Chapter 6

ALPHA XAVIER

The atmosphere around the cemetery took on a different feel. A certain uneasiness came up on me that I couldn't quite figure out. There was a deafening silence that it felt like I was at that moment in life when I am expected to make a life altering decision.

This was a strange feeling, one that I had never experienced even when Sue was alive. I took a deep breath and tried to relax but I was anything but relaxed. I tried a relaxation technique I had learned at a tender age. Back when life was a contest, a survival of the strongest. My parents had died trying to save me and in their honor, I decided to assume their death was a result of them being weak, so I wanted to be strong, no, I needed to to be strong, I have to be strong.

My relaxation technique failed me and I finally came to the decision that something was not right. Even though I couldn't figure it out, caution was needed. I gradually stood up from the bench in the cemetery, casting one final look at Sue's tombstone but deciding to go meet this Isabel girl.

Isabel was not just beautiful and gorgeous, she was downright enchanting. I can't deny the fact that I'm fascinated by her, but the best thing that could have happened was to stir up those emotions in her by killing my feelings for her. At first, I just wanted her to be so committed to me before I reciprocated her love, but then I found out that she was Alpha Dario's daughter.

The sages say that you are supposed to love with your heart and all of you, but common sense says you lead your heart with your head to love right. Now, I'm really confused about what to do. Something tells me that Isabel could be my undoing, but I truly..... I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

I got back from Sue's grave, anxious to meet Isabel again. I couldn't believe how fast it had taken me to arrive back at the castle of serenity, it had taken conscious effort for me not to run all the way to get back. But then again, my uncanny determination to punish her for embarrassing me also fueled my need for haste. Words of what had happened in Thornridge must have gone out and it has put a dent on my persona.

Running away from your mate on the day of your mating ceremony speaks volume. It's a public notice that you've rejected your mate and would not be forced into that union. There are many who would believe that I've kidnapped my mate and forced her into servitude, regardless of the circumstances that played out and her father's insistence that I continue with the union.

I paused at the entrance of the castle to collect my thoughts and calm my breathing. I was convinced that word would have gone out that Dario tried to give his daughter away to acquire military aid and she ran away. While I don't give a mule arse what others think about me, the whole universe knows that I have an array of females at my beck and call. But somehow, the fact that Isabel ran away was a dent on my perfect record. 'Alpha Xavier, the dominant, possessive, powerful and playboy Alpha, had a female turn him down.'

I could hear that on the lips of everyone, not just in Wolfshade, but in Lunaria, Balecheya, Darkwood, Emberwood, Rosevale, Azurevale. If Eira knows it, then everyone knows about it in all the other kingdoms. Yet, something Eira said made me feel she may have been right. I had developed deep affections for Isabel the first time I saw her. Her looks, her innocence, her naivety touched a part of me but then, why did she have to be Dario's daughter?

"Xavier, you have to take it easy. You have that look." Valerian stood before me refusing to give way. I didn't quite hear him at first.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" I asked as I came back to reality.

"Oh, not again." Valerian sighed. "Try not to zone out on me when we are talking Xi." Valerian was, well, Valerian is Valerian and he is the only person who can really match up to me and give me his piece of mind, regardless of how I feel about it. "I was saying that you have to take it easy. You have that look." He wore a concerned expression.

"What look are you talking about?" I looked him in the eye angrily. He just stood there, refusing to back down and refusing to give way either. He held my gaze and it looked more like a staring contest.

His lips gradually curled into a smile, which also triggered mine. "That's what I thought." He shook my hands and I hugged him.

"How's she doing? Marita said Alaric and Renata found her." Be careful, I tried to remind myself.

"Yes, it was a long journey, when they found her, They rode west to get me and Thalia, and we all went north to search for Cedric and Astrid." He pulled me aside so we could have some privacy.

"Thank you, thank you for finding her." Valerian was my most trusted beta, we had grown up together and have saved each other from the cold hands of death countless times. It was me and Valerian before others came, he was one of the strongest werewolves I've ever seen. Valerian has always been one to show care for the defenseless and the vulnerable. But, why was I thanking him? I began to think when I remembered that I had given Alpha Dario, her father, my word that I'd find her.

We had challenged the last Alpha, Alpha Damian, when he became too brutal and corrupt, selling the pack out to the highest bidder and seducing and bedding the mates of pack members. The ridiculous part was that he did that with pack members who were not strong enough in strength to challenge him, and many were too ashamed to speak of their predicaments. Valerian had somehow eavesdropped on Alpha Damian berating a female and bragging that her mate would not be able to do anything. He questioned the female afterwards and soon gathered his facts.

"Where's she now?" I asked a bit too eagerly. But why was I eager and somewhat excited?

