie says.

“What? Did you say that we are leaving, I hope? Have you given to them the new address?” Jackson tells her off.

“Did you remember that we planned to escape without their knowledge? It's part of the witness protection program in which we are because of her.” Mark intervenes which wins a dirty look from Jackson.

Mark likes to try the patience of his brother.

“Don't listen to him. You know that we are moving for the work of our mother.”

Apparently, Annie has received a letter of engagement for a vacant post as a nurse at the Queen Elizabeth Medical Center in Birmingham, and she was politely begged to go on duty asap in that structure. “And because my new school is too far for you”.

Of course, the old high school of my brothers has strangely accepted my request for inclusion that I have never filled out and sent, also if Jay maintains the opposite. How can I believe that a famous school lower to consider the application of a sixteen-year-old which until the other day attended another type of studies.

“You will see that you will be fine in my old school. You will be able to make new friends. Look at this as a new beginning.” In fact, Jackson considers all as an act of faith. He repeats that it is a positive spin for me. He repeated for the entire morning that it is a beautiful thing. Maybe so, but I'm not ready to return to the school, also if the school is another, nothing changes for me if I can’t remember who I was, I don’t even know if I am able to write or read.

“Sure! Everyone wants to be one of her friends. They will fight to sit near her in the canteen. They will quarrel to speak with her and maybe, to go to the prom with her. Like she's the most popular girl in the universe.” Mark moans.

He shakes his head as if he wants to overcome the idea a social me. He has always spoken of this 'opportunity' in a more worrying and strange way. He says that we are a family included in the protection program since I was born because our father John is a true member of the Mafia, leader of a very influential clan, and for this reason, he has a lot of enemies all around the world. This is the reason why I was in the hospital. He says that I stamped the feet of someone of them.

He also maintains that Vincent, the eternal boyfriend of our mother, is a secret agent dressed as a policeman hired by John in order to watch over us, for our protection. Basically, we have been discovered because of my ‘stunts’.

What have I done? I don't remember anything. He adds also that from now I must forget my true name andmy new name is Kelly Mand. When he talks nonsense, Jay flies into a rage.

“Let's go.” he puts his strong hands on my shoulders, gripping them slowly.

Resigned, he helps me to stand up from this chair, and he drags me out of the flat. “We sit in the back, okay?” he whispers, putting his arm on my shoulders.

I get into the car without problems. Jay will be always with me, to protect me and this cheers me up.

From now, it will be all new, new house, new school, new friends, but new neighbours above all. Will I have to explain all to everyone or will I start all over again and nothing else? Will I miss the Lenards?

“What's going on?” Jackson sweetly whispers, drawing my attention. “Do you have other memories?” I look at him, dazed.

Memories? Oh, certainly no. His forehead is corrugated and it doesn't exactly mesh with him. I close my eyes and, when I open them, I look at him. For the first time in months, I look at him and I smile at him. They shake the head before to look away and to see the houses which run. I don't remember anything for him. For him, my mind has cancelled every memory to get me to react. The best thing for him is to believe that I don't remember anything, I can’t tell him the true about the flashback and about the nightmares, which persecute me.

“Are you sure? You seem too thoughtful” he whispers again.

This time, he puts his hand on my knee, and he grips it. A shiver, the first, goes down my back. I half-closed my eyes and I nod again.

“Leave her alone. She lives in her own world of which we don't belong to.” Mark sniggers while he is sitting in the driver's seat.

I see his disgusted look while he looks at me from the rear-view mirror. Mum is before me.

“I'm not speaking with you, so please don't open your big mouth.”

This is what I was able to create. Or to destroy. Mark and Jackson always quarrel because of me.