never love anyone

Chapter 9

Steve's POV

I just nodded as Reel said those things. I can't look at his face because I was really hurt by what he said. It felt like I was a loser. I could not contradict what he said because I knew in myself that he was right.

He has the right to be the father of his son. His daughter whom I love so much and his ex-wife who is the only woman I love.

I also left when he left. I drove my car going home. I don’t know but it seems like the weight of how I feel. What he said hurt so much. I arrived home like a withered vegetable.

"Son what happened to you?", Mommy asked.

"I'm just tired mom.", I approached her and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm going to sleep.", I immediately went upstairs after I said that.

I took a quick shower. While looking for something to wear, my eyes landed on a box. I get it and lay on the floor. I also went to Indian sit. As I stared at the flesh, I couldn’t help but cry. I know points are deducted when the man cries but I really cry.

There are my old diaries when I was in college and high school and believe me or not, all that was written there are about Jaynee. Since the first time I met her, her likes and dislikes. How we became friends. My heartbreaks and her happiness.

The things she gave me as a gift, the things I wanted to give her but I needed up not giving to, such as bracelets, her favorite manga series that were hard to find in those days. Keychains that he likes to collect. But what most caught my attention is the silver necklace with an infinity pendant embedded with tiny black and white diamonds. I was supposed to give it to her on the day I confess my feelings.

I then remembered how we first met. We were in the same school nung highschool. We were even in the same class to be exact. We started as classmates, then friends because of his loudness. As time goes by I gradually fall for him.

"Steve, I'm free!", He said one day and walked over to me even though I couldn't reach him.

That was the first time I felt uncomfortable with her touch. I felt like I was electrified by what he did. Not like this for the past days.

"All right!", I said and I freed him. I’m glad to see him happy and enjoying the food I’m free.

I didn't know that I was staring at her for a long time.

"Hey what are you looking at? Don't tell me that you're regretting your ? You're so bad! I hope you just said you're not the one who's being forced!"

I smiled at her childishness and messed up her hair.

"Silly. Just eat, I'm just glad to see you eating well.", I said and returned his food in front of him.

She smiles and that smile made my whole world upside-down.

Until I realized my feelings for her. At a young age, I knew I already loved him. For several years I also kept my feelings for her a secret. Lately I also notice that he is always happy. She's always smiling whenever she's alone.

"Are you happy?", I asked when I saw him smiling alone.

"Because I saw my crush earlier.", My heart suddenly felt like it was pounding at what he said. " He's really handsome Steve! What's his name? Where does he live? He already has a girlfriend? But it looks like he doesn't have one yet!", She stated happily while I was being tortured by jealousy.

"Ah eh-I have to go I still have class!", I said and turned around to go to the classroom when he pulled me. Then here comes this feeling again.

"What class do you still have? Maybe you forgot that we're classmates and ma'am said we don't have school.", I just scratched my neck.

I forgot, we are just classmates and friends!

Almost everyday, every time we are together he opens his mouth to crush. I ask her where she is studying and at a university, so maybe it's college.

"He's really wild! I've followed him many times but I still don't know his name. I can't go to their university!", He complained one day. "Steve help me oh!", She asked me to help her.

He also became a stalker of his crush and that was painful for me. I can't confess because I might be bashed.

"S-sure! Let's wait for him later.", I told him

"Hey! You're really the best Steve! That's why I love you so much! But of course as a friend I have a crush!", Because of what she said my heart seemed to be buried even though it was still beating.

Friend. For her I am just her friend. Nothing more, nothing less because someone already owns her heart. And that someone is not me.

Like I said, we looked forward to him at the university studying his crush. Jezreel is also studying here and is in his first year of college. But Reel was not there because Tito took him to Australia for a business trip.

Jaynee was still excited that time.

"W-what will you do if ever you see him?", I asks. She shook her head.

"Nothing yet. I'll look at him first for now. I'm also going to college here so I can always see him.", She replied smiling.

We waited for minutes, then minutes becomes hour, then hour becomes hours but there is not even a shadow of his crush.

"Let's go home, maybe they're looking for you.", He nodded with a shrug and walked ahead.

I am just at her back, following and secretly looking at her.

"If only I could crush you, I hope you won't have a hard time because I will do my best for you.", I said softly.

For the next few days, she's really sad. Maybe because he can no longer see his crush. As a friend, of course I was the one he leaned on. Until suddenly the cheerful Jaynee I had met came back.

"So? Why do you look so happy?", I asked here.

"Because I saw him again. Maybe he's busy these past few days so I didn't see him.", I just smiled at what he said.

I am happy for her. I'm not the reason for his smiles but still I am happy.

Time passed by. We are now in the second year of college. Jaynee was studying at that university but I decided to enroll in another university because it was more painful for me to see them.

When it was my 20th birthday, mom threw a party for me at home. Of course, I invited Jaynee. There are also many guests but her presence makes me happy the most.

"Happy birthday Steve! Here's my gift!", He said enthusiastically and handed me a box. "Open it.", He smiled as he was excited to see my reaction to his gift.

I almost cry when I saw her gift. It was a photo album, a very special one. We have pictures there and also a lot of designs so I know he made them himself.

"Didn't you like it? Sorry! That's what I thought of as a gift for you because I know you have a lot of expensive gifts to receive. So I decided to put an effort on my gift. I even put our pictures there.", She stated shyly .

