CHAPTER 6: GOODBYE

HARLEY.

For the ring to be pawned for fifty thousand, that must not be a cheap ring. That guy is probably financially well.

“Jewelle,” I called her. She’s currently sitting on her chair, her back is facing towards the door to my office.

“Yes.”

“I haven’t started courting you yet, but you are already giving me your yes.”

She turned around and shoot me a dagger look.

I winked at her and moved closer while smiling. Jewelle is so cute whenever she looks like she wants to rip me apart. There’s just something sexy about it. It makes annoying her worth it.

I sat on the visitor’s chair in front of her desk and propped my chin against my hand.

“What do you want??” She whispered while widening her eyes in irritation.

“I want to staaaaare at your face.”

“Ugh. Shut up, Harley. And please, Stop your womanizing antics on me. That won’t do.”

I pouted. “What a kill joy! I helped you yesterday to get back that ring, but you didn’t even cook for me-”

“What, so that you can ridicule my cooking again? No thank you! I might end up being a murderer because I probably would be putting as much oyster sauce as possible in whatever I will be cooking.”

“You’re a murderer, nonetheless.”

“Huh?”

“You murdered my heart with what you said.”

“Tss. Your jokes are too corny, get out of my face and work. I stacked works on your table to keep you there, but you keep on messing around.”

“I’m already tired. I need to recharge by staring at you,” I sent her way my most disarming smile.

She waved her hands in the air in front of me as if she’s deflecting an insect.

“Aha! I know what to do. Let’s go out on a date tonight!” I suddenly said and caught her hand.

She pulled her hand as quick as I held it.

“You cannot think of anything sensible to do?” She asked in an irritated tone and stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“It’s already lunch break.”

“Let’s eat out.”

“No thanks,” she quickened her pace and joined the other employees who are also heading out for lunch.

I let out a sigh.

“S-Sir?” a woman approached me and smiled timidly. I nodded at her. “I’m Alex from Personnel Department. Here’s the file you requested earlier.”

She handed me a 201 file folder. I smiled as I eyed it.

“Thanks, Alex. I’ll give this back later,” I smiled at her and she seemed to have turned into jelly.

“S-Sure Sir. Anytime. Or if you want Sir, just give me a call. I can pick it up for you,” she said while blushing as if her heart is going to jump out of her rib cage any moment. “Here’s my number.”

She gave me a small paper where a mobile number is written. It must be her number, although she could have just given me her local number.

I shook my head to myself and turned back towards my office. Why can’t Jewelle be like that?

I countered that though myself. It wouldn’t be fun if she’s like that.

Once inside, I locked my door and started looking through the file.

The first think I saw is the smiling face of a man.

“James Vicencio.. Stratford Tower huh?” I murmured. The corner of my mouth twitched as I eyed his home address indicated in his profile. It’s not an address easily accessible to anyone. He’s an Assistant Vice President, but it’s still questionable that he can afford the high-end condominium.

Included in his file 201 are the cars he is using. He needed to indicate it so that the company can issue him car passes into the company premises. I raised an eyebrow when I saw that there are three cars registered under his name. All of them luxury cars.

My eyes looked further down and my frown deepened. His elementary and secondary education were taken from public schools around the slum area. He studied college in a state college. But he took masters degree in America?

I checked his file if he was hired under a referral from anyone in the company. But it appears that he went through the regular hiring procedure.

“Who are you, James Vicencio?”

JEWELLE.

[How much do you need for you to give me back the ring?]

“What do you mean?”

[I’ll give you the money, take it back from the pawnshop.]

I bit my lip. I’ll be damned if I get hurt. So damn me, because right now I’m hurt.

‘James.. You jerk..’

This is how lowly he thinks of me. What a jerk. I no longer wonder how he could forsake me in front of the altar before. Maybe I was wrong to believe that he even loved me back then.

Maybe he never did. He couldn’t even give me the basic respect as a person, how could he even give me his love?

“I’ll give you back the ring tomorrow. I don’t need your money,” when I found my voice, I told him in a cold voice and hung up.

------

My recollection was cut short when I noticed that Desiree is standing in front of me. We agreed to have our coffee break together everyday. As I got to know her, she turned out to be a nice person, unlike my first impression of her. She’s actually cheerful and friendly.

