My life of vengeance

A sinking feeling weighed down Hudson Caldwell’s chest ; a feeling she knew all too well. Time to tell her secrets, to let someone help her. She’d had plenty of practice with that over the years. Still, it didn’t make opening up any easier.

What if they didn’t believe her ? Or worse—what if they thought she’d lost her mind ? There’d been a time, many years before, when she had entombed herself in a world of inconsistency. But this was different. This was a matter of life and death.

Or was it ?

« Open 311, how may I direct your call ? » a gruff female voice mumbled into the phone.

Her breath stalled. The woman on the opposite end of her cell sounded sturdy—agile and secure. Someone who wasn’t afraid of anything.

Someone unlike herself.

For the hundredth time, Hudson wondered if she was doing the right thing. She swallowed hard, trying to relieve the drought that had invaded her throat. Her gaze shifted toward her long-time friend for support. With a nod of her head, Annie mouthed the words « go ahead ». She studied Hudson from the couch and toyed with the silver bracelet clinging to her left wrist.

Somewhere in the distance a car slammed on its brakes. Hudson cringed as the wheels screeched against the pavement. « I’d like to report a crime, » she began. « Well, not a crime, exactly. Or not yet anyway. »

« Excuse me, ma’am, » the voice replied, a dose of agitation creeping into her tone. « Is this an emergency ? Do you need me to connect you with the police department ? »

Ringing phones and stilted conversation monopolized the background. The operator must be swamped with calls from all over the Chicago area, phoning the information center with a myriad of needs. For a moment, Hudson debated hanging up. But if she did that, nothing would get resolved.

« No. No, it’s not an emergency, » she stammered, trying to ease the tightness in her stomach. « It’s more of an ongoing problem. » She paused, afraid of what the lady might say. More than anything, she needed to make them believe her. « I think I’m being followed. »

There. She’d said it. No taking it back.

« You’re being followed ? » the operator repeated. The pecking sound of a keyboard accompanied her words. « Where is your location ? »

Hudson shook her head, her dark blonde waves tumbling over spaghetti-strapped shoulders. « I’m sorry. I’m not being followed at this exact moment. » She hesitated again, hoping she didn’t sound like a lunatic. « Someone’s been following me in general. Like—on a daily basis. »

« So, you’re not being followed at this time ? »

« Yes. That’s correct. »

The operator released a muffled sigh. « Where do you live, ma’am ? »

Wide-eyed, Hudson turned to her friend. The operator wanted to take her information ! She figured once the woman found out she only thought someone was stalking her—a fact she couldn’t prove—she’d disconnect the call. Sometimes, that happened. People didn’t always protect the way they were supposed to. « I live on West 18th Street, in Pilsen, » she answered in one breath, then exhaled in relief.

« I’m going to transfer you to Alternative Response. They’ll help you from here. Have a nice day. » Without waiting for a response, the phone clicked over to an instrumental remake of a Lady Gaga song. Hudson waited on hold, watching dappled sunlight make varied patterns against the apartment floor. She tapped her fingertips against the case of the phone.

« Well ? » Annie eyed her with a pointed look.

Hudson covered the mic with her hand. « She’s transferring me to a different department. »

Her friend grinned and tucked her legs underneath her. « See, I told you they’d listen ! You never believe me. »

Hudson tilted her head and flashed Annie a sheepish smile. « What can I say ? »

« Well, you can start by saying : ‘Annie Ross, you are, without a doubt, the smartest human-being on the face of the Earth. And from now on I promise to believe every word that comes out of your perfect mouth.’ »

Hudson laughed and shook her head, releasing a small amount of worry she’d been holding onto. Annie was right—she was always right. But there was no way she’d admit that out loud. « I’m not saying that. It’ll come back to bite me in the butt if I do. »

« Suit yourself. At least I know you know it’s true. »

As she was about to reply, a male voice materialized on the other end of the phone. « Sergeant Molnar, Chicago Police ARS. How can I help you ? »

« Um … hello, Sergeant. » Apprehension swept over Hudson once more. She stretched her neck, trying to soothe the onslaught of tension. « I’d like to make a police report, if I could. »

« Go ahead. »

Hudson closed her eyes, hoping the officer would be able to help. How exactly, she didn’t know. But she needed relief from the fear that had been plaguing her for the past several weeks. « I think someone’s been following me. » She sucked in a breath, waiting for his response.

« You think someone’s following you ? » the older man asked slowly. « And what exactly makes you think this ? »

She let out a ragged exhale and bit the inside of her cheek. Did she really want to do this ?

Yes, she did.

No, she didn’t.

The man cleared his throat. Hudson’s stomach lurched at the sound.

It was too late to turn back now. The officer was already on the phone, waiting for her to talk. To open her mouth. To tell her secrets. Or … she could hang up. Forget the whole thing. But then nothing would get resolved and she’d continue living in fear.

Please don’t think I’m crazy.

« I can’t explain it. » Her eyebrows pinched together. She had nothing solid to base her claim on, other than a strong hunch. How would she ever be able to convince him ? « It’s just a feeling I have, as if someone’s watching me ; following me everywhere I go … » Her voice trailed off, unsure how to justify her suspicion.

« So, nothing’s happened ? It’s just a feeling you have ? » the officer asked, his tone amused yet annoyed.

« Yes, sir. »

« Okay, » he said, the word drawn out like a sigh. « Have you noticed anyone unusual hanging around your work, your home, the places you hang out ? Something concrete you can give me ? »

Shit. There it was. Her worst fears confirmed. Unshed tears blurred her vision. How could she file a complaint if she didn’t have an incident to report ?

