Chapter 5 - Elaine's POV

Elaine's POV

"Ela..Baby just listen to me.." mum's voice pierced my ears as I sat down on the bed broken into million pieces..

"No mum.. I don't want to listen to you.... You won't get any other answer than a 'No' from me...." Said I for the millionth time in a broken voice still with tears running down on my cheeks.

"Tell me. How could you do this to me...?" At least you could have asked me once...."

"I did this for your betterment.."

"For my betterment? For god's sake, How can that be for my goodness when you have decided to give me in a marriage for the sake of that damn deal...?"

"Don't say it my princess.." her voice merely came out.

"That's the truth here. Don't deny it mum... How could you do that to your own daughter...? Just tell me mum..." my heart was twisting with this new pain my mum recently caused me to go through..

"No...baby... It's not just because of the debt that your father had to pay for Xanders' I have agreed to this marriage... There is something more than that my baby..." I felt my mum's voice wobble with emotions.

No mum.. whatever the reason would be, I am really mad at you.. now...

"You know, I am your mum and I would have never agreed to give my daughter in a marriage just for a deal and just to pay the debts that my husband had left on me... You know, Nigel is the best and the most perfect man that I could propose for my daughter. I have known and heard about his great charisma... He is a tough boy, I know, but he has the respect for his mum... A boy who ever respects his mum, will never let his woman go through any worries and pain.. You know..what I try to tell you.. He will love you with all his heart and protect you my princess.. Just trust your mum.."

Oh God mum! How can I tell it?

"I--I don't want to marry this soon.. I am still twenty one..." I mananged to weave a lie...

"Oh baby.. That won't be a thing to worry about... Your mum got married at the age of eighteen and got pregnant with you at twenty... So I was a little behind you when comparing to your age... You are a brave girl and I know you can do this.. You will have a good life with Nigel. Trust me!" she said taking me to another world of pain that I could not contain myself from crying more and more. I didn't say anything as the twist in my heart was too much to bear.

Breaking the silence that had woven a tense layer of air between us my mum voiced.. "Is that the real reason you are afraid of..? Or you are still fearing to fall in love again?"

Oh mum! Don't make me weak.

I can't agree with this mum...

Because..Because I am already pregnant with a baby of a guy that I even don't know of..

If I said you that, you would never tolerate it...

''Ela.. Are you listening to me?" Her hands cupped my cheeks looking into my eyes and the love and careness that held in those orbs made me pierce to the heart with guilt. "Baby.. Tell me what is your answer?" I slightly brushed her hands off my face and looked away from her to the blank space.

I can't do this.. I can't marry him.

How I desperately wanna tell you about this mum.

I can't cheat on a man.

"Ela..Just tell me Yes or No.." my mum's voice touched the thinnest string of my heart. But I was too determined to abandon myself to her plea right now. Because if I did, I would lead my life to another hell.

God! I have never felt as weak as the way now I am...

Where have you led my life to?

I am at a point that I can't say even a 'Yes' for this and say that I am pregnant...to my own mother.

Mum how can I say this.?

What would your reactions be like.....

Instead of being happy about the pregnancy of your own daughter how can I let you go through a big issue already knowing your health condition.

If something bad happened to you I can't forgive myself.. I won't ever be able to pay for it till my death...

You know how hard I suffer now...

I could not muster any words up to give a flat answer to my mum. I was utterly confused with the mental agony my destiny has put me through and I felt a ripple of the mixtures of emotions altogether shot through my body losing the weight of the own phisique of mine that made me hold a tight grip of the sheets of my bed. Suddenly I felt the sudden dizziness hit me making my eyes blur. I clutched my head without letting myself fall off the bed...

''Ela...You okay..? What happened you my girl?" I felt a touch on my shoulders as I was closing my eyes fighting my drowsiness off....

"Ye--yeah I am--I am fine..." squeezing my eyes shut I slowly reclined against the bedhead... "Baby here, have this water..." as I felt a rim of a glass of water closer to my lips I started to sip at the water gulping them down slowly... Mum patted my hand soothingly... "How do you feel now? We'll call a doctor..."