“Snack break. Let’s?”

“Wow, you’re early. Exactly 4 o’clock, really? It means you left your desk even before four?”

“Yes,” her face suddenly turned sour.

“Oh why?”

“Argh, my boss is really making my blood boil. I don’t know how to deal with him. He’s so moody like an old man who’s undergoing a mid-life crisis!”

“Wow, your boss must be my boss’ twin,” I joked.

“No way. Sir Harley is so much better, I can still endure his mood swings. But Sir Evan? I don’t think so. I think it must be his life mission to make my life a living hell!”

“I envy you, you can endure my boss’ moods. Why don’t we just exchange bosses?” I chuckled at the thought, it made her smile.

“Silly, your boss might hear you.”

“Who cares! Come on.”

She nodded and we went out of the office together.

“You think you’re the only one who’s suffering from the boss?” I asked Desiree once we are seated. “I am suffering as well! That insufferable boss of mine! One moment, he’s flirting with me, the next minute, he’s scolding me like there’s no tomorrow! And it’s not even about something work related!”

“Huh? Are you talking about Sir Harley? But he doesn’t concern himself about anything outside of work,” Desiree looked confused.

“What do you mean he doesn’t??” my irritation shot up. “He scolded me earlier because I went to the smoking lounge!”

“But Sir Harley never told me anything before, even though I was smoking myself.”

“See! I knew it, that beast is really just picking on me! I think he must have been possessed earlier during lunch. Ugh! I don’t know anymore!”

“But what did you even do in the smoking lounge? I thought you don’t smoke?”

“I don’t smoke, but I had to meet someone there earlier to return something. Then, when I got back to my desk, my conceited boss started scolding me. He said I smell like cigarette, and that I should stop smoking. When I told him I just went there to meet someone, he got angrier and told me that second hand smoke is worse!”

“Hmm.. But that’s true.”

“Yes, I get that. But I just went there for a very, very short time.”

“Maybe Sir Harley is just concerned,” Desiree said. I snorted.

“That’s hypocrisy. It’s not as if I am not exposed to smoke outside of the office. I inhale smoke everyday that I commute to and from the office. If he’s really concerned about my health, he should just give me a car so that I will not be exposed to smoke, right? He’s really- argh! Hey, Des, are you even listening to me?”

I noticed that she’s looking pale as if she saw a ghost.

“Hey, are you sick? Are you not feeling well?” I asked her.

“N-No.. I am not sick.. B-But MJ.. You see..” she seemed to want to tell me something that she couldn’t voice out, so she used her eyes to try and communicated with me.

I frowned in confusion because I couldn’t understand what she is saying.

“So, you’re here, ranting about me huh?”

Blood drained from my face.

Shit. I'm so dead.

“Ehehe.. S-Sir Harley..” I turned to him with an awkward smile. Or more like, grimace. I am so dead.

He looked at me and smirked in such a way as if he’s telling me that ‘yes, you’re so dead!’

---------

“I know.”

I looked at Harley in surprise. We are walking back to our office. We left Desiree in the cafeteria after my boss said he needs me to do something.

“What do you mean you know?” I clarified.

“I know that you went to the smoking lounge only to meet James. I saw the two of you earlier.”

His face looked serious as he walks beside me with his hands inside his pockets.

“So you knew, but you still gave me a lengthy preaching about smoking and such?”

“Why do you have to seek him out?”

“What? Of course I needed to meet him to return the ring!”

“You could have returned it without meeting him. Did you really have to see him there as if you’re dating?”

“Dating? Hello, that’s a smoking lounge!”

“Yeah. And there were only you and him. I’m not dumb to believe that it was a coincidence that no one was there during that time of the day. That’s lunch break, people flock that place during that time. I know he arranged it so that there’s only you and him in that place.”

“Who cares? If he did, I’m sure it’s because he did not like anyone to see me returning the ring to him. Who knows if the person he’ll be giving that ring to is in this company as well.”

Harley suddenly stopped and turned to me.

“Are you affected?”

“Wha-? What?!”

“Are you still affected?” He repeated. This time, the accusation in his voice is undeniable.

“O-Of course not! I told you that the ring meant nothing to me anymore! And wait-! What’s your problem? What are you fighting for?” I placed my hands on my hips and we had a staring contest in the middle of the hallway.