"Hey look at me!", I called her and so she looks at me. "I love it! This is the best gift ever!", I can't take my smile as I say those words. I hugged him with great joy.

"It's good that you liked it! I thought you didn't!"

"Let's go to the garden, I have something to give you.", I pulled him immediately to the garden.

"Ano naman aber?", He said calmly.

"Just!"

While I'm holding her right hand, my other hand is holding for the little box inside my coat. These are the few years I have accumulated. It is a silver necklace with an infinity pendant with tiny black and white diamonds.

I know he only thinks of me as a friend but I still want him to know that I love him. I know I'm taking our friendship into risk but I don't want to regret not being able to confess my real feelings.

I thought that day was the one I was waiting for the most to express my feelings but that day, turns out to be one of my most heartbreaking days. I saw him dumbfounded and his eyes were shining as he looked straight at my cousin Jezreel.

"Hey! What's wrong with you? Are you sick?", I touched his forehead but nothing happened.

I looked at Reel who was busy talking to his buddies. I was going to take out the box but I just returned it.

"N-here's my crush!", He stammered clinging to my arm.

"W-who?", Based on the way she looks at my cousin I know she's the one Jaynee is referring to.

"S-siya! Yung naka-long sleeve ng light blue!", My world suddenly stops when she pointed Reel's direction and describes what he wears. “Do you know him?”, I nodded. "What's his name?", She asks with excitement.

"H-he's Jezreel Montellon, my cousin.", I just bowed after I said that.

I'm crying because my cousin is still my rival to the woman I love.

"Is this Destiny Steve? You're just my crush's cousin! Introduce me oh!", He insisted.

And because I wanted him to be happy, I did. We walk towards him. I can feel her shaking hands so I held it.

"Relax," I whispered.

"I'm nervous Steve.", She replied.

"Don't be.", I said softly because of the extreme pain I was feeling.

"Hey Aiden Steve! Happy birthday bro!", Reel greeted when he saw me. His two friends also approached and greeted me.

"Thanks. By the way, this is Jaynee.", I introduce Jaynee to them.

"Your girlfriend?", Reel asked.

"H-no. He's just my B-bestfriend.", I tried not to stutter but couldn't.

"H-hi! I-I'm Jaynee Silvestre.", He said shyly shaking hands with the two especially with Reel.

"I'm Darius Villanueva!"

"I'm Ivan Dave Delgado."

"I'm Jezreel Montellon. Pleased to meet you Jaynee.", Reel held out his palm.

Since that day, Reel has always been Jaynee's topic. It's jealous but I'm not in a position to be jealous. She's not mine to begin with. I am just a friend to her.

Until one day he came to me crying.

"Shhh! What's wrong?", I worriedly asks her.

"M-he already has a girlfriend!", He cried when he found out that Reel had a girlfriend.

I hug her.

"Shhh! Don't cry. There are still a lot of men there. The others are just around the corner.", I'll tell you here.

"But I love him. He's the one I want Steve! I love your cousin!", My hand fell hugging him when he said that.

It hurts to hear from the person you love that he loves someone else. I lost control of my tears and they suddenly strode down my eyes. I stopped them but the time they stopped me came out.

"B-why are you crying Steve?"

"P-can I just be Jaynee?", In the tone of my voice I look desperate.

"What are you talking about?", He asked.

"Jaynee you're really numb! Can't you see? Can't you feel it?", Frustrated question.

"What is it ?!", his voice rose as well.

"Jaynee I've loved you for a long time!", There.

I’ve also said how I really feel that I hid for almost seven years. I was just crying as I bent down.

"Y-you're kidding right?", He asked.

"I'm Jaynee please!", I knelt in front of him. "I love you so much. Give me a chance to love you.", I was still crying.

"Steve stand up please!", He helped me stand up so I did too. "I'm sorry but I love your cousin. He has a girlfriend but they are not married yet so I still have a chance.", He said.

It hurts!

That was the first time she rejected me

I just close my eyes as I remember what happened then. Even then I loved Jaynee dearly. I never love anyone aside from her. I had flings but I didn't have a girlfriend because no matter what I do, I can't move on with Jaynee.

I was about to sleep when I received a text message. A smile morphed from my lips because it's from Jaynee.

From: pretty

'Are you asleep yet?'

To: pretty

'Not yet.'

'Aren't you asleep yet?'

From: pretty

'I miss u!

I laughed at his text. Even without any effort, he can make me feel great!

To: pretty

'What do you need?'

From: pretty

‘Ouch I don’t even miss u too!

'You don't love me anymore, do you? Do you have anyone else? Who? Because I will go bald

Hahaha! He looked really young once. Contributes immediately.

To: pretty

'Tsk! I don't love you alone. I love you and I miss you too. '

From: pretty

'Just make sure.'

To: pretty

'Oh where do I love you too?'

From: pretty

‘You look so! Will I find lost & found? '

Ay! I see he's complaining again! It's really a different kind of sulk.

To: pretty

'We just have a date tomorrow.'

Within seconds he had an immediate reply.

From: pretty

'You said huh no deprivation!'

'I love you too

'Good night!

I just laughed at him. She's really immature sometimes but undeniably cute. She's too possessive. You'd think I'd kidnap someone else.

Now I can sleep with my chest open because I know that the woman I love loves me too.

TO BE CONTINUED....