Chapter 5

Beatriz Del Valle POV

Days have passed. Before, Jo and I used to be together most of the time, but it suddenly changed when Marci came. She's always busy. In fact, we no longer talk to each other. We no longer go to school together or what. Everytime I'm trying to pick her up or accompany her, she will refuse because she does not want to disturb me. She always says to me that she can handle herself. I can only talk to her during trainings but it's not the same as before. We'll just greet each other during trainings. That's why I always want to go to our training just to get along and bond with her even for a short time. I really miss her so bad even if it seems like she's ignoring me intentionally.

"Hi Jianna!" Jo greeted our teammate Jianna the moment she arrived here in the gym.

I look at Jo and she's refusing to look at me.

"Hi Jo! Am I really the only one you'll greet?" Jianna asked while looking at me.

"Oh... Hi Bei!" Jo said and gave me a forced smile. She sat beside Jia. She's now infront of me.

I just looked at her. What seems to be her problem? Are we not friends anymore for her to treat me like this? Why is she ignoring me? I'm confused of the way she acts towards me. As far as I can remember, I haven't done anything that will surely make her mad.

"Girls wait... I got a phone call from Aisa." Said Jia and walk away from us.

I'm waiting for Johana to look at me or even talk to me. But she's busy with her phone. So, I decided to make the first move.

"Bub..."

She looked at me...

"I miss you, Bub." I told her.

"Uh... huh?" Seems like she didn't hear what I said. Tss. It was very hard for me to tell her that yet she didn't hear it? Tsk!

"I said I miss you. So much, Bub." I repeat.

She looked away trying to ignore what I said. And suddenly Jianna shouted,

"Training's cancelled! Coach Fai won't be able to come here as per Aisa." Said Jianna. Our teammates screamed in happiness since they can now rest or roam around with their friends...

I saw Johana walked away. I sighed. This is not what I want... I'm really bothered by her actions towards me. If she's mad at me, she should at least tell me because we're best friends!

She should tell me what's bothering her. And since I cannot control myself and I want us to be okay again. I followed her.

"Jo!" I called her.

She looked at me. "Bei..."

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"Sure... about what?" She asked.

"I mean.... just the two of us." I said when I saw Marci walking towards us.

I saw Johana smiled the moment she saw Marci and immediately face me. "I'm sorry, Bea. We still have some important things to do for our project."

"Please, Bub?"

"Hi Jo! Let's go?" Marci butt in.

I swear, I really want to punch this guy. Can't she see Jo and I are talking? What a rude!

"Excuse me? Can't you see we're talking?" I told him.

"Woah! Chill, Bea. It seems to me that Johana is not interested on what you're saying." Marci smirked.

"Interested or not, we're still talking. Give us some privacy and don't just butt in." I frowned.

"Chill, Bei. Go, talk to her."

"Yes. WE will talk TOGETHER. Just the TWO of us. Please leave." I said trying to make myself calm as much as I can.

"We have to go somewhere, Bea. Why don't you just say it right here, right now? Why do you like it to be in private huh? What are you hiding? Do you have a surprise date for Johana? Are you planning to confess your---"

"Marci please stop. Both of you please..." I saw Johana's trying to stay calm as well.

I controlled my temper the moment Johana spoke. I just don't want to fight with Marci but he's just too rude. He doesn't know how to respect a girl. I really want to slap him. I'm so mad right now but I should control it for Johana. I don't know what is he talking about. Does he know a thing about how I feel for Johana? Why is he saying that?

"Bea, let's just talk about it later... Marci, let's go." Johana said. I saw Marci smirked.

"Oh. Wow. Is that so, Jo? You'll just leave me like this? We'll talk about it later? Aren't you always tired when you go home? I don't understand, Jo. I really don't understand you. I just want us to talk right now to know what's your problem since you're always ignoring me. Yet you chose to be with him? Huh! I care about our friendship... but you! Do you really care about our friendship huh?" I stopped talking when I felt my cheeks wet.

Damn it. I was crying. It was the first time I cried in front of other people. I don't want to cry because I feel so weak when people saw me crying but I just can't help it... I'm so hurt.

"Bea... I'm sorry but this is important. We have to finish our project. Please don't cry." Jo said.

That's it Bea. You're not her priority. I saw Jo's worried about me, I just hope it's real.

"Let's go Johana." Said Marci and walked away with Jo while Marci's holding her hand.

I saw Johana looked at me while walking away. I just stared at their hands. Before, that was me. I was the one who's holding her hand...

I went to the mall out of nowhere... I just want to forget what happened earlier.

"Why are you alone here, Ms. Del Valle?" I looked around and my eyes widened when I saw Madeline.

"Mads!" I hugged her instantly the moment I saw her.

"Bei, let go... they're looking at us." Madeline said. I look around and she's right. So I let go of the hug and looked at her. Can't believe she's back and I still can't believe that she still hate clingy people in public places haha!

"So? I missed you very much!"

"I missed you too! Thought you won't remember me since you're always with Jo." She teased.

"You jealous?" I joked.

"Yup, I still like you, Bei."

My eyes widened. "What?"

"Just kidding, Bei! Anyway why are you alone here? Where's Jo?"

