Chapter 7: The Lion, The Witch, and the Closet

Derrick's previous partner had drained him—literally. And it was the kind of draining that was slow and subtle yet deliberate. For five good years, Derrick was the breadwinner. That was perfectly fine, but he ended up supporting not only his partner but also his partner's family.

And his partner's extended family.

"Fuck," I said. "Even I won't go that low. Whatever happened to the smart Derrick I thought I was friends with?"

"I saw it coming," he said. "Honestly speaking."

"But you chose not to stop it?"

"More like I couldn't stop it," Derrick answered, his head bowed down in shame. "He was the first person ever to accept me for who I really am. And I know this sounds so dramatic and all—"

"Say no more, sister." I stopped him mid-sentence. "Let's drink to you getting rid of the asshole that is... What's his name again?"

"Bryan."

"Yeah," I said, raising my half-empty glass. "To Dr. Derrick Evangelista and his breakup with the asshole that is Bryan!"

We downed our glasses, which Janus quickly refilled.

"Hey, how come I never knew you guys were gay?" Janus asked. The crowd at the bar thinned out as the patrons moved over to the dance floor.

"I've been attracted to men for as long as I can remember," I answered, "But I never considered that a reason to act effeminate. It doesn't come naturally to me, so my sexual orientation isn't obvious."

Janus nodded. "Why were you keeping it a secret before?"

Ah. The ultimate question.

"Let's see," Derrick answered. "BJ got fired when his boss found out he was gay."

"What?"

"It's true," I said. "I used to be a financial analyst and investment specialist for Samsong group."

"Does that adequately answer your question?" Derrick eyed Janus, and the other man nodded.

"I can't believe people can be that bigoted in this day and age."

"I never really hid it from friends and family, though," I said to no one in particular. "I always answer truthfully whenever people ask."

"Even your colleagues in Samsong?"

"Well, they never asked," I answered. "They just assumed someone as good as I am is surely straight."

Both Derrick and Janus gave me a weird look.

"I'm not bragging!" I added hastily. "What I'm trying to say is that people at Samsong kept making passing remarks about how women can't handle this and that, and how men are the only ones trustworthy when it comes to math and finances. You know, misogynistic BS."

"Another round of Hemingways, please!" Derrick requested, using the term he recently learned.

"Hey, I just realized I've been honest with you about my sexuality," I told Derrick. "How come you never came out to any of us? Don't tell me you found out you were gay only after you finished med school!"

Derrick heaved out a loud sigh. "I don't really understand why we need to come out. Which part of the constitution made straight the default sexuality? I hate it."

Derrick tossed back his glass, setting it down empty afterward. Janus gave me a questioning look, and I shook my head.

"I don't want to be gay," Derrick said.

Janus raised his eyebrows at me, and I shook my head again. "He's drunk," I mouthed silently.

"If I could just choose who to like, I wouldn't go for men. At least I don't have to—" Derrick's phone started ringing. "Dr. Evangelista on the line." Several beats passed. "What? I'm on my way."

Janus and I exchanged glances. "Everything all right?" I asked.

"Mom's in the ER."

"You're drunk, Derrick."

"I know. Someone else is handling her. I just want to be there."

"Okay, I'll take you there."

"You're drunk, too. I'll get a cab. Text me the door code."

Derrick left me to my thoughts, and Janus became busy attending to the bar again. I wondered about what happened to Derrick and why he suddenly came out to us. I honestly thought he was straight. I guess my gaydar's not as functional as I thought it was.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

I turned to face a tall and handsome gentleman dressed impeccably in a suit. He reminded me of my old self back in Samsong.

"Wait, BJ?" the guy asked. "BJ Alvarez?"

"Robert?" I asked, recognizing him from high school. "It's you! Robert Anderson!" I stood up from the bar stool and gave Robert a hug. "Hey, Janus! It's Robert!"

"Janus Mariano?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Hey, man. Long time no nothing," Janus said, extending his hand for a shake.

