my first week on campus

Chapter 6

He nodded his head and turned his vision towards me with a smile. "I'm used to being treated like that, Marie. I'm also used to being left in the air. They have done that many times. This isn't the first time I've lost a friend.” His lips were smiling but sadness was engraved in his eyes. Tears also formed and tried not to let them flow down his face I smiled at him and grabbed both shoulders.

"I will not trade you Grace. But I want to know why Marie wants me to join her group. Do you also know why?”

This is not the first day that Marie has invited me to join her group and I don't know what her pure intentions are.

"We were still in high school then and he always scared the students who got close to him. He always insulted me so in the end, he left me. Alone, sad, without sympathy. Until you come Natasha and they are trying to erase you again. But I think I'm not the only reason. I'm sure they want to be friends with you because you're rich, beautiful, and smart.”

I couldn't stop laughing while holding my stomach, which is why the confusion on Grace's face made my laughter even stronger.

I am comfortable with Grace so I treat her normally. No matter what Marie does, I will not trade her.

"Do i have dirt in my face?" His voice is innocent and so is his appearance.

I stopped laughing and walked on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Grace. Just like your name, you are a blessing to me so I won't trade you for them. You're a blessing, she's just a marie biscuit. Also, I'm not rich like Marie's identity."

They just said I'm rich because of my famous brands of goods from the governor. And maybe also because of the expensive car that always picks me up. Because xpander is attractive to the eye as a service.

"Secondly, I'm not beautiful, I just have a smooth complexion. Third, I'm not smart. I'm just studying hard to make up for the kindness of the person teaching me."

While I was talking, his attention was not on me. A smile was drawn on his lips that was not like before with sadness. His smile was genuine and he looked ready to tease.

"I'm the first in the classroom. Talk to your suitor first."

Without a word he ran away. I called him and told him to wait for me. I was about to run to follow when someone grabbed my arm.

I looked at it and the abnormal drumming in my chest started again.

"You always avoid me." I swallowed and looked away. His voice was low and his tone was filled with sadness. "Natasha, I understand you if it's not possible. I said I can wait, right? But let me make you feel that I love you. I'm not rushing. I'm not forcing you either, so don't avoid me."

It was my first week on campus when our paths crossed. Other than Grace, I also became close to her. Until the day passed and he said he likes me. He said it's not hard to love me so he said goodbye that he's going to date me.

I did not agree. It is not in my dream to have a boyfriend. I'm here at school to learn not to find something in common.

I didn't agree but he insisted. I admit that apart from his looks, his actions are boyfriend material. Just like he told me, it's not hard to fall for him.

One day I woke up and I treated him differently. I didn't like it because it violated my principle. That's where I started my avoidance.

Every avoidance equals regret.

"I'm sorry Josh. I don't like it anymore." I don't like the way I feel anymore. “Please. If you're serious about me, just avoid me."

Because I can't help it if I see the sadness in your eyes.

"I'm serious but I can't do what you want. I'm serious so I'll prove it. Why are you avoiding me? Don't be like this."

I feel guilty. I avoid him and it hurts him. If I let him prove it, I will still feel guilty. Conscience because I'm keeping a secret from the governor.

I like Josh. But I have to thank Gov. This is not the right way to give thanks. It's not right for me to lie. But I'm not the only one hurt. I'm not the only one struggling.

"Sorry Josh."

Just a secret. This will not ruin my studies. I will be more persistent, I will balance my time.

"Sorry if I hurt you."

Sorry if I don't follow you first. I'm sorry I'm going to lie and keep a secret.

"I didn't like it either. But I'm also hurt."

We are both struggling. You are only one.

"It won't happen again Josh. I won't avoid you anymore. I am willing to be your date."

A week passed when I allowed Josh's courtship. I was so happy and I just felt it now. I did not regret my decision and there was no problem with my secrecy.

There is nothing new in Gov's treatment. Like before, every night I will tell a story, but of course Josh and I will not be involved.

I'm not yet ready. Fear and dread exist in me. I'll tell you when we're done. When our relationship is official.

I have no intention of prolonging it. I'm not at all. I know that he is serious based on the actions he makes and shows.

He introduced me to his friend and he always gives me something even if I don't ask for it.

I can't refuse either because that's part of courtship.

Venus knows about this and fully supports my decision. He said he wanted to see it but I then said it was when we were together. It agreed.

We were both together and we came from the library. Grace stayed behind because she said she had something to finish.

I saw xpander outside the gate so I said goodbye to him.

I got into the car and it immediately moved forward.

Brother Jeff and I have been together for over a month every time we go to and from school but we are not close to each other.

