Chapter 8. Denial

I didn't like telling people. I didn't like looking at people either, so it's not like I had many people to tell.

I yawned softly, drawing the attention of several other walking past me as they too yawned. I guess it was true that a yawn was contagious then, that made me smile just a little. I hurried on through the light rain, city streets a vivid picture of busy lives all around me.

You might ask me a simple question, why would a psychic that hates her abilities live somewhere so packed? Well, my answer to that is that people tend to drown each other out. Sure, there's a constant buzz in the back of my mind, but if I were to live in the country and chance upon someone? Tends to mean that I know a lot more about that individual than they know about themselves.

I slid a little in an unexpected wet patch, falling before a set of hands reached out and grabbed my waist, steadying me. Warmth and worry consumed me, emanating from the individual that saved me. I looked up and- dear lord my other reason for living in the city was staring right back at me.

"You should probably try to focus a little more Miranda, you nearly walked right past our building."

I blushed, realising as I looked around that I had in fact nearly walked straight past the lecture hall for my course.

Eliza just grinned at me, her dazzling, blinding smile.

"Right... well... uh, hard to see where you're going when the weather is so bad"

She scoffed at me, grabbing my hand and dragging me into the building.

"Now we both know you don't need your eyes to see."

Eliza was the only person that knew about what I could do after walking in on me, totally out of it in a vision in the private university bathrooms. Of course, she thought I was either high or having a seizure. Right as she went to call the ambulance, I reached out faster than I even realised I could move, grabbed her arm and accidentally pulled her right into the vision with me. She'd promised to keep it a secret, not being as freaked out as I'd thought she would be, and since then she's stayed as close to me as possible.

"Oh be quiet, you know that it's selective, never tells me the important stuff."

"That vision was pretty important."

She was right about that at least, the vision I had accidentally bought her into showed a teacher slipping and falling down the stairs during a stroke, and we got there in time to catch him, avoiding even more serious injury and then calling an ambulance.

"Yeah but still a pain in the ass, they made such a big deal out of it, those awards were so unnecessary."

She laughed, pushing me into the loud lecture hall.

"It was a big deal, you saved someone's life."

"Are we still talking about your heroic actions?"

I blanched as Jessie showed up, an A grade asshole who had no clue that I knew he cheated on pretty much every girl he got with.

I watched as he wrapped his arm around Eliza's arm, giving her puppy eyes which resulted in me scowling.

"I see you're still alive Jessie, want me to fix that?" I growled. Get your arm off her!

He pressed a hand over his heart, or, where he thought it was, he put his hand on the wrong side.

"Oh Miranda you wound me," he whined in an annoying pitched tone as Eliza pushed him away, making me all too smug.

"Yeah I'd like to."

The professor walked in then, glaring at everyone who made noise and we took our seats, Eliza looking bored and myself feeling agitated as I glared at Jessie across the room.

"Quit glaring, I'm not into him." Eliza whispered to me.

"I know, he slept with the female gym professor on Friday, I can't tell but I think he's got an STD now."

Eliza covered her mouth, laughing quietly.

"Oh wow, seriously?!"

I smirked, relaxing in my chair as I finally turned to pay attention to the professor, ranting about the divine creation that is English literature. Right.

Eliza's arm pressed against my arm as the lecture came to an end an hour later as we stood to leave, and I gasped as my head started to spin, my legs instantly pushing past all the other with the need to find a quiet place. I collapsed in the first quiet empty room I could, an unused section of the university. My eyes saw what was around me, but not, and as the vision took over, I heard fast footsteps come my way.

Eliza was in front of me, but not in the university. It looked like my apartment, and she wasn't just standing in front of me. She pressed against me, hands sliding over my bare skin, lips pressing over my neck softly, hands moving up to cup my breasts-

"Miranda! Miranda talk to me!" Eliza. But the vision continued.

Her hand scraped down my back while her other one rubbed over one of my nipples, body pressing me against my apartment wall-

Eliza reached out towards me, wanting to see what I was.

"No!" I couldn't let her see-

I whimpered as Eliza's mouth latched onto the sensitive nipple, long silvery grey dyed hair brushing against my skin.