Robert took it and said, "Great to see you again."

"You're looking good," I commented as we sat ourselves down.

Robert ordered a glass of whiskey. Neat. Just like how I would if I were with Faye. "I didn't know you were gay," he said.

"And I didn't know you were gay, either," I answered, clinking glasses with him.

"What makes you think I am?"

"This is a gay bar!" I chuckled. "Why else would you be here if not for some butt action?"

Robert laughed. "Smart as ever!"

"Not as smart as you, though," I answered back with a smile. "What have you been up to?"

"I'm a lawyer now." He handed me his card. The back of the card read Escudero, Brillantes, Anderson, and Associates.

"Youngest name partner, huh?" I said.

"How'd you guess?"

"Your surname's part of the firm's name," I answered. "And it's the last one."

"Yeah... Fate's been good to me," he responded. "How are you? The last time I heard of you, you were closing deals left and right in Seoul."

"You know about me?"

"I specialize in corporate law, so I follow world business news," he said, grinning. "You're in the headlines every now and then."

I blushed. "That was then."

"Are you here for good?"

"Kinda," I answered, signaling Janus for another glass. How many have I had? I'd lost count.

"I'm guessing you don't want to talk about it."

Should I open up to Robert? We weren't that close in high school. He used to be this untouchable guy—tall, dark, and handsome with his European genes; unbeatably smart because of all the extracurricular classes his parents had signed him up for; and brutal on the football field. Not that I was interested in football.

He was popular with the ladies, but he didn't seem to have a lot of friends. I mean, who would befriend him? There was no way we could have hung out, not when his driver and bodyguard would pick him up from school right after class or football practice.

"I got fired for being gay." I decided to open up and be honest. "Just last month. Now I'm here for good."

"That's unfortunate," he responded. "I can introduce you to a few people if you're looking for a job."

"Really? Thanks!"

"I can throw in a good word for you with my friends from DBA and Central Bank."

"DBA? As in the Development Bank of Asia? And Central Bank?"

Robert nodded, smiling. "Just send me your CV, and I'll contact them for you."

"That would be so amazing. Thank you!"

"Anything for a cute old friend."

Oh.

"Are you hitting on me now?"

Robert took a sip of his whiskey and gave out a pronounced ahhh. "Maybe."

"I never suspected you were gay," I said.

"Well, you never spoke to me. If you did, I would have told you."

"Ha! That would've been really something," I said.

"It's true, though, and I've had a crush on you since high school."

"No way!" I said, laughing at his jest.

"I'm serious. It's not a joke."

"Hold on—are you telling me that you were already aware I was gay at that time?"

"I wasn't sure of your sexual orientation, but I was sure of mine."

"And you were willing to risk your popularity to date me?" I asked incredulously.

Robert frowned. "Was I popular?"

"You were extremely popular! That was the year the Philippines started liking football, and you came in with your London accent, light brown hair, and a bodyguard tailing you around," I said. "Plus the fact that you were handsome and hot."

Shit. I should not have said that.

"You thought I was hot?"

"Everybody did." I silently thanked my quick thinking skills for not allowing me to fall for that trap.

"Huh," Robert said. "You guys were pretty badass."

"What do you mean?"

"You were this nerdy guy who topped all the exams without putting too much effort into it," he explained. "And you were friends with Cassandra, the model. She was also acing her academics despite her frequent absences. Then you have Faye and this other guy—Derrick, wasn't it? All of you were the typical snobs, but you weren't snobbish, if that makes sense."

I laughed. "Wow, you remember us well."

Robert nodded and returned my laugh with a boyish grin. I'm sure he practiced that to make other gay guys swoon.

"I had a crush on you back then. I mean it."

"It's a pity you had a crush on me then and not now."

"I tried buying you a drink," he said. "I think that pretty much shows I'm still interested."

I felt my face getting warm, and not because of the alcohol I'd consumed. I reminded myself not to exchange witty remarks with lawyers—I'm only going to lose again.

