CHAPTER 13 :

I do need to check my emails, but I don't want to wake him up. He looks so peaceful when he's asleep. God forbid, I'll never be able to forgive myself if something bad happens to him due to my callousness.

Don't dwell on the negative, Godfrey. Well, this is attraction, isn't it? Ofcourse it is. He's a 5'8" tall, with a sculpted physique, and with flawless marble like white skin, a sweet voice, long shapely legs and brown tousled hair, which he slicks back. He's attractive. The attraction will probably fade away by time.

If it's going to fade away, why am I clarifying it to myself? It's weird, I'm being paranoid. He's still resting his head on my chest. His chest rises and falls by each breath he takes, and the feeling of being the only one watching him now, is clearly unnerving.

I should distract myself. His smell…he smells is of a long, lingering scent of ashes, roses and red wine. He doesn't even try, and he's so attractive, so beautiful. He's innocent, he deserves better than me. I'm a monster, a prick, an asshole. What would a guy, so brilliant and innocent, have to do with an abomination like me?

Stop with the self-loathing, Godfrey. My subconscious has crosses his arms across his chest and is staring daggers at me. I haven't been able to feel emotions after what happened to me when I was a human of 29 years. I shudder as the darkness tries to choke me.

No! No! I don't want to recall it again. Probably, I should do something to chill. Probably, get a drink? Like, some Brandy or whiskey? That would be perfect.

"Hmm…" Lucas flickers open his eyes as he stares at me and immediately withdraws his hand clutching my shirt. Oh baby, I don't mind.

He flushes and averts his gaze towards the couch, when he realises that his head is resting on my chest. He abruptly sits up on the bed.

What gives? What is it?

"I'm sorry, I…shouldn't have, you know, touched you like that." A blush creeps on his face. God, this guy is shy.

"It's okay, I don't mind." I grin. Let's see how it goes with you, little Mr. Carter.

"Can I use the bathroom?" He points towards the bathroom.

"Now you're asking permission?" I smirk. I want to laugh out loud. After sleeping with me on the same bed, he asks for permission to use the bathroom.

This guy surprises me all the time.

"Um…sorry, I'll be right back." He jumps from the bed and rushes towards the bathroom as he closes the door behind him.

Why is he suddenly behaving like a mountain goat? Jumping and leaping all the time? God knows what's going on in that pretty head of his.

I can hear the water splashing. He's probably washing his face. Okay, I need to order a bottle of Brandy. That's it.

I call the room service and ask me to bring a bottle of Brandy. A staff comes in a couple of minutes and keeps the bottle of Brandy on the table and leaves the room, keeping the door ajar.

What an asshole! Who's gonna shut the goddamned door now? Fuck, can people not do a simple job properly? Closing the door while leaving someone's room isn't that hard. Or, is it?

I get up from my bed and stride towards the door as I lock it from inside. Good, now I have some privacy. I hate it when someone does a job and goes away keeping it undone.

I briskly walk towards the table as I pour some Brandy in a glass. The staff has also kept a glass bowl filled with ice cubes near the bottle. I stan Brandy with ice cubes.

I pick up the tong from the bowl and gently drop a medium sized ice-cube in it. What is Lucas doing in the bathroom? I focus on my hearing abilities, and I hear foot steps pacing the washroom.

I never knew that he walked in the washroom doing nothing. Huh, how strange. Whatever, I should give him privacy. Afterall, he's an adult.

I sip the Brandy, as the cool liquid flows down my throat, leaving a slight burning sensation. Ah, that's why I love alcohol. It makes me want more. Oh, I have the whole bottle to myself. I needn't worry.

Lucas walks out of the bathroom and watches me drinking Brandy.

"Can I have a drink?" He eyes the Brandy bottle.

"Sure." I take another glass, and start preparing his drink. Once I'm done, I offer him the glass and he gulps it down all at once.

He walks towards me, until he's so close to me that I can smell the alcohol in his breath. His eyes scan me as his pupils dilate, and they change into something dark. I know this look. It's desire, it's lust. Fuck.

"See, Lucas…I don't know what—" I stutter out. This is my last procedure or my last way of maintaing self-control. If he steps beyond this line, I don't know what I'm going to do.