Chapter 2: Man-whore

That's how it happened. That's when I knew I'm not going to keep living a normal life despite what my father said to me. That's when something inside of me shifted and I slowly started to change.

For the better? No.

I'm currently at the party and thinking of something that happened only two months ago. This black haired chick grabs my attention from the middle of the room. I just sit here with a cup of whiskey between my fingers and alcohol in my system.

My friend Chase is telling me about his hookup with his girlfriend from a few minutes ago. Why do guys always brag about those things? What's there to brag about? We all have sex at some point and then find out what it feels like. But eh... A guy and his ego come together in a package. Always.

I'm no different.

"Matthew! Man, happy birthday! I haven't seen you in so long. It's been like four months. ", Cole pats my shoulder. I give him a quick smile.

"Thanks.”

"Are you back to school? You know we have one more year to go? "

"I don't know. I've been missing out on a lot. I don't know if I can catch up with it. It's the end of semester in a few weeks. All the important exams are coming up. ", I sigh.

"So.. You pretty much are on Chase's level of knowledge. He was there when you weren't, yet he doesn't know shit. ", Cole smirks.

"Fuck off. ", Chase spits. "I have more important things than school. "

"Whatever. Back to Matthew. ", Cole turns to me. "You need to come back. I don't think I can make it without you. I only hang out with retarded people lately. ", he quickly glances at our friend. I smile.

"I'll think about it. ", I send the whole content of my cup down my throat and put it back on the table. I suck in a harsh breath, feeling a bit dizzy already.

"What time is it? “ I ask.

"It's.. About two in the morning. ", Cole answers. My eyes widen.

My birthday is over and I forgot that Natalie wanted to see me around ten pm.

"Oh my god. I got to go. ", I slur and stand up. I still have the balance. I'm not that drunk, good.

"Where to?”

"Natalie's been bugging me about us spending this evening together but I forgot... ", I groan.

"Be careful with your little girl. Maybe she meant deeply into it when she said 'spend the evening together'. ", Chase grins at me.

"Shut up. ", I growl and pick up my car keys.

"You can't drive like that. “ Cole reminds me.

I shake my head. "I'm not wasted. I only had three or four of these cups. "

"Doesn't matter. If the cops make you pull over, they could easily give you a ticket or even worse. Your breath stinks, dude. I'll drive you to Natalie's. "

"Whatever. Let's go then. ", I say and walk away.

I accidentally bump into that black haired girl and she turns to face me. Blue eyes, peach colored lipstick... She's hot.

"Hurry. I want to get back here afterwards. ", Cole appears next to me.

I lean my lips against the girl's ear. "You're mine for the next party.”

When I pull away, my friend pushes me farther and I notice the girl watching after me with a blush on her cheeks. I wink and turn back to my track, walking out of the house.

"You two are already going? “ Quentin, the party organizer and our close friend, speaks.

"No. Matthew is. Girlfriend problems. ", Cole explains to him and laughs.

"She's not my girlfriend. Do you fucking get that? ", I roll my eyes.

"But you want her to be. “ Cole pats my back.

"No. I don't. I thought we were past this so stop saying shit. "

"We're talking about Natalie again, right? “ Quentin asks.

"Yes and we are cutting the subject because you guys are acting like preschool kids about it. Literally. Cole, I want to hurry so let's go already. ", I snap.

"Alright. ", he raises his hands in surrender and I walk him to my car.

Once we are both in our seats, I throw my keys at him and he begins to drive. About two or three minutes later, Cole parks in front of Natalie's house and I thank him despite his previous idiocy.

"How are you going to go back? “ I ask him as we both get out of my car. He shrugs.

"I'll walk.”

"You... Will walk? "

He's one of those people who are addicted to cars. He can't go anywhere without a car because he's just too lazy to walk.

"I'll try. If I collapse to the ground in the middle of nowhere, it's your fault. ", Cole smiles.

I laugh. "I think I could live with it.”

"Fuck you.”

"See you, dude.”

"See ya.”

I approach Natalie's front door but stop right before it. What if she's asleep? I messed up big time.

I groan to myself and try to dial her number but it goes straight to voicemail. I end the call without speaking into it because it annoys me. Wait. I have the key to her house. She gave it to me a few months ago just in case. I don't know where it is though. I think it's in my car.

I walk back to the vehicle and open the door. I bend down to search for the thing, my ass and legs hanging out of the car and my stomach pressed against the passenger's seat.

"There you are.”

I grab the key and slam the door of my car closed. I wince as I feel the need to piss. I can't exactly control it yet. I quickly run to Natalie's backyard and push my pants down my legs. I made it on time.

I let out a sigh of relief as I finish and dress myself. I run back to her front door and slowly unlock it. It's dark inside and I assume Natalie's sleeping. Closing the door behind me, I slowly pace across the room and climb up the stairs.

Once I'm in her bedroom, my eyes wander to the bed and catch Natalie sleeping with her arms wrapped around her pillow. She's never been a person to sleep peacefully. I'm surprised she's not turned upside down.

I look down as the moonlight shines on the small box next to her bed.

Matthew' favorite movies is written on it. My heart begins to pump fast. My chest tightening.

I take a look at the nightstand where a plate with donuts covered in vanilla toping is laid. Vanilla is my favorite.

Happy 18 is written on a huge bag on the floor and there's a basketball in it. I had to quit playing basketball after the surgery and Natalie knows it... Basketball is my life. Was.

My eyes soften and I slowly approach her, careful not to make any sound.

