Chp 8: What I read left me speechless....

"Ahhh...what are you doing in my room Aleister?",

It was 3 am and he just appeared out of nowhere. I was feeling thirsty so I went to fetch water and he suddenly came out of curtains, it scared the shit out of me.

He stood still and confused and I could see some sort of different playful looks on his face. I realized I was just in my panties and t-shirt. I felt more comfortable in this so I wore it. He stepped towards me without uncertainty, I've never seen this kind of look on his face before. And in another second, he pulled me closer to him and kissed me.... What?

ALEISTER kissed me? I pushed him away in a split second and he looked confused. I don't know what's going on in his mind right now but he looks disappointed and when he was trying to pull that idiotic move on me, he was happy and confident and now he's disappointed and hurt?

"What do you think you are doing?" I asked with fury rising in me. I always considered him like my brother.

I even remember the day in chemistry class, when Beth threw the paper ball to the teacher made from my page and blamed me and I was punished but Aleister protested and took the whole blame on him and saved my reputation in front of Mrs. Lindsey. And now, he does something stupid like that then obviously I'm going to get angry and maybe slap him.

"But you only asked for it", he replied confidently,

"When? I never told you to do something like that", I protested.

"But you are the one who threw this letter into my room", he showed me a piece of paper.

I never do something like this unless I'm drunk or Sleepwalking- which I never do and even if I'm drunk or sleepwalking, then how I'm going to write something? I don't know as I never have experienced this kind of situation.

"Let me see", without even thinking, I snatched the paper from his hand, and what I read left me speechless....

"I like you", he confessed with hollowness behind his eyes because he knows that his feelings are getting rejected.

His confession lays out everything and dumped every overwhelming feeling he had in my lap and I never had a chance to consider him in any non-platonic way.

Should I accept him? No, because I could never reciprocate his feelings.

"Aleister, I can't accept your feelings", I say looking down at the floor in nervousness.

He must have been hurt by the rejection, but that's not my fault. He already had a hint that I'd reject his love proposal and I think he was prepared for the outcome too.

After this rejection, I hope that we can go back to being comfortable but maybe we would tend out to be the same friends again.

I look up to see him being speechless or maybe he's unsure about what to explain in this situation, like me. Maybe he's introspecting himself, thinking of what he's been lacking or why he's rejected.

He will be licking his wounds for some days and I hope he will come back around soon when he is ready.

I can't help but think that it will be darn hard to be around him after knowing that he fancies me. I wonder if the wish of mine to keep friendship with him after ignoring his feelings for me is worth it, I know it's going to be hard for him to be around me now.

For now, I owe him a proper explanation.

"It's me, not you. After learning that I can't reciprocate your feelings, I don't want to keep you in false hopes of anything. It's just that I never saw you as anything else instead of a brother so, I'm sorry", I say in an apologetic tone.

I never had any ulterior motives of interaction with him, only friendship.

"I do care for you and I think you need to be honest with yourself. I know you never thought of me as something more than a friend but you do know that you like him. Stop lying to yourself", he said with a sigh.

"I--", he waved his hands stopping me in mid tracks.

"Just reflect upon your feelings", he said patting my back.

If anything, I do care for him too much that continuing friendship with him would be hard for me, unrequited love is like that.

It can be that our friendship is real but the unrequited love is too painful- after all, it's easy for me to move on after rejecting him because I never was in love with him, not even had a lesser attraction, but for him it's different.

"I think being friends with me would not be a good option for you. If I'm a good friend then I'd never want to be deliberately malicious keeping you close to me", I sigh.

If we stay friends, then it will make him think that maybe he has a chance in the future. Things can get ugly so a better option is to let him go for his own sake.

"I'm not that weak to let my feelings take over our friendship. I can bear your rejection but can't bear losing a friend like you", he argues. I hummed in response because I selfishly want him to be my friend.

"About the letter?", he asks.

"I'll solve this by tomorrow. Till then, keep quiet", I beg him. "This can ruin friendships", I say holding up a letter.

"Is this someone we know?", he asks and I nod in reply. I sighed because I told him that I'll solve this by tomorrow but I don't know what would I do.

I appreciated that he didn't inquire further and decided to trust me with the responsibility of solving the matter.

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