Chapter 5

He managed to bandage the sleeping fox’s paw without waking it up, and we put it on the pillow so it can keep sleeping without issues. We stood in the doorframe, Baldrian had his arms crossed and looked at the fox.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” he whispered to me, but I didn’t understand what he meant. He pointed to the sleeping fox.

“Seeing how calmly it can sleep after enduring such a thing. One can feel its calm, the peace, the happiness to have overcome the situation,” he said with a smile on his face. “You’re quite the poet, my lord,” I said, smiling, and he laughed along quietly.

“Is that a compliment?” he asked, amused. I nodded.

“Yes, it was.” He stopped laughing and cleared his throat. I could see the tip of his ears turning red.

We heard approaching steps and saw Dorothy, Matilda, and a very stressed Paul walking over to us.

“My lord, why must you do such things?” He wiped some sweat off his brows. Dorothy and Matilda placed each one hand on Paul’s shoulders at the same time, shooting Baldrian a dirty look.

“You’ll end up overworking our Paul at this rate,” Matilda said. “Yes, do you know how hard he’s got it because you keep neglecting your duties?” said Dorothy.

Paul nodded along to each word spoken by the ladies, while Baldrian stood silently in front of them.

“You should think of him as well,” Dorothy added.

“You’re right, you’re right.” Baldrian placed both his hands on Paul’s shoulders and said seriously: “I am sorry.”

Paul smiled delighted and asked: “Does that mean you won’t do such a thing again?”

Silence.

Baldrian slowly pulled his hands back and folded them behind his back.

“My Lord?” Paul started, full of hope, but Baldrian slowly turned towards me and asked: “Feel like having breakfast?”

I couldn’t help myself and laughed quietly as I saw the helpless expression on Paul’s face.

I nodded, delighted. “Sure.”

He smiled sweetly and turned back to Paul. “Don’t worry about the meeting, I would have just been a pain for those there.” The moment he’d finished the phrase, the other three gave him a sad look.

“Baldrian…” Matilda started, but he interrupted her quickly: “Elias, shall we?” I nodded lightly, I could feel the way the atmosphere had shifted. Before we left, though, he turned back one last time. “Dorothy, prepare something to eat and drink for the fox.”

She nodded and left.

“Once I’m finished with breakfast, I’ll put together a formal writing explaining my absence to the council, which I’d like you to then send,” he explained to Paul, who nodded right away.

“Matilda, I’d like you to put together a list of our weekly expenses to present in front of the council to see if we can get some more.” She nodded and left.

I was so impressed by this sudden change of demeanor that I could only stand there, gaping up at him before he started walking and I had to follow.

Breakfast went well, we ate in silence and enjoyed the food. I kept sneaking glances at him, obviously when he wasn’t looking, and I was fascinated. The mask was odd, unnatural, but for some reason it didn’t really bother me, as if I’d already gotten used to it as part of him. The question that kept popping up, though, was: why? Why was he hiding his face? Was he really a monster like everybody claimed he was?

“Elias?” I tore myself out of my thoughts; I hadn’t noticed that the plates had already been put away and Baldrian had stood up. “I have to go to my office now to handle a few matters, don’t hold back from coming to me if you need anything,” he said with a smile. A strange feeling sprouted in me as I watched him leave.

“My Lord?” I called after him and he turned around instantly. “I have to tell you something.”

Don’t you dare! Not after everything that’s happened “About your offer.” You do know that you’re only a weight, right?” “I-“ You’re a failed test, why would anybody want you here if you weren’t even supposed to be here? I swallowed the rest of my words and said: “I just wanted to say, that I haven’t been able to decide yet, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head.

“There’s no need to apologize.” I looked down at the floor and slapped myself mentally. “Don’t worry about it and if you do decide to leave, no one will blame you for it.” See? They don’t want you. I bit down on my lower lip.

