fourth day

I woke up I don't know how long afterwards the curtains were drawn I looked around me the dress from the night before was resting on a chair the tiara with the matching earrings were there on the piece of furniture then I looked at myself I was wearing a slip I wasn't in my nightgown this meant that....I had fallen asleep in his arms and then he had undressed me and put me to bed.

I got up to open the windows outside the sky was covered with black clouds, a hurricane sky, just like I felt now.

I got dressed with the intention of going downstairs I already had my hand on the door handle when I heard a scream coming from the next room so I went to the secret door to hear it but I couldn't hear anything so I moved the painting just enough to look inside the room I could see them from behind Fabrizio had his fists on the desk and his head down and Fabian was next to him with one arm on his shoulders

"I can't try to understand I promised him."

"Fabian you don't understand she cried herself to sleep and even when she was asleep she was sobbing I was with her all night only now she has calmed down and I came here and called you" I didn't know what to do whether to go in, wait or leave and in the end I waited to see what happened

"Am I mistaken or has something happened since the last time we spoke?" my brother asked.

"No, you're not wrong and frankly I didn't think that being in love was like this I can't stand being without her or seeing her suffer so much I feel like I'm in a dream and I'm afraid that if I open my eyes everything will disappear.

"you know I didn't make you like this after all the crazy things we did together"

"that's the past now I couldn't do it anymore"

"you know that for me you are the brother I didn't have, but I can't tell you anything, talk to him because it won't be easy for her either .... be brave" he said, clapping a hand on my shoulder in a friendly manner and left.

I looked at him for another minute, undecided what to do, but when I saw him put his fist on the desk and sit down with his head in his hands, I went to him and stroked his hair.

I sat on his lap and hugged him tightly I needed to feel his warmth who knows he might not have been able to melt that weight I had on my heart after a while he asked me

"How do you feel?"

"A little better" I said with a lump in my throat "You?"

"I'm fine" he said lying

"You can't tell... are you sure?"

"Yes ... I'm ... sure..." but there was uncertainty in his voice.

"Don't lie to me," I said seriously.

"alright" she blurted out "I don't like seeing you feeling bad I don't like seeing you crying like last night I suffer because I'd like to make you happy all the time instead I feel helpless in front of your suffering and I don't like that feeling and then I feel guilty because I knew they were coming and I forgot to tell you, but when I'm with you I can't think clearly" she spoke in one breath I was moved by her words but I asked anyway

"and why was Fabian here".

"Did you see him," he said.

"yes, I was coming in and I heard you talking so I waited for him to leave".

"then you also know why he came," he said fidgeting in his chair.

"I can imagine, but I wish you'd tell me", he couldn't sit up anymore, he made me go and started walking back and forth across the room, finally he stopped in front of me and bluntly said "can you tell me what your father told you yesterday to make you like that?

The trouble was now that having heard what Fabian had said and what he had told me I didn't have the courage to tell him how I could...I opened my mouth twice to speak but my voice wouldn't come out anymore.

"Damn it, Angelica, I have a right to know what the hell".

I went to the window. Maybe if I didn't look at him, it would be easier to tell him. I looked outside. It started raining.

"Do you really want to know?" I finally managed to say.

"Yes."

"He said that..." I couldn't go on. He came over and grabbed me by the shoulders. "That..."

"that in the summer...." and. I burst into tears again he hugged me and simultaneously asked "what will happen in the summer?"

"there will be my debut in society"

" so what! " he said not understanding

"after...after...."

"Angelica I'm losing my patience what will happen after your debut in society" I looked at him I couldn't bear to tell him so I ran to my room and threw myself on the bed crying I felt the mattress move and I understood that he had arrived he took me in his arms softly as if I were a child could he have understood? I asked myself I tried to control myself it was right that he should know too so when I had calmed down I looked at him he was angry and sad at the same time.

I sat on the bed, closed my eyes and took two deep breaths, when he opened them again his eyes were fixed on me.

"Don't interrupt me because it's already hard to say and I don't know if I can do it, OK? "he didn't speak, he just nodded his head without taking his eyes off me "he said that after my debut he would find me a suitable husband and that he didn't care if I liked him or not .... I just had to obey" he was petrified by my words I threw my arms around his neck and even hesitated to hug me

"I don't want Fabri I want to be with you "hearing these words he squeezed me so tightly that I lost my breath.

