Chapter 4

My heart was racing. Calm down, he’s going to notice it otherwise. We stood in his office. It was smaller than the room they gave me, and it looked rather cold. In the middle there was a table with neatly stacked documents, a few writing utensils and an unlit candle. In this room there wasn’t anything other than this table, two chairs and a shelf filled with books.

“Why don’t you sit down?” he said, and sat down on his chair. I was so nervous that I definitely couldn’t have sat still, but I didn’t want to be rude, so I sat down anyway. He briefly flipped through his documents and then pulled out a sheet of paper. “Paul gave me your parent’s letter, the one that you gave him” He softly placed it on the table and pushed it slightly towards me “Do you want to read it?” I quickly shook my head without thinking much about it. “It wasn’t meant for me, I would be going against my parent’s will if I read it.” They also went against your will. He stayed silent for a while and due to the mask he wore, I couldn’t guess what he was thinking. He put the letter between his documents and then leaned back a bit. With every second that passed, I felt my muscles grow more tense.

“Elias” he suddenly spoke my name and I flinched “Yes?” I answered a bit too loud. “How much did your parents explain?” His voice turned serious, and I became more nervous. Don’t say anything dumb now.

“They gave me a letter that explains your contract. I have to work off the debts that they piled up throughout the years.” He sighed briefly and nodded. “I am sorry that you were pulled into this mess.” He sounded sad, if not disappointed “That wasn’t supposed to happen” he whispered to himself. I felt a strange feeling inside of me, and that’s why I asked “Is something wrong, My Lord?” He didn’t answer immediately, which made me nervous. “I need to tell you something Elias.” He straightened himself again. “Your parents did not respect the contract between us and kept the income they were supposed to send me, for themselves.” I nodded. “That is why I put them to the test and proposed a new contract.” That strange feeling came back as he kept talking. “I wanted to see how far their greed would take them. Apparently too far.” He stopped for a second and seemed to observe me and then spoke: “It was a test.”

My head was empty, I couldn’t seem to make a single clear thought. A Test. It was all a Test, only a Test. “That means that I wasn’t supposed to come here at all?” I managed to ask quietly. He said nothing. “This means that I could have stayed with them?” I kept asking, but this time a bit louder. “This means that it was all a lie?” This time he opened his mouth, but I didn’t give him the chance to speak. I stood up abruptly and shouted: “This means I could have had a normal life?” He didn’t even flinch.

“None of this would have happened if they had just followed your whims, am I right?” I kept on shouting “I am sorry” he said quietly. “I am really sorry, Elias” I was so angry, so damn angry that I didn’t know what to do. This was the first time in these few days that I could have cried, but I didn’t want to let it happen.

“Elias listen to me. I know that this is all shocking to you, but it had to happen like this. Your parents wronged me, and that is why-” “That’s why you take their kid?” I interrupted him. “Elias, just listen to me-”“No!” I yelled and walked to the door. As I wanted to open it, it suddenly slammed shut. I turned slightly and found his in black leather clad hand next to my head, keeping the door closed. I turned around and found him right in front of me.

“What I will say now will probably not make you happy, but the only reason your parents brought you to life, was because of our deal.” That was the cherry on top of this mess that sent me over the edge. I shoved him harshly and he tripped ever so slightly backwards. I ran out of the room and just kept on running, it didn't matter where, just anywhere that wasn’t there.

I ran down the stairs, out of the entrance, ignoring all of the confused and startled gazes I was getting and directly to the gates. It was difficult to open, but I managed to anyway. Would you look at that? No one is stopping you. I tried not to listen to the voices and just ran off. I tried following the street that would bring me back home, back to my parents. You mean those that sold you? Tears rolled down my cheeks as I walked quickly. All this effort that you’re putting in is for nothing, they don’t want you. I started sobbing and sped up, until I started running. I didn’t know this street, nor did I know the area, but I just wanted to go as far away as possible. The only reason that your parents brought you to life, was because of the deal. I stopped.

