5

I suppose I have delayed the inevitable as long as I can. I have to mentally return to today´s lunch and its unsettling events.

Following Jessica´s birthday a month ago, we’re now almost at this term´s end and summer break is rapidly approaching. I’m quite impressed by myself, I have only been obsessing about my “almost-kiss” with Alex a billion times or so, and I’ve still managed to study enough to get good grades for the final tests and completing all the due assignments, so I’m almost finished with everything I’ve had on my plate. I’ve (embarrassingly) been trying to sneak a glance of Alex whenever the opportunity presented itself, but he’d practically been glued to Jessica’s side ever since her birthday, making those moments rare, except for one weird moment.

A couple of days ago, I was at my locker, cleaning it out for summer break, when I all of a sudden got the impression someone was watching me. When I scanned the corridor, I spotted Alex moving towards me, looking determined. A piercing voice cried out behind me,

“Alex, my darling mate, there you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere, where have you been hiding all day?” Jessica pouted like an angry child and had crossed her arms across her chest, waiting for an explanation from Alex. I was scanning the corridor worryingly, trying to evaluate how many humans that were present to witness her little outburst. To use the term “mate” in front of regular people was perhaps not the most revealing thing one could do, but all supernatural creatures usually take very strict precaution to act “normal” in front of humans that aren’t aware of our existence. Of course, we have some humans knowing about us, but they were usually limited to people like partners, specific government officials and doctors.

Alex glanced over Jessica perfunctorily, but continued his way towards me, which infuriated her even more. She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor.

“Now Alex, get your ass over here and give your beloved Luna an explanation!” She had lowered her voice when pronouncing the word “Luna”, but this direct outburst of internal information in the public had finally gotten Alex’s attention. He’d shot her an annoyed stare, but went over to her immediately, where she greeted him with an unnecessary long kiss. Alex had flashed a dejected peek at me before walking off together with Jessica. With his girlfriend Jessica, I had to remind myself while I returned to my messy locker.

My good mood was heightened yesterday, when I received the good news that I got the summer job I had applied to, so I was definitely having (until today’s lunch) a good week! I got the text on recess that I was “welcome next Monday morning at 8:00 at the office”. I had squealed out loudly and jumped up and down, attracting looks from my classmates, who were undoubtedly wondering if I was finally having a breakdown right in the middle of the corridors at school. I had caught a glimpse of Alex also glancing at me from afar, before Jonas had picked me up and spun me around, joining my joyous celebration. Having a summer job would mean I would not be entirely broke for the summer months´, and it also meant I could possible save some money to buy a proper winter jacket next fall. I think I’ve spent enough days being embarrassed in my old worn-out winter jacket that is so short in the sleeves, it looks like it belongs to a 12-year-old – which was, incidentally, how old I was when I got the jacket in the first place. An added bonus to my new job is that I won’t be at my house all days long during summer, which will spare me of my foster parents’ constant disapproving comments and my ever increasingly workload.

My morning started off like it usually does, with waking up at 6:00 sharp. A quick shower, and then getting dressed. I was in a such good mood today, thanks to yesterday’s good news, that I picked out an especially thought-out outfit; my yellow sundress I wore at Jessica’s birthday party and a matching scarf that I tied around my wrist. I quickly put on my basic make-up, consisting of a discrete winged eyeliner, mascara, some blush, and pink-tinted lip balm. I tried to tame my wild hair with a large brush and some hair oil before I began with my morning chores, which today included doing the laundry, tidying up the kitchen and sweeping the downstairs rooms. My foster parents don’t let me use the vacuum, since it will wake them up too early. Usually, they get up around lunchtime, and they will not be thankful if they’re being woken up earlier than that. I practiced on Spanish words in my head as I swept my way through the rooms, confident I’d get a good grade on the test later this week. After my chores were done, I got a quick breakfast consisting of yoghurt and a glass of water. Putting on my thoroughly cleaned sneakers, making them look almost new, I got up on my loud bike and pedalled to school.

I got to school just in time to be received by an unwelcoming scene; Jessica and Alex on the parking lot, just arriving together in Jessica’s car, looking like they were in an intense argument. I tried to glide past them as anonymous as possible, but my stupid bike seemed to creak even louder than usual, making both Jessica and Alex look up at me when I was nowhere near past them. Alex tense look was replaced by a small smile in my direction, but all I noticed was Jessica, who was smiling contemptuous at me before she pushed Alex up to the back of her trunk and started kissing him fervently, like they were somewhere private. Alex looked startled by her actions, but thankfully I had now managed to leave them behind me, sparing me the rest of their intimate moment. I got to the parking area for bikes, parked, and then headed in for today´s first lesson.

