Pain

"They are just jealous over you."

By that, Karella grabbed my cart and requested the list in my hands. I gave it to her since I did not think I could manage to buy for more, knowing many people did not want to see me in this place.

"Actually, I am pleased that I met you. So please, don't be uncomfortable with me."

I nodded at her words. All I could say was that she was not too kind or too bad. All I knew was the good treatment she was showing to me was real, and I was thankful for that. If she did not come, I might still be stuck in one place, not knowing where to go.

"Is this your first time buying foods?"

There was no choice if I would lie, so I nodded.

"Next time, you should bring your bodyguard for more protection."

My bodyguards were just waiting outside this store.

I looked at nothingness at what I had heard. "What do you mean by that? How come you know I have ones?'

"Well, I had become part of the Brooks family. And there is no denying they like to overreact. They hired bodyguards for me before. And now that I am with you, I can't help but reminisce."

Was it a good thing that we met or the other way around? Based on her speaking, I could sense the little love towards Xy. And that alarmed me. Was she not moved on? Has she still had the plan to love him again? And if that happened, what would happen to me?

"Hey, you seem like you misunderstand everything. The truth is, I have moved on, when in fact, I am also getting married."

"Wow," was all I could say. "Congratulations."

"Congratulations to both of us. So about what I said, are your bodyguards just around?"

I said that I intentionally commanded them not to come too close to me. I meant that leaving meters distance between us mattered the most for me not to catch everybody's attention.

"Finally! I am done buying all that is on the list!"

I laughed back at her. God, I was surprised. If I were here, it would take me longer to buy! "Thank you. I don't know what to do if you are not here."

"You are always welcome. I see you as my family, so please don't mind asking for my help."

I did not answer. Well, there was nothing wrong with her words, right? But why did I feel like I did not like the word 'family'? She's getting married, right, but why did she seem still devoted to Brooks family?

"Hey, can I ask a favor? I still have more time before I go back home. Is it okay with you if I invite you for lunch? You know ... It's already noon."

I agreed. We went into an expensive restaurant. I saw my bodyguards slightly taking their lunch by the following table.

And the realization hit me. I did not know, but I still felt tense even though I had enough money to pay for our food. Should I be the one who paid our orders? Or was it below the belt if she was the one who would pay for me?

"You look too innocent. Are you came from a Province?"

"Yes, I have used to live there together with my Auntie. And, actually, until now, I still can't believe that I am going to be married."

"Well, everyone is still confused about your relationship with Brooks. But, I guess, your family is very rich."

Very rich? My family? Did I still have one?

"What do you mean by that?" My eyebrows were rose in confusion.

"Do you know that I was engaged to Xlyde before for business purposes? I just thought that maybe your family has a very very strong connection with Brooks family."

"I think that is impossible. I have not still met my parents."

"Oh, God, I am sorry, I did not know."

I just smiled at her.

Our orders came.

During days of living with Brooks, I already encountered expensive dishes just like what I saw now. I was glad I was already practiced enough how to use and handle eating tools so that I would not look so bad in her front.

"You know... Your wedding is the talk of the town. My sister stalked you on social media but it seems like you are not active in any social media platform."

"I really do not like to post my pictures. It makes me feel weird."

We both laughed and started eating. If I were a man, I would gladly like this girl. I meant, she's humble, kind, generous. She's well-packaged. She shared her talent in music and sport, and I was too stunned to speak.

"Have you heard him singing a song for you?" We both knew that I was talking about Xy.

"Too bad, but I haven't. He once shared that he likes singing, but I think no one still hears him doing so. How are you? Have you heard him singing?"

"He even threw dagger looks at me when I tried to enter his music room."

"Wow! He is still the Xlyde I know then. The man who doesn't share his talent to anyone."

"Do you feel bad that he doesn't want you to hear him singing? Because, I do, I always do."

She stared at me for seconds, and for a rare moment of my life, I dreamed of reading her thoughts. "I always do, Philie. But I had loved him too deeply for me to have a disappointment over him."

I shook my head. Honestly, my heart was now aching, jealous by the fact that there was a big possibility that she still loved him, and maybe... They still were devoted to each other.

"Can I ask a question, though?"

