Chapter 4

Carolina

- When I'm with my friends downstairs I don't want you to go down with the children, because their screaming and laughter gets in the way - she looked at the three of us who were sitting on the bedroom floor - And don't teach those poor things to mine children, I don't want them sitting on the floor, get up” – she gestured – “Walk up with them.

- All right, Thamara, I'm not going to play with them like that anymore, I'm sorry - but I want to jump on this witch's neck.

- Is it really good, or do you already know where you're going - she looked at the toys in the room - Are there any toys missing for them?

- My desire to say is missing your mother's attention, but I was silent - Something new that they have released and that I haven't seen, I go to the hairdresser and then to the mall and I already buy.

- I imagine not, there are a lot of toys here – and I pointed to the room.

- I don't want to be left out of the news and my friends' children win first than my children, after all, daddy works for them and I have the best and the best, isn't it Thomas - she took her hand to play with the boy and he curled up in my lap – Well I'm leaving and I don't know what time I'll be back, take good care of them, after all you get paid for this – and then she left the room kicking her heels and at that moment it was the only one since the day since that I started working that she expressed something to her children.

A week has passed at my new job, Luna was already playing with me and felt comfortable and Thomas was the funniest baby I've ever seen, sometimes I think if Miss Thamara fires me how much I'll miss them both.

Speaking of the babies' mother, I hardly see her, she is always at some event, at a social with her friends or at a party, but never with her children.

She rarely comes to the room to see them.

Her children's uncle Fernando lives here in the house and the two maintain some kind of intimacy that is unknown to everyone or that everyone closes their eyes and pretends not to see.

Aunt Ivone said that she's seen some affection between the two a few times, but that's not for me to intrude.

Mr. Pedro works all day and only comes home at night and runs to see the children.

- Aunt Carol, I really like you you know - Luna tells me.

- I like you a lot too, my little girl.

- Aunt Carol you won't stay here with us much, did you know?

- Why did your mother say something?

– I widened my eyes – Will she send me away?

Will you fire me?

- No - she smiles, how can a little girl that size have that intelligence - It will be for something else, but know that we both like you a lot, me and Thomas and that we will be fine.

- Credo Luna, stop saying those things, you scare me girl – I tickle her – I'll do everything to stay here with you for a long time – actually I also need to pay the bills.

What she told me makes me intrigued, because I can't be fired, not now that I lost my house and the little money I got from the sale of my father's houses I kept saved so I could support myself and buy a little house for myself more forward.

Had she heard something about getting me fired?

The children's father arrived at night before dinner and went up to see them, Dona Thamara had not yet arrived from the hairdresser or wherever she went, I confess I'm getting exhausted, I know the salary is great, but I'm very tired .

I love children, but I'm getting exhausted.

- Carolina we are going to take a trip and wanted to take the children with us.

- It's ok, Pedro, just let me know the day to tidy up their little things.

- You have passport?

– he asks me.

- I don't have your Pedro, I've never been out of the country – I tell the truth.

- My love, do you think that poor people leave the country, of course she won't have a passport - the witch appears at the door of the children's room with her hair brushed and perfect makeup and what's beautiful is boring.

- You look beautiful dear - he tries to kiss her, but she pushes him saying that it will ruin the makeup and he gets embarrassed - Many middle class people are visiting other countries dear - he looked at me - Carolina I'm going to ask my secretary to arrange everything for you, pack your bags and get everything ready.

- Honey, I'm going out to dinner with my friends – Mrs. Thamara says and he doesn't seem to like it, but she doesn't pay attention – I don't know when I'll be back, I just came to change clothes – she goes to him and touches her lips with his and leaves quickly without him opening his mouth to question.

- I'll be at Carolina's office - and then he left, and I heard the noise of her car leaving the mansion gate, poor Mr. Pedro.

The children slept, I turned on the baby monitor and went down to my room, another girl was hired to stay with them at night so I could sleep since I had to work the other day all day.

And with this trip I wouldn't have the week off.

