Chapter 3 - The Pain Of Being Ignored

"Today's our salaray day! What do you guys want to do?" asked Jelle who's counting her money inside the envelope.

Kinnie and Windy made suggestions while Shanne remained silent. They were used to have a best friend's bonding every salary day but her situation right now isn't same as usual. She has problems to face and enjoying life is just a waste of time.

"You guys can go without me. You know... I have to save money for my.. pregnancy." She let out a deep sigh while staring at her salary.

Before, the money that she earn will be enough for her living and she could even sent the half of it to her family. But after that night, when a stranger stole her most treasured thing, her life became worse. She lost her family... and also her dignity.

"Does it mean you didn't think of aborting the child? You want to keep it now?" Kinnie asked reluctantly.

She shrugged off her shoulders."At first, that was the only thing that crossed my mind. Who would like to keep a baby that wasn't planned to be made?! It was just a pure mistake!"

"Don't say that, Shanne. Your baby's listening to you. It may be unexpected but the child is not guilty," Windy console her.

She immediately wiped the tears that fell down to her cheeks. They were right but also wrong at the same time. Maybe it's easy for them to say because they weren't the one who's carrying the child. It's not that east to move yourself with an innocent child on your tummy.

"What if you'll talk to your parents again? Maybe they were just shocked so they didn't hesitate to throw you away. It was unexpected," Jelle suggested.

She smiled bitterly."No matter how unexpected it is, they shouldn't have thrown me away like a trash and not ask me to abort the child. How ruthless do they think of me?"

She told herself not to go but ended up standing in front of the gate of their house. No matter how nervous she was, there's no point of escaping now that she's there. Right after she pressed the doorbell, the door from their house opened and her mother came out.

The willingness of seeing her parents consumed her and tightened the hold of the gate's bar. She couldn't help but so smile when her mother opened the gate for her. The thought of being accepted in their home again suddenly faded when her mother grabbed her hand outside the gate.

What's wrong? Is she still mad at her?

"You still have the guts to come here after giving us bad news, huh?! How dare you!" Her mother slapped her right to her face.

Pain throbbed on her chest after hearing those hurtful words coming from her mother. She knew it. They would never forgive her from what she did.

She tried her best not to cry."M-Mom... Can you at least forgive my child? T-This... did nothing wrong."

She started crying in front of her. If she wants her to kneel down and beg, she's willing to do it just for the forgiveness she's asking for.

"Do you think I will do that, Shanne? From the day that you choose to leave and let that child live, we already forget you as our daughter. So don't ever come here again!" Her mother tried to push her away so she couldn't do anything but to step back.

In her entire life, she was never been hurt by her mother like that. She always felt loved like a precious gem that cost a life. But with just one mistake... a mistake that cannot be fixed... made her life in a mess.

"Of all my life, I've never been a burden to you. All I want is your care and support. I-I dont want to... kill someone.. especially an innocent one who doesn't even know what's happening outside the world." Shanne managed to be strong even if she's been tearing apart inside.

"Then so be it. Have the child and never show yourself in front of me.. and to your dad."

Those words broke her heart but her tears won't do anything. It won't fix her problem nor heal the wound in her heart. It's just sad because her child haven't seen the world but her parents already wanted to kill it.

How about it's dad? Would he also ask her to abort the baby? His child? She bet yes. Her parents even asked her to do that even if they were blood related. How much more the father of her child that she doesn't even know who?

"Hold on to mommy, baby. We only have each other so be strong.. for us."

She went back to Jelle's condominium... their temporary quarter. Crying a lot isn't good for her health because it may affect the baby so she tried to light up the mood. Watching TV shows and news about Zayle feels her heart warm. This has been her happy pill whenever she's upset.

"When are you going to take a check-up? I'm free whenever it is," Jelle said while chewing a popcorn.

She felt so hungry and was drooling over that food so she immediately steal it away from her. Jelle was fuming mad because she bought it for herself but after seeing her friend tearing up, she didn't hesitate to give up. Shanne happily eat the whole cup of popcorn and gave it back to her when it's already empty.

"I can't go now because I felt lazy. Maybe tomorrow. I will schedule a check-up for the baby." She yawned while watching cartoons.

Jelle winced at her."I think preggies were really that emotional. Gosh! Good thing I didn't plan to have a baby."

"Mine wasn't planned, Jelle." She corrected her friend.

When they finally entered the hospital, she felt like it's not a place for her. She was with Jelle that was supposed to be the father of her baby's place. It's not like Jelle was the father for goodness sake! Almost all of the patients have their husbands beside them while she... has no one to call like that.

She's not married, that's why.

"Who's the father of the baby?" Mrs. Revalde, the obstetrician asked her right after lying on the bed.

She hesitatingly looked at Jelle who couldn't even look at her. What is she going to say? That it was a stranger who impregnated her? That will make her look more stupid!

"Okay, I get it. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Let's start now."

Shanne just watched her actions while putting a gel on her belly. And after that, she saw something on the small TV screen. It was inside her tummy. That was her first time to see it.

"It's your baby. You can't see it more clearly because it's still a blood. Your tummy's getting four weeks, though," Mrs. Revalde explained.

"Omg! Your baby looks so cute even though it's still a blood. I wonder who's your baby look like," Jelle giggled.

She found herself smiling at the screen. Knowing that there's another life inside her, she has a strong feeling that it needs her care. She's a mother now... and she's also starting to accept that fact.

"Here is the vitamins that you have to take everyday. Always eat nutritious foods like fruits and vegetables. Avoid eating too much fatty foods and those rich in cholesterol. You have to keep the baby safe and healthy so might as well limit yourself on your works. Do you got it, mommy?" Mrs. Revalde reminded her.

Shanne happily nodded."Thank you, doc. I will come back to you the next week."

After their check-up, Jelle decided to treat her to the nearest Jale because it's already lunch time. Little did she knew, Zayle was also eating in that place with two business man. She somehow felt excited seeing him and even selected the table opposite to them just to watch his actions.

"There's no way he couldn't notice you, girl! In that kind of stares, wouldn't he be affected?" Jelle said sarcastically.

She just rolled her eyes."It's just a stare, sis. It's not even restricted at all. Besides, he doesn't care about the people around him. How much more to those who's just watching him from afar?"

"You're a flirt, Shanne. If I were you, I will just focus on the baby instead of those nonsense things. He will be turned off for sure."

That made her upset maybe because of her mood swings. She couldn't believe that her friend just say it right on her face. On the other hand, she think of it and realized that Jelle was right. It's all an illusion... ever since.

"You told me to talk to Drake. Why won't you do it by yourself? Are you still ashamed of that kiss you gave him on your birthday?" Shanne scoffed.

Her friend made a face on her."Shut up! Just do what I've said or else you'll not going to have my house in Camarines. It's for free."

"Free? I thought you're gonna let me pay for all the expenses after I gave birth and get back to work." She raised her brow.

"Argh! Don't pay for it but do that favor for me!"

She's not really sure of it, though.