Chapter # 6

Ester, Am I awake for you or I couldn't sleep because of you?

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"You ready?" I asked Ester who was leaning on the wall, looking at her portrait in our room, the picture I took when we divorced. That forced smile and tears, that dress I never let her wear but still she looks so angelic in it.

She turned to me and smiled, "Yeah." I wrapped my arms around her shoulder and smiled at her.

"Let's go."

"To make new memories." She added.

"Better than before." She just grinned and nodded.

We started our drive. It was silent, Ester was smiling as her smiles calmed my heart. We were driving for hours so I thought we should rest somewhere as I asked, "Are you hungry, Ester?" No reply came. I spared a glance at her and saw her sleeping while leaning on the window. I chuckled when I saw her. I stopped the car and took a picture of her. I do that from time to time, taking her picture on random moments without her being aware of it.

We reached our place as I turned to look at Ester who was sleeping. I shook her shoulder and called her, "Ester, wake up, we are here." I said softly, She didn't even flinch, I sighed and got out and picked her up like bridal style and took her inside.

I stood in the hall, thinking where should I take her. To the room I didn't even allow her to enter; my room or perhaps at the room I left her. My heart clenched as I took her to my room. I placed her on the bed gently. I bend on the ground and brushed hairs falling on her face behind her ears. I leaned in close to her face. Her breath hit my face, her eyes were closed. She was lost in a lull. A smile crept upon my lips when I looked at her sleeping peacefully. I never want this peace to be away from me. I held her wrist and caressed her cuts and leaned maybe too close to her face with my fingers tracing the side of her face.

Her eyes slowly opened, she gasped when she saw me that close to her face. She quickly sat up and held the covers close to her chest, "D-Desmond.. I-I Know it's our honeymoon but p-please g-give me some time." She stuttered, afraid. I felt guilt and pulled back.

"I know Ester, please don't be afraid, it's okay." I assured her. She timidly nodded and hugged her knees close to her chest. I brought my hand close to her face and caressed it, "There's nothing to be afraid of, not anymore." I said softly. "I know.. but I don't know why. I can't do it. Even if I want to, I can't." She whispered sadly. I shifted close and cupped her cheek, "Hey, it's okay. We have the rest of our life for this. No need to rush things." I smiled. She passed me a faint smile and moved close to me. "Promise me you'll never change and go back to your old self. Be like this, always." She said desperately, hiding her face in my chest. "I promise." I promised, kissing her hand.

We remained like this, I rubbed her back and kissed her head. She held me close, trying to calm herself. I never knew my touch scared her that much, that she will be petrified by just a little intimacy, that she cannot even relax in my presence.

I slowly pulled away and asked, "You hungry?" She nodded and sat back. "I'll cook something for you," I smiled. She nodded again and said, "I'll freshen up." I stood up, she looked around the room. "Your room." She mumbled. "Our room." I corrected her. She blushed and looked away.

I cooked something for us and we ate in silence and since it was evening and we were tired we both slept holding each other close.

The next morning, I was having my tea while using my phone, "Desmond." Ester called me.

"Can I go out?" She asked expectantly. "No." I said taking a sip of my drink. "Why?" She frowned. "You won't go anywhere alone." I said, without looking at her. She stood up and walked to me. "Then we both will go." She said with a smile. "No." I said. She took my phone away from me as I finally looked at her with my usual bored look. "Come on, Desmond." She whined. "Please." She said, sweetly. I finally gave her my full attention and turned to her. I smirked and stood up.

"And give me a reason to go?" I asked, taking a step towards her.

"Uh.. because I am going too.." She said nervously taking a step back,

"Oh is that so?" I asked, coming close to her. "You coming or not?" She tried to say firmly but failed. I laughed and hugged her, "Okay, okay, I am coming." I said. She flushed and giggled. I kissed her head.

***

It's been a few hours and I felt bored. But She was so enthusiastic about it. All I can do is to smile whenever she shows me a plant. I have no interest in the things around me but she seemed to love them more than herself. We were roaming here and there as I remember how I took her back with me. How scared I was when she didn't return home.

I looked around and saw a flower on a tree. She was walking but I stopped and plucked it out. As she kept on talking about nature and stuff I walked behind her and called her, "Ester." She turned to me and looked at me. My heart felt elated to see her. I smiled widely and asked her, "Close your eyes." She laughed nervously and closed her eyes. I tugged the flower behind her ear and told her to open her eyes.

"You look so beautiful." I said. She blushed furiously and mumbled a 'thank you'. I loved it how she became timid in just a matter of seconds. We took a few pictures and continued to walk.

"And I lost my track and sat under a tree waiting- OW!" Ester stumbled upon the twing and fell. I couldn't help to laugh at her clumsiness. "Ouch!" She said, frowning and rubbing her foot. I offered her my hand and pulled her up. She brushed the soil off from her dress and puffed. A scratch appeared on her delicate leg. I bent on my knees and held her leg. She let out a squeak and pulled back. I pointed at her calf and she bit her lips and didn't move. I moved close and wrapped my handkerchief around her calf. "Can you walk?" I Asked.

"Yeah.. It's just a scratch. It doesn't even hurt." She shrugged her shoulders.

"It seems like a scratch compared to others.'' I mumbled and stood up. She kept looking down and replied to the sentence I spoke without any intent to offend her, "You also tried to hurt yourself more than me," She whispered. I just looked at her and remained silent.

"Just throw some tantrums and there you go, you have her" A voice echoed in my mind, trying to take over my senses but somehow I managed to keep my cool. "You love her, You don't want to hurt her anymore. Don't lose your track, Desmond." I scold myself to not turn cold.