Heartbeat

Chapter 5

Oh, dear... I'm not a child abuser, ah. I don't like kids, I still prefer someone my age or someone a few years older than me.

I just shrugged my shoulder and amused myself by observing Grandma's tools. He is an antique collector. It's interesting.

A maid that my grandmother ordered came to prepare a snack for us. There are two of them holding a tray and it contains food and puto. Dad's favorite snack and he even requests it from Mommy. Because of him, my Mommy learned to cook this kind of kakanin and puto, which eventually became my favorite.

They placed a pitcher of pineapple juice and two cups of coffee on the center table. I snorted because I also wanted to drink coffee but they only prepared two.

They were about to pour juice into a glass for me when I quickly stopped them It's me," I said gently which still shocked him. He would have protested but I grabbed the pitcher and did it myself.

He bowed shyly then they took a position on the side.

"Sweetheart, you don't need to do that." I looked at Grandma when she spoke. Even though Dad is silent, I know he is smiling Why, Grandma?"

Let them serve you, Jessel. What you did earlier is their job. Just sit there and relax," he said strictly. I thought Grandma looked down on maids like them but what my grandma said next made my heart soften.

"It's your break time, dear. Rest first," he said with a smile and his words were sincere. Out of nowhere I looked at Dad and I found him also smiling staring at his Mom.

She likes that. Maybe he's just strict when it comes to the work of his housemates. She's kind, she's just a little bit blunt.

I sipped my drinks and we started eating snacks. Grandma will tell the story that she is almost the only one who talks to the three of us, occasionally she asks me questions that I am able to answer. Dad is the only thing you can hear is his laugh. I hope Mommy is with us today.

When we finished, Grandma took us to my and Dad's rooms. I won't be staying in a guest room today because I have my own room in the hacienda which I enjoyed even more.

"Is the waterfall that Grandma is talking about far from here?" I asked the maid who took me to my room.

"You can walk. The short cut is a bit steep. But there is another pass that won't make it difficult to get there. You can use your horse," he answered me.

I sat on the end of the bed and looked at the four corners of this room again. I can only see light blue and white and a few paintings that are pure nature. She is beautiful.

I even saw a picture of me on my 18th birthday. It's so big that even half of my body can be seen. My smile is beautiful and I am obviously happy. I'm also wearing a royal blue gown and her tube style and a small crown on my head. I looked like a princess in my debut.

My room here is big and fully equipped. The bed is queen size and the color of the bed sheet and comforter is also blue. Only your pillow is white.

There was also a vanity mirror and I stood up to see the contents of her drawer. I was just amazed because there were perfumes, make-up and others in it. They are also well placed. I couldn't help but think that Grandma might have prepared it for me too.

Because I saw my big picture frame as evidence even though he was alone. The vanity mirror is just on my left side and there is another door next to it.

"Your Grandma prepared that, Madam," the maid politely told me.

I'm right. This room is really meant for me.

"Your walk-in-closet is here. Your clothes are complete there, Senorita," he said and opened the door. He let me go inside first and my eyes just lit up when I saw the different designs of the dress.

There are also racks where shoes and sandals are placed. Even though I didn't bring my clothes because I already have them at the hacienda.

"Your Grandma bought it personally and she also organized the things inside." I just nodded. "The bathroom is connected here." I followed him when he opened the door inside the closet.

It was a bathroom and it was almost as big as my room in Manila because on the other side of it was the bathroom. There is a bathtub and lots of shower gel and different shampoos. Those settings are fine. When we got out of the bathroom, we went back to the bedroom.

Wow... I will thank Grandma later. This is too much. I didn't expect that this kind of room was prepared for me by Grandma. I just thought that maybe I would only sleep in one of the guest rooms of the hacienda," I said in amazement. which I even laughed with.

"You are his grandson alone, Señorita." I turned to face him.

"Thank you very much," I said and told him that he could go back to his work.

I was left alone in my room with a wide smile lying on my soft bed.

