Absinthe

It took me four long years, but I was finally able to return back home. Well, okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. I'd been to the country four or five times the previous year, but those had all been business trips, and I was always with my boss. That meant I never had the chance to go anywhere apart from the hotel or wherever it was we were scheduled to meet investors.

But things were different during that visit—I was in the country for a full month of vacay! I planned on enjoying every single minute of it, starting with the meetup with my crew that evening.

Something bothered me, though. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but everything felt different. It was as though that place was not the same place I'd spent my childhood.

The Manila that greeted me was nowhere close to how I remembered it. It was so much posher and more appealing—cleaner, even. There were also a lot more things to see. It was a stark contrast to the minimalist Manila I knew.

Take the jellyfish tank I was looking at, for instance. It spanned the length of the entire bar, which was insane! Bars in Manila used to be a lot simpler: they had bottles of different liquors and spirits, high stools for those waiting for their hookups, tables, and chairs. No live jellyfishes emitting eerie neon lights inside a landscaped aquarium with a full set of miniature shipwreck ornaments. Christ, I couldn't get over how fancy everything was. It was not the Manila I remembered at all.

And the people. I guess it was the Manileños who had changed the most. Either that or I hadn't been exposed to that side of the metro when I was a broke-ass boy.

Everything suddenly seemed intimidating. The Manila I knew was a busy place bustling with sweet manangs and friendly kuyas who were always smiling and ever-ready for gossip. No matter where you went, you could feel the very essence of Filipino hospitality. Now, everyone's just scary as fuck.

I'd stopped for a fraction of a second to observe the details of the landscaping inside the jellyfish tank when the bordering-on-malnourished woman behind me complained loudly.

"Ugh, why won't he move? First time seeing a jellyfish?"

I was sure that her fake lashes rolled with her eyes when she said that. Her date, who I presumed to be her boyfriend, chuckled at her supposed sass and badassery.

I, on the other hand, profusely apologized and bowed my head several times before moving to the reception area.

"Koreans!" I caught her saying disparagingly as she catwalked in her Jimmy Choos, waving her Louis Vuitton clutch at her friends over the far left side of the deck.

It was a disaster. I couldn't turn off my Korean habits, and it was making me a foreigner in my own country.

Rough night already!!! Guys, where are you? I sent the message to the group chat with my friends, starting to get frustrated.

I waited for a quarter of an hour, but my friends were still nowhere in sight. It seemed that the only thing that hadn't changed in the Philippines was everyone's habit of being late. It made me wonder if there was an unspoken policy against arriving early.

I stood up as a hostess came over and welcomed me to the bar, asking for my name.

"Ben Jamin Alvarez. But the reservation is under Faye Gonzales."

The hostess scanned her tablet to confirm the booking. "A reservation for four for Ms. Faye Gonzales at 10:00. This way, please," she continued in straight English, pronouncing the th and the v sounds correctly and without a hint of the strong accent Filipinos all over the world are known for. "You are quite early, Mr. Alvarez," she commented, smiling as she led me toward our table.

She had unknowingly proven my suspicion: on time was quite early! I bet you a thousand bucks that for her and the rest of the country, super late means being just on time.

"This is a prime seat. I hope you enjoy the view of the metro from here," she said.

I nodded and sat myself on a puffy chair overlooking the city. The lights were pretty from that height—even the slow-moving traffic resembled a procession of dancing stars.

"Can I start you off with something to drink? Perhaps while you wait for your guests?"

Correction: I was the guest. But I didn't want to bitch about everyone being late, so I just smiled at the hostess and asked for a mojito. If you don't know the menu, always choose mojitos; they're the safest bet.

"One of our servers will be with you shortly. Please enjoy your evening."

OTW was Derrick's simple reply.

Faye sent Almost there BJ! ?

And shortly after, BJ! BJ! BJ! ?? came from Cassie.

Ugh, that nickname. Who wants to be called BJ, especially when you're as gay as it gets? I hate being called BJ!

Back in grade school, BJ stood for buko juice, a sweet drink made from fresh coconut water and milk. It was an all-time fave, especially in the provinces south of Manila. But after the boys got circumcised and the girls started getting their periods, BJ no longer stood for buko juice but for blow jobs.

