I'm ready to let go

Do you ever wonder what if stars shine out for you?

I did and it probably worked out for me. I was 13 when I showed symptoms of tumor and till 17 it became worse. Right now, floating on the surface of Hudson River and thinking about how fucking amazing this year had been for me, I think I’m ready to drown myself in.

Nothing remains constant… Family, friends, relationships, and even nature itself, everything changes. But when I open my eyes I look at the wonder of God, I look up to see stars. They are the only thing that remained constant in my life. The beautiful night sky with millions of stars, I’m in Galaxy. Soon in peace.

****

"Jennie.. Jennie... Wake up",

"Ugh.. who is shouting?", my subconscious murmured to me.

I opened my eyes, well pretty much tried to open my eyes, and saw some blur visions in front of me. Scrunching my nose, I rubbed my eyes like I've a new pair of eyeballs in my drawer and saw a clear vision of mom picking up my clothes for laundry. She is late as always. I was coming back to my senses while yawning.

"Get your ass up right now or you will miss your bus", she shouted while closing the door behind her. I rubbed my eyes again and stretched my hands. I think I'm going to be late again.

After a long argument with myself, I decided to take the shower.

As I turn on the hot water, I took off my shirt and bandages from my arms. Nothing serious, I just fell from stairs yesterday as my vision suddenly became blurred due to a strong headache. I'm trying to stay positive but I think it's back. I think my brain tumor is back. I'd some tests yesterday and I'm waiting for the results of the test. Sighing, I stepped into the shower and as the hot water fell on my skin, it calmed me. I scrubbed my body with soap and with this I was scrubbing all of the negative thoughts from my mind. After getting cleaned I wrapped myself with the towel, it was already 8. I'm definitely going to be late. That would be my 3 times a week. Mrs. White is going to rip me in half. I reminded myself that I'd to hurry. Wearing a floral top with white jeans, I went downstairs.

"Have breakfast", my mom said as she saw me.

"No mom I'm having sandwiches in my bag. Bye, Love you", saying this and waving to her a little I went out. Plastering a smile on my face, I started walking. I looked up at the blue sky. I breathe to fill my lungs and feel alive. Is my creator busy painting the world that he forgot to write a happy ending for me? Plugging earphones in my ears, I continued walking. My luck is with me, I didn't miss the bus.

Now I've to wait till I reach my destination- 'The Bradment High School', school? It's pretty much a private area owned by athletes and pretty faces. And I'm the new girl. Just started 3 months ago. Still new girl? Well, I earned this name from athletes. 'The new girl', It's obviously because I did something. Well-- I ended up fighting with the king of the school on my first day so things were messy.

I shifted from California due to family issues. One good thing was that my best friend was also staying in New York. It was like our reunion. In like 3 days or something, I became friends with her friends and now I'm in their group.

The first day of school was something else. I don't know how I ended up having rebellious relation with my new crush. It's kind of my fault too, I shouldn't have punched and kicked him in front of almost half campus.

"I wonder if your mother is a bitch like you.......", he whispered in my ear.

Ugh, I need to get this out of my head, it's been three months since that. For distraction, I joined the cheerleading team and it has been working great. He did make up to me for that shit but still, after I accepted his apology, we rarely talked. We are... Nothing.

Seriously, something's common in my life and my bed, they both are mess..........

~~~~~~

As expected, I'm late....

You can do it, Jennie. I know you are Jennie Stockins', you've been through worse. It's just Mrs. White.....,

That woman is so scary, I think her face is scary, but her eyes are pretty- hazel like honey and she doesn't know how to use them properly, she always gives death glare to students. That woman just doesn't know how to use her pretty eyes.

"May I come in, mam", I ask for her permission to enter the class with a polite tone. She doesn't like anyone barging in class, if you don't ask for permission, you are dead meat.

"Oh! what a pleasure to see you Ms. Stockins'. Let me guess, you missed the bus again due to your that old habit of sleeping late?", she's making fun of me, as usual,

"I'm extremely sorry mam, it won't happen again, I promise", I tried to sound promising but I failed,

"Well, it's the third time you are repeating your same old lines. Aren't you?", she crooked an eyebrow at me,

"Mmm..", I can't think of any excuse and I don't want to make fool of myself in front of my class so I just hummed a little in response,

"Your silence provides all answers I need. Detention after school for 2 hours. Now, my dear, you may take your seat", she said in a sarcastic tone.

What can I do? I can't argue as she's correct. Now, where should I seat?

"Psst.. Jennie come here", Oh, obviously, I'm sitting beside my best friend Naina. We've been best friends since kindergarten. I love her blonde hair and blue eyes. She moved to New York 2 years ago and that was the day when I cried so much that my eyes were puffy for the next few days. We didn't want to be separated as she lived next door to me in California but she had to move here after her dad passed away and her mom got a job that provides them a fortune. She used to visit me on holiday and stay with me for a few weeks. We were, are and hopefully will be best friends. She's a big mouth.

"So where have you been yesterday's night?", she whisper ask me.

"Me? Nowhere at home, obviously. I don't know how her husband would be tolerating her", I asked her changing the topic. She doesn't know about my tumor.

"Whom?", she asked with a lower tone,

"Mrs. White", I answered.

Oh no, now here comes our silent chuckle.

"Ms. Stockins' that's not how you behave when you are late at school three times a week", my beloved teacher scolded me.

"Crap", I cursed under my breath.

Ok, no talking.