"So have you been out since high school?" I asked, changing the topic.

"Out?" he asked. "Out of the closet?"

I nodded.

"Lucky for me, I never had to be in any closet," he said. "My dad's from London, but his extended family's from the Netherlands. We've always been open about those things."

"I see. Aren't you scared of being judged at work, though?"

"I don't really care. I can just sue them if they do." Robert laughed. "I always win my cases anyway."

I laughed with him. "It's a shame I can't do that with Samsong."

"You can sue them if you want," he said. "I'm friends with the top law firms there."

"Samsong owns the top law firms in Korea!" I cried. "The chairman's younger brother is practically the founder!"

"Shit. For real?"

"For real!" I answered. "But I don't really care anymore. I'm kind of glad it happened. At least I can be myself in my next job."

Robert stared at me for a long time before saying, "I'd love to take you out sometime."

"I'm sorry, Rob." I smiled sympathetically. "I'm already seeing someone."

"Right," Robert said, finishing his drink. "Do send me your CV, okay? I'll hook you up with the best firms in town."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it."

"And we should hang out," he said, standing up from his seat. "Maybe we can be friends this time around."

I nodded. "Sure."

"Bring Faye and Cassandra along if you're not comfortable being alone with me."

"They'll probably invite themselves the moment I tell them about it, so yeah, I'll most likely be with them," I said. "Heading home now?"

"I have a meeting with a client at 7 am tomorrow. Just passing by the office for some final preps."

It was a lie. Had I said yes to him, we would've probably spent the night fucking. That's how gay relationships work. It was the same thing with JM, but where the hell was he?

I downed a couple more mojitos when the urge to text JM became unbearable. I was scared that if I had enough alcohol in my system, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from calling him, but I was too sad and lonely to act logically.

Hey... still alive? I typed, thinking for a while before pressing send.

I noticed that my previous messages had been left on read.

I really hope everything's fine because I miss you so much. I pressed the send button without a moment's hesitation. I was sure that I would hate myself in the morning for such a clingy message.

Janus came over with a passion fruit martini. "From that gentleman over there," he said, pointing to a man in a gray collared shirt at the far left side of the bar.

I took the drink and waved at the guy. "Please tell him thank you, but I'm already taken."

Janus nodded and winked at me. "Don't worry, I'll handle it."

For the next couple of minutes, no other drink came my way. Janus had kept his word. Either that or I wasn't attractive enough for that crowd.

"Hey, Janus," I started. "Am I not attractive?"

He laughed. "Are you drunk?"

"No," I answered. "I mean, you know—if you were gay, would you find me attractive?"

"Yes," he said.

"Well that was fast," I said, laughing.

"Because it's the truth," he answered back. "I find you very attractive."

"Aww, stop that," I said in a girlish manner. "You're making me fall for you."

"Too bad I'm already in love with someone else," Janus said, fishing out his phone. He then showed me pictures of his girlfriend. "She's a preschool teacher."

"That's nice," I managed to say. "I'll throw a small get-together at my place. I'm inviting Faye and the others. You should come, and you can bring your girlfriend along."

"Oh, cool," Janus smiled appreciatively. "I'd like to be friends with big shots like you, Derrick, and Faye."

I laughed at his comment. Was that how guys saw me? A big shot? A walking ATM? A sugar daddy?

"Can you give me your strongest drink?"

"Hmm, you sure you're okay?"

I nodded. "I want to be hammered."

"All right," he said. "Maybe you can check out my invention. I'm trying to copy this green drink from the Rooftop." He was referring to the bar and restaurant where I met JM. Fuck. JM again.

"As long as it packs a punch, I'll take it."

He came back minutes later with a long test tube containing pale green liquid that seemed to sparkle, as if there were powdered diamonds inside.

"I'm calling it Bottled Green Fairy," he said.

"Cheers!"

It was too late to notice Janus' expression of horror as I downed the drink in one long gulp.

And then everything went dark.