Chapter 8: Those Times

Alice's POV

Morning came. Or so I thought. It was still dark in my room wherein at the normal days I would open my eyes on the bright sight of my window which is having a morning chat with the warmth of the sun.

But this time. I woke up earlier than my usual waking hour. I stared up at the ceiling thinking about my dream. Usually, people stay awake after a nightmare, leaving them terrified. But this time, I stayed awake because I was thinking of a beautiful dream that left me with a pleasant feeling that almost brought me to ease yet it was painful.

Sometimes, it is easier to forget a person you used to love than the feeling and memory you both shared. I saw his smiling face. I heard those sweet words.

I dreamt of him.

And it was painful.

I used to ask myself how other people move on from a feeling that has never ended. A relationship without a closure. A feeling that made you feel not enough.

I could feel myself silently sobbing. Tears kept falling hot across my face. It was never a good sensation to have. It was too confusing to long for those pasts that can never be brought back again and hated to remember them at the same time.

I closed my eyes. I've wanted to go back to sleep again and wished that it would be a dreamless sleep but every time I try thinking of something else, all I could see was his face. His eyes that was full of emotions before.

I've always ended up with his memories even I tried chasing them away as far as I could. Why can't he just leave me alone? I was fine. I was fine without him. I needed him to come back, yes, but that was before. That was when everything was freshly wounded but not anymore.

With a heavy sigh, I wiped my tears and lifted my body away from the mattress. I should keep myself busy. I really never wanted to go back to that office where I could probably see him. He was tormenting me in many ways. I was denying it to myself but I was truly affected by his presence. Who wouldn't? He came back like nothing of a big deal happened when he just left. No reasons but just because he just got tired of I don't know what.

Before I knew, I was inside the bathroom. It was like my body has a mind of its own and just do whatever was needed to do on a daily routine. I didn't mind turning the shower a little warm; I didn't mind the coldness of the water when it hit my skin. I still had my clothes on. It was sticking on my skin making it a lot colder. But it was fine. I was fine.

I needed to be fine.

Flashback

"I like watching romantic movies", I heard him murmur while we were slouching on the couch of his apartment watching The Longest Ride. We've been watching romantic movies every time we got the chance to stay indoors and the weather tells us to be lazy all day.

I smiled. I was never sure if he was just throwing another joke when his face was as impassive as ever or he was just serious given the fact that we've been doing this for a long period of time now. And he was just so attentive and observant about everything on each scene.

"Hmm..", was all I could say. I felt him move a little since I was almost leaning half of my body on his. I turned to look at him. His hand was supporting his head as his elbow rested against the arm of the sofa.

"You still don't believe me", he looked a little annoyed.

"It's not that. It's just so hard to believe for a man to love romantic movies. I mean I've never heard you say you love action movies. Our classmates like Mark say that often", I turned my attention back at the scene on the monitor.

"Mark? Really?", his deep voice edged a touch of warning.

"Come on, babe. Surely you don't believe him when he kid about having a crush on me", I chuckled eating another caramel flavoured pop corn.

"He does. Have a crush on you, I mean", I could almost feel him roll his eyes. He was a good friend with Mark but I've noticed that he started getting irritated with the man when there's one time our group of friends teased Mark about his crush and he blurted out that he would choose me over any other girl. We all knew he was joking about it. He was so in love with Jessica that time but Seth started throwing glares whenever Mark and I were near to each other or talking about little things. I've explained it to him but he was not listening at all. He was jealous and he's cute that way.

"He doesn't"

"He does"

"He doesn't"

"He does", he gritted out.

"I've already told you. He is in love with someone else"

"I know", he replied. It caught me off guard and left my hand stranded in the air as I attempted another taste of my pop corn.

"You know?!", I shrieked, "And still you get annoyed when I talk to him?", I started getting exasperated with him. He was being unreasonable all this time.

I pouted waiting for his explanation. He stared at me for a long time, say, 10 seconds and unexpectedly pecked my lips with a feather-like kiss. Surprised, I stilled staring at him, his face was too close to me making my heart beat faster.

"I know that he was in love with someone else but that doesn't mean he won't fall for you when he has this attraction for you. You don't see it because you don't look at him properly. I can see it because I can see him the way I was before when I started wanting you for myself. I want to get closer and believe me that he wants to get closer, too", he explained

I blinked a few times before processing all of his words. Him being so close to me was not helping me quicken my thinking process at all. It pressured me. I couldn't focus well but at least I understood some of it.

"You don't get it. But make sure you get that I love you", he revealed the words with so much weight of emotions. It was like he was so sure about it.

He looked back at the screen and continued watched the movie. I was still looking at him and swore that I would always remember this time in the future. This moment. Him.

The only man I knew to have the power to simply blurt out words of love in the simplest ways and make you feel loved.

The only man I knew to love romantic movies more than action movies.

I reached out my hand to touch his face. He then looked at me again but this time, with a smile on his lips and I knew my smile was so wide it could break my face.

I pulled him down to me as I meet him half way to plant a kiss.

"I love you..", whispered and we laughed together, while the characters on the film were having a lover's quarrel. I would surely remember these times.

End of flash back

I broke down crying. Sliding down on the cold tiles of the bathroom, tears were sharper than the water spraying all over me. I sobbed my heart out. It hurts. I was still in love with those times.

I was still in love with him. That's why it hurts so much.