Chapter 5: Family Feud

The drive to the mall was one hell of an experience. The twins were seated at the back, playing Add On Story Telling with JM. Their story, currently, seems to be about a fairy getting lost in some blueberry forest who got so hungry that she ate the blueberries which were in fact poisonous and it made her want to go to the bathroom so badly but then there was no bathroom in the forest so she had to go and unload her tummy at a nearby pond.

It was Eiji's turn to add his part. "The fairy's poo smelled so bad all the merpeople in the pond died!"

JM and I burst out laughing.

"Why did they die?" Elle asked in earnest.

"Because her poo smelled so bad! It was pollution!"

"The kids have crazy imagination!" JM mouthed to me in the rear view mirror, smiling.

As soon as we entered the mall, Eiji insisted that we go and buy his gift first. The twins went crazy as soon as we entered the Lego store, joining all the other crazy kids screaming in delight at the brightly coloured lego replicas of different cities, buildings, characters — basically everything you could think of. We let the twins play around for a while and I led JM to browse through the Lego sets for serious collectors.

"Holy shit!" JM said, putting a big box back to the shelf. "This thing costs a fortune!"

"Yeah," I answered. "I couldn't afford one when I was younger. I started my collection just few years back."

"You have a Lego collection?" He asked, shocked. "Where?"

"At the library. Glass cases in one of the shelves. They're not much."

"You have a library?!" JM said, mouth open in shock. "Err... it's not a big one. It functions as an office, too."

"So you've got two living rooms," JM began, "a maze for a closet, and a library!"

I nodded. "One's a sitting area. The other one's a typical living room with the TV and all."

JM stared at me, eyes almost open as wide as his mouth in disbelief.

"Don't judge me. Faye's the one who planned all of it. I don't really need a sitting area, to be honest."

Eiji came running towards us with Elle tailing closely behind. Eiji announced that he made his pick. Unfortunately, he saw the Death Star Lego set on display and we ended up buying that instead.

Next stop was the Barbie shop for Elle. No surprises there. Like mother, like daughter! Eiji refused to go inside and begged that he be allowed to watch Star Wars videos. JM volunteered to stay and watch, handing over his phone to Eiji.

The inside of the store looked like an explosion of pink and blonde. The atmo- sphere was so much different from the Lego store. The shop attendants were all good looking men and women in their early twenties, all of them dressed up like Asian Barbies and Kens. The customers were, of course, spoiled brats strutting around the shop like some royal princesses with their moms in tow.

Yes, they're all moms! Your typical trophy moms with pearls on their necks and artworks displayed on their nails! There's not a single dad soul inside the store. No wonder Eiji refused to go in.

Elle scanned the shelves and ignored all the barbies in their different gowns, bathing suits, and casual outfits. She also ignored the Kens and the different styles of Barbie Mansions on display. Elle walked straight for the Power Wheels Dream Camper Set mounted at the center of the store, slowly turning on an elevated ped- estal, with spotlights further bringing out its shine and sparkle.

It was a real, drivable, Barbie van that can run up to 5 miles per hour! It seems that Elle is also her father's daughter — inheriting his love for wheels!

"That one!" Elle said, pointing at the Barbie van, smiling from ear to ear.

I waved at the Ken-doll looking attendant, "We'll take this, please."

As if on cue, all heads in the store turned to our direction in that signature slow motion you always find in chic flick, moms, the shop attendants, the security personnel, and worst of them all — 30 or so bratty princess wannabes.

"Certainly, sir. With this purchase, you are entitled to receiving this ultra exclusive camper Barbie set!" exclaimed the attendant, showing Elle and myself another big box.

"This set includes Barbie, Ken, a hundred assorted camping accessories and outfits for the family, including..."

"Stacie!" cried Elle, eyeing the child-doll who I presume to be Barbie's daughter.

"Very good, cute little princess!" answered the attendant, high-fiving Elle.

"We'll take them all," I said. And it was at that moment that I found out I was fucked.

The sound of several mothers simultaneously screaming for their children to stop nagging suddenly boomed into existence as we walked our way out. It was followed by an even more sinister sound — the sound of brats throwing tantrums for not getting what they want.

"We don't have money for that!" I heard one mother tell her daughter as quietly as possible, afraid to admit out loud that they couldn't afford the toy Elle just picked.

"NOOOOOOO!!! I want the Barbie van!" screamed her kid in response.

I lifted Elle up, carried her in my arms, and quickened my pace out. JM and Eiji were waiting for us outside. JM's mouth fell when he saw the size of the toy Elle chose for herself.

"The twins won!" I said, "Faye trained them well! They both chose the biggest and the most expensive ones!"

JM laughed and nudged Eiji towards us. Eiji reluctantly returned JM's phone and immediately started bragging to Elle about his toy. Elle wasn't having any of that and bragged about her toy to Eiji in return.