Tears still streamed down my face, but I didn’t feel anything anymore, as I had finally understood it, it had finally sunken in.

“Elias? Everything okay?” Behind me stood Dorothy all of a sudden, as if she just appeared out of nowhere, but I was drained, so I didn’t really feel like thinking about it or just thinking in general. She took my hand very gently and softly pulled me along with her. “What happened? The Master is worried sick.” I didn’t answer her and just followed. She stopped and turned around to face me. “Oh jeez…” she whispered as she dried the tears on my cheeks with her sleeves. “What happened to you?” she asked once more, but nothing came out of my mouth. She didn’t push me to answer, and we silently returned together.

I didn’t want to eat anything when they offered it, and I didn’t want to talk about it when they looked at me with a worried expression. I sat on my bed and just stared blankly at nothing. There was a knock, I didn’t answer it. There was another knock, I ignored it.

The door opened. “Elias?” I recognized the voice, but didn’t feel like reacting. I felt him sit down next to me. He didn’t say anything for a while and just sat there.

“How are you?” he asked quietly, his voice somehow even softer than this morning so much so that I almost started crying again. I closed my eyes.

“I shouldn’t have said that, that was very wrong of me and I can understand that you want to leave here, but…” he made a small pause “Give me a bit of time, and I’ll find you a residence and I will financially support you until you do not need it anymore.” He slowly stood back up and added: “But if you still want to stay here, the door will always be open for you.” I opened my eyes again and turned to him. He stood in the door and looked at me through his mask.

He looked tense, as if he didn’t know what he was supposed to do next. Of course he doesn’t know what he should do, you’re not giving him an answer.

“What if I want to go back?” I asked quietly. I saw how he balled his hand up into fist briefly, but then quickly opened it up again. “I cannot let you do that Elias. Such people don’t deserve you.” Start learning with the knowledge that people don’t care about your wishes. I nodded and turned away once more. “Please think about my offer” he said before leaving the room.

The next days passed by quickly. I stood up, had breakfast, helped a bit in the kitchen, grabbed a book and then disappeared back into my room. Dorothy came by to visit sometimes but I didn’t have enough energy for her. Even Paul came by once or twice, but he was too busy so he only stayed for a couple of minutes. And that’s how I lived day by day. And how you rotted away night for night.

I still didn’t give the Master an answer to his offer.

You like letting them wriggle, huh?

I started studying the book Matilda gave me. All the fairy tale beings made me forget where I was, and that really helped me these last few days.

You hide in Children’s books so you don’t have to face reality?

Sometimes I couldn’t sleep, so I just flipped through the book’s pages and tried imagining the beings.

One night I was awake again and read the chapter of a being called “Shadowseeker”.

Their characteristics were: completely black skin with long claws, with which they could sever the shadow of any creature. When this happened, the Shadowseekers could possess the creature, but this was rather rare as they were pretty friendly beings. There was a way to capture them. As they are very fascinated by shadow play. They could sit for hours and just watch the shadow play, as if they were in a trance. It amused me to read what other people could create with their amazing imagination.

Suddenly I heard a noise, it came from outside. It was silent, almost unnoticeable, and yet I still heard it on that quiet night. I walked to the window and looked out. There was a man walking, he was barefoot, and even though the night was cold, all he wore was a white shirt and dark pants. His steps were heavy, as if he was forcing himself to walk. Then he stopped. He just stood there and looked up into the dark sky. I tried seeing if maybe I could recognize him, but in that same moment he turned around and I ducked. My heart was racing and I was hoping that he didn’t see me. Who was this man? One of the servants that I didn’t meet yet? He looked so sad. Should I go down to him? Absolutely not, how do you intend on helping him, if you can’t even pull yourself out of your own misery?. I went to bed. Maybe I imagined it, but as I fell asleep, I heard crying.

