Chapter 2: Fade Into My End

A woman spoke to the camera, "Carina Sanders, an inspiring woman who is poetry in motion. She is not just an average, slim, white woman, but possesses outstanding characteristics. Her aura is like that of roses, poetry, and galaxies. She is enough to drive a saint to madness or a king to his knees with not just her beauty, but her strength, determination, fierceness, and grace. She is not just a woman, a human, a body, but a force, energy, a source, and above all, a complete masterpiece. Let's welcome the bestselling author -" Carina walked in before her name was announced, waving to the audience that couldn't stop clapping and shouting in excitement. She adjusted in the chair as the first question was thrown at her.

"How did your ideas for your first book take shape?" The woman asked.

"I thought of writing a romantic book, but I had to build a romantic world. A world of prince charming and the maid. My ideas for the book came in the form of what-ifs. What if there would be another prince who would want the maid as his own? I started mulling it over, and before I knew it, I had the whole drama unfolding in my head."

"Interesting. So how much time did you spend writing the book?"

"It took nine months. I had to think deeply about the romantic world I was building. I thought a lot and realized a lot of things that are perfect for a romantic world in my book."

"What are those things?"

"The prince charming and the maid should fall in love first before having their first kiss because if they had their first kiss before love, it wouldn't fit into the romantic world. It will be a kiss that lies. A first kiss is a kiss of rapture, exchange of hearts, and imminent marriage.

"Clothes also suit a romantic world. Every sexual advance is made with clothing. Settings, clothes, objects, all testify the ritualization of sex which is the essential character of romance just like my book." Carina said.

Carina kept on answering the questions thrown at her, but the question that hit her hard was, "What are you working on right now?"

Carina had been experiencing writer's block since she started a new book in January. She started the book and discovered that it was going off differently from the way she expected. There was a certain point in her new book where it started writing itself, certain scenes always stunned her after she wrote them, and she was like, "Where do I go from here?"

Carina answered the woman's question, "I've been spinning ideas for the next novel I am currently writing."

The woman stifled a smile. "I'm glad that you're working on a new book. I'm sure it will be more successful than this one. Good luck to you."

That was just Carina's fear, not being able to top the success of her first book. Carina chose to see herself overcome the writer's block. She went home after the interview, opened her laptop, and typed on Google "How To Overcome Writer's Block."

Google brought out tips she didn't find useful, but someone's comment on one of the pages she opened caught her attention. She read the comment - Writer's block is common for every writer. It takes time for a mind to gel a batch of ideas into a cohesive book. But it is easier and much more fun when you research your book. You are stuck on a court scene, jail scene, astronauts scene, etc in your book but researching can make things a lot simpler. Role-playing with a lawyer, observing cardiac surgery, speaking to astronauts, or milking cows on a farm can help you write based on what you are experiencing or experienced and solve your writer's block.

Carina thought - I am writing another romance book, and I need it to be completely different from the first, why is it so hard to write, I can't research this or role play intimate parts.

She buried her head on the laptop in frustration for a while as the sun pooled on the tiled floor, the breeze rustling. She raised her head, the cursor blinking in and out of sight mockingly, too many thoughts flowing in her mind, she placed her hand on the keyboard, unable to write. She began laughing hysterically and grabbed a bottle of liquor and downed it. Just then she drank another bottle till she was completely drunk.

She stared at the screen displaying funny faces and soliloquized, "Writer's block sucks!"

A brain appeared on the screen and said, "No, it doesn't."

"Who are you?" Carina asked.

"I am you."

"Huh..." She said in utter shock and disbelief.

"Don't act so shocked. I am your writer's block, and I've come to help you."

"How have you come to help me?"

"Do you know something more fascinating?" it asked.

"No," Carina said, shaking her head.

"It's me. Your imagination is your power. Trust me, you can form a good story in your head. It's all in your head." It disappeared from the screen.

Carina sighed and placed her head on the desk, dozing off. In her dream, a romantic scene began playing. She had just left a coffee shop with a man she had never met in reality, Damian Michael. They walked by, giggling, after having the best coffee in a while. The weather was perfect.

"I love the fall. I love squeezing into cheap Halloween costumes and pumpkin spice," Carina said.

"I love that too. I'll order one," Damian replied.

They held their juice, walking down the park as the rain began drizzling. Carina pulled out an umbrella from her bag.