I looked at her meaningfully. "What is it?"

"Can I talk to Xlyde?"

Did she mean my soon-to-be husband? What for, though? What were they going to talk about?

But... She's nice to me. She could actually hate me as I was with her past lover's ex. I could say no to her.

"Of course, he's in the mansion right now, I guess. Can I ask... What are you going to say to him?"

I laughed mentally as I sounded so bitter. The stuttering tone of my voice sounded so clear.

"Don't worry; I will just talk about him for you know ... Closure. I have no plan to get him back if that is what you are thinking."

Well. She really answered my unsaid question. But why did I still feel incomplete? Like I was not that satisfied with her answers? Or was it just me who's overreacting here? Was I feeling so jealous? Yes, Xlyde and I were going to be married, but we were still not romantically in a relationship.

"Hey, I am sorry if I offend you. Maybe I will just talk to him next time," she chuckled without humor. "If I were you, I would still react differently. I am so sorry for my behavior, Philie." Her beautiful eyes twinkled, apologizing.

"You need closure with him," I announced without strength. "... ;efore we get married, so everything is settled. What do you think?"

"Well, that is such good news to me! Thanks, Philie, you are so kind."

She told some stories, which included why she did not talk to Xlyde before, it was because she could not find the right timing since Xlyde was so busy in his work and Madam hated her appearance. My jaw was dropped as I listened to her stories and...painful rants.

Her sister was so devoted to Xlyde, and she was the one who chose to sacrifice her feelings. The story I had listened to was not just new to me since I already read it in so many romance novels, but right now, it hit differently.

She shared that Madam started loathing her since she broke up with Neil. The Brooks family knew nothing about her sacrifice and she had no plan in confessing the truth because she did not want to hurt her sister's feelings. What was more, it shocked me that her sister wished me to death. That sister of hers was in love with Xlyde, and she wanted to be in my position.

"I also encourage her just to let go of Xlyde since he is getting married. Aside from that, he doesn't have any feelings towards my sister. And, honestly, that hurt me as well, knowing he kept rejecting my sister."

"What if she does not stop liking my fiance?"

"I will do my best. That is why I want to talk to him regarding this thing. I do believe he's the only one who can make my sister calm down. He is the only one who can make my sister realize that he is not the man for her..." I noticed the changes in her voice. She was affected by her sister's feelings. And I could not blame her for sacrificing her relationship for her love towards her sister. "And now, I am glad that the man we love is going to be with someone who's an epitome of kindness. Please, Philie, take care of him for us."

I nodded. This conversation was killing me. We hoped inside our car. My bodyguard was also our driver. Minutes of thinking, all I could think of was Xlyde and his possible reaction once he saw her ex-lover. Would he fall for her deeper?

I agreed to her favor for one thing: to test Xlyde if he still had feelings over her. I was obsessed with his impression of seeing her face. I was searching for sparks between them.

"We are here," I announced the obvious. I got out of the car first, and she followed suit. She seemed no longer new in this face as a sign she had been there so many times.

"I miss being with this place," I heard her, and I just let it pass as my eyes caught Xy in a balcony, having his tea, his eyes looking at the vast sky. His aura made my heart race so much that I did not notice we were already in front of him. And they were staring at each other. And the thing I was worried about earlier were now happening...

I held my chest. What's happening? Why was I so affected just because they stared at each other for too long?

"I am sorry if I came here without alarming you. The thing is, I met Philie in a store earlier, and she's nice to me. You are so lucky!"

Calm down, my heart, as they were just talking. Please, stop putting any malice in them being so close to each other.

"What have you said to her?"

God. It was just six words, but since it came to him, it became too meaningful, too meaning that it could hurt a heart.

"I have just told her the things she must know. She is your soon-to-be wife, and she has the right to know what was in between us. But, I am here not to beg for you to come back in my life. I am here for closure." She shifted her head on me. "I have her permission to, so I am glad."

"I will leave you two here. Please be comfortable with each other. Just call me when you are done talking..." I looked at him, hoping to notice he did, too, but his eyes were still on hers. "Okay, bye..."

I turned my body around. And for the first time in my life, I managed to cry without making any sound for people around me not to notice I was in pain.