But I'm happy, I'll be able to see some other place in the world and with my money I would never be able to.

I looked out the window and the moon was so beautiful, so round and big, lighting up the blue sky full of stars.

It looked like a hand-painted picture and seemed to enchant us with its beauty.

I decided to go for a walk in the garden of the house, I put on a loose and comfortable dress, the wind hit my hair and I took a deep breath smelling the roses that I had there in the garden.

- The roses leave a scent and still provide us with a beautiful landscape - the voice behind me startled me.

- Mr. Pedro, you scared me - I put my hand on my chest after the scare I got.

- I'm sorry it wasn't my intention – he sighs – I needed to breathe a little and I looked out the window and the moon was so beautiful, I decided to come here to see it more closely.

- I also saw how beautiful she is today and I came to contemplate her.

- Is the other nanny with the kids?

- Yes, but I brought the baby monitor, in case they cry and the girl is surprised.

- My children got attached to you – he had a bottle of wine and a glass that I hadn't seen before – You give them more attention and affection than their own mother.

- I like them very much and I take care of them as if they were mine.

- I see – he was upset – Do you want a glass of wine?

- I can't drink Mr. Pedro.

- Have a drink, you're out of your working hours and I'm your boss, I'm not going to fight with you.

- But Mrs. Thamara may not like it and I really need my job.

-Dona Thamara will not arrive now, when she goes out with her friends, she only arrives at dawn - he gave an awkward smile.

He poured me a glass of wine and drank a sip from the spout, we started talking about Thamara, how frustrated he was when he found out she was pregnant, that the two were separated and she appeared pregnant, he seemed to have already drunk before coming to the garden, because he talked nonstop and told their whole story and even his fears he told with every sip he gave in the bottle.

The fears that she would leave him and take the children, so he did all her wishes.

And that he had a lot of money and wasn't happy, that he loved his wife but she didn't love him and he knew she only wanted the money he had.

After a few more sips he confessed that he knew Thamara has a lover, but he didn't find out who she is and that at this moment he suspected that she is with the guy.

And the thought that came to my mind was of his brother Fernando.

Mr. Pedro was very drunk, and I was also high, I wasn't used to drinking and I ended up drinking two glasses of wine and got a little dizzy.

And more and more my boss was close to me.

- Carolina you are so beautiful - he ran his fingers over my face.

- Imagine, I'm pretty - I got up and to my surprise he got up too - I think I'll go in, tomorrow I have to get up early to take care of the children.

- Don't you want to drink another bottle of wine with me?

- I don't think it's better, Mr. Pedro – then I remembered Aunt Ivone and that I should keep my distance from my boss – I'm going to come in, Mr. Pedro, excuse me.

-Stay a little longer - he holds my hand preventing me from going.

- Seu Pedro – I can't finish the sentence.

He approaches me and he gets close, very close and his hand holds my face and his eyes stare into mine breathing gets heavy, he leans his forehead on mine and if I stay here something will happen that could get me out of my job tomorrow even, my mind screams for my body to get out of his arms, his mind seems to fight with him too and before something happens that harms us I push him and run towards my room.

- Don't you look where you're going girl?

– Mrs. Thamara is there staring at me after hitting her and almost knocking her down – Did you see any ghosts?

- I was outside and I went to get it - I thought of what to say, because she almost caught us - To get something of mine and I'm afraid of the dark so I came running.

- Fear of the dark?

How old are you girl?

– she looks me up and down – Go straight to your room, it's late and you have to get up early – I start walking through the kitchen heading to the servants' hallway – Have you seen my husband, Carolina?

- I?

- Any other Carolinas here?

- I didn't see him, I didn't see anyone – but I froze when I heard the question and said quickly – I'm going to my room, good night – and I walk as fast as I can.

Arriving in my room, I close the door and lean against it, I think about what I almost did in the almost kiss and what time that woman had arrived that I didn't hear the noise of her car, maybe I was so numb that I didn't hear it.

I never get close to Senhor Pedro again, never