14

After this weekend in Paris, the return to daily life was a relief. I like spending time with Lola and Théo, but I don't feel out of place, it's their world. Mine consists of harassing bad payers, sleeping badly at night trying to find solutions to avoid bankruptcy and dreaming of finding my ex to castrate him, sending him to prison seems too sweet to me. Steve told me last night that I finally got into the anger phase and left the self-pity phase.

Thinking about my cousin's joint reminds me that they are off tonight and that I wouldn't eat with them. While I was moping at the idea of ​​eating more pasta tonight, Theo sent me a message to ask me if I agreed to receive him at my house tonight to discuss work. He told me that he had to arrive late at the station after visiting clients in the Paris region and that he could not receive me at his office. He offered to bring the meal as an apology. I broke down and asked him to go to fast food, my desire for fat, fries, soda and very sweet ice cream, was quite decisive.

At seven-thirty, I make up my mind, despite the message of apology for being late, I think Theo won't come and I go to take a shower before putting on my pajamas, so I might as well eat comfortably. As I go to take out a saucepan to boil some water to cook my pasta, I hear the bell ringing at my front door. I open the door, ready to moan at my neighbor when I see Theo proudly handing me a bag containing the order placed at the local fast food restaurant. Remembering my outfit and my wet hair, I blushed in embarrassment and let him in. He places the bag of food on my dining table and gives me a kiss before saying to me:

- I'm sorry for the delay, there were worries on worries during the trip. In any case, you did well to put yourself at ease. I'm almost two and a half hours late.

I still feel my cheeks burning and I invite him to settle down while I go get a vest to cover myself. When I come back, he has taken the two orders out on the table and separated them. He tells me he put the tubs of ice cream in the freezer for me to keep them cool. I settle into the chair next to him and start unpacking my order. I hasten to eat the still hot food and close my eyes with happiness.

- I did not think it was enough of a nugget to give as much pleasure to a woman, he mocks gently.

- It's just that I dream of eating for weeks. I've always forbidden myself to eat it when I'm alone so I take advantage of the moment.

He looks at me smiling, his eyes shine strangely, I have a funny feeling for a few moments before he changes the subject and tells me the adventures of his return. I have the impression of listening to a comedy sketch criticizing the SNCF. The atmosphere is relaxed, we have a great time.

When I bring the ice cream, retrieved from the freezer of my refrigerator, he asks me:

- Do you mind if we discuss now the progress of your work for the inauguration? As I arrived late, I have the impression of abusing your time. It's almost ten o'clock, he said, looking at his watch.

I did not see the time pass, I hand him his dessert and I settle back in my place and answer him:

- You're right, I'll tell you what I prepared. You told me you were leaving tomorrow, your train leaves in the morning?

- Late morning. That's why I dared to bother you at your place, I'm not coming home until Friday morning and I have plenty of appointments scheduled.

I get up to get my computer to show him what I have prepared. I open folder by folder to present my work to him.

- According to the date you gave me, I managed to find three caterers willing. I'm waiting for news of your schedule to fix a date so that you can test their proposals, especially since there is one coming from Nancy. Normally, Lola should send it to me at the end of next week, once Jules has returned from his travels.

Theo nods and asks me what's next.

- I saw with Lola for two room visits for the opening night that you are going to do. She told me that she will know very well what will be suitable and that it was more practical if it was her who was absent for the visit than one of you two.

Théo does not contradict me and I continue to present my work to him. He asks me questions when it seems important to him, makes suggestions on certain points. For the first time since my ex left me, stealing money from my business, I feel useful. I feel like I teamed up with Theo, I managed to target what he wanted.

When I finish my presentation, neither of us dares to say a word, as if we don't want to break the bubble that has just been created around us. Finally Theo took my hand in his before looking at me a little hesitantly.

“Alison, Lili,” he said quietly. Since I saw you again when I came to pick up my sister from your house, I have liked you very much. I tried to reason with myself, but I'm more and more attracted to you and not just your looks, I really like the woman you've become, combative, funny when you relax and let your guard down. We both get along well, I think we can live something good together. Would you accept me kissing you?

Deep down I expected what he was going to say to me, part of me rejoicing while another was scared, scared to relive the pain of betrayal. I can only stammer.

'I don't know.

This surprises him.

- You do not know what ? he asks me gently.

“I don't know if I'm ready. I am also attracted to you, but I am afraid of suffering again.

He approaches me, lays his head against mine and says:

"I'll do my best not to hurt you.

Moved by an impulse, I put my lips on his and we kiss languidly. After the brief moments of bliss I feel, my throat constricts and I pull away from him, my cheeks streaming with tears. Theo looks at me for a moment without understanding and I burst into tears, fear having taken over.

"Can't," I sobbed. I'm sorry, Theo, I can't.

Seeing his disappointed face makes my tears double and breaks my heart. He tries to resume a neutral expression before telling me kindly.

- It doesn't matter. I know you're not going through something easy right now, I wanted to be honest with you. Don't worry, I'll leave you alone, I won't embarrass you anymore.

He gets up, takes his things and gets ready to leave. Deep down I feel like I made a mistake letting him go, but the fear is too strong. He stops just before leaving and asks me:

"Can you keep this to yourself?" I don't want my sister to know.

I nod and he thanks me before leaving. I remain a moment without reaction while looking at the door. I end up going to bed to forget all that, my anxiety and what I feel for Theo. Luckily, I fall asleep quickly, unlike usual.