5

40

Wait, where did he get my number?

I immediately looked for the calling card in my bag but it wasn't there, did I forget the calling card? I just got uprooted because of that, I just did something embarrassing.

Next time I'll be more careful, Ah no! there's no more next time, I'll never do this again ever in my life.

"Wake up sweetie, it's 2pm, eat your lunch you've been sleeping for a while." I woke up after hearing mommy's voice, I didn't even notice that I fell asleep.

I slowly stood up, I mumbled before following mommy downstairs.

I covered my nose when I got to the stairs, a pungent smell hit me.

"Mom, what did you cook?" I asked, he smiled and offered me my favorite dish, Caldereta, but why is that? I don't know the smell of panis.

"Mom when did you cook that?" I asked, I came closer to see if it was broken, I felt like I was going to vomit because of the smell.

"Just now, can't you see? The soup is still boiling Xaira." My eyebrows meet because, mommy started scooping my dishes, I can't take this smell anymore.

"Why don't you want to eat?" Mommy asked, but she also couldn't start eating.

"Eat now mom." I looked in another direction because I really couldn't stand the smell of the Caldereta in front of me.

"Don't you want Caldereta? What do you want?" mommy asked.

"No mom, I'll eat now." I took the spoon and fork before starting to eat,

41

I endured the smell until I was halfway through my meal, I immediately stood up when I felt like I was going to throw up.

"Hey, what's happening?" Mommy asked, I didn't answer her question, I quickly ran to the sink and vomited there.

"Are you okay?" mommy asked while rubbing my back, I'm not, I know.. I'm not.

"Do you want to go to the Hospital to take a check up? I think you're not fine, you look dizzy." Mom said but I refused it.

"I'm fine mom, no need to go to the hospital." I answered him, he supported me back to the chair.

"Maybe you're tired at work, I'll tell this to Ched so she'll talk to your director to give you one month to rest." He was about to take out his cell phone but I immediately grabbed it. "Why?" He asked.

"Don't worry mom, we still have 2 more days here, that's why we paired up to have bonding and rest, right? Don't worry mom I'm fine." I smiled at her to make her believe quickly, mommy was easily carried away by my smiles.

after I ate, I immediately took a shower because I was leaving to buy a pregnancy test, I'll try it now.

"Ma'am what do you need?" The pharmacist asked, I immediately took the pregnancy test that was just in front before handing it to him, I bought five pregnancy tests.

I'm wearing a face mask because he might recognize me. I'm also wearing shades to be sure.

I carefully exited the pharmacy before returning to my car, I removed my shades and mask before starting to drive back home.

42

"Where have you been?" mommy greeted me so I almost jumped because of the shock.

"Mom, why are you so surprised?" I asked before approaching him. "I came from the Pharmacy, bought medicine." I added when I got close to him.

"What kind of drugs?" he asked, I took out a medicine I bought, to get rid of poison.

I also went upstairs after non, should I use the pregnancy test or not?

I closed my eyes tightly before entering the bathroom, I need to try this one, I have nothing to lose.

I hardly stop praying that I'm not pregnant while I'm waiting for the results of the pregnancy test, I don't wanna lose my career opportunity.

I almost sat down when I saw that there were two lines on the pregnancy test, but like I said, I won't believe it until a doctor says it, so I tried and tried until I used all the pregnancy tests that I bought. me and there is only one result, allpositive.My hand was shaking when I left the bathroom, so I'm pregnant? I laughed weakly before shaking my head no, I'm not.

I put the five pregnancy tests as in in my bag at the end and I took out the contraceptive pills from the pocket of my bag, I drank three pieces at the same time, I almost threw up after I drank them, suddenly my vision blurred and when I woke up and I was on the sofa, wait nothis is the house we are staying in Paris.43

I looked around, we are now at home, in the Philippines.

"Mom how did we get home?" I asked mommy, she was just sitting next to me.

"You passed out in Paris so I rushed to take you to the Hospital but the Hospital was full of people that's why I couldn't check on you, Laurent was the first thing that came to my mind so I called him first. He said that I will bring you back to the Philippines because you may have just moved to Paris, you slept for two days because of taking three medicines at the same time, we have not been able to identify what medicine you took because we still haven't seen the pill. When mommy explained, I breathed a sigh of relief because they didn't know that I was taking contraceptive pills, there was little chance of them knowing that I was pregnant. "Doc. Laurent has already checked you." he added, it was like cold water was poured on me after seeing Laurent smiling as he walked towards me.

"Doc. Laurent, what happened to my son? Why did he pass out? Do you know what medicine he took?" Mom asked one question after another.

Laurent's smile faded before looking at me seriously. "Don't worry she's not pregnant." Laurent's introduction, does he already know? has he met me?

"What do you mean? Of course my daughter is not pregnant, she hasn't introduced any boyfriend to us." mommy answered.