That had been my moniker until I graduated high school.

At exactly forty-three minutes past ten and halfway through my second mojito, I heard two very familiar, high-pitched shrieks.

"BJ!" Faye and Cassie screamed in unison, arms outstretched for hearty hugs and cheeks tilted for the mandatory beso beso.

"Hello, bitches!" I said, taking both of them at once.

I couldn't stop myself from grinning at this mini reunion, all of my annoyance at their tardiness gone and forgotten in an instant.

"Oh my god, it's so good to see you again!" Faye started, lifting my chin and turning my face left and right. "The skin care products I got you seem to be working wonders—I am so loving your pores now. They're practically invisible!"

Cassie and I laughed. Faye had made it her lifetime mission to revamp my looks since we last saw each other. She'd been spending my cash on designer clothes, skin care products, makeup, and a whole bunch of health products I supposedly needed to become "BJ Version Two Point Oh." Or as Cassie fondly called it, "Operation BJ Oppa."

"I agree," Cassie said. "I love the new look!"

"Come on, turn around! Give us a show!" Faye added.

I obliged, giving them a fancy bow. I needed an ego boost anyway. Of course, Faye just had to do a commentary.

"White, low-hanging, navy blue-striped, long sleeved T-shirt from Comme Des Garcons," she started. "Plus points for the choice of low cut neckline to highlight your prominent collarbones. Very lovely!"

I had to stifle a laugh. Faye was really good at fashion. You'd expect Cassie to be one who's into all those things given that she's a model, but Faye was a lot more passionate about it. And I think that passion of hers wasn't just for fashion but for everything else as well.

"That partially exposed collarbone tattoo is a tease," she added, pointing at the lettering just below my neckline. "Harry Potter glasses from Gentle Monster—those specs frame your nose line and eyes perfectly!" Faye couldn't stop clapping, and I couldn't stop smiling either. "I absolutely adore your slim fit khaki chinos with that minimal accent near the ankles."

She scanned the rest of me for a few more seconds before concluding, "I feel like we're almost there with BJ Version 2.0, but I'm giving this particular look only an eight instead of a perfect ten."

"What?" I said, holding up my hands in defeat before settling back down on my chair.

"Those shoes," Faye answered, shaking her head disapprovingly.

"You do realize that these are Jimmies. And you were the one who bought them!"

"Yes, yes, I know. But those are white sneakers. I bought them for your sporty look."

I checked out my shoes and felt a bit disappointed. I thought I had followed all of her fashion tips correctly and was already feeling pretty confident about myself. But at that moment, I wasn't too sure anymore.

"It's not about the shoes per se; it's about the matchup between your top and bottom."

"Well, at least we know for a fact that BJ's a bottom." It was Derrick. He had just arrived, ever good-looking in his usual business casual attire.

"Says the strongest power bottom in the metro," Faye said, laughing and standing to hug and kiss Derrick.

"Shut up, Faye," Derrick shot back.

We all laughed, and when we sat back down, Faye continued her monologue on fashion.

"As I was saying, with your top and bottom, you were clearly going for the simple and preppy style," Faye explained. "So a nice pair of brown loafers or boat shoes would have completed the whole navy-inspired ensemble."

Faye can get pretty intense when she's focused on something. And with her mouth lacking any filter, she becomes an unstoppable blabbermouth.

"Give him a break, Faye. He looks really cute," Cassie said, smiling at me. "I love the glasses. They're so round and so big!"

"I'm not being hard on BJ," Faye said defensively, "It's constructive criticism on his ability to dress himself well. But I agree: you look so cute! Very instagrammable."

After a couple of minutes of Instagram photo ops, the server approached our table and greeted us.

"The usual for us, please," Faye said. "And the gentlemen will have a—" She paused and shot me a disappointed glance as I sipped on my unfinished mojito. "Give them your Green Fairy Delight," she said.

The server nodded in acknowledgement, and I hadn't noticed it the first time he came over, but he was hot.

Sizzling hot.

"Did you guys see that server's face?" I asked as soon as the server was out of earshot.

"Who? James?" Faye replied. "He has a boyfriend."

