Chapter 1

Saturday, November 10th, 2018.

9:17 a.m.

Hayat opened her eyes and felt them swollen from crying all night. As soon as she awoke, all the memories of the previous day came rushing back like an avalanche, pressing her heart until she could no longer breathe. She sat on the bed. She tried to breathe deeply so that the knot forming in her throat didn't turn into crying. Again. "I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry," she said quietly to herself. With no strength to fight against the sound that was rising in her throat, Hayat slipped from the bed onto the floor. On her knees, she lay her head on the duvet, gripping it tightly with both hands. "This pain that rips my chest will never go away?". Her eyes got blurred as the inevitable tears welled up. "Why, why did our paths cross, Aslan? Why did my sister have to work there? Why did I go work there? Why did I insist on it? Why?" - and she knew why... Because of him. Him, him, him... How to resist him? His voice, his look, his scent, his presence ... Everything about him was like a magnet, she could never escape.

Hayat's shoulders began to shake from sobbing, even strengthless, the pain needed to find a way out, after all, the flow of her feelings could not be contained, it had the strength of a thousand rivers. Enraged at her lack of willpower to forget him, Hayat grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it away in the room, the noise it made when it landed, made her snap out of the trance. She looked to see what she had hit with it. Her dresser. And rolling under the wardrobe, she saw what it was. "Oooh no, his perfume!" Crawling close to the wardrobe and reaching for it with her hand, she retrieved the it. Sitting on the floor, Hayat opened it. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply the scent. Finally, her balm, something that would ease her heart from now on. She might not have him, but she would have his scent. His already used perfume was a gift From him to her. She had asked him to give it to her. He offerend to buy one exactly the same for her, but she refused. She wanted the perfume he had been using. And now, that perfume bottle had this bittersweet memory attached to it. Especially now, since they were just friends. That word - friends - hurt her chest, it took her breath away as if she was constantly drowning. The tears threatened to return, but she took a deep breath and the perfume invaded her nostrils and brought her immediate comfort. It was like walking through the desert for weeks and finally drinking water, it was like running and finally being able to rest. That scent was her salvation.

A knock on the door made her quickly wipe away the tears, get up and straighten everything in the dresser.

- Come in!

- Hayat?

It was Hande, her best friend. Seeing her, brought Hayat some comfort, too.

-You haven't answered the phone since yesterday, you don't answer the messages ... I'm worried. Wait. Have you been you crying?

-My friend, I'm not well. It’s as if a premature and constant winter hung around me. It seems as if all the hope in the world is over.

-My goodness!!! It's because you're sad, and everything seems unresolved. But it will go away my friend, it will pass. Come here.

Hande sat on the bed and Hayat laid her head on her lap.

- It won't. I've never felt this way before. I've never felt so alive and dead at the same time. Everything hurts.

- Hayat, what did he do to you this time? Was he rude?

- No, much worse: now we're friends.

Saying that word out loud in reference to him, it was the most bitter feeling she had ever tasted on her lips.

-Ah-ah! I don't believe it! But that's good Hayat. This is better than him being ruthless or headstrong!

-No, it's not better. Because before, when he found out about the lie, he ignored me or was plain rude. Did it hurt me? Yes. But I hoped I could break that armor and get back into his heart. But now ... He apologized yesterday ...

- Yesterday? Tell me!

- He apologized for not listening to me, for making pre-judgments, and it was as if I saw the light at the end of the tunnel! I confessed that I didn't wanna lose him and I said that he was very precious to me, and he told me that I was to him as well. Me, being eager to have him again, asked if we could start over.

- Seriously!? But this is so meaningful.

- It would have been if it weren't for him pouring cold water on me by saying that we could start over, but as friends.

A sob escaped from Hayat's throat and embarrassed to notice the tears were making her friend's jeans wet, she got up and sat next to Hande.

- Hande, it is worse to know that we are ok, that we'll laugh, we'll work together but I'll never be able to touch or kiss him again. That he'll never look at me like that again ... Hande, I'm going to die when he shows up with someone else.

- Hayat, Hayat ... It's all very recent, if there's one thing I've learned through the years, is that time is important. Give him some time, he's hurt too. After all, the woman he loved and still loves, disappointed him in the worst way he could ever imagined: by lying. Calm down, I bet he's there in that mansion of his, going over this conversation you guys have had. Have some faith that things are going to work it out.

- You think?

- I'm sure! Now, enough tears. You need to move on with your life and show him that you are, and will always be that Hayat full of life, romantic, creative and determined!! And of course, let's not forget about how good you smell!!!

Finally, Hayat allowed herself to laugh in the last 24 hours, Hande was always by her side, she was the sister she had chosen.

-I don't know why this man is obsessed with your smell... It's no big deal... Let me check...

Hande pushed Hayat on the bed, and tickling and sniffing her neck like a dog, she managed to make her friend burst into laughter.

- Stop, stop, Hande ...

-It's good to see you smile, my friend ... I'll always be here for you.