“You! You are what I am fighting for!”

I grimaced. “Watch yourself, we are in the office.”

He suddenly smiled.

“Then, outside the office, you’re mine?”

“Huh?? Where did that come from? I did not say anything like that, are you crazy??”

I left him and went back to our department. The whole of Operations Team are looking at me once I got inside. Then their eyes shifted to Harley who is following me closely.

Then they all looked away and pretended to be busy with work.

Did they hear our conversations? Aaah! Harley is giving me headache!

I shook my head and went to my cubicle, but my persistent boss chased after me and pulled me to his office.

“Do you understand what I was saying?”

“No,” I simply said. He stared at me.

“I’m saying don’t do it again.”

“Do what exactly?”

“Sneaking behind me to meet him.”

I stared back at him as I am thinking about how to hit the table to his crazy head. Who knows, maybe hitting his head with the table will make it function properly.

“I’m not sneaking behind you and I only met him to give the ring back,” I explained calmly.

Hell, why am I even explaining?

His lips twitched as he put his hands back inside his pockets, then he stepped closer and stared me in the eyes.

“Did it never occur to you about what I might feel in seeing you together with your ex? You know that I like you.”

I gaped at him and stared into his eyes. And swear, I don’t know how to read it. It does not give away any of his inner thoughts.

I touched my forehead as I felt my head aching.

“For the last time, I’m telling you that that meeting meant nothing. We are now completely strangers.”

Harley looked like he wanted to disagree, but decided against it.

“Okay, I’ll hold onto your words,” then he winked at me and turned around to walk to his table. “I’ll be busy, I won’t take any calls.”

He’s dismissing me, so I started for the door. “Copy.”

True enough, my boss seemed to occupy himself with work for the rest of the afternoon. With just the two remaining working hours, he was able to focus and finish all the documents I stacked on top of his table this morning. I was even surprised when he returned all the documents to me by six o’clock.

“Distribute this now,” he ordered formally. After that, he went back to his room. He’s really in the ‘boss’ mood, he didn’t even so much as smile when he made the instruction. With that stoic face, one would never think that he is capable of flirting shamelessly to his secretary.

I stared at the mountain of documents. Did he just say ‘NOW’? As in right now, when I am already getting ready to go home??

Well, he’s my boss. I can’t defy a direct and official order. Instead of complaining, I just followed his instruction.

After distributing the documents to different departments, I went back to the office to get my things. Harley is no longer in his office.

Since everyone in the office has already left, I quickly made sure that everything is in order and that all the electrical appliances has been turned off. Then I picked up my bag and left the semi-dark office in haste before any ghost could appear.

Outside the building, a car suddenly screech in front of me.

“You took so long.”

I glared at the driver who is now smiling boyishly at me. He had the nerve to smile.

“It’s your fault!” I snapped. “Why would you send me out on an errand right after working hours?”

Harley just kept on smiling.

“So that I can ambush you here. Hop in.”

“Tch! No, thanks!”

I was about to step away from the car but he got out of it quickly and grabbed my hand, then pushed me inside the passenger side of it.

“You told me to give you a car so that you wouldn’t be exposed to the smoke anymore, so here it is! With a free driver to go with it. That’s a package deal, you get the car, you have to accept the driver, too,” he explained as he puts on his seat belt. He even glanced at me and winked.

This womanizing bastard! Is he making fun of me now??

My palm is itching to hit his smug face, but I chose to just turn my attention outside the window. He’s still my boss, after all.

We drove in silence for a while before he broke it.

“The connection between the two of you is undeniable,” I heard him say in a serious voice. I looked at him.

Harley’s eyes is looking in front, but a frown is etched on his forehead.

“Sorry?”

“You and James earlier. The way you looked at each other.”

“What? We looked like we wanted to kill each other?”

“I wish I can say yes to that.”

I went silent. What did he see?

I bit my lip and looked outside the window again, as my mind reeled back to what happened at the smoking lounge earlier.

----------

With my chin held high, I approached James who got in the lounge ahead of me. In my hand, I am clutching the box of his ring tightly. I looked at him and he looked back.

I smirked at him and sat in front of him. I really shouldn’t be doing this. I should just give the ring to him and leave. I have no business spending time near him.