"She's not with me... besides she's ignoring me."

She just looked at me. I don't know but I want to tell her about how I feel for Jo. I know it's insensitive to say it to Madeline but I really want someone to talk to about this.

"Mads... I... I like---"

"Jo." She said.

"You knew?"

She nodded. "It's obvious, Bea."

"What? I swear! I'm doing my best to hide it!"

She laughed. "Always remember this Bea... the more you hide your feelings, the more it shows."

"If that so... does Johana know it too? Is that the reason why she's ignoring me?" Damn... never knew it will hurt so bad.

"Maybe she's just busy."

"Busy? She's busy everyday? She was busy way back then yet she always finds time for me. But now, it's so much different."

"I don't know, Bei... I think it's much better if both of you will talk about it."

"I don't think she wants to talk about us." I told Madeline.

Madeline does not want to see me sad. So she decided to tell stories about what happened to her in Davao when she went home. I suddenly forgot what happened earlier because of her. She made me feel better by making me laugh. Until we decided to go to the arcade so we can bond more.

Madeline told me that she arrived here in Manila last night. She wanted to surprise the team but she saw me awhile ago. I don't know but I'm really grateful that she's here. Well, Madeline is always here for me everytime I need someone to talk to... I don't know if it's just coincidence or what. It seems like she knows it whenever I need her.

We played games inside the arcade. I just found myself staring at Madeline... I'm still wondering why she's prone to heartaches. She's a good person. She does not deserve all the pain I caused her. If only I can teach my heart to love her... I will.

"Do you really like Jo? Seems like you're more into me." Said Madeline when she saw me staring at her. I laughed at her.

"Buy some more token, Bei. We'll play more." She said while focusing on her game.

I nodded and walked towards the token station but as I was walking, I bumped into someone.

"Sorry."

Shit. That voice. I already knew who was it.

"B-Bea?"

I was surprised to see her here. I thought she's doing some kind of an important project?

"So you're busy staying here? Johana, just want you to know that this place has noises that might interrupt your important project. Hope you can focus doing the project here." I said sarcastically.

I am very disappointed. I don't think she deserves the love I have for her... Why did she have to lie?

I instantly walked away and go back to Madeline. I need Madeline to mend my heart...

"Bei? What happened? Why are you crying?" Madeline asked when she saw me.

"Mads... it hurts like hell." I told her while pointing at my chest.

"Bea... once you allow yourself to fall inlove... you should expect that it will not be easy. It will definitely hurt you."

"Of all people... Why did I fell for Johana?" I asked.

"It's a huge why, Bea. Why don't you just love me back? Why do you keep on forcing yourself to Johana? I love you but the feeling is not mutual. I should have loved someone else... but I can't. Why? That's because we cannot teach ourselves who to love. We can't force ourselves loving someone we know we don't love."

"Madeline... maybe I can love you back... maybe I should try loving you..." I told her.

I don't know what I'm saying but all I want right now is to get rid of this pain.

Madeline smiled at me yet it did not reach her eyes. "Bea... please think first before making a decision. Don't let your emotions decide for you... You have to talk to Johana first."

"Bea..." I turned around and saw Johana walking towards us.

"I gotta go... take care, Bea." Said Madeline and walked away. She tapped Johana's shoulder.

I know for the nth time, I hurt Madeline again. I was so stupid!

"Bub..."

I came back to my senses when Johana called me that endearment again. I missed her so much.

"I'm sorry, Bea. I know I was too stupid to ignore you, I know you're mad..."

"Let's not talk here, Jo."

We went to the car park for us to have some privacy and it's not that noisy here.

"Bub... I'm really sorry. I don't have the intention to lie to you... It was just that Marci fooled me that we have a groupwork today but truth is he just wants to spend time with me. I'm really sorry."

"Why are you ignoring me, Johana?" I asked.

She looked down... "Marci told me something about you."

"Look at me, Jo... what was it?"

She looked at me with a teary-eyed. "He... He told me that you like me more than just a friend."

Damn it! F*ck that guy! But... I was hurt more to the fact that Johana ignored me because of that. Does that mean I got no chance on her? Double-triple kill for today huh.

"But... I don't believe him... I know it was impossible for you to like someone like me. I know that I'm just a friend to you... besides I don't think I fit in your standards. I--I know you like Madeline and you're just hiding it. I'm really sorry Bea if I ignored you long enough to damage our friendship. I just thought that you would make an effort to reach out to me once you knew that we're not okay... but it did not happen. You just let me walk away from you... and I-- I think that's a sign that Marci's wrong." she said trying not to cry. But I can now see crystals in her eyes... Johana, why are you making it hard for me? I hate seeing you like that.

I am so confused. I am so puzzled. Why do I feel like she's hurting while saying those words? I don't like Madeline... Johana is all I want but she's too numb to feel it.

"Jo... I have something to tell you."

I know what I'm about to do can harm us both. But I swear, I don't want to keep it anymore. I feel like my heart will explode if I remained silent about how I feel about her. It's now or never.

"What... What is it, Bea?"

I took a deep breath and looked at her intently.

"Jo... Marci's right... I like you."