Chapter 8: Dear Diary

Louis xx Pov

I woke up Harry sleeping beside me ... he looks so peaceful

I looked at his features ... and his so familiar i can't seem to put my finger on it

I must have been hallucinating ... why wouldn't i be hallucinating ... out of nowhere your missing boyfriend is missing ... and you feel like you don't want him to be here but at the same time, you want him to be here ... I'm confusing myself

I know i got over Harry already ... and I'm trying to move on from him ... but now he's back

I don't know what to do ... I know for sure I've fallen in love with Marcel

Marcel.... MARCEL!?!?!?

Omigod we forgot about him?? ... Where could he be!!

I quickly stood up careful not to wake up Harry.. i wrote him a note and quickly changed my clothes

I called the lads who were chilling downstairs

"Boys we forgot about Marcel!? Where do you think he is?" I asked them worried

He looked at me with worried faces ... they like Marcel -as a friend-they just didn't want to admit.

We all panicked and went straight to every place he could have been we went to the 5sos boys

They all said the same thing "we haven't seen him"

After 5 hours of searching the boys got exhausted and went to get something to eat I didn't come

I went to the woods trying to think of places he could have been I looked at the trees and took a deep breath

I sat under a tree and hugged my legs ... suddenly tears rushed down my face

"Marcel where are you? ... I hope you ok?"

Harry xx Pov (aka Marcel Pov)

I woke up to find no one beside me i looked at my side and found a note

Haz,

Hey Babe sorry i left early i am looking for a friend of mine his name is Marcel you wouldn't know him ... I'm just worried, he didn't come home ... I'll explain everything to you later ok babe

Love you,

-L x

I read it again ... i can't believe it Louis is worried for me ... Does he actually care?

But why? He said he hated me ... ok, maybe I exaggerated a bit ... but he rejected me and that's the same as hating me ... right?

I have so many things in my mind for the past few days ... I have to write this down

I went to my room -Marcel's Room-and got my Diary under my bed

I went back to Louis and I's room and found a good place to write

Dear Diary,

These past few days have been very hard for me ... I'm so confused and guilty i don't even know what to do anymore.

Ok so first Louis rejected me and said Harry broke his heart ... but he doesn't want anyone except Harry ... i don't get it, It's not like he's protecting me or something right?

So i dressed up as Harry Styles aka Louis's boyfriend and i don't even know how i do this ... i can't believe i can act this good for Louis to believe me ... but i never did explain why i did this though

I only did this because i feel like if i don't do anything just to see Louis happy with me ... Then i won't be happy or contented with my life ... I just feel like this would all be worth it somehow because i learned many things about Louis ... even though just for a short time ... and i finally got a chance to be with him even though this isn't the real me.

Well, Diary as you can see I'm really confused I don't know what to do now ... i can't forever hide right... Louis will find out the truth somehow ... someday ... so i would make these days when he doesn't know about me ... worth it.

I hope ... it will all be worth it.

- M x

I tried closing my diary but it won't budge i saw a scrap of paper hanging from the front of it

I tried fixing it but it stripped out a pack of paper in a bundle fell from my diary

What is this? I picked it up ... and read a page ... it was old paper but not too old to be read

Dear Diary,

I feel awful of what i did to him ... I love him so much ... maybe i should leave him

I bet his life would be so much better without me

Why do i have to be so unstable ... if only i could control my emotions, my feelings

Who i am ... but i can't and i hate it ... Diary if i leave him would i be doing the right thing?

I thought he cheated on me... but i found out i was the one cheating on him

Diary ... why can't i remember these things

This will be last entry i guess ... for now ... I'll tear my diary into pages and bundle it so no one can find it ... Maybe he can find it ... maybe ... I hope

If you're reading this ... I love you so much i never meant to leave you I love you

Love,

-

There was a knock on the door interrupting me