"Don't fight, now," I said. "If you argue, I won't buy you toys for your birthdays!" I said, smiling.

The twins immediately stopped arguing about whose toy is better and decided to stand quietly, holding my left and right hands each. JM came over and kissed me on the cheek.

"I love how you'd make a great mother," he whispered.

"We can't go there, Jesse!" I heard a woman telling her daughter, exhaustion very evident in her voice. "We don't have money for dolls right now!"

"Your mom's right, Jesse. We just paid for your grandma's hospital bills." The man beside them explained. "I'll make you a deal."

The little girl and her mom turned to face the man expectantly. "If you behave and get good grades in school, we'll get you a barbie doll for Christmas!"

"But I don't want it for Christmas! I want it now!" the kid replied. "Look at her! She has a big box of barbies! Why can't I get one? Just one!"

Both the man and the woman turned towards Elle, the lines in their foreheads becoming deeper and deeper and their frowns becoming more pronounced.

"Look at her, Jesse!" the woman said. "She does't even have a mommy! It's a pity she has two gay dads!"

I almost lost my eyebrows when they shot so high up after hearing her say that. I thought the Philippines was more accepting when it comes to these things.

"Never mind the Barbie dolls, at least you've got a mother!" she continued.

"I beg your pardon?" I said, unable to stop my bitchy self from breaking the surface. And for some odd reason, I didn't sound like my normal professional self. Instead, I sounded like a high-pitched soprano on the verge of a voice break.

"You are disgusting and you are setting a bad example for our daughter. This Barbie store should know better than to serve homosexuals like you!"

"Ha ha ha!" I forced out a laugh like your typical antagonist in Channel 2's prime time telenovela. "This Barbie store serves people with money. In other words, people like me!"

I could see people starting to stop and watch, the Filipino spirit of insatiable hunger for gossip stirring in them.

"And definitely not people like you," I added, glaring at them from head to toe. "You don't belong here, you should probably go shop where things are more affordable for your kind. You know... ZM Zuper Malls! They got it all for you!"

"Don't you dare use that tone with my wife!"

"Don't you dare insult my sexuality!" I roared. "I was quietly minding my business and your bitch of a wife had to start badmouthing me and my family!"

I'm not sure what came to me but at that time, I felt like this was a fight I wasn't willing to give up. I've already made excuses for people — for my CEO who fired me for kissing another guy, for that asshole Hanbi for forcing me to use the women's lavatory, and for all those times I had to bow down and let things slide whenever my sexuality was on the line.

No! This time, I'm not backing off.

"Let's just go Mando!" the woman said. "Let's leave before this pathetic excuse of a man infects us with his gay virus!"

"But mommy, my Barbie!" cried Jess, their kid.

Elle walked forward and hugged the crying Jesse. "You can have my toy instead. I'm sure my dad can buy me a new one."

I think Elle was referring to Henry — her real father. I'm also pretty sure she did not intentionally say that to piss the bigoted woman off, but that's exactly what happened.

"What are you doing?" the woman screamed. "Stay away from Jesse!"

The bitch pushed my god child! I rushed to pick Elle up. Jesse reached out to the cart and continued to stare at the barbie box in reverie.

"You can have that," I said. "Elle already gave it to you. I'll just buy another one."

Jesse looked up at me. "Why can't my mommy and daddy buy me one?"

"Because your mommy and daddy are incompetent, Jesse." I said. This woman crossed the line when she pushed my godchild to the floor. I'm not holding back anymore. Bitch Mode On!

"It means they're not good enough to earn money for your toys!" I added.

"Are you good enough, mister?" she asked.

I wanted to tell Jess and her parents that I'm more than good enough. That I can buy the whole Barbie store and still not be worried about where to get my next meal. That it would probably take her mommy and daddy several years of hard work to match my monthly salary.

But I couldn't say it.

After all, I wasn't good enough for Samsong to keep in spite of my sexual orientation.

"I think I'm good enough, Jess." I sighed. "At least I'm good enough to understand that having two daddies may not be such a bad thing."

Jesse smiled. "Who cooks if there is no mommy and only two daddies?"

"Daddy 1 or Daddy 2 can cook well! It's not only mommies who can cook," I explained patiently. I also couldn't help but smile at Jesse's display of understanding.

"Are you Daddy 1 or Daddy 2?"

"Enough of this nonsense!" the woman was seething, red from forehead to her barely existing cleavage. "Mando, help me get your daughter!"

Her husband went over to forcefully pick up Jesse. The child, however, wasn't ready to part with her new toy and held on to the cart. The woman joined in and tried to pry Jesse's hands open.

"Let go, Jesse!" the woman screamed.

"Nooo! I want my Barbie! It's mine!"

"This is your fault, fucking homo!" shouted Mando before he did the unthinkable — he spat at me!