"Does he?" Cassie asked. "Why? Do you like him?"

"No!" I said, defensively. "I mean, he looks good..."

"That guy is exactly BJ's type." Derrick said. "He's into twinky tops, remember? I can't believe you right now. Thirsty already on your first night out?"

Faye and Cassie stared at me accusingly.

"Well, look around, you guys—the staff here look amazing," I said, trying to sound innocent. "Is it their recruitment policy to hire models or something? They're all so tall and flawless and... What exactly is this place anyway? Are all of you regulars here?" I asked when I realized how familiar they were with the bar. "You even know the server's name!"

"Yeah, we're pretty much regulars." Cassie responded.

"It's one of the five bars we normally go to," added Faye. "They serve bespoke drinks, and their bartenders are all expats from New York. You can't get any posher than this."

"By the way, how's Hyuk?" Derrick asked, referring to my ex-boyfriend. "Does he still get you out of breath in bed?" He laughed at his own question.

I couldn't answer right away, and I guess the truth was apparent on my face because Faye let out her signature exaggerated audible gasp.

"You guys broke up?" she asked.

I nodded slowly, unsure of how to explain the situation to them. Just a couple of weeks prior, I had been telling them about how Hyuk and I were planning to move in together.

"Spill the beans, bitch! We don't have all night!" Cassie said, her eyes focused on mine. Faye was equally interested, although she was taken aback by the sudden change in atmosphere she herself had caused.

"I don't really want to talk about it yet," I said apologetically. "But I lost twenty grand."

"Pesos?" Faye asked, looking more worried by the minute.

I didn't want to answer because I knew what their reactions would be, but they'd just pester me to confirm it, so I had to shake my head in response. "Dollars."

"Holy shit!" Cassie cursed, slamming her tiny fists on the table. Faye reclined against the soft puffy chair and did not speak for a moment.

"You're sure he is what you think he is?" she asked. "It's not you misunderstanding and overthinking stuff?"

I nodded. "I caught him with a girl."

"That son of a bitch!" Faye cussed out loud, causing people nearby to glance in our direction.

"The curse of rich and successful gay guys," Derrick started. "It's difficult to get someone long-term. Everyone's just after your money."

"I said I don't want to talk about it now, okay?" I told them. "Let's have fun! Please?"

Faye shook her head. "How did he convince you to give him that much?"

"Stop it, Faye," Cassie intervened. "Let's respect BJ's decision for now."

And as quickly as that, our conversation veered away from my gold-digging ex-boyfriend to fashion, albeit awkwardly.

"Stop staring at me, Faye," I said, feeling conscious now.

"Why?" She said, indignantly. "I like what I see! Your collarbones and your tattoo are very much pronounced now. I love it!"

"Yeah, me too! What does it say?" Cassie joined in.

"As if you were on fire from within. The moon—"

"Lives in the lining of your skin," James, the server, said, not looking at any of us as he gracefully placed two rainbow-colored drinks in front of Faye and Cassie. "Pablo Neruda. Ode to a Beautiful Nude."

He knew his contemporary poetry. I was over the moon.

"And two Green Fairy Delights," he said, handing me my drink before handing Derrick his. "For the two gentlemen."

"Oh my god, he's starstruck!" Cassie said, laughing hard as she noticed me gawking. I didn't notice it myself, but she was right—I was pretty much boring a hole into James' god-like face with my stare.

"James, this is my best friend, BJ," Faye began. "The four of us have been friends since grade school, but BJ just came back from Korea. He's here on vacation."

"No, not BJ!" I said, frantically. "It's Ben Jamin. Or Ben. But definitely not BJ." I hastily extended my hand for a shake, casting daggers at Faye and Cassie, the both of them snickering.

"James," he said as he took my hand. "James Marco. You can call me JM. Are you Korean?" He added as he let go of my hand.

I wasn't joking when I said that James was hot. But when I had a better look at him, I realized that that was an understatement. He was so handsome that if he had asked me for a fuck at that very moment, my legs would have probably spread themselves apart faster than my mouth could say yes.

"No, I'm a Filipino."

"BJ's Pinay like the rest of us," Cassie joked. Derrick and I glared at her.

