CHAPTER 1

MICHELE ANTUNES

- Now you're going to explain to me this engagement story that I don't know about, Michele. - that's the first thing I hear when I barely put my feet in the house.

I keep my back to mom who is sitting on the living room couch, and i let out an exhausted sigh as I close my eyes by depositing the key sauce on the sidephermer. Blessed time i went to invent another one of my amazing stories to try to solve a problem. I know it was for a good cause and I didn't think straight at the time, but... Now I'm completely lost with this last-minute crazy idea.

May God have mercy on my soul, for I know that Ms. Lena will not have an ounce of mercy until I answer questions about the matter until I have answered all doubts and exhausted the subject.

Good night, Mom. I turn around with a rehearsed smile on my face and face it with my eyes blinking in a sweet and delicate way.

You look crazy when you do these things, sweetie.

She laughs pointing at my face and I immediately close the countenance.

-I think it's kind of cute because I'm your mother and I pretend that it doesn't get any less scary every time you repeat it, but for the other slightly normal people in society it can seem a little scary.

She now laughs making me narrow my eyes and cross my arms as I walk towards her sitting next to her on the couch.

How are you feeling? -I ask myself to focus on the most important and I bring your head to my shoulders hugging her by the waist.

Like he's dying.

She jokes that I sing my tongue with irritation at the frivolous way in which she is dealing with such a serious matter.

Mom, i'm sorry. Can you stop God's sake. stop saying those things? You know I don't like that.

I exasperate myself.

-It's enough to have to digest this difficult news that fell on our heads like a bomb. Now we have to learn to deal with this disease until you heal...

I mumble while fungusing.

I'm so scared, Mom. It's a lot of pressure and...

I realize I no longer resoest myself when I feel my cheeks wet with tears.

All right, my sweetie. It's normal to feel that way.

She squeezes me in her arms with my body convulsing in a desperate cry.

-I was also quite shaken when I received the diagnosis of the doctor's hands, but then I ended up conforming to the situation.

- But I'm never going to settle for it, Mom! I can't lose her at all. You're all I've got in my life. I can't even imagine what it would be like for me if... if you'd leave me alone. I don't even want to imagine the possibility of living in a world without you, Mom.

Oh, my sweetie.

Mom strokes my hair with goodness using her fingertips like she did with me when I was little, and ran to her lap lacking in affection and attention.

You're never going to be alone. You have friends, you have the beautiful little girl Alice, all you really need is...

But they can't replace her. No one will ever be able to offer me the maternal love you give me.

Protest making a grimace of displeasure at the course of the conversation.

- As I was saying, all you need is a good husband.

She says by squeezing the tip of my nose between the forefinger and the thumb.

Did you ever stop to think that if you had built your own family, would you be the one to offer that kind of maternal love to my beautiful, hypothetical grandchildren?

She inquires with narrow eyes toward me and quickly deviates from the intensity of her gaze.

And of course with that you would also make this old lady very happy, to be able to meet the third generation of the family.

But Mom...

I mumble with the feeling that i'm increasingly being trapped against the wall.

Don't give me that but mommy thing. That crying little girl's voice only got in there when you were about ten years old, sweetie. That is, your time has passed. - she laughs giving two pats on my face.

Hey, Mom. What a heavy hand. - I scrub the place pretending I feel pain.

Stop being dramatic, daughter.

She says pushing me away from her body.

Now get your skinny ass off my couch and go wash that dirty carcass of sweat and dust from the street.

Mom, i'm sorry. So you offend me. I'm not that stinky, am I?

I ask suspiciously raising my arm to smell my scent.

- Yes, my mommy's sour sweet. Now get the hell out of here.

Mom amazes me with my hands and I rush up running away from your blows.

-... But don't forget we still have a pending matter to attend to, do you hear me, miss?

I hear your voice already in the distance as I undress and get in the bath next.

Of course I haven't forgotten, Mom. You wouldn't let the matter die anyway.

I respond with a humorous laugh no matter how much I feel pressured, knowing what awaits me when the time comes to sit down to talk about it.

Sweetie, your phone's ringing. -Mom screams a few minutes later and I rinse my face before answering her.

Pick up for me, please, Mom. It's in the inner pocket inside my bag.

Okay, I've found it.

I turn on the shower again and finish the bath calmly enjoying the feeling of hot water running through my body. The relief that cleaning brings me makes me feel less tense and lighter when I go out wrapped in a towel and walk towards the room.

Who was that?

I ask carefreely as I walk behind mom who heads for the kitchen.

- A woman named Josefina. She seemed like a pretty nice person to me.

She responds by looking for something inside the fridge.

Is that right?

I suddenly question interested and fish an apple in the fruit basket taking a bite then.

-Uhum...

And what did she want?

I ask curiously what my friend's future mother-in-law wants with me. I'm surprised that Ms. Josefina has my phone number and I can't even imagine how she must have gotten it.

She invited you to dinner with friends at her house and I said you were going.

Mom responds naturally and I choke in the middle of a bite.

What did you say?

Gaguejo nervously.

She even asked me to go too, but I had to say no because my state of health doesn't make it easy. I feel too tired to go to such events.

She goes on completely ignoring the question I've just asked.

It's going to be really good for you to go out and breathe in some new air, sweetie. I bet you're going to have a lot of fun.

She blinks a naughty eye and I snare my eyes starting to panic. What had Mom done?