A veined fist soared and landed a satisfactory crunch in Mando's nose. And there was another one that landed on his left eye.

It was JM. He went on full berserker mode and landed four more clean hits at Mando's face before the shop attendant and two other passers-by successfully had him restrained.

I calmly wiped the spit off of my face. Yes, I was calm, for the sake of Elle and Eiji. But deep inside me, I kept thinking of the many ways I could slit that foul couple's throats. I was also thinking of quickly getting some disinfectant because... eeeewwww, saliva!

"Angelina!" Mando screamed, "help me!"

Mando was urging his wife to help him stand up. Angelina came over and helped her husband to his feet. She was still red all over, probably bursting in anger at what happened, but she didn't say anything.

"Here!" I said, throwing a card towards them. "This is our company lawyer's number. You can reach him if you want. But if you do..."

Angelina didn't move.

"Just be aware that I'll have him secure all the CCTV footage and eye witness reports. I'll have your husband jailed for spitting at me!"

Back at home, I immediately washed my face and disinfected it with the strongest disinfectants I have. Faye would kill me if she finds out I risked skin damage! I went back to the living room to find JM talking to the twins.

"Ninong BJ," called Elle. "Can I be the flower girl when you decide to marry Tito JM?"

"Oh! I want to be your ring bearer!!! Please, Ninong!"

JM and I laughed. "Sorry, was telling the kids we're not married yet because it's not allowed here."

"Okay kids," I said, "I'm going to cook something really quick for dinner. Why don't you keep your toys first in the room and we'll work on them tomorrow, alright?"

The twins nodded and JM carried their toys over to the guest room. The three came back together with the twins heading over the living room to watch TV. JM came over and asked if he could take a quick shower as he had to prepare for work.

"You don't have to ask," I answered back. He leaned forward and kissed me.

"I hope you're okay after what happened today," he whispered.

"Yeah," I said. "Thank you for doing that."

"The asshole deserved it."

A few minutes later, JM came out fully dressed for work. We all ate quietly and JM bid us goodbye soon after.

I helped the kids shower and get ready for bed, not forgetting the baby monitor Faye brought over so I can hear whatever's happening even though my room is at the opposite end of the condo.

"Good night!" I said as I kissed them both on each cheek.

The moment I was out of the room, I heard them talking over the baby monitor.

"I love mommy but having two daddies is not bad, I think!" Elle said.

"I'm not getting two daddies if it isn't Ninong BJ and Tito JM!" answered Eiji. "I hope Mr. President allows them to get married soon!"

"It's not Mr. President. Tito JM said it's Mr. Congress. Do you know who that is?"

I was smiling as I walked to my room. These kids are sweet. I'm sure all kids are. It's a shame we all grow up to be the bigoted assholes that we are. I really hope there'd be no more bigots to influence the next generation of Filipinos.

I took a long bath, washing away all the stress and the anger I felt at the mall. I'll tell Faye everything as soon as she comes back. It was a few minutes past mid- night when I got off the tub. I dried myself, changed into my pyjamas, and hopped on to my bed. I buried my face against one of the pillows and felt something sharp and edgy. It was a piece of folded paper.

I don't really believe in bullsh*t like love at first sight,

but when I saw you, I guess I wasn't thinking right!

I tried to think of other things to keep you off my mind,

but I just can't seem to do it, there's no one else to find.

I wondered whether I'd be able to talk to you that night,

I figured you'd never be interested, thus began my plight.

But as luck would have it, you followed me closely.

I took the chance and kissed you passionately.

I still recall the taste of your lips,

warm and cozy and tasting like freshly fried chips!

(SORRY! I RAN OUT OF RHYMING WORDS!)

I laughed after reading that part. I can't believe he just described my lips as tasting like chips. Salty!

But then I heard that you left without goodbye,

I got hurt and scared and lonely — I'm not going to lie.

But you came back and agreed to date me,

Finally, I can start calling you 'honey'!

I couldn't sleep at all that night,

I can see us together until our hair strands are white.

To make you fall for me was one of my true goals,

I was beyond happy when we shared our hearts, bodies, and souls.

After today, I can't help but think we'd make a good family,

but this is only possible if you agree to one day marry me.

And maybe someone like me isn't good enough for you,

but I promise to do everything to see things through.

I love you, BJ, and I don't really know why,

Maybe I don't deserve you, but why shouldn't I try?

I realised I was crying when a humongous teardrop fell right onto the poem that JM wrote. I hastily wiped my eyes but the tears just came out full on — like the river of emotions gushing out of my heart right now.

I grabbed my phone to send a message when JM's number came flashing on the screen.

"Hello? I hate to disturb you this late but I really need your help!" JM said. He sounded anxious.

"What's the matter? Are you okay?"

"It's my mom! It's an emergency!"