“Elias, please look at me.” I lifted my head slowly and looked at him. His metal mask hid everything but I could still sense the kindness in his gaze. You’re getting ahead of yourself, this will go bad. “You’re always welcome here; we’d never throw you out. We like having you here. Dorothy adores you, Paul speaks of you as if you were his son. Even Matilda talks about you with a smile on her face.” He pauses for a moment. He looked as though he wanted to add something else, but nothing came. Instead he said: “You don’t have to justify yourself in front of anybody, what decisions you make, so long as your decisions only impact your life.” He smiled one last time and left. Tears started gathering in my eyes, I tried to hold them back. You seriously wanna break down just because someone was a little nice to you once? I pulled myself back together and focused on something else. What could I do to distract myself?

“Elias, you’re still here?” I hear Mara ask as she steps out of the kitchen. “Perfect, I’ve got something to do for you.” I thank her internally that something came up and nodded at her. “I’d like to you to make a list of preferred dishes of everyone here, you included.” I looked at her with wide eyes. “Everyone? Why?” I asked. “Well, we’ll be having a feast tonight, and everyone gets to choose their meal when we hold feasts.” I was confused. “Why a feast?” She smiled. “That’s a secret, but I can tell you one thing, the Master put a lot of work into it.” As she said that I felt anticipation grow in me, to the point I could barely remain seated and started smiling widely.

I headed out.

Why a feast? Celebrating an occasion? If so, what? Baldrian organized it so it’ll definitely be great. Maybe they’re celebrating that they’ll be getting rid of you soon. My smile froze on lips. I had to stop thinking that negatively. First I should find Dorothy, maybe she could help me with the list.

With a goal in mind I started moving. I asked a few people, who explained very kindly where they last saw her until I walked into Paul, who told me that she’s taking care of the fox, so I headed back to that room.

Once I got there, I saw the door slightly ajar but couldn’t hear any sounds coming from within. I thought that the fox must be sleeping so I opened the door quietly, only to freeze halfway into the doorframe, staring at the scene in front of me.

Dorothy was sitting on the bed, her sleeves rolled up which allowed me to see her hands. Her fingers were black all the way to her knuckles and her nails were long and sharp. She was holding a bowl of soup in one hand, and a spoon in the other. She was feeding a little girl, about five years old, sitting cross-legged in front of her.

The girl had red hair, bursting like a bush out of her head. What got the air stuck in your lungs were the pointy red fox ears peeking out from it and the little tail swaying back and forth behind her. She had honey-yellow eyes, much like a- “Fox,” I whispered and their heads whipped to me.

My legs moved on their own and before I knew what was happening, I was running down the corridor. What the hell was that? Was that the little fox? Why was it a human? With ears! Why am I running? I stopped running and tried to control my breathing.

Maybe I saw wrong, maybe it was nothing. Maybe I’ve read too many fantasy books and I’ve started seeing things that weren’t really there.

I turned back around to go back and check that nothing had actually been there, but in that exact moment, Dorothy appeared out of thin air. I screamed and stumbled back.

“I can explain,” she started, but my gaze drops lower and I saw the little girl clinging onto Dorothy’s skirt. Her ears, definitely fox ears, were flattened back and she was looking up at me with her scared honey-yellow eyes. I put my hand in front of my mouth, to keep myself from screaming again, but my sudden movement startled her.

With a loud squeak, she changed back into a fox and ran away. A door slammed open somewhere and Baldrian came over to us. “What happened?” he called, startled. The little fox ran over to him and changed back, to hold onto one of his legs with all her might. He looked down at her and gently took her into his arms. He softly caressed her cheek.

“What’s going?” he asked her so gently that I nearly melted at it.

“My Lord,” Dorothy curtsied briefly.

“What happened?” he asked again and Dorothy pointed at me. “He caught us,” she said and tried to mask her nervousness with a short laughter.

“Elias, were you the one who screamed?” Ashamed, I lowered my head. “I didn’t want to be loud, I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “It’s alright, you reacted better than other creatures I know.” Then he smiled again. The little fox started shooting me curious glances, but when our gazes met, she threw her arms around Baldrian’s neck and hid her face, which made Baldrian laugh. His laughter was deep and melodic, my heart skipped another beat. This is starting to get annoying!

“I probably should explain,” he said quietly, as if talking to himself.

“Dorothy, please gather everyone in the dining hall; Elias and I will follow shortly.” She nodded and left. I couldn’t stop staring after her, onto her black fingers until she was out of sight. Then I remembered that moment, where she’d acted as though stuck in a trance while watching my shadow play. A chapter of that book mentioned something like that.

