4

Cassandra John

I was so ashamed of this scene. I was afraid she would recognize me. I tried to remain impassive but deep inside I was shaking. It's a job like any other, but after his comment this morning I was afraid to give him one more reason to think that I didn't belong in a medical room. So I started to pray in my heart hoping that she could not recognize me.

You have probably understood that the person I saw is none other than Doctor FOSTER himself, who happens to be my cardiology professor for the session. She was having dinner with friends of hers.

Finally noticing the damage I've caused, I apologized, hoping to make up for my blunder. They just told me not to worry about it, that it can happen to anyone and that I should be more careful next time. They all seemed to understand the situation. Well, everyone except her of course. She didn't say a word and just stared at me. His gaze was indecipherable enough to increase my anxiety. If she recognized me? I do not know.

It's not that I'm ashamed of my position or my job. No way. It's just that I've always been afraid of the way others look at my choice of study. Or maybe it is, in fact. I rushed into the kitchen to ask Jeannine for help.

Me (putting down the tray with the leftovers I brought back): Jeannine please help me.

Jeannine (coming towards me): Cassie what to do?

Me: can you serve table 7 for me please? Something crazy just happened to me with some clients over there.

Jeannine: Did they disrespect you?

Me (looking for something to clean): no, quite the contrary. It was I who was clumsy. I accidentally dropped their dishes.

She just gave me a "hmmm" then went out to do the service for me. A few minutes later she comes back and says to me:

Jeannine (gesticulating): you owe me a casserole.

I know. You're going to talk to me about it until, by survival instinct, my ears are going to close so as not to suffer from this anymore.

Jeannine: what happened to you with those ladies? They look nice to me though.

Me: One of them is my college professor.

Jeannine (opening her arms): and? What is the problem in all of this? It's not like she met you in one of those seedy stripper bars or even worse that you were prostituting yourself on the street corner. Far be it from me to denigrate their work to these people. You do a normal job to support yourself and at the same time avoid doing shady or indecent things. You have the chance to attend university, it is to your credit. Some would kill to be you. Whoever judges you is not going to cover your costs for you. When will you finally understand it? You don't owe this company anything.

Me (resigned): I know it my darling, I know. But...

Jeannine (turning around): So?

Me: can you imagine if this is known on campus? The students will look at me a kind.

Jeannine (irritated): a kind how? Do you owe them anything?

Me: They're all going to laugh at me.

Jeannine (giggling): you and your stories. Sweetheart just ignores them. You have a goal, it's the only thing that should guide you. The rest doesn't count. In any case, not the fear of being the laughingstock of a small group of people who obviously know nothing about life.

Me: Thanks sweetie. Thank you for being there for me.

Jeannine: yeah. But in the meantime you owe me one. I'm not going to bother myself I warn you.

Me (giggling):...

I finished my service all the same in a good mood. I almost forgot the incident earlier. I went out and stopped a taxi to go home, but it seems that the taxi drivers in this town are all on strike. It took me over an hour to wait, nada. I am in serious despair. I got up to walk a little, then a gray car stopped beside me. The occupier beckoned me forward. I wanted to take my legs around my neck so much that I felt fear overwhelm me. I think he understood because he stopped the car and showed me these identity papers at that time. Then he came down and said to me:

Him: are you looking for a taxi? I can be your driver if you want.

Me (aggressively): who told you that I need a driver?

Him: well, you're here walking in an industrial district late at night with your bag. I don't know many people who do that.

Me (tac au tac): Well today you found it.

Him (smiling): I'm going to walk with you then.

Me (looking him down): the path is for everyone.

Him (smiling): as beautiful as it is wicked.

Me: At least I'm not a soul breaker. To see your face you are the perfect prototype.

Him (amused): what does that mean soulbreaker ?

Me: the kind that makes your head spin by promising you heaven and earth. With all these inhabitants even if you wish. Then one fine day he abandons you without leaving a trace... well yes, he leaves one. The destruction of all your tendinous cords as long as your heart would have gone through too many different emotions.

Him (laying a hand on his chest with a falsely outraged air): Oh!

Me: Correct me if I'm lying then.

Him: you'll have all the time you need to find out.

Me: well, sir is confident, say so.

Him: and Miss likes to talk about cardio, I see. My mother would love you.

Me: do you want to introduce me to your mother yet?

Him: if you say yes, of course. But I wasn't talking about that. She always wanted me to do medicine like her. But in the end none of his three children chose to follow in his footsteps.

Me: too bad for you three then. Medicine is beautiful.

He just smiles at me then adds:

Him (holding out his hand to me): Jamel, Jamel Bradley BROWN. And you?

Lord, come get your daughter out of here, she's going to do something stupid.

Me (more relaxed): I can read you know. You just showed me your papers. And I saw your name on it. Unless it's not...

Jamel (killing himself laughing): I know, but that still doesn't answer my question about the flower. What is yours?

My God that smile! But what are you doing Cassie?

Me (losing myself in her gaze): Cassandra JEAN.

Jamel (smile): pretty name just like the person who wears it. So I'll walk you Cassandra? It's where you want. Tonight I'm your man.

What me ?

Jamel: I mean, I'm at your disposal, he recovers.

Me (nodding his head): Ok. I just hope I don't regret it later.

Jamel: I promise not.