"Yeah. He's just based in Seoul. He's been there for ages, slaving for Samsong Group," explained Faye.

"I would love to go there one day," JM said.

"And I'm sure BJ would love to tour you around," Faye answered, giving me the most obvious wink ever.

Conclusion: She and Cassie were terrible wingwomen.

"And I'm surer that BJ would love to get your number!" Cassie added, mimicking Faye's singsong voice.

"What? No!" I said, turning red not from the mojitos I drank but from embarrassment.

"Oh." JM's smile dissolved to a frown. "That sucks."

"No!" I said, realizing my mistake. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to get your number. It's just that... Umm..." I wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow me whole so my misery could end.

Derrick laughed at how silly Faye and Cassie were acting and at how the situation was turning out.

"Listen," he told JM. "My friend here has the hots for you, but he's been out of the dating scene for quite some time. Give him a break, will you?"

"Yeah, not a problem for me," JM answered, smiling again.

"Cheers!" Derrick said, raising his glass to no one in particular and drinking the green liquid. "And since my lovely friend doesn't seem to know how to give you his number, I'll do it instead."

"Cool!" JM said, fishing his phone from his back pocket and keying in my number. "Got it. Thanks."

"No worries," Derrick said. "Just set me up with hot, single dudes if you know some."

JM laughed. Then, he did something that made me start longing for BJs, and not the coconut juice kind: he put his hand on my shoulder, his index finger and thumb grazing the exposed skin there. "I'll text you then," he said, momentarily squeezing my shoulder before letting go.

"Care for anything to eat?" JM asked the group.

"We'll have the Grand Yacht," Faye answered, still eyeing me and smiling ridiculously.

"Right, Ms. Faye. I'll bring it over shortly." He smiled politely at all four of us before vanishing into the crowd.

"You guys are total assholes!" I said as we burst into fits of laughter. "I can't believe I just gave him my number!"

"Excuse me, I gave your number. You just sat there blushing like some Catholic school girl," Derrick teased.

"Yeah, that was lame," Cassie added. "If it weren't for Derrick—"

"Not my fault. He's gorgeous," I answered back. "And he knows his poetry."

"JM clearly likes you, too. What's there to be shy about?" Cassie asked.

I don't know. I mean for starters, I'm not as hot as he is. And he just might end up being another Hyuk. "Uhm, didn't you say he has a boyfriend?" I turned to Faye, changing the topic.

"Yeah, as far as I know."

"So what? You can win him over with your moolah," Cassie said.

Faye looked at her uncomfortably and said, "Well, yeah. Cassie's got a point. You're a successful, young executive. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

"What? Am I going to be a sugar daddy now?" I asked. "I don't want to be like Tita Gay Abundance, alright?"

"Hey!" Faye shouted. "First of all, Tita Gay is my friend."

"And just like him, should I continue giving out twenty grand to the next guy who comes along, just like what I did with Hyuk?"

They were both quiet, suddenly remembering the conversation we had earlier.

"I get you," Derrick said. "I really do. But let's not jump into conclusions."

"Listen, you can't keep looking down on yourself," Faye said, trying to ease the tension. "Remember: you're handsome, you have an awesome career, and you have so many things to be proud of!"

"She's right," Cassie added. "You just didn't know how to take care of yourself before. But thanks to Faye, we've said sayonara to that problem a long time ago."

"I don't know," I said. "It's just that..." I paused, unsure of what to say next.

Just then, JM came back with a miniature wooden ship filled with all sorts of sashimi and sushi. He served the food and left.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't trying to act demure. I was just really not sure why someone as fine as JM would be interested in someone like me if not for some ulterior motive.

I mean, I'm not that attractive. I guess I am above average, but there's no way my face would cause heads to turn. As a matter of fact, out of the four of us, I can say that I'm the least interesting.

Faye is über-popular, with over 1 million followers on Instagram. She's a real beauty, the classy and simple kind. She shot to fame and became the elegant and sophisticated woman she is now after marrying the heir to Unli-Liver, the country's top pharmaceutical company that built its empire from developing and successfully marketing the first known cure for fatty liver disease.