"Heaven..." I uttered. I closed my eyes and remembered Mommy. I got up to get my phone from my bag.

I saw a few missed calls from my Mommy and my inbox was filled with her messages.

I also saw earlier that the hacienda has a terrace so maybe mine has one too and I wasn't wrong. I went out and went to the terrace.

Whoa..." I said because the cold breeze immediately kissed my skin.

I tried to call my Mom and after a few rings someone answered on the other line. But I couldn't hear his voice properly.

"Mom? I can't hear anything..." I spoke again and again until the line was cut and at the same time Mommy's new message.

The signal is weak there in San Francisco, son. Only text messages are possible."

"Ahh..." I just said and that's when I looked at my phone. Sometimes the signal is lost.

I just pocketed it in my pants after I told Mommy that we had arrived, until my eyes were fixed on the teenager I saw earlier. Now he is bathing the horse he fed earlier. The color of the horse is light brown so it is beautiful to look at.

My room is only on the second floor so I can still see him from here even if it's just his side view.

He's really handsome... I've only seen him from afar. What if it's near? Could he be more handsome?

I just shook my head and he seemed to feel as if someone was watching him from afar. So he slowly looked up. Straight to my spot and there's my heartbeat again. Also disappearing inside my chest.

I think this is the first time that I feel my heart skip a beat.

Happy birthday..." I felt like I'm crying, because for the very first time... Rykiel Eryx greeted me on my 35th birthday... I missed that, so much...

Thank you..." I said in a trembling voice. They ignored my emotional nature.

I didn't expect to hear that from him again. Because it's been a long time he greeted me on my birthday. It's been so long... Those times when we were still together. That everything was still going well.

"Are you feeling alright?" Arzeil asked me gently which surprised me even more. I didn't immediately get what he meant What?" I asked him with a frown.

Your flowers earlier. Allergies? Jess... are you getting allergic?" he asked jokingly. I hit him on the shoulder and I just laughed at the end.

That disappeared from my mind because the coffee I drank earlier was effective. So somehow I felt better.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered and glanced at Rykiel, who was looking at me. Isn't he embarrassed that I catch him looking at me? And he stopped staring like that because his finacee was with us.

"Allergy? Why, what happened, Ms. Jessel?" Chrysler asked me confused.

"She's allergic to flowers." Arzeil answered for me.

Ah... You're allergic to flowers. We're different. I love flowers, and when Eryx actually visits me, I'm the first to greet him with a bouquet of roses!" he said happily. Her face is clear, she is really happy when Rykiel gives her flowers.

I don't know why I felt bitter after hearing and knowing. Even the food they ordered lost its taste.

I really shouldn't feel this anymore. It should be gone for me to see Rykiel with someone else and I also have to accept the fact that he's really gone.

I can't hope anymore. I should be happy for him too. Because of that, I became an obstacle to the things he wanted to achieve. In his dreams. I was a burden to him.

I'm satisfied... Because I have Zairyx Alkhairo. Rykiel and I already have a child...even though I can't even give my child a happy and complete life.

Khai is growing up, he doesn't need it anymore. A complete family? He will understand if I can't give him that.

If the day ever comes that I have to tell Rykiel about our son, and I will not deny him the right to know everything. He could...know his son.

But for now? Can't tell him first. I had to wait for him and Chrysler to get married before he found out about Khai.

Maybe because... there might be something bad. It's not the right time to tell him, especially since he's getting married.

She is getting married to someone else... Are you okay, Jessel?" he asked me again worriedly. He even managed to caress my cheek. I smiled because the weight on my chest was lightened.

I told you, I'm fine," I said laughing. I continued to eat and I could feel two pairs of eyes still staring at me.

How...what about your former lovers, Ms. Jessel? If you can't be given flowers?" Chrysler asked me curiously. I looked up at him and smiled.

