CHAPTER 2

The sight of the Mazur's family doctor greets my eyes the moment I flicker them open. I can't surmise for how long I had been in slumberland, but I can tell for a fact that it wasn't some mere forty winks.

Jerking myself up, I first ignore the doctor and ricochet my eyes around the humongous bedroom of Ray in search of him. I am still tucked in his bed, but I can't seem to find him anywhere. Not even his scent can be sniffed.

"Mr Mazur Jr asked me to watch over you. He went down for breakfast." The doctor says upon realizing my unrest, his eyes scrutinizing my face in a manner that doesn't sit well with me.

But on a lighter note, I can infer his curiousness. It's very much well warranted. What on hell is a maid doing in the little master's bedroom, and on his bed to be precise, right? Well, I am not just about to explain myself. If Ray left him in charge, I am sure he left him with clear and concrete instructions.

But, maybe I can ask what caused that blackout? I still feel a bit weak, but that is normal given the tons of chores we do here.

"Okay. So, why did I black out all of a sudden?" I implore to the doctor who seemingly seems to be in an exam room.

Why the hell is he scrutinizing at me as if I am an alien? I get this must be confusing to him as it would be to anyone, but can he at least try and cloak his confusion even just a little. His gazes and scrutiny are freaking annoying!

"Has this happened before, miss..." He stops, letting me know that he doesn't know my name.

"Irma, and no. It's the first time I have experienced it. Anything I should be worried about?" I ask, springing to my feet because duties and chores are howling at me. I am sure people are wondering where I am.

And on that note, I cross my heart in the hope that the madam hasn't noticed my absence. She is totally gross, especially if you mess with her. I can't afford to piss her off. One thing she doesn't tolerate is someone lurking in their work, or crossing the boundaries. As soon as now, I should sprint outside like a rocket. Hopefully, just hopefully, she hasn't noticed my absence?

"Uumh, it's pretty normal, Miss Irma. And from now on, you will experience similar episodes more often."

Huh?

I snap at this doctor who presumably doesn't know what he is ranting about. It's normal to blackout like that? Since when? And what the hell does he mean it will be a frequent shit from now on?

"I don't get you, doc. Since when did a blackout become a normal thing?" I query, glaring at the doctor who is returning the glare with equal intensity as mine. "And I scorn the way you are glaring at me!" I almost yell, but under gritted teeth to curb the howls from getting out of this room.

It will be total disaster if anyone gets to know that I am here. If it weren't for that, I would have howled my lungs out to this annoying weirdo. I have always termed him as a cool professional those times I have seen him in this palace, but today I vouch that I was wrong. I might end up slapping the shit out of him if he doesn't quit glaring at me as if I am an alien. Or a some weird creature.

He breaks thd eye contact after my warning, blinking a couple of times as he peruses a clear page of his diary or whatever.

"Forgive me, Miss Irma. I meant no offence. By any chance do you remember when you last had your mens?" He asks, after composing himself, the pen ready hugged between his fingers to pen down my riposte.

"Umh..." I shut my mouth as soon as I open it.

Well, when was that?

My mind takes a long cruise through my mental calendar, scrambling through it to see when that was, and yes. I remember. That was last month but two. And well, irregularities are so normal in my case. I normally don't worry about it unless it goes past the third month. So, yeah! Nothing absolutely to fuss about.

"Two months ago." I shoot, and he shoots a glare back at me. "It happen so often." I clarify to soothe his curiosity or whatever that is going through his mind.

He pens that down.

"In that duration, have you felt any kind of somnolence, mood swings, anything out of the ordinary?" He queries.

Well, we all get tired here. Every single day is a work day. We spend the whole day running up and down with endless chores so, yes, weariness is common. Mood swings, hang on...

"It's always crazy busy here, doc. It's normal to feel all sorts of things, and also understandable to not pay attention to what your body feels. I haven't had time to track anything." I sincerely respond.

"Well, in that case, may I suggest you come down to the clinic so we can run a few tests? Just to be sure." He asks, and I furrow my eyebrows.

Tests? For what?

"What kind of tests?" I implore.

"My, assessment indicates that there is a high possibility that you are... pregnant!"

Bewilderment and nausea catches me off-guard. I am thunderstruck, and I find my feeble self slamming on the bed with my butt.

Turmoil and despair, scepticism and denial, all surge in me like savage explosions, erupting an indestructible internal catastrophe.

Pregnant?

Pregnant!?

