Chapter 6

All human beings during Rapid Eye Movement, (REM,) sleep experience physical arousal. For obvious reasons, it more noticeable in males, because their equipment is on the outside. Indeed, the test for erectile dysfunction is performed by a crude mechanical device: a piece a paper taped around a flaccid penis; if one gets an erection during REM sleep, the penis brakes the paper. I don’t know how much the editorial police will excise from my writing as they proof it before publishing, but the above is straight medical fact, not erotic ploy to titillate. Of course, this next part, is fairly erotic. I was aroused physically because I was dreaming, but I was ‘aroused’ from my dream, because Loxy and I were spooning, and she was grinding against me in her sleep, a product of her own REM status, as opposed to the direct result of my own imposition against her. My right arm was underneath her head, my left arm over her, my hand over her heart, cupping a breast, and her arms pinning my left arm firm against her, as if she was a hugging a toy bear, so I couldn’t readily slip away from her. She had taken me inside of her before I was full awake, but even so, I was not in a position to really stop the proceeding intimacy short of waking her up, and I wasn’t sure how all of this might be interpreted. I suppose one should have these sorts of conversations before they sleep naked with someone, but I had failed to do so in this instance, and the fact that we had already been intimate did not allow that this particular round of intimacy would be permissible by default. And, if she did cry foul, well, there would be her friends to back her up, and so I was fairly mortified and not sure what to do.

And then I realized Keera was awake and watching. She smiled at me. My breath stopped. Did she know how engaged Loxy and I actually were? I was fairly certain she saw the gentle swaying of the petal we were using as a blanket, maybe even Loxy’ bare knees moving, and or my exposed feet, but could she discern the motion in this dim light? My answer came when I realized that Keera was taking care of her own needs, while simultaneously watching us. Witnessing Keera’s play and feeling Loxy grinding was driving me fast towards a point of no return. Loxy’s breathing changed. Based on an increase in rhythm of body movement and breath, and the increase in grip on my left arm, I expected her to ‘arrive’ before I did. Keera made a quiet whimper, as the agony on her face increased in complexity before resolving into a calm, like hitting random keys on a piano and then resolving it into an agreeable chord. Simultaneously with that, Loxy said my name in her sleep and I felt her heart move under my hand for a moment and then suddenly I was immersed in white light. I have read about transcendental experiences brought on by intimacy, but until you experience it for yourself, there is just no way for you to know. The white faded and there were sparks whizzing past and then there were stars and vortexes forming and movement and then I was back in my body. I am assuming Loxy was aroused from her sleep due to her state of ‘arousal,’ based on the fact that she shifted enough so she could kiss me and then went back to sleep, my arm still her pillow. Had she been awake the whole time and my worry had been for naught? I don’t know. Keera’s eyes drifted shut and she returned to sleep. She had a content look on her face.

I laid there, wide awake. I was satisfied sufficiently that I figured I should be falling asleep, but I was also still hard and inside Loxy, and though she was no longer grinding, she was pushed firm against me, and I was wanting more. I suspected there was a good chance I might never sleep again. I shifted and eased out of her, but because I was still against her, could still feel her warmth, her wetness, I decided it was best to surrender the petal full to her and rolled over facing away. Fortunately, it wasn’t so chilly as to be necessary to fight to get completely back under the petal. I laid there, trying to think of something else, waiting for the erection to subside. It did finally ease. Loxy turned into me, bringing the petal blanket back over me, but she had only waken just enough to cuddle into me and then was gone again. Just her arm over me was enough to ‘get me up’ again, her hand on my stomach. Trying not to move just to keep from waking her, didn’t stop the growing erection, but not moving did increase the number of itches I got, until I had to scratch just from agony, and I coughed twice. I heard Lester make a quiet grunt of protest as if he was exhausted and annoyed by the new sounds in this shared sleeping space. I wondered where I might be sleeping if I hadn’t found them. Would I even be sleeping? Loxy’s hand rubbed my stomach, which made me surprisingly light headed and sleepy. Her hand grasped my penis.

“Shh,” Loxy whispered. “Most people find it hard to sleep after Orientation.”

Her hand movements were slow and precise and magical, spreading fresh precum as lube. I really didn’t think I would cum again and was content to just lay there and be stroked, but there it was, this intense build up- and an urgency to arrive. She maintained a deliberately slow rhythm, with no discernable pattern, and so when I did orgasm, it was a surprise. She captured it in her hands as she continued to stroke, spreading the warm wetness. My eyes finally closed and my breathing deepened.

I did finally sleep, but I can’t tell you at what point in my thoughts I finally drifted. I can only report that at that moment, I hadn’t ever slept so well. I woke to find myself alone in the rose. It was open to a blue sky. Once dressed, I braved myself to ease out towards the edge of the rose, carefully pausing to test if the petal might give way and drop me due to my weight. I saw Lester sitting on the tree in the distance. Closer, sitting on a blanket on the grass, was Alish. She waved up at me.

I made my way down the stem and over to the blanket. It was like descending from a treehouse. The sun was positioned such that as I walked towards the blanket, I could barely see the sky in that direction, only bright light, but the grass was amazingly green, with dew drops that sparkled like so many diamonds littering the ground. I arrived at the blanket.

“And, another country heard from,” Alish said.

“Wow,” I said. “My paternal grandmother often used that expression.”

