6

After an uneventful afternoon, I walked with my bike at my side beside a strutting Jonas, who was eager to get home to get ready for a date this evening with his “mystery boy/girl”. I have yet to figure out who he’s seeing, and even though I am a bit hurt he won’t tell me about it, I give him a hint of a smile as he’s babbling on whether he should wear his black shirt, or just keep it casual with a basic t-shirt and a pair of jeans? Would he be able to get to his football match in time after the date? He gesticulates vigorously with his arms as he talks, temporarily blinding me with the reflection coming from his signet ring, showing the Coven’s sign of the snake. His happy ranting is suddenly interrupted, as his flashing eyes is replaced by a blank expression. He continues anxiously;

“Do you think my hair looks stupid today?!”, running a hand over the back of his head in search for any stray hairs destroying his meticulously, yet very casual-looking styled hair.

“The only thing stupid here is you.” I nudge him playfully in the side with my elbow. “Your date is going to think you look great, as usual.” Which is true, Jonas is a good-looking guy with his chocolate brown hair, seemingly effortlessly tousled, but in reality, styled for ages. His brown eyes have always had me thinking of a rich mix of dark honey and whiskey, the last rays of sunset and the earth after a rainfall, where the shade can range from an inky, dark brown, to the colour of amber when light is reflected in them. If Jonas hadn’t been so restricted to basically only hanging out with witches, he’d be even more popular with the girls at school, I imagine. Smouldering eyes, combined with grabbable hair and a body to die for is something a lot of girls would love to explore. Jonas sure was stupid to only hang around me, when he just as easily as me could see the lingering looks he received at school. I still vividly remember the day he walked up to me one week into 7th grade to help me in a discomforting situation, taking me under his wings ever since then. The first week of 7th grade was not easy, and I’ve been forever grateful for him being there for me that day.

That school year had begun exceptionally bad, as I had grown quite a lot over the summer. Before summer, my clothes were just barley too short, making jeans pass for ankle pants. They now looked like they belonged to a younger sibling, making me look even more dishevelled than normal. My strawberry blonde hair had taken on an even lighter shade from being out in the sun all summer, but since I hadn’t had a summer job to earn money for a long-needed haircut, my long hair had taken on the unmistakable look of a raven’s nest. Naturally, this wasn’t a recipe for success.

From grade 1 to 6, Solhall children went to school in the middle of our town, while Espborg children went to school in their town. From 7th grade, children from both towns went to the same school, which meant this year was the first year in a new class with a lot of new faces. I arrived at school on my old bike with butterflies in my stomach, hoping the new school year would be a good one. With a screech from the antique breaks of my bike, I came to a stop in the bicycle parking, right next to a small group of very grown up-looking girls wearing the type of clothing I would have sold my soul for to be able to own and wear; tight jeans, short skirts, cute colourful tops and chic handbags. I tried out a small smile at the strangers to test the ground for potential friendship and received an army of hostile Pan Am-smiles back. Since all Gods of all religions seems to hate me, I managed to stumble while getting off the bike, resulting in me tripping and falling like a clown, right at the feet of the gorgeous group of Amazon-girls in front of me. Sniggers from the girls reached my ears, and my cheeks burned in humiliation. It’s obviously not enough that I look like a homeless scarecrow, I also need to act like a fool in front of my new classmates on the very first day at school, because, that’s just me, I guess. Clumsy and awkward. I felt immense safe-hatred and reprimanded myself for proving Evy and Kurt right; I’m not even able to perform one of the simplest tasks in the world without embarrassing myself or failing.

“Are you alright? That was quite the fall.”

I looked up from my misery and saw Alex were standing over me with a concerned look on his face and an outstretched hand to help me up on my feet.

My eyes darted from his face to his hand, unsure of what to do and painfully aware that the group of supermodels were observing us. I felt like a deer caught in headlights and I’m mortified even he saw me going down like an oaf.

“It seems she lost the ability to speak.” The scoffing voice belonged to a caramel blonde angel from the group of gorgeous girls, who wasn’t not looking very angelic at the moment, as her narrow eyes were giving me an icy stare. I tried to ignore her remark and scrambled to my feet, dusting my scruffy jeans and thinking the probability of being able to befriend this group of hostile girls was virtually zero, given that all of them glared fiercely at me. I gave Alex a short ‘yes, thanks’ before running off, hoping I wouldn’t see him again for some time. Distressed, I rushed into a restroom to wash my bloody palms, as I evidently managed to scrape my skin as I fell. As I entered the classroom, I was relieved to see that the injures had already healed.