Your lover before? They still keep giving me those. I couldn't refuse because it was a waste of their money to buy a bouquet of flowers. I already told them not to give me any more. What they thought was I don't really have an allergy because I always accept it, but there you go, my father... He told the truth... I don't hate flowers that because I have an allergy. I appreciate it, is that just... My body just doesn't like flowers. My parents worried too much about me. So, I don't have any choice but to tell them the truth," I said at length and I just laugh every time I remember the those.

"But don't you have a lover you answered before?" he asked more.

I'm fine with him asking about my life and it will happen now.

Nothing... That's my answer. I didn't answer anything to my lovers because it was easy for Khai's Daddy who got all of me. Before, you had to stand in line just to see me. But my attention is also on one man.

Hon..." Rykiel's voice disobeyed his fiancée in a firm but gentle voice and I even saw him holding Chrysler's hand that was resting on our table. I quickly looked away because of the pain in my chest. .I can't watch that.

"You already crossed the line, when you asked her personal life, Chrysler..." he added.

Chrysler quickly looked at me. He had a look of embarrassment on his face but I smiled lightly so he wouldn't look guilty.

I used to it, I used to people being ask me about my life and everything.

"I have my own privacy...but you can ask me anything. Just free to ask, Ms. Chrysler. I don't mind," I said and my left shoulder felt heavy because of Arzeil's arm around me.

"She's like this, Chrysler. She's too kind, so take an advantage now. She's giving it to you because it's her birthday today," said Arzeil and he hugged me tighter. I didn't look at him anymore because with him I forgot Rykiel's presence for a moment, because it was so heavy that I couldn't be bothered anymore

Good thing I'm used to this.

"Really?" Rykiel asked Arzeil in a mocking tone...but he was looking at me so I wasn't sure who he was talking to. Is it Arzeil or me? "Then... Who is your husband you were referring to in your interview earlier?" he asked which surprised me.

His face was expressionless and he was looking directly at me. His eyes also spoke as if I was the only one who could read its content.

I couldn't help being so nervous that my knees almost shook. In my entire life, I was just now more nervous than ever.

"Hon, Eryx..." Chrysler disobeyed him.

Because of this serious conversation, I couldn't find any more words to answer him. I looked at Arzeil. I would like to ask for help to change our topic to something else because I can't think of anything to answer him.

But it looks like he is also curious and wants to know who I was referring to as my husband earlier in my interview. I swallowed violently.

Arzeil didn't know anything about my life in the past and he didn't really ask. He also respects my privacy.

But do they still need to know that? Also... it's not a good idea for me to mention Rykiel Eryx's name in front of his fiancée.

Oh goodness...

"I'm interested to know that, too, babe..." Arzeil said softly. Rykiel just frowned.

"Uhm..." I said and I think I had a bead of sweat on my forehead because of the tension between us.

"You said, it's free to ask and we can ask anything... You don't mind," Rykiel told me with emphasis.

"Do... Do I need to mention his name even though he is happy with the life he has now? Do I need to disturb his peaceful life?" I will ask.

"What do you mean by that?" his fiancée asked curiously again.

Why are they all interested in knowing that? They'll just be surprised or maybe they'll think I'm crazy.

"I've moved on. I'm satisfied with Khai now. I won't ask for anything more. I have him. I don't have time to think about someone who... doesn't care about me anymore," I said smiling and they were both silent. I smiled even though I looked miserable. I smile because I accept everything.

I have accepted what happened to me and Rykiel and need to be buried in oblivion. Because that is in the past. There is no need to look back. All that is over.

After that, the atmosphere just became awkward around us so we chose to eat instead and they didn't force me to answer their question because I knew they weren't satisfied.

And even if they force me, I won't tell. Because why? Why would I say that? Because that's not important and I just hope... No one will ask me more about that matter.

I gave only one person the right to know who my ex-husband is...

And yes, it's my son. He knows his Daddy even though he has never seen him. I just told him that he looked like him, that they looked a lot alike.

To Be Continued....