Last lesson before lunch was gym class, where I narrowly escaped getting a black eye from a floorball ball, expertly shot by Sarah right at my face. I had barley put together the thought of the fact that I and Sarah was in the same team, when the ball was intercepted by Alex’s stick mere inches from my face. He gives me an amused grin and a nod up.

“You’re welcome, Princess”, he says, making my cheeks blush slightly, before shooting the ball straight in the net of my team’s goalpost which earns me an angry growl from Sarah.

“My Goddess, Sam. How did you not manage to receive that boll? My pass was flawless!” I was just about to retort back that her alleged pass was more of a physical attack, when our teacher, Annika, blew the whistle to indicate the game was over.

“Thanks a lot for that loss”, Sarah snarled and flicked her silky, dark ponytail right in my face.

Gym class ended just before lunch, and I was held up by Annika to help cleaning the area of all the equipment we had used for today´s lesson. After returning the zillionth foam rubber ball used at a game of dodgeball to the main equipment room, I finally picked up a stray floorball ball in the far end of the gym and headed to the smaller storage room in the back of the main one. I was certain I was the only one in the entire gym area, (even Annika had disappeared like a paycheck, probably due to the impending lunch break she didn’t want to miss a minute of) when I suddenly heard a commotion. I figured I was wrong about Annika leaving the gym and moved towards the noise, as it seemed to come from the smaller storage room to which the floorball balls belonged. I opened the door, expecting to see a middle aged, slightly obese woman with an old-fashioned sports outfit, consisting of a pair of violet and orange fleece pants that was worn way too high in the waist, with a matching t-shirt tucked in the pants for an extra unfashionable effect, rummaging around in the shelves.

“Hey, Annika, is this…?” I interrupted myself as I had swung open the door – now realizing it wasn’t Annika or her notorious pants at all in the room - and I swear my heart stopped beating for a second or two. The sight before me sent a jolt of disappointment through my body.

It was the nauseating scene of Alex and Sarah, with her long, tanned legs wrapped around Alex’s hips and her arms around his neck, while Alex’s hands were on her hips. If it weren’t for the compromising position they were in, I would’ve thought this was some sort of CPR session, as it looked like they were about to devour each other with their mouths at any moment. I froze, in what seemed like an eternity, but probably lasted only a fraction of a second, momentarily making me feel like a computer out of enough CPU to function properly. Both snap their heads in my direction at my intrusion, Jessica staring me down with a clenched jaw while the pale face and flickering gaze of Alex makes him simply appear…distressed? Ashamed? Surprised? I seem to detect a range of feelings emanating from him.

“Yes? Anything we can help you with?!” Sarah spits out with one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows raised, her golden eyes practically shooting daggers at me.

I swallow hard but try to regain some composure by finding myself rather quickly, like seeing two classmates (one of whom you have a thing for) playing doctor in a storage room isn’t odd in any way at all. I plaster on an indifferent face, show them the floorball ball.

“I’m supposed to return this. You are kinda in the way. Mind if you help me?” With a flick in my wrist, I toss the ball at the couple. Alex reflexively lets go of what he’s got in his hands - which happens to be Sarah, rendering her falling flat on her ass on the floor, accompanied with her shrieking out of surprise - and catches the ball with a slightly gaping jaw. Finally, a look that doesn’t suit him. I don’t waste a moment and turn on my heel to rush out of the damned room. I think I hear someone calling out to me, but I cannot pay attention to anything except sprinting on, as on automation. I have only one thought in my mind; to get the hell out of here! I reach the changing rooms in record speed and quickly wash up and change clothes, while I try to sort out my jumbled and disorganized thoughts at the same time. It’s not like Alex owes me or anything. I cannot really have any opinion on his philandering, except maybe morally question the aptness of kissing women who aren’t his girlfriend, who also happens to be best friends with the girl he was just making out with! But I still feel somewhat betrayed, as I obviously have imagined some sort of bond with him since Jessica’s birthday party, something that is evident to have been one-sided. Alex’s story about “finally living up to his father’s expectations” and all that was clearly bullshit number one as well, as he was kissing his girlfriend in the morning, and his girlfriend’s best friend at lunch. Who was he planning on kissing in the afternoon, I wonder?

“Men!” I exclaimed while shoving my wet towel unceremoniously into my bag. By the time I reached the library, – I decided to skip lunch today as my hunger diminished rapidly after seeing Alex and Sarah share air – by stomping angrily on my way there for being so illusioned, I had decided I should stop thinking about trivial and irrelevant things such as love, boys and relationships and instead concentrating on my long-term goals, which I’ve had in place for many years now. It’s reckless to jeopardize my entire future and to waste my energy and time on what? One person, who I don’t even know to begin with? I reiterate my plan over and over in my head, as to remind myself of that is truly important in life.

