Chapter # 4

Ester, My heart has found a home, if you ever read this, please realize how much I love you. I beg you, don't leave me even after knowing everything.

***

Stressed out, I couldn't think straight. A strange fear is building inside of me which is affecting my mind too much, The thought of losing Ester is unbearable. I don't want to neglect her anymore, I want acceptance. I can feel it under my fingernails that the upcoming affliction is more feiry than I could have imagined but somewhere in my heart I felt somehow relieved that Ester is by my side. I truly wish that she won't leave me. I don't want her to be upset anymore but I also have to tell her that Henry is after me and want to take her away from me. I want to tell her why I hit her, Why I hurt her even if I don't want it. I can't put blame on anyone, What I have done is my fault and what happened to Ester is my fault and doesn't matter who was behind this, I am the one who did this and it's my fault.

"Just like what happened to Grace?" My mind mocked me. That's something that never fails to terrorize me and make me remember that I am some insensible bastard who can't love anyone because my love can be terminal. I am stuck in a very undesirable situation. I sighed deeply and leaned back on my seat. I closed my eyes, deep in thoughts, thinking of a way to prevail this.

The moment, I felt slightly relaxed, my phone rang and it was none other than Henry. I scoffed and picked the call and asked rudely,

"What do you want!?"

"Easy Desmond.. Who knows someone will talk to you in the same tone as well." He said, scornfully.

"Speak up, damn it!" I said exasperated, rubbing my temples.

"Go home Desmond, you might see a surprise." He said. I can even feel the evilness from his voice. A shiver evoked from me and went down my spine.

"What have you done this time?" I asked, trying not to show that my heart skipped a beat in fright.

"There's a surprise waiting for you.. Ester might not like it, to know what her husband is doing behind her back." He said and cut the call. I grit my teeth and went straight home in worry, cursing loudly at this tribulation. I tremble just at the thought of what he has done this time. I am going to tell Ester everything or else he would give her something fake information about me. If I don't tell her, she would be devastated to know it from somewhere else.

My mind clouded with anxiety and dread, I guped hard and rushed inside. My eyes searched for Ester. My breath turned into a pant.

"Lilly!" I called our head maid.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Where is Ester?"

I asked, Looking here and there.

"She is on the rooftop." I quickly ran to the rooftop and saw Ester looking down. She was leaning on the wall, hands behind her back, holding an envelope in her hand. I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt petrified of thinking what might be in here. She was looking down, trying not to cry. Her eyes were slightly devoid but she seemed sad.

"Ester.." I called her in a whisper. She slowly lifted her gaze and looked at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, breathless. She forced a smile and nodded.

"Please don't lie Ester." I said, taking a step closer. Her smile faded as she looked down and began to say in a low tone, "I don't want to cry anymore Desmond.. If I don't say anything that doesn't mean I don't feel that it doesn't affect me. But Desmond, it's rather disturbing that you.." My breath caught up in my throat, she couldn't meet my gaze, she was stressed, my heart felt like it will leap out my chest in horror about what she has come to know. She nibble on her bottom lip and handed me the envelope.

"You left me speechless Desmond." She told me, on the verge of crying. I hesitantly took the envelope and looked what's inside it. My eyes widened when I saw those leaked pictures of Ester back in highschool. I couldn't believe what I am seeing. My heart clenched when I saw it. My lips began to quiver, sweat formed over my forehead, I looked at Ester who was looking at me, waiting to give me some explanation.

"Why do you want to bring up something that happened years ago? I know I am not strong enough to overcome my past. I am still hung up on that and let myself be turned into an introvert. I know I am weak but please don't make my scars sting using this." She said in a croaked voice and turned her head away, she hugged her sides, swallowing hard not to cry,

"I know I am pathetic but don't use it against me Desmond. My scar is my biggest insecurity because of you, don't make fun of it. It hurts. Do you like looking at it that much?" her voice was turned into a whisper. A tear rolled on her cheeks. I took a step towards her but she took a step back.

"Ester listen to me." She sniffed and didn't turned.

"Why? Is it that hideous that you still have those pictures.. do you like digging old scars back?"

She continued.

"Ester, It's not what you think.." I tried to explain.

"Then what is it? You have those pictures that haunt me for years in your studies!" She finally burst into tears.

"Ester!" I called her loudly, to make her listen that it's not my fault.

"Don't yell! I have bear your terrors once Desmond, I won't do it again. Don't raise your voice against me." She said, wiping her tears and giving me a seething look and walking away.

I exhaled, feeling guilty. My heart felt constricted, I felt bad.

I walked after Ester, trying to tell her that it's not me.

"Ester, Listen Please. I promise it's not me." I held her wrist. She winched and stopped in her tracks when I held her wrist.

"Ester, It's not me. I don't know who send this. I am so sorry I don't want to make you cry. Please forgive me, I will find who did this. I won't let your old scars be dug out, I promise. But I swear I am not the one who had this with me. Heck, I haven't even saw your picture back then; then why would I see it now? Please don't cry. I don't want you to cry, it hurts to see your tears. Please... And I am sorry for speaking loudly, I won't do it again." I said, desperately, hurriedly. She pressed her teeth against themselves and lowered her head. She sniffed and wiped her tears again with her free hand.

"Please let go of my hand Desmond, it hurts." She said and I quickly let go of her hand, My gaze travelled down to her hand, her long sleeves moved upwards, I saw some kind of mark on her hand. I held her hand and asked, softly, "Please forgive me."