The day ended with me volunteering to take care of the class pet, Tuss, after school during this first week of school. Tuss was a cream-coloured hamster, a little ball of fluff that loved honeydew melon and scratches behind the ears. I had always loved all types of animals, so to volunteer was an easy decision. Also, Tuss wouldn’t judge the fringed bottom of my well-used jeans, my short, brittle nails, or my prehistoric cell phone. Tuss would happily take a piece of broccoli and, hopefully, let me pet him. On my way to pick up his pellets, I bumped into Ella, who in 7th grade had not yet experimented with artificial colour in her hair. Her long, sleek, jet-black hair was in a French braid, and she had not acquired that quirky, eccentric style quite yet, as I remember her wearing something that would be considered unusual for Ella; a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans.

“Oh! Hi, Sam!”, she said surprised. “Didn’t see you there.” She beamed at me and asked about my summer break. I remember being too confused on why she was even talking to me and too embarrassed to tell her the truth about my work-filled summer, so I mumbled her some made-up story about ‘catching up on books I had wanted to read’.

“Sounds nice. Much nicer than my summer, I had to visit relatives I haven’t even met since I was a kid. The flight back from Hanoi went well though, my nana packed enough Bánh men cookies to keep me fed to spring!”

“Cool”, I stated stiffly, still very unsure what she was playing at. We had in one minute uttered more words to each other than we had in our entire lives.

“Um… So, I was wondering, if you’d maybe, like, I don’t know, hang out some time…?” She nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and quickly continued with a more convincing voice; “I know we don’t really know one another, but I promise, my nana´s cookies will bring us closer than mac ´n cheese and a glass of milk!”

“Aren’t mac ´n cheese and a glass of milk technically 3 things?”

“Well, yes, you’re right, but I love a cold glass of milk to my mac ´n cheese, I had to add it! You know what I mean, right?”, she replied with a wide grin. I really didn’t, but nodded my head tentatively anyway.

“So, you’re in?”

“Umm…Sure, why not?”

“Awesome! I’ll text you in the next couple of days, alright?”

“Okay, sounds good.”

She re-adjusted her shoulder bag and glanced at the boys’ Solhall football team, who came bustling in through the corridor doors on their way to the football fields on the school grounds. Her eyes darted back to me and gave me a hasty goodbye and suddenly dashed off, leaving me wondering what the hell happened. Did I just make a friend!? I couldn’t help but sense something that felt similar to a sudden flare of joy in the pit of my stomach. I have never had friends in my entire life. I have never been bullied, but I was usually just on my own and never invited to the community, while everybody else went about their activities. I remember it used to bug me when I was younger, but at 7th grade, I was used to being invisible, and it didn’t hurt anymore. Ella’s sudden outreach to me made me realize the craving for friendship still surged within in me, a craving that now was reignited. I still pondered over the potential approaching friendship with Ella, as I walked back to the common room where the pet area was located. The corridors were almost eerily quiet, since school had ended for the day. I passed the rows of empty benches and walked up to the quiet area in the common room to check on Tuss. Plush sofas and soft lightning made the space very inviting. The hamsters’ cages were in the far corner of the area. Because hamsters are nocturnal animals, I carefully opened up his cage, trying not to wake him up yet. I could see he’d been busy excavating the sawdust underneath his little house, making it crooked and tilted. Approaching footsteps let me know the volunteer for the school’s other pet hamster, called “Honey”, was arriving. I looked over my shoulder to greet whoever was approaching, and felt a jolt in my stomach as I saw who it was.

“Hi. You like animals too?”, Alex said to me, who already looked like a God to 13-year old me. Damn. Couldn’t I go at least one day without being reminded I can’t even dismount a bike properly? I mentally curse whoever’s responsible for my resent bad luck. “Or were you just a victim of being the unlucky first ‘volunteer’ this week?”, he continues.

“The first one. And hi.”, I mustered up a smile in my tense face, and he seems to notice my embarrassment as he politely turns away and starts to prepare the pellet mix and nesting fluff for Honey. We worked in silence for a few minutes, but when he was about to drop down a whole broccoli to Honey, I unfortunately had to break our awkward silence.

“Wow! No, you can’t give her that much broccoli.”

Alex stops in his action of pouring in half a kilo of broccoli in poor Honey’s cage.

“Why not? Broccoli is good for them, right?”

“Well, yes, but you can’t give them too much, it’ll hurt her. Didn’t you say you like animals?”

“I do, put I’ve never had any pets or anything. I just assumed, if broccoli is good, a lot of broccoli would be even better!”

“Yeah…No. That’s not how it works. Just give her a small piece. Do you think you need help with the worms, or have you got it?”

“The what?”, he said and wrinkled his nose.

We ended up finishing up taking care of the hamsters together, which yes, means I took care of the worms. Alex tried to pick up Honey, but she bit him in his index finger, a clear indication of her disapproval. I rode my bike home, thinking I might have made not just one, but two friends in one day, despite the disastrous beginning in the morning.