"kiss me ... I need to feel you near me" he kissed me but there was no longer that fire like before I held him tighter thinking it depended on that but it didn't, the more I kissed him the more he pulled away at the end I let him go with the death of my heart I realized I was wrong to tell you I should have suffered in silence and that's all.

"I have to go," he said, "you stay in bed tonight, I don't want to see you sad anymore, we're dancing tonight.

"Stay with me a little longer!"

"no I can't but I'll be back soon" and stroking my face he added "don't cry any more" and left a little later I heard hoofbeats under the window what kind of a fool rides a horse in this weather so I got up to see it was him dressed as he was in the room he hadn't even put on his cloak and was riding in the rain. I saw my reflection in the mirror I looked horrible I had swollen eyes and nose I washed my face with cold water and tried not to cry any more as soon as I could I called the maid to bring me the bathing material and something to eat while I was brushing my hair there was a knock at the door I went to open and it was Fabian.

"how are you doing" he asked me

"let's say I have to get used to the idea",

"try not to think about it, you never know until summer what might happen",

"listen I don't want to listen to your conjectures about what may or may not be but know that I love him and if our father forces me to marry someone else I don't know what I would do".

"don't be exaggerated there are plenty of people who have arranged marriages and anyway I just wanted to tell you that"

"what?" I ask him and he

s kneeled down next to me

"until summer there are still many months, enjoy your story, live it without regrets and then what will be will be".

"yes but when I think ..."

"don't think," she said, interrupting me, "OK? You see, I never think about uncertainties because I don't feel bad. You do the same!"

"OK, I'll try"

"Are you coming down tonight?"

"Yes"

"Is Fabrizio in the room?" he asked

"I don't know, I saw him riding earlier, I don't know if he's back".

"Did you tell him?" she asked looking at me with green eyes so similar to our father's, but hers were full of sweetness and regret

"Yes, and as soon as he heard, he went riding in the rain," I answered, distraught, and he nodded affirmatively.

"That's what he always does when he needs to calm down, he always goes riding when he comes back, you'll see he's the same as always.

"Let's hope so", I said, he kissed my forehead and said

"then see if I'm not right" and left He finished combing my hair and started to dress me I was tying up my skirt he arrived he was still soaked with muddy boots when he came into my room.

"oh my god you're soaked come and dry yourself" I made him sit by the fireplace and I took a tablecloth of the kind the maid had brought me that I hadn't used and I started to dry his head but he stopped me he wanted me to sit on his lap but I told him no

"You're all wet, I'll ruin my dress," and then I asked, "but why did you come out in this weather?

"don't worry, I'm thick-skinned" he answered, getting up and wrapping his arms around my waist and said "do you remember what I told you last night while you were crying?"I thought for a moment I remembered my despair, the uncontrolled tears and him cradling me in his arms like a child and talking in my ear trying to calm me down but my sobs covered the words I only remembered one sentence when he had put me on the pillow for a moment I had managed to open my eyes and looked at him he was my reality he was all I wanted.

"I only remember one sentence," I said embarrassed.

"oh well that's better than nothing!" he tried to joke but his choked voice wouldn't let him.

"you told me that as long as you were by my side, nothing bad would ever happen to me" he smiled slightly "that's what you told me".

"well of all the other things...yes" and after a short pause "anyway know that no one will ever separate us I promise" I was about to speak when I stopped "I'll take care of your father"

"How will you do that?"

"for these two days I don't want to think about it I'll think about it when I'm alone and I'm more lucid" he said kissing me in a kiss that seemed to never end I was close to him who was still wet and had wet me too.

"I'm going to change" he said and after looking at me "you'd better do it too if you don't want to drive me completely crazy" he lowered his gaze on me and yes I'd have to change again the petticoat had become transparent as it got wet and had stuck to my body revealing my bare breasts and the skirt was all wet and muddy the dress was to be thrown away.

"Go on," I said, covering myself with my dressing gown, "I have to start all over again," it had taken me a couple of hours to do my hairstyle and mel had all undone.

"I'm sorry I ruined all your hair,

" it doesn't matter I'll make something up".

She gave me a quick kiss and I left the room and went to see what I could wear. I only had two evening dresses left, the gold one that I was going to wear tomorrow night and a black one that I didn't like much but I had done it at the insistence of my mother who liked the contrast in colour between my skin and the dress.