‘Finish secondary school with good grades, leave Solhall (and preferably the country) to finish a university degree at an esteemed school. Get an awesome job, collect a shit-load of money, buy a dog (or ten), happily ever after.’ Shouldn’t be too difficult to achieve, am I right?

I rummaged around in my now damp bag, trying to survey its contents to find what I am looking for, finally laying my fingers on its goal, a book summarizing general practice and culture in the Nordic witch communities. Even though I am quite awful at the practical part of being a witch, I try to weigh it up by taking the theoretical knowledge in the subject very seriously, which I do by conscientiously searching for study material regularly. I often opt for a more, shall I call it “indirect” way, of obtaining these study materials? The Sisterhood is regrettably sort of tight-fisted when it comes to sharing magical knowledge without a ‘guidance teacher’ – which means our parents and/or members from the Coven’s inner circle – consisting of Marie as the high priestess and twelve witches, chosen for their loyalty to the High Priestess and for their accomplishments. The care I receive from my indifferent foster parents is limited to a perfunctory one, and to compensate their non-existent learning, I have found it easiest to just take matters into my own hands and, from time to time, pick up a few books at the Coven’s library. To borrow, of course. I wouldn’t dream of keeping them more than necessary…Which could be years sometimes! The coven’s library is, in fact, out off limits if you’re not a member of the inner circle, but I take advantage of occasionally sneaking off to grab a few interesting books and texts when I meet up with Jonas, or when I have my lessons with Marie. I haven’t even told Jonas I have resorted to this as my substitute for a teacher. It’s embarrassing enough that my foster parents don’t even care for me, I don’t need Jonas to feel sorry for me, stemming from the fact that they don’t even take the time to give me a basic magical education.

I opened the timeworn leather-bound book, grateful that my careless packing after gym class hasn’t deteriorated its state and searched for my elephant-shaped silver-glittery bookmark, which is stuffed in between an elaborated chapter listing different metals and its distinct purposes in magical practices, and the subsequent chapter concerning essential herbs and plants. Like a lot of books I “borrow”, the contents is usually very old, but also has updated parts as the knowledge expands over the generations. I put the sparkling elephant to the side and lazily tied my hair up with a scrunchie in a sloppy bun to keep of any strands of strawberry blonde hair out of my face and began reading. I realized very early that a lot of the herbs and plants used in our culture, has an intoxication effect.

“Henbane. Foul smell. Take caution. All parts of the plant are deadly poisonous. The funnel-like flowers are very beautiful, displaying in pale yellow with a net of black-violet splashes that in the middle of the flower, forming a dark roundel. Henbane is a one- or two-year-old plant, ½- 1m tall with a hairy stalk. The whole plant is sticky and has an unpleasant odour. The leaves are used as a sleeping aid and anaesthetic in treating mental illness, stomach cramps and seasickness. The oil from the plant is used to treat otitis and the leaf decoction can be used as a love potion. It is frequently used in clairvoyant processes.”

I tooka pause to overcome the involuntary shivers that develops down my spine as I remember the nauseating and disagreeable narcotic, yet fishy smell with a hint of tobacco that is the properties of Henbane leaves. I once had the privilege to suffer a mucilaginous mouthful of the bitter and acrid plant, bruised and mixed with fish skin, when I had a severe ear inflammation. Although effective, why couldn’t my foster parents just have taken me to a regular doctor to get penicillin? No, let’s give the poor child something that tastes like old dumpster!

“Belladonna. Bitter smell. Flowers smell like unripe tomatoes. Take caution. All parts of the plant are deadly poisonous…

Aconite. Little, to no smell. Take caution. All parts of the plant are deadly poisonous…

Devil’s weed. Strong pungent odour. Take caution. All parts of the plant are deadly poisonous…”

Gee, is there no plant out there that is not poisonous? I scan the pages in search of something less murderous. Ah, here we go, Mandrake!

“Mandrake. Smells like wood and wet dirt. The herb has coarse, fleshy roots without a stem. A rosette of large leaves emerges from the root. The flowers are on short stalks, their colour can vary from white to dark blue. The plant blooms in spring and autumn. The fruit is a yellow berry, which acts as an aphrodisiac with a strengthening effect on one’s sexual drive. If Mandrake is used as an amulet, it gives the ability to arouse love. The root of the plant is considered indispensable in enchantments. Mandrake has been used a long time for medicinal purposes, including anaesthesia when undergoing surgery, reducing inflammation or tumours, and inducing sleep.”

‘Neat’, I think, before setting my eyes on the last paragraph.

“Take caution. All parts of the plant are deadly poisonous.”

“Oh, come on!”, I cried out in the library.