As the week progressed, Ella still hadn’t texted me, and she seemed to be intent on not making eye-contact with me in class. I wondered if I had just imagined the whole episode in the corridor? I still took care of Tuss after school, chatting a bit with Alex a bit – he even suggested we could go celebrating that our duty was fulfilled on Friday evening by going the local ice cream shop together (yes, I was ECTATIC) - and went home to tend to my chores at home before digging into my homework. On Thursday, Alex even managed to gently pick up Honey without any biting incidents by offering her sunflower seeds in his palm. On Friday, I mustered up courage to walk up to Ella during first recess to check in as I hadn’t yet given up hope on a friendship with her, or her nana’s celebrated cookies. I stalked her like a prey in the corridor, tailing her to her locker. I had told myself it was no big deal. Just following up on her offer, nothing extraordinary. For each step I came closer, the more nervous I felt. I wet my lips and cleared my throat to get her attention. She turned around, her smile fading as she saw it was me. I immediately felt my already fragile confidence crumble to dust as she gave me a weak, fake smile, but managed to croak out a feeble greeting.

“Hi, Ella. How are you?” I managed to plaster on an equally fake smile to try to hide the fact I already knew her nana’s cookies almost certainly wasn’t offered to me anymore.

“Fine thanks. Hey, er - I know you must have wondered why I haven’t texted you yet?”

“Yeah, I...”

“I totally understand. But see, my nana has become very sick, and I have to help out a lot more around home now when mom visits her at the retirement home every day. I am quite busy, so I don’t think I have the time to meet up to do something”, she instantly reels out before I had the time to finish my sentence.

“I hope you understand” She closed her locker with a slight bang, and I didn’t have the time to answer her before she ran off to the next class, leaving me standing in the corridor with an open mouth like a fish on dry land. Didn’t her nana live in Vietnam?

I know I shouldn’t feel sad about the fiasco with Ella, but I remember being especially low during the rest of that Friday. My only hope of saving the week was meeting up with Alex for our final day of caregiving of the school´s hamsters. We still didn’t talk that much, and I was still shy and awkward around him, but I enjoyed his company none the less. I walked to the storage room, where we usually met up to pick up food and the rest of the things we used as enrichment for the hamsters and wondered whether that ice cream-celebration had been serious or not, while waiting for Alex. He arrived shortly after I did, and we collected what we needed.

“Do you think they would like a weekend treat?” Alex held up an apple in one hand, and a bag of yoghurt treats in his other hand. “Which one should be give them?”

“Why not both?”, I suggested, and hoped the janitor would take as good care of the hamsters during the weekend, as I and Alex had during this week.

“Excellent idea!”

We set our way back to the hamsters and were almost done, when a clickety noise on the tile floor was heard. I was dazzled by the approaching caramel-haired Goddess, dressed in all pink, in front of me. It’s the golden bitch, from when I fell on my face that first day at school! She sashayed her way next to Alex and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She seemed to be ignoring the fact that I was also in the room.

“Alex. When are you done with these disgusting rats?”

“They aren’t rats. They’re actually hamsters”, I corrected her.

“Was I talking to you, Dumpster Diver?”

“Hey, Jessica. Stop it! You don’t need to be rude”, Alex interrupted.

“Whatever. Let’s go. You promised you’d take me to Three scoops after school.” She dragged him after her out of the room and gave me a dirty look over her shoulder. “I don’t want you hanging out with vermin. Or the rats.”

So, to conclude my awesome first week at school, I had an invitation to potentially being someone’s BFF, a vague ice cream-date with my crush, and had the honour to take care of two fluff-balls every day. In the end, all I had accomplished was a new hole in my jeans on my left knee, being stood up to potential friendship, and replaced as a participant to eat ice cream at Three scoops by the incredibly gorgeous Miss Espborg.

On the following Monday, I scurried to school with my bike in tow, the poor old thing had a punctured tire due to my childish game of trying to race the morning train on my way too school. A game I, of course, had lost, big time. As school was about to begin, I entered school grounds next to the parking lot with a sweaty forehead, untied shoelaces on my right foot and a strained expression on my face.

“Well, well, look who it is. The little vermin. I didn’t think it was possible, but your ugly outfits surpass every day.” I ignore the comment. Jessica and her mini-me’s had just arrived in their Quadricycles, and I envied their sweat-free foreheads.

“Poor thing. Nobody even likes her. Not even…her own kind.”, I heard her continue behind my back, as I rushed forward. ‘Ignore, ignore’, I thought as I tried to disregard of the knot in my stomach that had developed.

“If it weren’t for the fact that this sad little thing tried to manoeuvre her way in to steal my boyfriend, I would feel sorry for her.”

I frown at her words and spin around. “I did what?”