Hudson glanced again at Annie and the corner of her mouth pulled down. Her friend sank deeper into the purple suede sofa and buried her face in a throw pillow.

« No sir, nothing’s happened. But I feel as if it’s about to, » she pleaded, her hand clenching and unclenching at her side. The officer probably took her for another nut-job with nothing better to do than waste his time. Chicago was crawling with time-wasters. Crackheads. Criminals. Parasites sponging off society.

« And have you had this feeling in the past regarding other matters ? »

A slow burn scorched a path across Hudson’s cheeks. Why had she called the police in the first place ? Damn it Annie for talking her into this ! What did she think they were going to do ? Protect her from a person she couldn’t even see ?

« No, sir. » A ribbon of dread uncoiled in her chest. She stared unseeing at the tips of her Strawberry Sangria-polished toes.

The officer let out a sharp exhale. « Young lady, what exactly would you like me to file a report on ? »

« I don’t know, » she muttered. « I just thought maybe you could make a note somewhere ? Then in case something happened this would all be on record. »

« You want me to make a note ? » He didn’t bother to a hide his snort. « Let me ask you this : do you have a history of visual or auditory hallucinations ? Paranoid ideation ? Because I can refer you to psych services if that’s the case. »

« No ! Of course not. » Didn’t he hear what she said ? She wasn’t crazy ! Someone was definitely following her. « Never mind, officer. Thank you for your time. »

Hudson ended the call before the man could respond, and shoved the cell phone into the pocket of her sundress.

Annie lifted her face from the pillow. « I’m so sorry, hun. I thought they’d take this seriously. I should have known better… » Her head shook in disgust.

« It doesn’t matter. » Hudson sank into the cushion next to her and let out a long breath. « I wish I’d never even called. Now I just feel paranoid and stupid. »

« You’re not ! Who gives a flyin’ fuck what that asshole cop thinks anyway ? » Annie sat up straight, her raven curls framing cheeks pink with agitation. She hurled the pillow across the apartment floor, her blue eyes narrowing. « If you feel like someone’s following you then that’s good enough for me. From now on I don’t want you to go anywhere by yourself, do you understand ? You need to have someone with you at all times. »

« Oh, yeah. Like that’s going to happen. You’re never home. And Jacob’s in Michigan for the next few weeks, » she said, referring to their friend who lived two floors down. She shook her head and stared at the floor. « I’ll be fine. My mind is probably just overreacting, or something. »

But how could she be sure ?

She didn’t like to jump to conclusions, but the sensation of someone watching her every move had her on edge. And now that it was obvious the police weren’t interested in helping her, what was she supposed to do ?

Just once it would be nice to feel safe and secure. Stability. How was it possible to miss something she’d never had ?

« Don’t worry, » Annie said, like she could read her mind. « I’ll think of something. »

Hudson didn’t bother to look up. What was the point ?

Her friend jumped up from the couch and paced barefoot along the hardwood floor. The scent of lavender shampoo trailed after her. « I have connections at work. I’ll talk to my friend Molly and get her opinion. I think a semi-automatic would be the best way to go. They’re easy enough to use and even easier to get a hold of —« 

« Wait, what ? » Hudson’s head snapped up, her eyes widening. « I am not getting a gun ! »

« You don’t have to get one. I’ll get one for you. » Annie knelt down in front of her and grasped her hands. « You don’t have a family to watch out for you, so I’m going to do what a best friend should do. And that’s take care of you. Just like when we were kids. »

Hudson looked away, trying to swallow past the growing lump in her throat. It’d been a long time since she had someone watching out for her. And as terrifying as a gun sounded, maybe it would make her feel safer. The knife she’d hidden beneath her pillow wasn’t nearly enough to alleviate her fears. Not anymore.

Oh, God. What would Gran say ? If she knew Hudson was contemplating Annie’s suggestion, she’d roll over in her grave. She’d never even held a gun, much less fired one in self-defense ! But what choice did she have ? Her shoulders slumped forward. « All right. »

« You’re sure ? » Annie asked.

The shock in her friend’s voice made Hudson smile. To be honest, she was a little surprised she’d agreed to it herself. « I’m sure. With Jacob away and you working nights, I guess I’d feel better having some sort of protection. »

Annie let out a squeal and folded her into a tight hug. « I’ll take care of everything. I promise. The bouncers at the club are very accommodating. They can usually get us anything we want. »

« Thank you for helping me. » Hudson pressed her lips together before speaking again. « I hope it won’t be an inconvenience. »

Annie shrugged. « Don’t give it a second thought. And besides, » she added, giving her hands a comforting squeeze, « I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you. »

Hudson fell silent and stared out the window. As the sun dipped behind the building, shadows elongated across the walls of her apartment. She knew what that meant. Annie would be leaving soon and she’d be alone, left to fend for herself.

Hudson tried not to tear up as her friend stood to leave. « You’re such a good friend, » she said, rising to her feet. « You’ve always been here for me. I don’t know what I would do without you. Especially now that the cops don’t believe me. »

« Don’t worry about those assholes. I believe you. » Annie tossed glossy, black waves over her shoulder. « And lucky for you, that’s all that matters. »

As Annie turned to leave, Hudson’s stomach twisted with discomfort. She grasped the edge of a table to steady herself. When she pulled her hand away, sweaty fingerprints lingered on the glass.