Chapter 9

“LET’S play hide and seek, sweetie. Mommy will count from one to ten and you will find a place to hide, all right? Stay there until I find you.”

The eleven-year-old Talia nearly jumped for joy upon hearing what Alegra, her Mother had told her. Her eyes shone. It had been so long since they last played together. Even if they were under the same roof, she hardly sees her Mother since the latter was always holed up in the master’s bedroom. Her Father was also busy in his work that’s why she was constantly accompanied by her Yaya Sela, the old woman who had been working for the San Valentin family long before Talia’s parents got married. That was also the reason why she was really excited now. Her Mother rarely approached her.

Talia changed her mind just when she was about to hide. She went back to her Mother instead. She caught the latter busy wiping her tears. Talia rushed to her Mother’s side, worried.

“Mommy, why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?”

“It’s nothing, sweetie. The wind just got through my eyes. Why did you come back? I thought you wanted to play?”

“I want to ask you something, Mommy. Can I do that?”

“Of course.” Alegra said with a smile. “You can ask Mommy anything.”

“Mommy, do you… do you love me?”

Talia’s classmates at school kept questioning her about her parents, especially about her Mother since they never saw Alegra even once unlike her classmates who were often picked up by their Mothers. Many times, she would come home crying and would knocked in her Mother’s room to feel comforted but the latter never opened the door for her. Yaya Sela said that it was only because her Mother was going through something.

Still, Talia was beginning to lose confidence. She was beginning to wonder, too, whether she was loved by her Mother. At least, her Father would still chat with her at the dining area every breakfast.

Her Mother was taken aback by her question. After a while, Talia was surprised when her Mother suddenly embraced her. She brightly smiled as she embraced her Mother back. It was the first time her Mommy embraced her like this. And it felt so good. Her Daddy rewarded her for being on top of her class again. He bought her new toys and jewelries. But she felt like her Mommy’s embrace was the real deal. In that moment, all her jealousy towards her classmates had disappeared.

Talia was always on top of her class, but her Mother never showed up during recognition days unlike her classmates. Yaya Sela was very proud of her, too, and she would embrace Talia, too, during those moments. But she liked her Mommy’s embrace better.

“You are my flesh and blood. Of course, Mommy loves you, Talia. It’s impossible not to love someone as beautiful and as endearing as you. It’s just that sometimes, I wish… I wish you were born normal.”

“Why? Is something wrong with me, Mommy?”

“No. It’s not that. It was Mommy’s fault. I shouldn’t have said that. Forget you ever heard that, okay?” Alegra smiled. “I love you, sweetie. I love you so much. Whatever happens, don’t forget that.”

Talia flashed her sweetest smile. “I won’t. I love you, too, Mommy.”

“I know. That’s why Mommy is very thankful. Thank you, sweetie. Happy birthday.”

“Talia, are you okay?”

Talia stopped reminiscing the instant she heard Idris’ voice. It was then when she remembered that they were still inside her car. She was beside him on the passenger seat while he was driving.

Today was Talia’s twenty-eight birthday and they were on the way to meet her mother whom she had not seen for eighteen straight years which meant that the two of them had been playing hide and seek for that long now. It was supposed to be a simple game but Alegra took it seriously that Talia was not able to see even her shadow afterwards. The ten-year-old her went to hide inside her closet. But Alegra never came to find her.

When she finally came out of her room, she saw Alegra running away along with her suitcase. Talia ran to her but it was too late. At that time, her Mother already hopped inside the cab. That was the last time she saw her mother.

At that time, Talia had lots of questions. Did her mother get bored playing with her? Or did she hide herself too well that in the end, her mother gave up in trying to find her? Despite all that, she still waited for Alegra every night, hoping she would come back because Alegra promised to find her. Talia was so silly back then to think that her Mother was still playing with her. But her mother was merciless. She never showed up again. Alegra sent a lawyer in their mansion to process the annulment papers which her Father signed later on.

What happened afterwards devastated her father. That was when his addiction to gambling started, he no longer went to work until rumors about their family business going bankrupt circulated one day. Talia was thirteen then. Her father was forced to mortgage most of their properties to pay his debts. But when her father decided to go back to the office, everything miraculously went well. After a few weeks, he was able to pay all of his debts and was able to claim back their properties. Some people even said that her father probably sold his soul to the devil to pay up his enormous debts. But her father did not seem to mind the rumors and so did she.

It was after that incident when the two of them finally became closer. He began spending more time with her. They would often have breakfast and dinner together. They never talked about her Mother, it was like they had a silent agreement not to talk about her, but Talia caught him drunk many times while looking at their wedding portrait. And then their previous conversation that she once overheard would pop in her mind, making her wonder if she was the real reason why her parents separated.

“I talked to the maids. They said that you still refused to leave this room. You never go out to talk to our daughter!” Marco clenched his jaw. “We are living under one roof and yet, you could not even take care of her! Sela talked to me and told me that Talia is being bullied in school! I am trying my best to provide for our family. You must do your part, too. But what the hell have you been doing, Alegra? Why are you being so hard on her? Talia is your daughter, too, for heaven’s sake! I don’t think I need to remind you that!”

Alegra’s tears fell as she lowered her head. “That’s the problem. I never should have let her live, Marco. Being her mother is a wound that I think I will forever carry in my heart.”