“Oh, you know what you attempted to do, but let’s be clear. Alex. Would. Never. Be. Interested. In. you. The sooner you realize that, the better. It’s just sad you think anyone could be interested in someone like you. Do you even know how pathetic you appear to everyone?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve only been taking care of our class pet, the same as Alex. Nothing more.”

“Sure, stick to that story. We all know you’ve been begging Alex about taking you out Friday, but he went with me, not you.”

Someone comes up to my side and placed an arm around my shoulder. “Come on Sam, you don’t need to take this crap from her. She’s just rude, come on, let’s go.” I looked up and saw Jonas has come to my aid. Which is very surprising as he has always kept a distance from me, just like the rest of the witch community. He leads me away from the bitch crew, who were all looking like they dropped their winning ticket to Euro Jackpot. And from that day on, we became best friends. Even Ella seemed to get along with me when we met up in groups, although I never got an explanation to her weird behaviour from that first week.

I will always think of that first meeting with Jonas, sticking up for me, as a fond memory. I couldn’t really believe why he’d make the effort, him being popular and good-looking, and me being…me. Even though Jonas’ mother Marie is my Godmother, I and Jonas rarely spent time together growing up, an outcome probably deriving from the fact that Marie is the High Priestess, a respectable position in the witch community, whereas my foster parents belong to a lower raking class of witches. Before my and Jonas’ friendship, I was only seeing occasional glances of Jonas swimming in their pool or playing videogames in their living room before and after my monthly tutor sessions with Marie.

As we walk along the sidewalk, I decide to switch topics from his date to a question I have had on my mind for years, but never asked him.

“Do you remember that day in school, when you came up to me just before first class a week into 7th grade and saved med from Jessica’s rage fit?”

“Hmm, you mean that time when she went on about you being after her mutt boyfriend?” I ignore the unpleasant jeer.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Do you remember it was the first time you actually talked to me, and that’s when we became friends?”

“Mhm.”

“What made you even approach me in the first place? I mean, we hadn’t really spent any time together before that, and you have plenty of other friends to hang out with, so why’d you want to talk to me all of a sudden?” I glance sideways at him, a little bit ashamed to look him in the eyes. It is no secret, although a bit embarrassing, that I had virtually no friends to talk about growing up, as I was always busy with chores at home and never being allowed free time for sports or other hobbies. It didn’t help I was wearing odd and poorly matching clothes either, nor the fact that I’m a quite shy person. I was always aware I was an odd bird and tried fitting in by not draw any attention to myself. It was also my go-to solution when experiencing the never-ending dissatisfaction of my foster parents, as laying low and staying silent was the best option to pour oil on troubled waters.

“Ummm…Don’t remember, really”, he says vaguely and scratches the back of his head. “Maybe…I…Just thought you’d make the best friend ever? And hey! I was right, wasn’t I?!” He gives me a bright smile, a little too bright in my eyes, to be genuine. ‘He really is a bad liar’, I thought too myself.

“Okay, so it has nothing to do with your mother feeling sorry for my non-existent social interactions, thus inclining you to befriend me, huh?”

“Okay, she might have encouraged me to try to become better acquainted to you, that’s true. But, it think that’s a good thing.” We have just arrived at the town square, our point of where we go in each direction. Jonas goes towards the villa area, whereas I continue to bike my way home towards the outskirts of town. He stops to look directly into my eyes. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had the chance to actually know what a fun, caring best friend you would be. I would be lesser off without you.” My cheeks heat up from his kind words, and his hand gently turn my face up to stop me from looking down in embarrassment. “It’s true. You don’t need to be embarrassed.” I’m a little uncomfortable with his sudden proximity and take a step backwards, smiling slightly.

“Thanks, Jonas. You’re not too bad yourself.” I suddenly scrutinize his hair and frown. “Although, I do think you really need to re-do your hair. I think I can detect the beginning of a cowlick emerging.”

“WHAT? Where?” His hands instantly come up to his head to identity any imperfections. I break out in a chuckle and shake my head.

“Honestly, Jonas, is there anything in the world that you care about more than your hair?”

“Yes.”, he sulks. He’s trill trying to catch his reflection in the display window, just in case there were any cowlicks to detect.

“And what would that be?” I arch a sarcastic eyebrow and cross my arms over my chest. He stops admiring himself in the window and gives me an indecipherable look, a look that I would interpret as a mix of desire and frustration.

“…You really want to have that conversation now? Here?” He’s suddenly turned serious. I feel as I have half-opened some sort of Pandora´s box just about now, and I have no intention of letting this conversation turn into a subject I don’t want to delve into. Not now, not ever.

“I… need to go.” I take the coward’s way out this sticky situation and just bolt out of the square, barely even registering my surroundings as I go.