Dear heavens, dear heavenly Father who seateth at the throne of mercy, don't do this to me. This gotta be a joke. I can't afford this for now. Not when Ray still doesn't have the guts to tell his family about us. Not when there is still this vagueness in our relationship.

As if the heavens had their doors shut when I was making that short prayer, the door flows ajar, and Ray strides in, his sweet scents stroking that familiar adrenaline rush and sparkles all over me.

It would be heaven to have a mini him, the fruit of our love, but how would he take the news? How would a pregnancy compromise his life? What would it mean to him?

"Doc? What's wrong with her?" He implores after taking his stand beside me, his rightful place, his loving arm possessing my waist.

"She is..."

"I am fine, Ray!" I hijack the doctor's statement, earning questioning glares from them both. "The doctor asked that I go down to have a few tests but I was just telling him that it's not necessary. I feel...okay now." I lie. It stings to lie with this boldness to the man I love, but I have to.

"But miss Irma, like I said..."

"Doc," I cut him off again, and this time he seals his lips, perhaps getting my memo, "if this happens again, I promise I will come to see you. But for now, I don't see the point." I emphasize.

The doctor lazily nods his head.

"If you say so." He says.

Great! I was about discharge a sigh of relief, but I had forgotten I have a smartass for a secret boyfriend. He doesn't get fooled easily, and this wasn't just about to be his first time.

"I think it's necessary. We are doing the tests, doc!" Ray speaks.

My breath gets hooked somewhere in my throat as I snap my face to him. I am struggling to breathe as our eyes meet. I know the look in his eyes. It speaks bold dominance. Something that you wouldn't want to defy, but I have always found a way to soothe him. This won't be my first time failing, right?

"But, Ray, I..."

"My decision is final, Irma." He cuts me off. "You are not okay. We need to know what the problem is." His despotic voice echoes with power.

"Come on, Ray! I said I am fine. There is no need for this, honestly." I plead, but who am I fooling?

"We will see you in your clinic tomorrow, doc. I will personally accompany her." He says to the doctor, ignoring my plea.

"Very well, Mr Rayson. I should leave now. See you tomorrow." The doctor says, grabbing his bag.

"Sure, doc. Remember, no single word about any of this to anyone. Can I count on you?" Ray asks.

"You have nothing to worry about, Mr Rayson. My mouth is sealed." The doctor replies, not forgetting to throw a quick glance at me.

I would like to know what's going on in this doctor's head but think I will have no way of finding it out.

After they shake hands, the doctor marches out of the room, leaving me and Ray alone, staring at each other. I don't know what he is thinking, but I am wondering what his reaction would be if the doctor's assumptions are correct. What would happen? Will he finally grab the bull by its horn and acknowledge me as the love of his life to his parents? Then we get married and start our family? Would his parents accept me? Or what would he do?

"It's best if you rest for today." Ray breaks the stare challenge, and now I feel like bursting into bitter outbursts of laughter.

Rest, he said?

"Are you mocking me, right now?" I snap. "The Madam will kill me if she learns that I haven't reported to my duties until now and you are talking of resting for a whole day?" I am fuming inside with unwarranted rage. I feel so angry but I can't tell with what. Maybe the thought that he isn't contemplating breaking this secret out soon is taking a toll on me.

"Leave my mother to me. I will talk to her." He says, calmly.

Ooh, he will? Great, right?

"What will you tell her, Ray? Will you tell her who I really am to you?" I ask, and his face drops.

He isn't ready.

"Come one, Irma. It's not..."

"Not the right time?" I cut him off, and he raises his face to confront mine.

"You know why that is." He pleads.

"You know, Ray. I love you so much, and you know it. But I don't want this secret relationship anymore. There is nothing like the right moment for anything in this world. It's all about grabbing the opportunity and making the moment right for what we want. What we love. Until you are brave enough to let your people know about me, don't come near me!" I stare at him, and I feel his hand leave my waist, his eyes scanning the layers of my eyes one by one.

I thought I was bold enough to make my demands. I deserve it. It's my right to ask this, right? Why do I feel like I am about to break down now? Why am I feeling hurt even before he says anything?

Or maybe it's because he seems dry of words. It's clear on his face. I can't even decipher well the look he is giving me nor can I understand his facial idioms. One second he seems so pregnant with a zillion things to say, perhaps excuses. The next second he is just flat, like he has absolutely nothing to say about this.

Well, I am not a magician, nor an angel to understand what he is thinking about. And before I break down in front of him, before the pain I'm concealing inside bursts out, I leave him to ponder on my demands. With a very heavy heart and a weary self, I stride out of his room.