“She’s a Shadowseeker,” I whispered to myself, but Baldrian heard it.

“Matilda helped you out, I see.” His voice was quiet. “Follow me,” he said and I did.

We went into his office where he put the little one in his chair; she started playing with one of his pens. He walked over to a library and pulled out a heavy book. “I’d like for you to listen closely now.” I nodded and he continued. “Before I give you this book, I’d like you to promise me that you won’t tell this to anyone. It’s about the lives of everyone here.” I swallowed roughly and nodded. “I promise that no one will ever hear of this from me.”

He seemed satisfied and carried on: “As you’ve certainly already figured out, we have very few humans here. Most of the people here are magical beings, supernatural beings, and creatures you’d otherwise only find in fairytales.” My eyes grew bigger and bigger as I listened to him. My gaze found the little girl, who was playing happily while her bushy tail projected her delight.

“I’d like for you to treat them with respect anyway, because they have the right to live, much like you and I.” Does that mean he’s a regular human being, too? He handed me the book and said: “This is the list of all the names and what they are. You can take a look at it and maybe understand a bit better.” I nodded, completely speechless. No one here was a human, truly no one.

“Wait, wait, wait. Does that mean everyone here is a fantastical creature?” He nodded and walked over to the door. I tried to get the idea into my head that I was most likely the only human there. The little fox suddenly rushed past me, towards Baldrian and held onto his leg with one of her hands. He stopped for a moment and called to me: “You coming?”

I nodded.

Just as he’d ordered Dorothy, everyone, and I mean everyone, had gathered in the dining hall. The only ones I couldn’t see were those guys from the Black Legion, which didn’t bother me at all. The little fox was proudly standing between Baldrian’s leg, looking around with large, curious eyes. Her ears were twitching like crazy. At each smallest noise, they twitched in the direction it came from, and her head followed.

“I gathered you all here to tell you that Elias,” he placed a hand on my side and pulled me a little closer. There were his hand rested I could feel the skin under my shirt warming up, as though he’d lit a fire on it.

“Discovered our secret.” Murmuring erupted in the crowd. “You don’t have to worry, though, because I am certain, that Elias can keep it.”

I nodded vigorously to agree with him. He removed his hand from side and for a moment I missed the warmth he’d been giving me, but quickly shook the thought. Better that way, you’re one of many, anyway.

“Does that mean we don’t have to pretend anymore?” One of the maids asked and Baldrian nodded. She sighed and within the blink of an eye a pair of green butterfly wings sprouted out of her back and she began shrinking until she was the size of my hand. She wasn’t the only one, many of the other employees changed their appearance into that what they actually were. I saw more fairies, humans with pointy animal ears, I saw some wings, too. I saw someone who looked like a reptile. That was a lot to take in all at once. I could only stand there and stare on speechlessly, watching how my world turned upside down yet again.

“Elias, everything alright? Are we going too fast?” Baldrian asked me, concern dripping from his voice, and waved the others back to their tasks. They left as ordered, now we were alone.

He waited for my answer and my gaze fell on the little fox between his legs. He was right, it was all going a little too fast, but it didn’t bother me, I felt overwhelmed, but at ease. Overwhelmed, but happy. I shook my head. “I’m good, a little overwhelmed, but I can handle it.” And there’s that gorgeous smile of his again, that I like so much. “I’m happy to hear that, I was starting to get worried.” I was still carrying the book in one hand and held it tight to my chest. “If you’ll excuse me now, I have to study,” I pointed at the book. He laughed quietly and simply said: “We’ll be holding a feast tonight, don’t forget.” I nodded and we went separate ways.

The little fox followed him closely.

Once I got to my room I sank down to the floor and tried to calm my breathing. They weren’t human, but magical creatures, that I’d only find in books otherwise. What should I do? I acted big and tough in front of Baldrian, but I’m about to have a pants emergency.