"She's at a boarding house." He was watching all of me as he spoke. I guess he was searching for clues as to my intention with the female. I was certain that it must have been Valerian's idea to keep her at a boarding house, far from the castle until he can understand what I intend to do to the female. I wonder why it doesn't bother him that this female has brought shame and ridicule to the whole of Wolfshade? I already knew what he'd say, 'Don't expect all of us to mourn because you were rejected and had your ego bruised.' That was a perfect Valerian response.

"So, what now?" He finally asked, I guess he didn't like what his mind read of my body language and decided to just ask the question instead.

"What now? It's simple. I'll have her thrown in the dungeon until my mind is made up on what I want to do with her." I was still speaking when Valerian led me to a different private quarter where we usually have pack leaders meeting.

"About that, Xavier. Why do you think she ran away in the first place?" Why was Valerian so interested in Isabel? The thought came to me and I quickly discarded it. But it was strange, since he has never really shown interest in my affairs before.

"Well, at first I thought it's because she didn't want to honor her father..." I trailed off, while I tried to wrap my head around it again. Was I letting my emotions override my better judgment?

"But....?" Valerian asked, I guess the doubt was obvious on my face.

"Marita told her just before the mating ceremony that I plan to carry out my revenge on her for Sue." When I was done speaking, I noticed that Valerian was just looking at me. "Well," I shrugged my shoulders, "you know I had an encounter just now while I was at Sue's grave. They killed her for no reason, I'm still trying to figure out who she could have offended? You were there when we discovered that Alpha Damian was in bed with Dario." I suddenly became tired. Sue's death was never a comfortable topic any day, simply because it stirs deep emotions and reopens old wounds.

"Xavier, if I may." He paused as if deep in thought. "I want to play the role of a devil's advocate. I only got to know you were taking a wife on the eve of your mating ceremony, all you told us when we rode out to honor Dario's Belleteyn festival was that you wanted to explore the mountains and have fun. So you can't accuse me of being biased towards her as I didn't even know about her before now, which---" he was still speaking when I cut in.

"What is your point Valerian?" I demanded. I doubt he'd be able to sway me but it was important I let him speak.

Valerian paused and studied me for a while, before he decided to speak, in a very calm and relaxed way. "My point is this, since we found her and all through our way back home. I have been having this nagging feeling that I can't figure out. Isabel is a very beautiful girl, naive and innocent, that much is evident for everyone to see who has eyes."

"You are not making any sense Valerian, you are boring me to death with your long words." I interjected.

"For pet sake Xavier, give me a break. Give her a break. That's all I'm saying!" He yelled.

"Why should I do that?" I asked softly.

"Why shouldn't you, put yourself in her shoes. If you were told your wife-to-be was going to kill you because of something you didn't do, would you really continue with the marriage? The poor girl was probably scared to death and running was the only option on her card since her father chose to sacrifice her to save himself."

"You don't know that!" I yelled back at him but something didn't feel right. "This devil's advocate you are playing at has gone too far. She's my wife and I'll do with her as I see fit."

I was clearly not in the mood to entertain any thoughts that didn't include making her pay for what happened to Sue.

"Once upon a time we're a master strategist that employs stealth in everything he does. Now," he shook his head. "You've allowed revenge to cloud your judgment."

I laughed for a while, "Is that still part of the devil's advocate?" What he had said struck a chord within me. I clenched my fist so hard until my knuckles cracked. I could feel my anger and rage rising, and rising real fast.

"No, but it's the truth. Why don't you take some time to get to know this Isabel girl and don't be so bent on revenge. You are probably all she knows." There was something in his voice that suggested something.

Valerian has always been my confidant, I used to be the voice of reasoning while he was the rash one. But, it seemed we traded places ever since Sue died. He became the voice of reasoning while I became vindictive. Always on the edge, always lashing out, easily infuriated and always looking for something or someone to hurt.

"I see," I nodded slowly.

"Xavier, you have that look again." He raised his eyebrow slightly. There was a plea in his voice but I disregarded it.

"What look?" I was not sure what he was talking about but I knew I was moving the muscles on my face. Internally, my wolf and I were fighting, while I wanted to march to that boarding house and have her thrown into the dungeon until I had time to deal with her, my wolf was daring me to hurt her and see what became of me. Me and my wolf were supposed to always be one and act as one, which was even more confusing to me.

"The look you usually wear when your mind's made up and you just want the other person to stay clear of you." I smiled and nodded my head. "In the name of all that is good Xavier, take a break. I don't know why Marita allowed you to go visit Sue in the first place. Whatever happened to Sue is not her fault." He added with a compressed shout.

Whilst he spoke, I pondered on why he was defending Isabel. Coming from some other person I would understand, but why him? If he only met her on the eve of our mating ceremony, why was he pushing so hard? Why Valerian? Did something happen on the way back to Wolfshade that I don't know about? I had questions, I kept looking up into his face, not saying anything or even listening to what he was saying. My lips curled into a mischievous smile.