I couldn't talk to him because he always showed no expression. He seems to be faithful to his duty.

"Natasha."

I was very surprised when he suddenly mentioned my name in the middle of the silence between the two of us. I felt nervous but I ignored it.

"Why?" I turned it around and his eyes were straight on the road. It's also good if you run like you're afraid of an accident.

"How long do you intend to keep a secret from Gov? Not that I interfere. If you continue to hide, he will not accept the situation even more. Even I can be destroyed because I let you keep a secret from him. Say it until it's early. I am loyal to the service so I am warning you.”

Lying down and dumbfounded on the ceiling while remembering the warnings brother Jeff had given.

My conscience is killing me. Soon, sister Angel will knock to say that Gov is here and waiting for me in the dining area.

Just as I expected, there was a knock on the bedroom door. I stood up to open Sister Angel's door and heard again the words 'beauty is in the dining area, Gov is waiting for you'.

But that's all I was shocked when it wasn't sister Angel who greeted me but the governor who was very wide-eyed.

His face was red and he seemed to be closing his eyes. Before I could say a word, he passed my spot and entered the room.

He dropped his body on the bed with both feet dangling with shoes still on.

Except for the white longsleeves rolled up to the elbows and gray pants, he was wearing a very tired figure.

He closed his eyes while his arm was on his forehead. He seems troubled and drunk.

I took off his shoes and put them down. He must have felt it so he opened his eyes and removed his arm from his forehead.

He smiled and retreated to the other side of the bed. I closed my eyes again so I approached him and sat next to him.

Looked at the perfect eyebrows and eyelashes, beautiful nose, about eleven crimson.

Inevitably, I bit my lower lip as I stared at his neck.

There is a red color. I'm not ignorant to not know that thing.

Is Margo the culprit?

Unable to understand, suddenly both my ears felt hot. Wants to clench fists and look for jaws.

He shook his head and tried to erase the wrong way of the brain. Take a breath to calm down.

"Gov, are you okay?"

He didn't say a word or even open one eye but patted his side.

"Lie down." It was faint but enough for my two ears to hear. "Beside me."

I gave no response. I hesitated whether to follow his order but in the end I sided with him.

There was a distance at first but unexpectedly, he suddenly wrapped my waist causing us to touch each other because of his mania.

I tried to get away but I didn't have enough strength. He held my waist tightly and my face was buried in his fragrant chest.

"Why are you thin? Are you still eating?”

Our place felt so hot that he didn't seem to care. His voice was so warm it made my system boil.

Josh has already hugged me and it's almost like this distance, but why didn't I feel it for him?

I bit my lip and pushed him a little which had no effect on his body shape.

"Go-gov, I can't breathe."

His arm wrapped around me loosened so I breathed a sigh of relief. I wanted to sit down again but he didn't let me.

"Turn back,"

"Yes?"

"Turn around," he said.

I did nothing but follow what he wanted. I turned my back on him while lying down. His arm still didn't go around my waist. Her hair is in a messy bun so I can feel her hot breath on the back of my neck.

"How's your day my princess?"

Even though I was nervous and limited to our place, I still managed to tell him about my day except for Josh and me.

"I noticed that you didn't mention a man. Are you hiding something on me Natasha?”

His voice was almost a whisper, but his system was filled with so much nervousness. It was like a thorn was stuck in my throat so I had to swallow to get rid of it.

“It is impossible without a man. you are so beautiful I just need to go back to school to watch over you. To get rid of men who try to court you. Don't do boyfriend Natasha. And never do lie on me, tell me everything. I trust you. Don't ruin my first time to trust a person."

Opening his eyes, he crawled to the other side of the bed. Apart from the pillow, you won't see anything else. I don't know why I expected otherwise.

The images that returned to his mind were still clear. My eyes that were closed for the past hour were filled with sadness and conscience. Tears flowed and tried to hide behind the pillow that served as a witness of how I cried out of conscience

I fell asleep while in the arms of his arm. Heard every sigh of gentle breathing, and the rise and fall of his chest.

Now he is gone. He left early and didn't wait for me to wake up.

For some unknown reason, sadness and pain surged through my system. Showered and ate breakfast but immediately locked myself in the room.

That's why there is no class on Saturday. Today is also Josh's birthday. I don't know how I can attend. I don't know if I will repeat my escape that caused me to be imprisoned.

I should be able to leave. I should go to Josh's celebration. Now I intend to answer him. I want my life to be spacious. I want to get rid of the conscience that is between my chest.

When our relationship is official, tonight I will reveal the secret to the governor.

I took the cellphone from the table next to my bed.

I have two messages to open. My heart and mind have different responses as to who to look at first.

To Be Continued...