"No mum... Don't... I am fine... No need of calling for a doctor..." refused I grabbing her hand... "It's because of the travelling thing, I guess..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah.... Some rest will help me."

"Well..baby.. If you feel so, just relax yourself..right?" I nodded.

Good time my mum didn't argue anymore.

Else there will be a possibility of knowing my pregnancy by the doctor...

"Take some rest.. Everything will be alright... We'll discuss the things later on..." said she standing up from my bed and then she kissed on my forehead before leaving the room.. As she went out, I let out a deep sigh of frustration... To my dismay, my life sucks.

A feeling of emptiness descended over me... I felt wretched about the things had turned out. I was beyond wondered about the facts how god has destined my life.. I had no idea what should be done next. What I knew was only to escape from this marriage thing.. I was too zoned out in my thoughts when my phone suddenly started buzzing.. I grabbed my phone off the night stand to see Kay's name popping out of the screen...

"Kay!" My own voice felt jittered....

"Ela... You okay...? Your voice says something to me.. Is everything okay over there?" My bestie knows the best... Filling my lungs up with air which mingled with worry, I let out an extreme sigh of unsatisfaction..

"No.. Nothing is okay.." I found myself talking with a broken voice to which she gave a shocked reaction..

"What do you mean? Did your mum know about your pregnancy?" She perplexed.

"No...Not that. You know...? Mum has settled a marriage for me..."

"What!" She almost yelled on the other side..

"Hey! Are you serious? What the hell is that?" I could imagine her worried reaction I would have seen if she was standing before me right now..

"Okay well. What was your answer?" She probed me like she had no idea what my answer would really be...

"What are you asking? It was a big 'No' and what could I have been said other than it?" I could not help the quiver in my voice..

"Yeah baby I know... But I have other thoughts?"

"Huh?"

"I know this is gonna piss you off. But babe listen up. I feel that this may be a turning point in your life..." she shot it out of nowhere taking my whole self aback.

What?

"What are you trying to imply?" Probed I with confusion expecting the answer which I was exactly assuming now...

"I mean... You can talk with him about this before you refuse the marriage. Then you can come to a decision..."

Urgh... If she were before me right now I would be punching on her.

She got my nerves on. Dammit!

"Are you seriously telling me that? No way Kay..." I thoroughly rejected as a spiral of anger seeped through my veins.

"Hey just listen up again. I know what you are thinking of. If you think of cheating or betraying thing, discussing about this with him will give a relief. Every simple guy will understand a girl's situation.." the tone of her voice had taken a tint of seriousness and there was no way that this girl was joking with me..

Oh god!

"If he were a simple guy this would have been changed and easy for me to handle.." I muttered to myself, but which would be loud enough to be heard by Kay...

"What do you mean?"

"Um.. You know who that guy is? It's Nigel... Nigel Xander...." even the mere utterance of his name sent a wave of panic through my body.

"What! Nigel Xander. You mean the CEO of Xander Shipping Co-operation? Oh my! Oh my god! How did that happen?" She was extra especially shocked now..

"A long story!" I said not wanting to lead the discussion about him furthermore..

"Cut the cr*p and give me in brief..." I knew she was more than excited to lend her ears to absorb this bull sh*t...

"It's not an important thing now..." I brushed it off.

"Seriously huh? You are going to marry one of the hottest and the arrogant business men in this whole universe, but telling me it is not an imporatnt thing... Are you f****** insane?"

"Kay!" My voice turned to be a reproaching one... "For me he is not an important one, cause I barely know that guy and how do you expect me to marry him?" I felt my eyes burn with the unshed tears which had cumulated in my tear ducts hoping to flow down in the next second... 

I f****** had sex with an unknown guy and it has caused me what I am going through now and what am I to do with this new guy after marrying?

It will be another freaking hell which would end up with a divorce..