A knock woke me up, and without waiting for an answer Dorothy just came inside my room “You can’t keep going like that!” she said seriously. “Stand up Elias, today I’m going to keep you so busy that you won’t be able to hide in your own head anymore.” I was surprised and simply stared at her, wide eyed. She took my clothes that were on the floor, which is where I left them yesterday and threw them onto the bed for me. “Come on, we don’t have all day.” As ordered, I quickly got dressed and followed her out of the room.

“Today you’re not going to help out in the kitchen, but you’re going to help me. That means: Wash laundry, hang it out to dry, clean rooms, windows and so on and so forth.” I only nodded.

We started by collecting dirty laundry. She gave me a basket, took one herself, and then we filled them until they were difficult to hold. We took them to the courtyard, where the other Maids were currently busy washing blankets. They had giant barrels that were filled with water in which they placed the blankets, while other Maids would stomp on them with their bare feet. They were laughing and seemed to have been having fun. Other maids were busy hanging up the already washed laundry.

“There’s more coming!” Dorothy called out as we got closer. We put the baskets down and she started chatting with the others. I stood there, not knowing what to do with myself.

“Elias, come over here” Dorothy called. She was talking to one of the maids, that was stomping on the blankets in one of the barrels.

“Take your shoes off” she told me all of a sudden, and I was visibly confused, but did it anyway. I was now barefoot, and the other Maid held her hand out. I looked over to Dorothy. She smiled wide.

“It’s more fun than it seems, and it’s really refreshing.”

I nervously took her hand and she pulled me in. As my feet touched the cool water, I felt a smile creep onto my lips. The maid that was with me, took my other hand and then told me: “Look, this is how I do it.” I looked down at her feet and did as she did. Dorothy was right, it felt really good and was also really fun. I don’t know how long I was there, but I was feeling really good. We started chatting about trivial things as we stomped.

“Elias, come on we have other things to do!” Dorothy called as she was already walking back into the house. With a big hop I was already out of the barrel. “Coming!” I replied and said my goodbyes to the other ladies. As I reached Dorothy, she explained what was going to be next: “Today I’m responsible for the cleaning of a part of the right wing of the castle. That means the library, the bathrooms, Paul’s office and the office of the Master.” I stopped all of a sudden.

I wasn’t ready to meet him yet, he will want an answer, but I don't have one and if he doesn’t get one, he could kick me out, and I wouldn’t be able to handle that, not again.

“He’s not going to be there” Dorothy said, as if reading my mind. “He had a meeting today, because of that he’ll only be back by evening.” I sighed in relief and followed her into the library. There we met Matilda who was signing documents. “Hello, Hello Matilda, hopefully we aren’t bothering you or anything” Dorothy exclaimed loudly and just waltzed in. She put all her cleaning tools on the table and started giving me a few things.

“You never bother me love” Matilda replied softly. She wore a dark brown highly elevated skirt with a tight black shirt with a high collar. Once again, she wore a fiery red belt.

She looked over to me. “From cook maid to housemaid. A career change will surely help.” I stuck out my tongue at her and she simply laughed delightedly. Dorothy gave me a mop with which I was supposed to clean the floor while she cleaned the table.

“How do you like the book?” Matilda asked me. I turned around and nodded “I like it a lot” She seemed to be rather satisfied.

“But a chapter was ripped out” she furrowed her brow. “It wasn’t me, I swear” I tried explaining, but she shook her head. “Unfortunately I know who it was” she whispered before sighing. I couldn’t ask since Dorothy looked over to me with a raised brow, pointing to the floor. I started cleaning once again.

Once the entire library was spotless we carried on. “Next up is the office of the Master” said Dorothy as we headed there. It was dark, as he had the curtains closed, the candle that he had on the desk was still on. “Oh dear…” Dorothy grumbled as she went to the shelves to dust them off. I wanted to turn off the candle, but I had a strange urge inside of me to try something, and so I started doing shadow plays against the wall. I was always bad at doing them, because my parents saw it as a waste of time. Well, they held everything that was inherently fun as a waste of time.