Derrick is also no joke—he has a little over 100,000 followers on IG. He's dubbed as Dr. D, an innuendo to his supposed big package that stemmed from fan fiction written by unhinged fangirl nurses at St. Matthew's Medical Center. Derrick's known not only for his looks but also for his skills in pediatric surgery.

Cassie, on the other hand, is a model. She's mainly doing print and TV advertisements, so she's not that famous, but she still has a significant following on IG at about 40,000. Being the model that she is, I don't think I have to explain anything further when it comes to her looks.

Compare those numbers to my 36 followers...

"No one likes a self-pitying loser, BJ," Cassie said, kicking me out of the pity party happening in my head.

"And you're attractive, too. Seriously!" Derrick said. "I mean, obviously you're not my type, but you're good-looking."

"Yes, you are!" Faye added. "I don't make friends with ugly people."

Feeling a bit more confident at what they just said, I decided to act bolder and followed JM as he traversed the bar.

We reached the corridor where the VIP rooms were located when I called out to him. He looked back at me and flashed me a smile.

"What's up? You need anything?"

"No, umm, I was just wondering if you're free tomorrow night."

"I have work, but I'll tell my boss I can't make it," he answered. "For you."

God, he was a professional flirt!

"Oh, cool," I said.

"You're cute, you know," he said, staring at me intensely.

Before I knew it, he was only a few inches away from me. I don't really know why I did it, but I leaned against one of the VIP room doors. The next second, JM's body was pressed against mine, and I could feel his hot breath on my neck.

"I said, you're really cute," he repeated.

I speak four languages fluently, but for the life of me, I didn't know what language the sound that came out of me was.

"The question is..." JM pressed himself harder against me. I could feel the leanness of his torso, and I don't know if I was imagining things, but with the distinct hardness I could feel down there, I guessed my prayers of getting a BJ that night would be most likely answered. "Am I cute enough for you?"

Was there such a thing as tongue and larynx paralysis? I needed to ask Derrick later because there were so many things going on in my head at that moment, and my mouth seemed to have lost its function.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, it's hard to tell), my neck did the answering for me as it decided to expose itself more to JM's lips, like a virgin offering herself up to her shining, shimmering, splendid vampire date. Don't ask me why I responded that way because your guess is as good as mine.

JM pressed a long, warm kiss on my neck. "I see you want me to work for an answer," he whispered before sucking the soft skin there.

I tried to resist by raising my arms to push JM away from me slightly. He stopped, and I thought it was a good thing until he started staring at me. God, those eyes! That nose! And those lips! I wondered how they—

Suddenly, JM pinned me against the door and kissed me. It started slow, with his lips trying to part mine. It didn't take long for me to give in. As I did, his tongue took its liberty and explored my mojito-tasting mouth.

Fuck! I thought. Does my breath smell bad? Alcohol has some germicidal properties, so I should be okay, right? Good thing those mojitos had a lot of mint leaves!

JM continued to kiss me with tongue. He was good, better than good. My tongue also started to act on its own and decided to dance with JM's.

That was when I started falling. No, not falling in love. Literally falling. To the floor. Someone had opened the door I was leaning against, and JM fell right on top of me, his tongue still inside my mouth.

He hastily stood up, composed himself, and helped me up. "Are you okay?" he asked, massaging the back of my head.

I couldn't really answer him because I was mortified at the person who had opened the door: it was our company's CEO.

What the fuck is he doing in the Philippines? I glanced around and saw the people he was with. I recognized the owner of one of the biggest companies in the Philippines, the one we were trying to build a joint venture with.

"Good evening, Mr. Alvarez." said our CEO in Korean.

"Good evening, sir," I answered, bowing ninety degrees, not daring to look him in the eye.

I pulled JM aside to let my boss and his guests out. Other executives from our company were there, too, wearing the same pin all of our employees have on their dinner jackets. They were probably members of the board as I had never seen them on our floor before.

As soon as everyone was out, my boss turned to me and said, "I can see that you're enjoying your vacation." He cast a long and funny look at me and JM. "I suggest you continue enjoying your stay here."

"Sir?" I asked, dreading the next words that would come out of his mouth.

"Forever," he said and nodded himself out.