So do I need to put myslelf in the temptation?

"I know my girl what you mean.. Okay! Think of yourself and the baby. What if the guy you slept with returns back some day knowing about his baby and you are still being single so that he asks you to marry him?" My breath was caught in my lungs as her question which came out of the blue took my life out of me for awhile...

His baby?

No... I couldn't even stand it as Kay said 'His baby'...  My trembling hand literally fell over my already flattened stomach to realize the f****** truth which would unwrap before many of my closest ones in near future... I won't be able to stand it, if the biological father of my baby filed a case to take the custody of him. I couldn't even imagine myself crying begging for my baby who was being taken away from my life forever.

"So that time also you're gonna reject him?" Kay asked tweaking my weakened self out of the train of my thoughts. But I composed myself before answering..

If that's what my destiny wants..

"Yes! I am..." I threw it out like a bullet..

"No Ela.. It would not be that easy. Use your brain.. He would either force you to marry him or snatch your baby away from you forever."

"No I would not let that happen. If you are trying to convince me that marrying Nigel would change everything, for god's sake I say that won't change anything a bit. It will make the things worse..."

"God! Still didn't you get it my dear. It will, believe me... Cause you are going to marry Nigel Xander.. Not an ordinary one nor a simple guy... The most powerful man who can get many men or women on to their knees within a second.. So if you are married to him, your baby will have a father; that's Nigel Xander along with his name and this guy we are still unaware of you spent that night with would never force you to marry nor snatch the baby. Because he would know the power of Nigel Xander and knowing that you are the wife of him, not him nor any other man on this earth would try to touch you or the baby..." Kay said continuously like a mother who was advising her stubborn kid.. But it was like a tornado that was stirring the inner turmoil within me..

What Kay was trying to imply me was half true.. But I couldn't bring myself to the point where I would be marrying Nigel.

"You got me?" As the silence fell over our line Kay probed me as she was still waiting for my uncertain answer.

"Though it is something that brings a name or father to my baby I can't do this. You know about me Kay. So... Please. Try to understand. And how can I expect a third person to give a name to my baby. I can't precisely say that he will love my baby like a real father either...." I heaved a sigh before continuing my words again.... "My baby will understand when he grows up to a mature he doesn't own a father but me; his both mother and father..."

"Okay...fine... Now that you are in a big stress, your decisions have the effect of it. So take your time to think of it and get better decision for yourself...."

"Hm..." I just hummed as a reply.

"But keep the words to explain how you met your guy after you came here.. And think once more before you take your final desicion, by the way. May be inside of that arrogant CEO can have a heart that melt. So discuss the thing with him."

"He is not my guy.." I did almost rumble at her meaningless statement.

"We'll see..." she chuckled before hanging up.

I literally drowned myself in the pool of thoughts about what last said by Kay. One thing was true except settling the things down with him..

Yes! I need to talk to him.

Talk about my pregnancy and I must make him clear about the thing of revoking the deal. He will understand it and let go of me. But I have to make it a point to not let my mum know anything about this nor our discussion that I am gonna have with Mr.Xander.

Shaking my thoughts off my skull, I wrenched my mind back out of the reverie of my thoughts. Then changing myself into a casual dress, I went down the stairs where my mum was making meal for me. It's already six in the evening.

"Mum..." at my sudden call mum turned back..

"Baby... You feel better now...?" asked she gathering me into her arms and kissing on my left temple..

"Yeah... Totally fine..." She gave a crinkling smile whilst cupping my cheeks before involving herself back in her work again..

How can I start that? I was shaking with nervousness... "May I help you?" I said drawing myself closer to the counter next to her.

"Oh no baby.. I am almost done.. You can have your dinner when the chicken spaghetti is done..." she said still focussing her attention on the spaghetti she was making.

"Well mum... Um.." I gulped the thick lump in my throat inaudibly before starting.. "I need to talk with you..." I said fidgeting with the top button of my shirt. One of inherent and conventional behaviours of mine, I sumerged myself in when I am too nervous or flushed about something that I am scared of facing.