Alish nodded, accepting it as a compliment. It really was. Paternal grandparents were the sanest of all my family. And, as starkly different from everyone else in my family, to the point of being weird in their own right. Out of all my family I held the greatest rapport with paternal grandfather. As much as I loved my grandparents, though, they were hardly affectionate. Hugs were re-routed into handshakes. And if I asked my grandfather a question, he would get up from his lounge chair, retrieve a book from his study, and hand it to me. He would then return to his own reading. That was our conversational style. His passing affected me more than any one prior and likely forever since. How did a simple phrase take me all the way back there?

Alish handed me an orange and I came back to present.

“Loxy and Keera extend their apologies for not being here when you woke, but they had to attend class,” Alish said.

“That’s understandable,” I said. A sense of urgency overwhelmed my sense of perceived propriety. “Sorry, for changing the subject, but I really need to use a toilet. Could you point it out?”

Lester was walking back from the tree. Alish pointed to the tree.

“Ask Lester?” I asked.

“No, the toilet tree,” Alish said.

“I don’t understand,” I said.

“Ahh, I forget, first day and all. You should have asked sooner. Everybody poops, you know,” Alish said, getting up.

She walked with me to the ‘toilet tree.’ We passed a stump which she said was the lavatory and the orange peels were soap and the water worked the same way it did inside the rose. She then showed me the tree. Jutting out from the trunk was a stump like feature that either had been formed from the use of tools or genetically modified DNA, as if a modern toilet had been encouraged to grow from the tree. I now understood what Lester had been doing as he had just been sitting here mere moments ago. The only thing he had lacked was a newspaper.

“Oh,” I said.

“So, this is the more ‘Western’ side, as Lester describes it,” Alish said. “If you prefer the ‘Eastern’ method of squatting, which is actually healthier for the human body, directly opposite the toilet here is a place to squat.”

“Oh,” I said again.

“What’s wrong?” Alish asked. “This is the most natural, symbiotic relationship known in the universe. We feed the tree. The tree feeds us.” She picked an orange off a limb from above her. “Breakfast.”

“Oh,” I said.

Alish laughed. “You seem unconvinced,” she said.

“Well, I am accustomed to more privacy during my morning ritual,” I commented, but as urgency escalated, that might not be an issue before long.

“No worries. I will return to the picnic blanket. We can eat together when you’re finished,” she said. But she still sensed there was a problem.

“I know you said this is a toilet tree, but I am wondering if there are any toiletries,” I said. She clearly didn’t understand. “Paper with which to wipe my ass.”

“Oh,” Alish said, and laughed. “After you’re done and you’re ready to be clean, just slap the tree three times.”

“Okay,” I said, trustingly.

As soon as she turned to walk away, I dropped my pants and sat down on the wooden toilet. You know how in a movie you can have a perspective change? Well, for a fleeting moment I seemed outside myself, from a perspective where I could see Alish’s face as she walked away. She was smiling. I assumed she was amused by my discomfort about using the toilet in such a public forum. She tossed the orange up and caught it again.

I didn’t follow that flash of a scene from my mind that was as real as any other daydream, as if it was painted on the inside of my eyelid for the duration of a blink, but it did register on my consciousness. It was like a hypnogogic vision when falling asleep, only I wasn’t asleep. In a blink of an eye, I was back to my perspective and busy focusing on the business at hand. That’s not entirely true, as I continued watching her walk away in her thin shift which conformed to her butt because of a breeze. My eyes tarried on the back of her thighs longer than they should, long enough for me to remind myself, ‘look away.’ I brought my attention closer to home, and realized the toilet seat couldn’t have been a more perfect fit for the human butt. I had been holding off on urinating since the day before and so the stream was sturdy for more than several breaths. Morning sun filtered down through the leaves. A flower bloomed, and an orange began to grow before my eyes, as if someone were blowing up a balloon. I watched fascinated. Satisfied that I was done, I patted the tree three times and looked for toilet paper to arrive. Something touched my butt.

I flew off the toilet, tripped over my own pants, and went rolling in the grass.

Lester and Alish fell flat on their backs, laughing and pounding the ground. I pulled my pants up and fastened the belt, and washed my hands at the lavatory stump, surprised by the suds the orange peel produced. They were still laughing as I walked towards them. Lester was holding his stomach with both hands

“Oh my God, that never gets old,” Lester said. “Oh, you set that up beautifully, Alish.”

“Oh, don’t be cross, Jon,” Alish pleaded, and went back to howling with delight, resting her head on Lester’s chest.

“It’s a rite of passage,” Lester said. “The first butt licking!”

“He got his ass licked!” Alish laughed.

I sat down on the blanket and waited for them to finish their antics and puns. They finally wound down with sobs, winded as if they had run a marathon. They sat up. Their cheeks filled with air as they tried to contain it and then they fell into each other laughing again.

“Loxy and Keera are going to be sore they missed that!” Alish said.

“Serves them right keeping us up all night with their shenanigans,” Lester said. “After last night, maybe we should ask Jon what a butt kissing taste like?”

“I didn’t…”

Lester and Alish roared with laughter. I took liberty and opened the orange that Alish had picked before my eyes. Her eyes grew wide with astonishment and Lester’s eyes narrowed.

“That was mine!” Lester said.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t see your name on it.”

“But it was made with the water from his piss,” Alish said.

I spit it out and began to gag. When I finished retching, Lester and Alish roared with laughter again! They both went to the ground, slapping it. Alish actually rolled back and forth.

“Fucking noobs are easy!” Lester roared.

“I think I peed myself,” Alish cried.