I was at the dressing table trying to fix my hair without having to take it all down when I saw him in the mirror looking at me from a distance then he disappeared only to reappear a little later next to me I had my corset half open he was kneeling behind me he slowly began to tie it and every time he passed the laces of the corset Every time he passed the laces of the corset from one side to the other, he kissed my back and this sent me into a state of panic. I couldn't concentrate any longer, so I untied the part he had ruined and applied a small comb that was decorated with little flowers that resembled the design of the dress.

"Have you finished?" he asked impatiently.

"Not yet.

"What are you missing?"

"the make-up" I said taking the powder puff

"but you look beautiful without it" I smiled and continued to put on my make-up and only after putting on my perfume did I get up.

"Now I'm ready" she stood up and looked at me so intensely that I was in awe.

"What is it?" I asked

"Nothing. I wanted to make sure you were real. Tonight I'll be the most envied man."

We were leaving when I stopped him.

"You'd better go down first. I'll be down in a few minutes."

"there's no one there it's just us and some friends of my father's who came to see us this afternoon and he let them stay but they're leaving in the morning"

so we went down together I immediately noticed the newcomers and in particular a very beautiful girl who was talking to our friends she was tall and shapely she had blond curls that came down to her middle back when Fabrizio called her I could see her face she had blue eyes and delicate features she looked like an angel I thought and when she turned towards Fabrizio with her bright eyes looking at him almost adoringly I felt a violent feeling that until today I had never felt.

"Fabrizio I've been waiting for you," said the angel with a caressing voice and a smile but he didn't seem to notice and answered normally

"pleased to see you....Catrina let me introduce you to Angelica she and Catrina d'Orleans".

After we said goodbye I noticed that he was looking at me coldly but I didn't pay attention as soon as the music started we went to dance finally in his arms I was calmer but I couldn't help pointing out to him

"Catrina has her eyes on you now"

He looked at me and said "I'm not property...I'm not for sale...my heart already has an owner" and held me tighter. We danced for a long time until the group dances began, alternating between jumping and spinning, changing partners continuously until the music stopped and we had to dance with the partner in front of us. When the music stopped there was a stranger in front of me but it wasn't difficult to see who he was the resemblance was incredible .... Catrina's brother....

"What a beautiful sight," he said.

"Thank you," I said.

you are the most beautiful lady tonight may I know your name?"

"Angelica di montò"

"montò....Are you perhaps related to Baron Armando?

"Yes, and my father. How do you know him?"

"I was with your brother and Count Lively at the military academy and I was a guest at your house a couple of years ago for Christmas, but you don't want to see me, even though Fabian always said he had a very beautiful sister", to change the subject, I asked "and what's your name".

"Osvaldo d'Orleans, I'm your servant" he said gallantly as we danced, I couldn't help noticing that Fabrizio was dancing with Catrina, it couldn't just be a coincidence, so when the music stopped "thank you for the dance, I'm going to freshen up a bit".

"I'll come with you" so he accompanied me

Lucia and Alessandro had also stopped and to my surprise Alessandro also knew the newcomer Lucia pulled me aside to ask

"What happened last night, you were so strange".

"and because of my father" I said and told him everything with her it was easier to talk even though I was about to cry I held back to my surprise she admitted that her father had told her too

"and what did you do?"

"Nothing, I didn't speak to him and cried for a week".

"and Alessandro doesn't know anything what's the point anyway I'll make my debut in the summer with you I hope he'll come forward soon after and that my father will accept after all he's of higher rank than me so it's possible he'll accept the request"

"and if he doesn't?"

"in that case I don't know what I'll do but I know what I'd do now if I were you" and nodding my head towards the dance floor "I'd go there and make her understand that he's my boyfriend and that she has to leave him alone" I looked towards the dance floor and saw them still dancing she looked up at him laughing provocatively while he was talking to her the blood rushed to my head I couldn't go and interrupt the dance

"go" Alice urged me

"No, the dance is about to end, I want to see what she's doing." A little later the music stopped and Fabrizio made to leave the dance floor, but she pulled him by the sleeve with the intention of dancing some more, at which point I got up and went to him.

"Am I disturbing you?" I asked, taking his arm.

"No," he answered, "I was just coming to find you ... let's go"

"But I want to dance"

"I'll have a drink first and then we'll dance"

"then I'll reserve all the dancing for you" I said cheekily, actually I had said it on purpose since Catrina was there listening even though we had completely ignored her at least this way she would understand or at least I hoped.

we left her there alone even though a little later she was already dancing with an older gentleman.

We danced the whole evening together and when we went to our room we made love like never before the next day would be our last night together...