I bit my lip secretly, all the pent-up questions are threatening to rise up. I heard the thumping in my chest as James met my eyes.

Maybe it’s because I’m giving him back the ring- the last piece that binds us together. Returning it to him gives a sense of finality in the severance of what used to be between us.

Maybe because this is the first opportunity I ever got to extract answers from him.

Or maybe, it’s the way he’s looking at me now. With that familiar soulful gaze that seems to penetrate inside me, as if he’s trying to read what I really think, or how I really feel.

If I will be entirely honest with myself, I will have to admit that James had never looked better. The jerk that I met in my first day here is easy to deal with because he’s easy to hate that way. But this serious look that he’s giving me now, it always gets to penetrate even my toughest wall in the past. And right now, my composure is slowly crumbling down, and I’m running the risk of making myself vulnerable once again.

“How are you?”

I didn’t know if I flinched at his sudden question. And it’s not a question that would help me build my walls back up. In fact, it’s a question that caught me off-guarded.

I laughed sarcastically.

“You ask me that now?”

He bowed his head. “Yeah, maybe I shouldn’t ask you that.”

James’ shoulders are slumped and he looked forlorn and lonely. How can he be lonely? He doesn’t have the right to look like he’s miserable. I’m sure I’m imagining things.

But even if the sadness I am perceiving from him right now is just an imagination, I cannot help but feel something squeezing my chest tightly. It’s irrational to ache for whatever pain he might have (if he really is in pain). After all, I was the victim here and I have every right to hate this guy!

For years after he left me, I hated him, despised him, cursed him.

Or are they mere defense mechanisms?

“Don’t look at me like that,” he said again.

I raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Like you want me back,” he laced his words with insult, but they didn’t match his eyes.

“Who would want a trash back?” I retorted. I’m like that, always ready to slash back.

“Am I really the trash here? As far as I remember, I’m the one who dumped you.”

His words made me indignant and furious. Yeah, do that James. Add more insult to injury, rub salt where the wound is deep.

I clenched my hands into a fist, and that’s when I realized that I am still holding the box where his ring is. I opened it and took out the ring, then I slipped it into the finger where he put it before.

I stood up and stepped in front of him. He looked up and gave me a questioning look as his gaze darted back and forth from my finger to my face.

“Here,” I extended my hand towards him. “Take it off.”

He did not answer nor move for a while.

“N-No. Give it here,” he opened his palm in front of me.

We stared at each other again, each of us stubbornly holding our grounds.

“Take it off yourself. Take it off from where you put it before. That will undo everything between us. As if I’ve never known you. As if we’ve never met,” I made sure not to waver as I look him straight in the eyes.

He smiled. I didn’t know what to make of that smile.

“If I do that, then all the damages I caused you will be erased, too? All the anguish, the hatred, the pain, and the taint I left, they will be gone?”

I went still. If I undo him from my past, then I shouldn’t be jaded as I am now, right? Because he is the reason why I cannot trust love anymore. His betrayal is the reason why I lost faith in men.

But I don’t have to admit that.

“Just do it, and let’s be off with each other,” I said as I gritted my teeth.

He held my hand. Its warmth brings nostalgia that I almost closed my eyes.

I felt as he slowly removed the ring from my finger. I choked.

James stood up when he removed the ring and placed it back to the box. He put it inside his pocket and looked at my eyes again. He smirked. “Then, let’s end it with a hug.”

Before I could protest or stop him, I am already encircled inside his arms.

And my senses zeroed in on him.

His smell.

The beating of his heart.

The feeling of being in his embrace once again.

I felt that whatever resolve I’ve mustered, it’s going to crumble down any moment. I closed my eyes as I tried to keep my tears from flowing.

I cried buckets of tears for him before. That should be enough.

This is the real goodbye.

But somehow, that thought gnaws at my heart.

-----------

I screamed in shock as the car suddenly swerved towards the side of the road and stopped.

“James, what’s with you?! Are we trying to get ourselves killed??” I turned to him with wide, horrified eyes. But I realized soon what a mistake that was.

Harley forcefully removed his seat belt and lunged towards me.

“For the record, I am HARLEY!”

And then his lips came crashing against mine.