"I don't think the rain's going to fall," Damian said.

"What makes you think so?" she asked.

She was surprised to see that the rain stopped drizzling, and they both giggled again. She opened her bag, putting back her umbrella as they sat on a bench.

"Carina, do you love me?" Damian asked.

"You are silly. Of course, I do," Carina stifled a smile. "You do love me too, right?"

"Yes," Damian replied.

They giggled once more.

"Will you marry me?" Damian asked.

Carina blushed. "And why should I marry you?" she teased.

"I guess we are made for each other. We like the same things, we do the same things, you know. It's as if we are one body. If you say yes, our love will be like a fairytale of a happy ending. It will be a vibrant color, full of passion. It will be a flower that will never stop blooming. It will be a beautiful evergreen melodious song. It will be -"

"Stop with the poetry. You flatter me a lot. I will marry you," Carina said.

He couldn't contain the happiness within him as he stood up, lifting her and spinning her around as they both kept on laughing. Another scene appeared in her dream.

"Why are you here? Oh, you thought you could leave without a word and come back for me to accept you, just like that," Carina said.

"I'm sorry for my actions," he replied.

"That's what you keep on saying, 'I'm sorry.' Please just go. What we shared then was special, but you left me when the romance was on fire. It's over between us. Just go. Leave like how you left me then."

"You say it, but you don't mean it. You don't sound convincing," he said, taking a deep breath. "Okay, if you truly want me to leave, just say it one more time, and I will leave."

Carina fought the tears in her eyes. Before she could say a word, the tears ran down. He reached out and touched her cheek, tenderly but with infinite strength. She held still.

"Go," she said softly.

Just then, as he was leaving, he turned back to look at her one more time. To his utmost surprise, he saw her collapsing. "Carina!"

She opened her eyes, beholding his face. When she turned away from him, she noticed she was in new surroundings.

"You're in the hospital because you weren't feeling well," he said to Carina.

"Thank you," Carina replied.

"I'll be staying with you for the next few days until you feel better."

"I don't want you to," Carina protested.

"But I want to," he insisted.

"Why?" Carina asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because I love you. I've never stopped loving you and I never will. My love for you is so strong that the word 'love' doesn't do it justice."

"You told me you loved me before and then you left. Do people who love each other do that?"

"I know I made a mistake and I'll never stop apologizing for it. I know you still have feelings for me too. Please, let's forget the past and focus on our love in the present."

"I don't have feelings for you anymore," Carina said firmly.

He smiled. "We both know that's not true."

Carina woke up, her head throbbing from the alcohol and her eyes still heavy with sleep. "Romance, ro-" she mumbled before drifting off again.

The scene changed and they were standing outside, a cool breeze blowing past them.

"I feel better now. Thank you for being with me, but you have to go," Carina said. Before she could finish her sentence, he silenced her with a kiss. It started slow but quickly deepened as they both gave in to the passion. Carina moaned as the pleasure overwhelmed her.

A bird in the branches above them burst into song, as if celebrating their love. The breeze carried the sweet scent of flowers as they kissed and explored each other's bodies.

Despite her protests, Carina couldn't deny the feelings that still lingered between them.

He cupped her breasts with his hands, molding and caressing them. In the magic of the moment, Carina arched into his touch, wanting more, needing everything. He trailed kisses down her neck, causing her heart to skip a beat and freeze when he reached her collarbone. She tasted him on her neck and bit back a moan as he moved his hand lower, over her ribcage, abdomen, and to the apex of her thighs, curving his fingers around her. A soft sigh of pleasure slipped from her lips, mingling with the sultry sounds of the evening. She couldn't help but cry out with pleasure as he kept nipping and exploring.

He planted yet another slow kiss on her lips, feeling her nipples graze against his chest before their lips connected. Carina's mouth was soft and warm. The kissing became more passionate as they realized the degree to which they could touch and explore each other's bodies. They groped each other blindly but tenderly, feeling a potent, explosive sexual energy that they had never felt before. It burned inside them like a fire. Carina enjoyed the moment and never wanted it to end, but then the hurt of him leaving hit her. She caught herself in this pure romance and pulled away from him.

"Just go, please..."

He respected her word and left without turning back to look at her.

Carina woke up with a headache, a stinging pain hitting her head. She couldn't remember anything that happened after drinking the liquor, but a part of her knew she played a part in a good romance book she should write.