chapter 2

I laid my head on the table again after Jessi left. I was still asleep, and when I woke up I immediately went down.

I went to the library and texted Jessi if where she's at. When she replied historical corner I immediately went there.

I still need to pass science corner before I can get there. And when I passed, I stopped when I saw Blake and Ayanna. They are being sweet to each other while reading books.

From here I can see Blake smiles like the happiest person on earth. And that smile, is what I never seen of him whenever he's with me. It only appears, when there is Ayanna on his sight. But what would I expect? I'm not Ayanna, nor someone important.

I feel like he's not really my bestfriend cause he considers me one. Maybe I'm just his bestfriend because he knows when he wants to play with something, I also play.

I sigh while biting my lips. I bent down and was about to leave when someone suddenly stopped me. I look at Jessi.

"So I've been waiting for someone who's here busy torturing herself." she said with her arms crossed. He looked at Blake for a moment and then at me again.

I saw her rolled her eyes so I looked away.

"Come on, let's go." it passed me and he walked ahead.

I was tempted to follow him.

Even the word tanga, I already get used to. Why not? That's really how I am. It’s a lie that if I say so anyway, I’m not a fool just loving.

Because it's just the word that loves a fool. Why, do you love someone who loves someone else? Though it's an unstoppable circumstance, still you have the power to control it until it becomes void. But since I'm still sending until I get to the point where our set up has become so dirty, that's stupid.

My name should be 'Tanga'.

*sigh*

Me and Jessi went to our class. The teacher discussed and later on given us quizzes. And during this moment of my life, what else do I expect my score to be? Of course not just passing.

After class, Jessi took me to the café to eat. So we went there. He who ordered me he also paid. And while we were eating I was still quiet.

I just went back to my trance because of Jessi's heavy sigh.

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Do you know how much I wanted to ask you if you're okay? But every time I do, a realization would also come up to me and knock the thought of checking you up. Why? Cause I would still be hearing the same thing . 'I'm fine.' 'I can handle this.' But everytime you said that, what's written in your face says otherwise. "

I bent down and put a spoon on my plate. I leaned back in my seat and I started to play with my fingers.

I felt bad for Jessi cause she also has to carry my undying issues with Blake. I know that she has nothing to do with it, but I already told her. And Jessi has been my friend eversince highschool. Even though our friendship isn't as long as Blake's, she's still and always there when I need someone the most. We have a strong bond so I understand why she also had to go through what I'm going through.

"Why don't you just admit to Blake that you like him?"

I immediately looked at him with my eyes wide open.

"I-I can't do that."

"Why? Cause he has Ayanna and he might reject you?"

No. Cause I don't want to lose him. So if I have to do this just to keep him, then I shall.

"It would just cause me trouble."

Jessi also let go of the spoon she was holding and leaned on it while looking at me.

"The moment you started mating with your bestfriend, it already caused you trouble. Because even if you stop that, it wouldn't change the fact that you both are banging each other behind his girlfriend's back. Even if you bury it in oblivion, when you rise again after a long time he will be a heated issue between them and you. " at the same time it taught me.

"Because it all happened, when they are still together. So what's the point of avoiding trouble?"

I let out a sigh once again and I didn't answer right away.

"If you don't want to, okay." shrugged its shoulders. "Just go find a boyfriend then and keep yourself busy."

"It's like I was just looking for a non -hole cover."

"He won't be a hole cover if you're going to open your heart for that person. Don't jowain him just to forget, but jowain him so you can give him the love that was wasted the other day. Did you miss my point?"

I bit my lower lip then I nodded.

I know what Jessi wants to convey. That maybe I'm thinking that it will just cover my hole because I'm really just going to use it to forget about Blake for a while. Then I would break off easily.

"It's difficult."

"You're having a hard time, because you really don't want to."

Whaaa, why is everything he says hitting me pretentiously? Jessi really knows how to catch me.

"If you want there's a way. If you don't, there are many reasons. We're just kids, that's the saying. Don't tell me you didn't catch up?"

Napanguso ako.

"Don't suck on me, Abigail. You're the one fighting, so you should also know how to close."

*face palm*

After a whole day of class, Jessi and her boyfriend invited me to have dinner with them outside, but I told them I felt bad. Tristan is convinced but Jessi only gave me a really bitch? kind of look. Well, he knows.

So yeah, I just bought dinner and went home to my condo.

When I entered, I wondered why the light was on. I frowned and immediately entered. Blake was exposed to me cooking in the kitchen.

It was upside down, but because I knew him, whether dressed or naked, I knew he was.

I just closed my eyes with another sigh. I hope I just changed the passcode of my condo first.

I looked at him again.

"Blake?" I was supposed to be shocked.

He turned around and smiled broadly at me.

Whatever your smile is, it's still not the smile I want to see in you. You don't really see me as someone like Ayanna.

Are you disgusted with me? Why can't you smile at me like the way you smile at her?

Hays. How much I wanted to tell him that. Too bad for me, I have no right.

"What are you doing here?"

"Can't you see? Edi cooked you." at the same time he was still high on the plate.

"We cooked new dish earlier at school."

Yeah I forgot to say, Blake is an HRM student. So he has magic in his hand when it comes to cooking.

"Since I'm practicing, I've been cooking for you to taste first."

No deeper meaning. He really only tests me until he masters. And the best outcome will be for Ayanna.

I am for the raw and Ayanna is for everything. -_-

I first removed my bag and then pulled out a seat.

"But I already bought myself dinner." I put it on the table at the same time.

"Edi let's go, for more."

He took it and then carried it to the sink to remove from the bag and put on the plate.

I was just looking at him and I suddenly thought of asking him. But that thought became the word of my mouth.

"Isn't Ayanna jealous when you come here?"

It's true that he returned to the table to lay the food on the table so he looked at me.

"Of course not. He doesn't have to be jealous."

My eyebrows rose.

"You're at your sex friend's crib, there's a reason to be jealous."

It stopped and he stared at me.

"She doesn't know." he replied as he removed the apron he was wearing. "And she don't have to know about it."

I bowed slightly.

"We have already discussed this all right? I love Ayanna so as long as we can, we need to keep everything from her."

I lifted my gaze and saw the pleading in its eyes.