"Well, based on my check, he took contraceptives that's why he lost consciousness, his body couldn't handle three contraceptives at the same time." Explain it. "I'm not sure if she's pregnant or not, maybe the test shows something different because she also took the contraceptive pill, well now, let's just say she's not pregnant, let's have another consultation next t—" I cut him.

"There is no next time, this is the first and the last time I will consult with my father Doctor Laurent, I'm not pregnant and I'm sure about that." I said slowly, he just shrugged his shoulders before speaking again.

"For now, tell your partner about this one, you should both make a decision about this before you decide to abort the baby."

"You don't have to tell me, get out of here and if I want to tell my partner, I will." he laughed softly because the weakness in my voice was obvious, he nodded before saying goodbye to leave.

I clutched my chest when my heart rate suddenly increased, why do I get nervous every time I see or talk to him?

44

I turned around when I felt someone holding my hand.

"Mom." I called him. "Why?" I will ask.

"You probably haven't thought about having an abortion, have you?" He asked me, I couldn't answer because of that. "You know that we will still accept you anything that happened, so if you're pregnant, don't worry we will accept you, just please don't do abortion, don't kill a baby." He's begging, I don't know, I don't know.

"Mom." I said, he tightened his grip on my hand. "I will not do, abortion, just trust me please, I am not pregnant."

I'm so sorry mom, I don't want anyone else to feel bad because of this child and even more I don't want to ruin my career just because of this so I can't promise that I won't do the abortion you're talking about.

45

I'm here right now at the taping, they're currently fixing my horse car because I have to race for the scene later.

'For now, tell your partner about this one, you should both decide about this before you decide to abort the baby.' I just got tired after remembering what Laurent said yesterday, like wow.

"Ms. Xaira said it will start in 5 minutes." Dani said, I nodded and looked at my final look in the mirror before walking to the open field where the race scene was held.

They chineck the horse one more time before making me sit.

"In one, two, three, action!" The director shouted loudly, I took a deep breath before tightly holding onto the horse I was riding.

I went down there while Hiro supported me, his suite suits him.

"Thank you for giving me another chance." I held his hand tightly before jumping down from the horse.

"Even though I gave you a chance, it doesn't mean I've forgiven you, the pain is still there because of what you did, I still don't understand why you did that Gerald, know that feeling? It's messy." I answered before letting go of him, he took a deep breath before tightly holding my hand again.

."Jia, let's not talk about that, I regret what I did, let's just forget that for a while, let's just be happy for a moment, I want to spend the rest of my days with you while I'm still here and the Philippines." I smiled at him before nodding, I tightened my grip on his hand before pulling him away.

"Good luck with the surgery." I said while holding her, she nodded in response.

46

well in this show, Gerald or Hiro it's just a second lead, he is not yet my leading man in this show, Gerald will die here so Jia will meet a man who is his real leading man, Razi will continue who will be jealous that's why he will steal even the new oneJia's leading man, well that's the story.It's only two months and I'll finish this Drama, I don't need to be nervous about seeing Laurent, nervous that he might recognize and remember me, even more nervous because I might be pregnant.

"Xaira watch out!" Hiro said before pushing me, there was a big hole that I didn't notice because of the depth of my thoughts.

"Cut!" The director yelled, I barely moved as an apology.

"Sorry director." I'm sorry. "Let's continue." I added, he took a deep breath before returning to his seat.

"Let's just continue, in three, two, one, action!" I felt Hiro holding my hand, he squeezed it slightly before smiling at me, I returned his smile before returning to acting.

We almost took a few takes because I was yawning, if I wasn't yawning I would suddenly be stunned, I'm sitting in front of the make up table now while the make up artists are fixing it for the next scene.

"Xaira are you alright? looks like you're deep in thought, did you sleep well last night? Why did you seem so sleepy earlier?" Mama Ched asked worriedly, I took a sip of my coffee before answering her question.

"I'm alright Mama Ched, I slept well, maybe I'm bored—"

"It's impossible Xaira, you love your work so much that it's impossible for you to be bored during the shoot." She cut me, I took a deep breath before dismissing the make up artists surrounding me.

"Mama Ched I hide it as a secret, please don't tell this to anyone." I started while taking the pregnancy test from my bag.

"Don't worry, it's been a while since we worked together, did you come out with a secret?" He asked, I shook my head before finally showing him the pregnancy test I brought, his eyes widened before he held it in his mouth.

"Xaira, you're just pranking me, aren't you?" He asked, I slowly put down the pregnancy test before holding his hand.

"No." I answered, I saw his eyes watering, that's why my eyes started to water, it's hard to control my emotions.

47

"Shh, Xaira don't cry your make up will be ruined." Mama Ched stopped. "Don't worry, I'm not mad, I just felt a little disappointment, Xaira you've already signed, that's it, that's your dream so why now?" he said questioningly, I carefully wiped my tears before answering his question."Don't worry Mama Ched, I'm taking contraceptives so I'm sure the child in my womb won't last too long, the doctor checked me yesterday and he said their test can't be sure if she's pregnant am I or not." When I eased inside her, she quickly took the pregnancy test and put it back in my bag.