I only knew one figure, and it was the easiest one. I put my middle finger and my ring finger on my thumb and straightened out my pinky and my index finger. The shadow looked like the head of a fox and I laughed quietly. I turned around to Dorothy to show it to her, and just like that my smile faded. She stood there as if she was in a trance, and stared at the wall, wide eyed. She didn’t move a muscle and just stood there reactionless.

“Dorothy?”

She didn’t react, and I started getting scared. I slowly moved my hand away and her gaze followed the shadow on the wall. This was familiar, didn’t I read something similar in that book?

A loud bang made me jump and snapped Dorothy back to reality. Another loud bang made us drop everything and run to the door. I opened it and almost tripped, because something just zipped past me. It was so fast that I couldn’t even recognize what it was. As I wanted to put a foot into the corridor, a person ran past me, loudly yelling “Wait! I do not intend to harm you!” I recognized that voice immediately, and so did Dorothy.

“Wasn’t that the Master? What’s he doing here still?” We watched as the Master ran down the corridor, turned the corner and then disappeared out of sight. We were confused, and didn’t know what to do, until we heard a scream and a loud noise, it sounded like porcelain. We rushed to him and found him on the ground.

He probably slipped in his attempt to catch whatever he was chasing and rammed into a vase. The vase in question was now shattered and laid on the ground in pieces. The Master was covered in dirt and was on his back as he held whatever creature he held far away from him with his hands, as if he wanted to protect it from the impact. Turns out that the Master was chasing a small fox that had an injured hind leg.

“Oh my God!” Dorothy yelled, appalled as she ran to him. He just laughed and tried to stand up again. He held the fox close to his chest, petting it to calm it down.

“What the hell is going on here?” Matilda had also heard the accident and came towards us, stomping. She stopped as she saw the Master with the fox and groaned loudly “What are you still doing here? You’re supposed to be at your meeting” he laughed shyly.

“Baldrian, how many times do I have to tell you that you shouldn’t pick up everything, just because it looks at you sadly”

So Baldrian was his name.

“You know it just as much as me, that I can’t not do it.” he said and walked past us, still with the fox in his arms. Something made me follow him.

“What are you going to do with the fox?” I asked softly as we walked into a room that I had never been in before. It looked like a bedroom, but it seemed to have barely been used. The nightstand was completely empty, the sheets were covered in dust, the pillows probably never touched the back of anyone's head and let’s not even mention the blinds.

“We are going to help her obviously” he answered with a soft voice. “What is with your meeting?” I asked him. I know everyone else already asked but for some reason I wanted to show interest. “A meeting can be postponed, something like this cannot” I simply nodded and tried looking for something else that I could ask. Are you so desperate that you’re also begging for his attention? I bit my lip.

“Elias, could you help me?” I looked up to him and nodded. He smiled and my heart skipped another beat. Stop that! “Can you hold her? I need to get bandages.” I nodded again and he softly handed me the fox. As he made his way out of the door, I sat down and started patting the fox. It didn’t fight back, something that I found strange, but it was trembling. The fox was definitely scared, and who could blame it. It got taken from the road and brought into a giant home that he did not know.

I started humming, a song without name, a melody without a story. I sang a song that I taught myself, the only thing that I had learned out of my own volition. I stroked its fur and after a while the trembling slowly stopped. But I didn’t stop singing, not until I felt its breathing calm, which would have meant it had fallen asleep. I smiled with satisfaction and looked up. In the doorframe stood Baldrian, completely motionless as he watched me. His mouth was agape and in his hands he held bandages and other things for the wound.

“That was beautiful” he whispered, and just like that my face turned red.

“I did not know that you had such a beautiful voice” he added. He walked towards us and kneeled down before me to look at the wound. My heart was racing and I didn’t know why. “Elias?” one of these days his voice is going to give me a heart attack.

“Yes?” I answered as calmly as possible. “Thank you” I didn’t know why he was thanking me, but I couldn’t ask because she smiled so sweetly that I even forgot that the rest of his face was hidden behind a mask.

That Heart attack was getting closer by the minute.