~~~~~

Break time... Finally. I was sitting at our usual spot for lunch and was waiting for others to return with their food.

"Hey I got news for you", Naina said as she came walking towards the bench,

"What?", I asked.

"Ok so...TOM'S HAVING DETENTION TOO", she shouted as she sat on the bench.

"Not that much loud Nain", I scolded her as she got some eyes looking towards me.

"Ooo someone's crushing on Tom here", Brace teased me.

"Brooke, Shyna, Brace, and Aleister", our friend group is completed here with them.

"Whoa, you are calling out our names like we have come here from our graveyards", Aleister teased me.

"Aleister, don't you think that we should do something for our Jen", Brace said looking towards others. God! Brace always tries to sail someone's ship and yet he never had a girlfriend before, even though he's cute. He has black hair with aqua blue eyes. He's cute as well as sexy.

"Guys stop your matchmaking bureau", I scolded them in annoyance.

"Tom is a jerk. I think you should stay away from him", Aleister said taking my side as he sat beside me.

"Don't listen to what he's saying. He's a nun. And besides, he made up for what he did and you still like him right?", Brace asked

"I--", I couldn't answer as I'm not sure if I still like him.

"Cool down Jen, just tell me are you fine. I mean are things cool between you both?" Naina asked.

"Things are fine but still I don't know", I replied with a frown.

"You are probably overthinking here and the first meeting of you two was awful, I know. Aleister saved that poor guy from your anger", Brace said making air quotes,

"I can come with you and spend two hours in detention", Naina suggested.

"God, Nain you are a lifesaver", I said, hugging her.

"Only if you make a cute face for me", she said.

I raised my both hands above my head, curled my fingers making ears, and pouted.

"Will this do?", I asked her. She showed a thumbs up to me.

"Cute", saying this Aleister took a picture of mine.

"Send me that picture", I ask him.

"Jennie I want you to make a pact with me", Brace said. I raised my eyebrows questioning his pact.

"If in next 15 years we don't get married which you won't then we will marry each other", he said making a pout face.

"Why me though?", I asked him.

"Because no guy is blind to marry you and I don't think anyone will marry me either", he said munching on his cheeseburger.

"That was hurtful. I have a better idea, if after 15 years, we are still single then we can kill each other", I said showing him thumbs up. Hearing this, he made a straight face.

"Shyna--", before he can say anything else, Shyna said, "No",

"That was an expected answer from my girl dash friend", Brace states making us laugh.

"Not funny", Shyna rolled her eyes at him.

I don't know what good deeds have I done to get these idiots in my life. I spent just a few months with them and yet we have become so much close.

So to detention now......

Tom, he's so different and attractive. He's soft-hearted, even though he acts tough, that's why I like him. He's so tall and sexy, with brown eyes and light brownish curly hair. He's a sportsperson, he plays football- The captain of the team. Obviously, crush-at-first-sight. After that shit, I thought that he's nothing more than arrogance and pride but he's different........ And this tattoo that I've on my hand--

Stop overthinking, my subconscious scolded me.

~~~~~

"Jennie, we are here", Naina informed me.

Oh yes, wait Mr. Brown is in charge? I'm dead. It's not like I'm on his black list but it was just yesterday that I left an impression on him. Me and Shyna, while returning from computer lab were having some weird kind of energy so we started a game in which we had to imitate laughs and when I started imitating Brace's laughter, Mr. Brown passed by and heard it. He taunted me, "Why are you laughing like a villain in the movie?"

I hope that he forgot that. It's not like him to forget something this easily, his memory is very sharp. He always likes to wear a black shirt with a white tie and well-polished shoes. Always a prim and proper person. He has a habit of humiliating students in front of the class.

"Oh see students who's here to accompany you, Ms. Stockins' the one and only villain we have", he taunted me again. I hate this, now everyone in the room is looking at me. Tom, well he seemed confused. Now that we are here, I want these 2 hours to get over soon.

I hope we don't get any work to do here as I don't want to get stuck in JUMANJI......

****