"I trust you, you don't have to abort your baby but if that's what you want, just always remember that I'm here to support you, I really love you Xaira, you're my daughter." I smiled after hearing what he said, yeah, she's my second mom.

I hugged her tightly after that, we were also summoned that's why I was the one who retouched myself since I also ruined my make up.

It took me a few minutes to fix it and I immediately returned to Mama Ched's place, they were currently reviewing the last scene we took, I drank water because I felt dizzy.

when they finished reviewing the last scene, I immediately took my place, this scene is where I will compete against Razi in the horse race.

"Action." the director suddenly said that's why I quickly looked at my car, I walked closer to it before getting on and talked to it for a while.

"Win me over, huh?" I said to the horse, it made a strange sound that you thought understood what I said, I laughed softly before rubbing its head again.

48

Next, the other horses came out, Razi was next to me.

a strong seven made the horses we were riding run, Razi looked at me badly while he was riding the horse next to me.

"I told you Razi stop being childish." I threatened him but he just made me suffer, he hit the horse he was riding that's why it came first, wait.

"Razi you must stay at my back, you are not following the script." I said softly, just enough for Razi to hear but he ignored me, the horse he was riding just kept running, the horse I was riding went faster, I could hardly control it.

"Oh my god, no please stop." when I talk to the horse but it seems to be angry and only speeds up its running.

I was ahead of Razi, I was about to start to control the horse but suddenly the horse stopped which caused a strong force to make me jump.

"Xaira!" Mama Ched shouted before approaching me, I was dizzy.

I was sitting down, that's why my hip hurt, Mama Ched helped me get up, but my pain only got stronger.

"Do you want to send to the Hospital?" asked Mama Ched as she helped me get inside the tent until I sat down.

"No, I'm fine." I answered, I got up to get another change of clothes, I'm sure the taping will move because of what happened.

"Xaira, you're bleeding." Mama Ched said that's why I stopped, I immediately ran to the mirror to see if I was bleeding and yes, the white I was wearing was almost red.

"Maybe it's my period day." I said, I still swallowed after thinking that my baby might fall, I wanted to go to the Hospital but I stopped myself because this is what I really want, right?

"It's not, it wasn't there before and menstruation isn't that much, Xaira, your baby." I closed my eyes tightly before going back to sitting, Mama Ched held my hand to lead me upright but my body seemed to be softening.

"Xaira stand up, we're going to the Hospital." Mama Ched said while holding my arm but I just continued to be dumbfounded, my thoughts almost went blank and so did my hearing.

49

Mama Ched kept talking but I couldn't hear it, I felt like I wanted to cry but I just held myself back, I feel like I don't want to lose my baby but I'm held back by the thought of how is my career? what about my dream

"Let your tears out, It will cause a stress for you and also that's not good for the baby.. ours." I returned to my trance after I heard Laurent's voice, wait, what is he doing here, and what did he say? Our baby?

"What did you say?" I asked, he laughed softly before supporting me as we left.

"I said it's not good for our baby." The thickness of the face is repeated.

"My baby too, what are you doing here and one more thing, I didn't say I was pregnant!" When I refuse.

"One question, one answer, are you the girl who suddenly kissed me at the Bar?" He asked, I couldn't speak because of that.

"What are you talking about? Of course it's not me!" He laughed because of my answer before taking out his cell phone, he played the cctv video taken outside the bar and you can see us going to his car where something happened to us.

"Where did you get that?" I asked, he didn't answer my question, I stepped back when he brought his face closer to me before whispering.

"See? It's our baby." He whispered, I winced before pushing him away from me.

"It's not, didn't I tell you that I will pay you? It's my problem and you have no right to interfere in it." I answered, he laughed in disbelief before picking me up.

"Hey! Wait! Where are you going to take me! Someone who sees might make an issue!" I shouted as he picked me up bridal style, I slapped his shoulder but he just continued

carried until we reached his car.

He dropped me inside before I locked the door.

"Hey Laurent, stay away from me." I said because he brought his head closer to my neck before kissing it.

"What was that kiss for? Let me out!" I shouted at him while trying to open the door.

I screamed when he picked me up and sat me on his lap, like this. this is our position that night.

"Remember this scene Ms. Xaira?" When he said teasingly, I was about to stand up from sitting on his lap but he held my hand tightly so I couldn't stand up.

"So tell me, it's our baby right?" he said questioningly, I hit his hand on the car door like a stone, that's why he immediately let go of me.

"It's mine, not ours, it's mine, only mi—" I stopped when he kissed my stomach, My eyes widened because of what he did.

"It's my sperm so it's also mine, I didn't agree to sell sperm to you so basically I don't need your payment, all I need is you and 'our' baby." I closed my eyes because of the poison.

"Hey are you okay?" he asked worriedly, I closed my eyes because my vision was getting darker and darker.

"Take me to the Hospital Laurent, I've been bleeding for a while now and I'm really going to get shot because you keep saying so much!" I tried to scream before my vision went dark.