"About what?" Mum's face lifted  upward stopping her work in the mid.

There was an utter silence before I said what I wanted to talk about...

"About Ni-Nigel..."

Oh sh*t!! Why is it too difficult say his name aloud?

"Nigel..!" Mum literally turned her face towards me to see I was fidgeting with my fingers that were still glued onto the button of my shirt.

"Ela my baby.. Are you flushing or something? I hope you're gonna say something that my ears eagerly waiting to listen to.... Have you changed your mind or are you still in the same decision?" She probed enthusiastically as she came closer to me.

Kay and Mum have got the same power of doing effects on my life.

"Um.. well... yeah kinda changed.." I found my voice say something that surprised me even.

"Oh god! What! Did I hear it clearly? You say you like him...." her eyes grew bigger as she was over the ninth cloud by just listening to my pretending answer.

"Not actually liking.... but trying to get myself into that...." said I in a bit kind of hesitation trying to catch my own words up...

"Oh my! Oh my! You know how happy l am.. Ela.. I am realy proud of you baby.. " overjoyed her embraced me all at once..

"Mum... Can I talk with him...?"

"Why not baby.. Anytime..."

"Um..well....er"

"What matters you my girl...? Tell me, Are you sure that you like to give a try on this?"

I slightly nodded.

"Why are you looking so shy? What do y----" Mum cut her own words off. "Oh! What a fool I am. You wanna talk with him and so you need to have his number... I am sorry baby. I totally forgot it cause I quite lost my senses as my daughter made me the happiest mum in the world.." As she said she ran inside her room with her glowing smile. Her words pierced to my heart making it bleed with the cut I myself let it take birth there within me.

I am really really sorry mum.

I have to do this...

I know you would not forgive me.

******

As I came in my room with his number in my hand I closed the door and locked it. Perching on the edge of my bed, I grabbed my phone out which was lying under my pillow. As I took the phone in my hand, I started dialing his number and suddenly stopped and cut the call remembering his aloof looks I saw lesser than three four hours ago...

What would I ask him?

Finally I found my phone buzz and my gaze dropped down on my phone to see him calling back me.

Oh no..no... What the hell did I do?

In a sudden urge I cut back the call. But I must talk with him anyway.

Well a text message would be much rather easier and expressive than a phone call. It would help my nervousness. Else I have no idea what I would be talking with him...

Less confidence...

In the next seconds I found myself typing with my trembling fingers.

Me: Hi! It's me Elaine Steinfield. Typed, I tapped on the sending button. As I got the delivery report my heart thumped rapidly against my chest.

Okay El! Just be relaxed..

Time passed by.

One minute...

Two minute...

Okay... Now it's been five minutes..

Yet didn't I get any reply.

Well! He doesn't wanna have any contact with me other than this dealt marriage. I felt some kinda different feeling sit back on my chest arising the pang deep within me.

So why am I f****** worried about it?

Well! That's none of my business.

Another freaking five minutes passed by. Now it has almost been more than ten minutes from the time I sent him the message. The time I thought of having a nap suddenly my phone buzzed and in a sudden urge I grabbed it off the night stand and checked on the message.

You talked with him?

Oh shit! It's Kay...

I simply typed.

Not yet. But have to...

After I sent her a reply I was waiting for the reply; I could not figure it out whether it was Kay's or Nigel's, but ultimately I had fallen asleep unawares.

When I woke up it was too late and I still with my drowsy eyes ran my hand next to my pillow to grab the phone to check the time and as my fingers finally collected the phone, I half opened my eyes to see I had received three texts... I literally snapped open my eyes and came to a sitting position on the bed there itself. I swiped on the screen and went through my inbox rubbing the sleep off my eyes.

One from Kay... I sent a quick reply the second I read it and then switched to the other two messages which had been sent by whom, guess, my eyes just plopped out the sooner they got landed on his name....

Nigel Xander....

Finally!