5

IVANA POINT OF VIEW...

I know I did something wrong but I can't control myself every time my phobia attacks.

That is one of the major attacks that is happening to me.

Mostly I was embarrassed, when I was rejected and it was worse when I cried because I would disappear there.

When I took the medication prescribed by my psychiatrist every time my phobia attacked I breathed a sigh of relief.

I feel better.

After that I meditated to relax my brain.

Only now did my phobia attack again because just now another man approached me again.

Because most of those like me consider those who approach me avoid immediately because of my ugliness.

And surprisingly he was the only one who endured. But I can't explain why I wasn't happy to think that I would avoid it especially because of what he did.

The next day I prepared early for breakfast at the canteen and after that I went straight to class.

"How are you there princess?" Mommy asked me on the phone.

"I'm okay mommy, you look stressed you are obvious in your voice" I replied.

I miss them but I promise myself to make them proud.

"Yes, there is a bit of a problem with the business princess but your daddy and I can handle that" She laughs so my anxiety for them is somewhat reduced.

"Just take care of yourself mommy and tell that also to daddy, you don't always have to think about business give time to yourself I'm sure your staffs can handle it" I said

"Of course we will, stay safe there and we love you."

"I love you both mommy and daddy." And we ended up the call.

When I got to the room, sir said he would not come in so I left and went straight to the soccer field.

Close to the soccer field are benches sheltered by mahogany trees.

The wind and the atmosphere is really refreshing so I just sat there and put on my headphones and played one of my favorite the script songs.

Not far away I noticed someone approaching my seat.

His gait and posture are familiar but I can't imagine who.

When he got close to me my eyes widened when I saw Evren's appearance.

He is wearing a casual cloth but not like the shape he used to be.

He wears a long sleeve v neck sweater and under it is a tie, he's bottom is a jeans and a casual loafer.

His hair is better, her dog tag and ear piercing are gone.

I can't help but laugh at the way he looks.

It's not that it doesn't matter to him but he doesn't seem to be used to it and you can really laugh because he looks ignorant.

"You're funny. Do you know how long I chose this dress just to make me look decent." He said.

"Don't worry you still don't look" And I laughed again.

He also laughed and sat down next to me.

"If I only knew how to laugh at you I wouldn't have made the effort" I shook my head and laughed softly.

"Who told you to wear that?" I asked

"I thought you hate bad boys so I thought if I don't look like a bad boy you won't tease me anymore." I lost my smile at what he said.

"Evren Wilson... I don't know what you need and why you are forcing me to come to you, as far as I know I have no effect on your career or anything so why are you so close?" I asked him frankly.

"I don't need Ivana Evans, I sincere here ... I really want to be friends with you." He replied.

I don’t know why he insists.

I did not answer him and just stood up and said goodbye to him.

"I'll go somewhere else first" Then I walked over there.

A few days passed and still, he always teased me and it was also surprising that I was happy to talk to him.

During his two months of carving, he did not return to his former appearance.

Shy and I were in the coffee shop talking.

"Looks like you and Evren will be closer ah" I was shaken by what she said.

"He's just teasing me" I replied.

"You know what girl, Evren is really a great person ... It does not mean that you and Evren will be close and you will have an emotional attachment to him. You can treat him as a friend" Shy said.

"Then maybe the psychiatrist also said that one thing that will help your phobia is to open your heart, if you open it and deal with your fear, your definitely overcome that ... Not all men are like that idiot. so try to give a chance to other "She said.

Sophie is really a good and understanding friend and best adviser for me.

She is always there for me.

"You think?" I asked her.

"Of course just try, after all you also have therapies that you do."

I nodded "Yeah maybe he slept too so I can talk to men. It used to be the last fast food crew to talk to men" I laughed.

To be continued...