"So beautiful" She whispered. "I'm so sorry"

I managed to pull out of the vision, but it was too late and the damage was done, Eliza recoiled, pulling her hand away from me as I glared shakily at her.

"Oh" She said. Her tone was flat, almost cold, and fear so violent raced through me I felt nauseated. I watched as she stood, turned, and walked out. I couldn't even cry out for her to come back and I was left, ruined and shaky in the middle of an empty classroom.

My eyes filled out and the tears spilled down my face. Why did this have to happen?

It was two weeks before I saw her again. She wasn't in lectures, she wasn't in classes, she wasn't even at university.

I left her multiple messages because she never picked up the phone, usually crying and begging her to talk to me, telling her that visions can change and just please stay my friend.

But there was never an answer.

The first day of break I cleaned my apartment, lighting a few soothing candles late in the afternoon and watching the sun set. I had nothing to do, nowhere to be, and I was still heartbroken. The last voice message I left for Eliza just said "I love you, and I'm sorry". I wasn't entirely sure what I was apologising for, perhaps for glaring at her when I shut off the vision, perhaps for harassing her... or just for being alive.

I sighed again, hugging my knees. I was only wearing shorts and a bustier, the weather was too warm to wear much else, and I lived alone anyway, why should I put on more clothes when I'm alone?

The answer to my thought came by a knock on the door, and after a moment of indecision I decided to just open the door in my current state.

"Hell-Eliza?" My eyes widened, her downtrodden figure standing in my doorway as she bit her lip.

"Hi Miranda... can we talk?"

I nodded, stepping aside to let her in.

"I came to apologize... I've been... stupid."

I went to reply, most likely to argue, but she shook her head and stopped me.

"Don't say it... I have been stupid... stupid and in denial. What I saw... Well, it showed me that I really couldn't keep telling myself that I didn't feel anything for you. My parents were Catholic, and not the nice kind either. They died when I was 12 but it's like I can still hear them, shouting at gays that they were sinners and going to hell, and telling me that If I liked girls I'd burn in hell. After you had that vision... I went to visit my adoptive parents... I ended up talking to mum, about liking you... I just said that something about us being together came up and that I ran away."

She laughed softly then, shaking her head.

"She called me stupid and told me to get back here and beg for your forgiveness... and so here I am... I could never ask for you to forgive me though... Just ask for you to understand... and tell you that I love you."

I swallowed, staring at her in near disbelief.

"I.... what?"

She looked at me, meeting my eyes.

"You didn't see this coming?"

I shook my head.

"Visions are selective."

She smiled, moving closer cautiously.

"I guess they only show the truly important things then."

The tears fell from my eyes then and we met halfway, her lips pressing against mine, soft and sweet and showing me how desperate she was for the forgiveness that she could not ask for.

"I love you," she whispered, her lips meeting mine again and again as she backed me into the wall.

I bit her lip as her nails dug into my hips, my back arching and my breasts against hers, and her emotions of love, nerves and need steadily washing over me.

"I need you," I whispered back to her, she knew I loved her, and I could show her more with my body than I could with words.

Eliza slid her hands up my back, she sounds of kissing and my bustier zip echoing around the room as she pulled the small piece of clothing from me. Everything became familiar then as she kissed my neck, and I knew that she could feel it too. Her hand that had removed my bustier scraped down my back, and her hand cupped my breast as she rubbed over my nipple. This was a vision come true.

Her mouth closed over a nipple, and the whimper escaped me, untied hair brushing over my skin like I felt in the vision two weeks ago.

"So beautiful," she spoke quietly against my skin, fingers working to remove my shorts. "I'm so sorry."

I shivered, pulling her up for a hard kiss, trying to show how I had already forgiven her, and my shorts along with my black lace panties fell to the ground. I felt her hands on my ass, picking me up and wrapping my legs around her, which was an easy feat considering how she towered over me.

She walked to the bedroom, allowing me to attack her neck with kisses before she threw me down onto my queen bed and crawled on top of me.

"I've been thinking about this-" she kissed my neck, open mouthed "-since before we even spoke, though I tried to deny it and-" she ran her hand up the inside of my thigh, my legs falling open for her "- thought about it even more since I got on the plane to get back here to you".

I mewled softly as her finger found my wet folds, slipping between them.

"And now I'm going to show you just how much I've thought about this."