I'm such an asshole. She did all this for me and I forgot to come.

"Thank you. “ I whisper and lean down to kiss her cheek. Natalie moves in her sleep and I stay frozen above her. Her eyes slowly open and she stares up at me for a few seconds before actually blinking.

"What... ", she breathes and sits up, turning on a lamp on the small nightstand. "What are you doing here? "

"I... I remembered. ", I mutter. She stares at me. "I... The gifts are amazing.. "

Natalie still doesn't say anything. She just stands up.

"Natalie, um... thank you. “ I look away as she comes closer to face me.

"Who let you in my house? “She asks.

"I have the spare key... You gave it to me. ", I raise it to show her but she snatches it out of my grip.

"Sorry. I just remembered I needed that. ", she sends me a fake smile.

"Natalie... I'm sorry I didn't show up. I was at a party and Chase and Cole were there, as well as some chicks and I had a few drinks and our hang out slipped from my mind. ", I try to explain.

"Whatever. ", Natalie walks past me.

"Are you mad at me? “ I follow her to the living room.

"Nope.”

"I know you are. Tell me. ", I scratch the back of my neck.

She puts the key on the shelf and turns to face me.

"It's your birthday and your life anyway. You choose who you spend it with. You clearly wanted to be with them rather than here with me and... I'm cool. ", she shakes her head and looks away. I gulp.

"It's not true. I was just... Busy. This blonde chick literally dragged me to the bedroom. ", I turn my head to the side to show her a big hickey on my neck.” I couldn't exactly say no but I promised myself I'd come to you after we are done, you know? But I forgot later. I'm really sorry! I'll do anything, please don't be mad. "

"Why are you telling me that? I don't actually care for the details of your whoring around. ", Natalie crosses her arms over her chest.

"Whoring around? Natalie, what are you saying? "

"You've slept with about six or seven girls ever since... You know. Different slut every weekend. "

"I'm not a man whore. Is that what you're trying to call me? "

"I didn't say anything. You said it yourself. I just don't understand. "

"You don't need to understand. It's fine for a guy to have some fun. You act like you've never had sex before. It's a search for the one. "

Natalie laughs in my face. "The one? You really think one of those whores you sleep with could be the right girl for you? "

"I don't care. I'm still young and I want to have fucking fun. Not like any girl would want to be in for a long term relationship with me knowing I... ", I stop myself. I've never told her about the diagnosis.

"You what?”

"Nothing. It doesn't matter. ", I rub my forehead with my hand.

"Well, to me, it matters. Matthew, you are out doing who knows what kinds of stuff and you don't even think for a second that maybe, there is someone who cares about you. ", Natalie wipes under her eyes.

I sigh and rub my eyes frustrated. "I'm sorry. Okay? "

"There are certain situations in life when 'sorry' is too small of a word to justify your mistakes.”

"I didn't do anything wrong. Would you stop annoying me now? We can have our hang out session today, in the morning or whenever you'd like. "

"If our hanging out is an obligation to you, then no thank you. “She walks up the stairs and back into her room with me following behind.

"It's not like that!”

"Just take this thing and go. I can't believe I went to LeBron James to get his signature for you. ", she throws the ball at me and I catch it in my arms. I see a small signature on it.

"Can we just talk? What are you actually so upset about? Is it the fact that 'I'm a man whore' or that I didn't come to see you tonight? Tell me. "

"Leave me alone. ", Natalie says and raises her blanket, crawling underneath and tucking herself perfectly. I walk closer.

"I'm sorry! Will you just cooperate? I don't want to fight with you! "

"I don't either so get out of my house. “Her heavy breath drives me insane.

"You know I'd come to see you whenever you wanted me to. You could have just called. "

"It's your birthday, I'll repeat once again. You decide what you do with it. "

"Why are you being so difficult? “ I tug at my hair with one hand.

"Matthew, I am tired, it's three in the morning and I want to sleep. I'd be thankful if you would just excuse yourself and leave already. ", Natalie turns away from me and buries her face in the pillow.

Harsh breath flows through my nostrils and to my lungs. I don't know what to say. I'm angry.

"You know what? Fine! I'm glad I didn't spend my birthday with you if you were going to bitch about everything I do every fucking minute. You may keep your stupid presents! ", I shout and throw the ball. It breaks the small lamp and I step back. I fall backwards and my butt hits the floor.

"Oh my god. What did you do? ", Natalie gasps and sits up.

My head starts to hurt unbearably. I groan and push my feet against the floor, trying to reach the wall that's behind me. I lean against it and close my eyes. I'm still pretty drunk and this little screaming match isn't good for my health.

"I don't feel so good.”

"I can't believe you Matthew. What happened to you? This was my mom's favorite lamp. She used to tell me stories late at night by its side. We had it here for thirty years, even before I was born, and you've just broken it! "

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. ", my eyelids are heavy. I slowly close and open them.

Natalie lets out a small sob she's been keeping in ever since I came. I look up at her.

"Don't cry. I'll buy you a new one. ", I breathe in and out quietly.

Natalie shakes her head and lies back on her bed, not even bothering to pick up the broken glass.

It's not only lamp that I shattered tonight.

If I took a better look, I'd see smashed pieces of our friendship scattered across the floor.

My back slides down the wall and eyes close. I fall asleep that way, in the middle of the broken mess, feeling too exhausted to stand up and fix it.

This would have gone much smoother if she wasn't so sensitive. Why is she so upset over everything I do? Those are my decisions after all.