With shaking hands I opened the book and flipped through the pages. Everyone was listed in it. Their names and races. I took the book Matilda had given me and started studying the list; every time I didn’t know something written, I checked the other book. “Dorothy Alden: Shadowseeker.” I’d been right, then, but the other book mentioned that all of her skin should be black, why are only her fingers like that, then? I kept flipping.

“Mara Doyle: Werewolf. Note: Pack Alpha.” My eyes widened and I flipped the page excitedly. “Matilda Delacour: Vampire. Note: Can read minds.” That made sense. I flipped through the entire book, but couldn’t find Baldrian’s name anywhere. Did that mean that he’s a human? Why the mask, then? I read the whole book from start to finish and tried to memorize everything I read. I could feel the way a wish I’d had since I was a little boy had just come true. Getting to live with fantastical beings.

The door opened behind me and slammed against my head. I turned around while rubbing the back of my head. Paul peeked inside.

“Elias, everyone is waiting for you.” I gave him a confused look. Then I noticed with a start that I’d been reading this book the entire day and it had already gone dark outside. I stood up abruptly and put both books down on the bed. “Apologies,” I simply said and fixed my hair a little. I was nervous, for some reason, Maybe because you’re the only human in a hole full of the supernatural? I looked at Paul, who was waiting patiently in the door.

“Paul?” He looked at me kindly and adjusted his glasses on his nose. “Yes, Elias?” he replied softly.

“Excuse the question, but what are you?” I hadn’t found his name on the list either. He started laughing. “A regular human being, my boy, just like you.” I frowned. “Really?” I asked again. He nodded. “Yes, and now come.”

We walked along the corridor while I brushed my hand along the wall. Without wanting to or even wanting to, I’d already grown fond of this large castle and all its wonders. Everyone working and living here had accepted me without issue even when they knew that I wasn’t like them. I felt safe and the thought to go back to my parents, I’d already given up on it. Why? Because they didn’t want you or because he won’t let you go to them? Whatever the reason, I’ve begun living with this realization and am satisfied with it. The last step would be letting Baldrian know that I’d like to stay. If he even wants you here. I hope so.

We reached the dining hall and I stopped dead in my tracks in front of the door.

“Everything alright?” Paul asked, worried. I paled, whispering softly: “I forgot Mara’s list.” Paul gave me a confused look. Wow, just great. Useless and forgetful. “I was supposed to put a list together for Mara, with everyone’s dish wish. I totally forgot about it.” Much to my surprise, Paul laughed.

“That’s been taken care of.” Even they know how useless you are. I bit down on my lower lip.

“Let’s go inside,” Paul said and opened the door. The moment I stepped in, I could feel the air get lodged in my throat. The hall was decorated with gorgeous, colorful garlands hanging from the ceiling. The table was covered with delicacies. Balloons flew around the room and in the centre of the table stood a giant chocolate cake.

“Happy Eighteenth!” everyone shouted, then threw confetti. People started clapping. Dorothy came over and dragged by motionless body over to the cake with exactly eighteen lit candles on top of it. All the tears I’d been holding back burst out of me and started rolling down my cheeks, when Dorothy yelled: “Blow them out!”

I tried my best between the sobs to blow them out one by one. Once the last one has been blown out, another round of applause sounded through the room. “To Elias!” they shouted and I heard glasses clink. I couldn’t help it and started crying loudly.

Dorothy walked over to me and started wiping the tears off my cheeks as she laughed. I just kept crying. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and as I turned around, Baldrian was stood in front of me. He gave me a kind smile and something in me pushed me to turn around all the way, wrap my arms around his middle and shove my face into his chest. He was very surprised and barely moved. As I realized what I was doing and wanted to pull back, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I felt him starting to pat my head, slow and insecure. My heart was racing and I even stopped crying. What now? What should I do? Should I let go? I’m sure he can hear my heart racing.

But before I could make the decision, Baldrian pulled back himself and grabbed my face. His leather gloves were cold, but I could still feel warmth on my cheeks thanks to the gentleness of his hold.

“Don’t cry, tonight’s for celebrating,” he whispered. Everyone around us had started to celebrate and cutting pieces from the cake. I heard laughter and talking, someone said something loudly and cheerfully. My heart grew twice its size and before I knew what was happening, I said: “I’d like to stay here with you.”