Chapter 4

GABRIELLE, I’VE OVERSTAYED MY WELCOME

College has come and gone. That day after I managed to drag my broken body back to my room and I looked at my paperwork again – I fucking sobbed. He was right. Of course he was. He wouldn’t make it up. I must have seen ‘scholarship’ and figured I had my ticket out of this fucking place – but it only covered school. I have no money – he has made sure of that. Part of how he controls me. Mom too. Difference is – she fucking wants it, allows it.

He has now been raping me for nine years.

If I knew how ‘good’ I had it back, compared to what my life has become now… well. Odds are I wouldn’t still be here to enjoy his fucking hospitality. Since I didn’t go to college, I have become a prisoner in my own house. His house. It isn’t home anymore. Hasn’t been for an awfully long time. I haven’t left his four walls in almost five months. His control over me is… obsessive. Possessive. I hated my life before but now I’m fucking afraid. Because since he doesn’t let me leave, he isn’t worried about bruising me, or leaving marks. So he hits me as often as he rapes me.

She hits me now too.

After my college dream was destroyed, I started fantasizing. A knife to his heart… running him over with his own fucking car… making her watch while I fucking do it. I tried extremely hard to focus on anything but the shithole my life had become – then Piper left for college. Having her an hour away before was hard enough – now she’s six hours away by fucking plane. So with dark, horrible thoughts to carry me through visit to visit when Piper returns home from school – I have lived in this fucking prison they have me trapped in for the last two years.

But my guardian angel has finally shown up. About fucking time, bitch!

They are going to be away tonight. Some big work thing and they get a free hotel room. Big deal. He can buy the fucking hotel but since it is free, no way they won’t take advantage. He is thoroughly relaxed after brutalizing me for hours while she pretended not to hear anything from two fucking rooms away. I hate them so much. He figures after the beating he followed up with, once the house is secure, I won’t be going anywhere. Wrong.

Even if I fucking die trying, tonight is the night. I’m leaving.

He is killing me day by day and I have no fucking doubt I will die at their hands. And no one else will know. No one else will care. Except Piper but who is going to believe her over them? No. If I don’t save myself, there is no one else coming. This isn’t a fucking romance novel.

I play emotionless and vacuous to the best of my ability in the hopes they will leave me alone as they leave. She does, but not him. Of course not. I don’t hear them leave because when he hits me in the face, it knocks me out completely. Fucking bastard.

That’s the last thought I have as I pass out, and it is the first thought as I open my eyes again – fucking bastard. Panicked, I look at a window and see it is still dark outside, so I didn’t lose too much time. I don’t want to waste a single fucking minute. I have no money so I’m walking or hitching so I need all the head start I can get, and the fucker made me waste some of it unconscious. Asshole!

I grab the bag I was going to use for college two years ago and throw a few pieces of clothes in. Underwear, leggings, T-shirts – all lights things that take up little space. The water bottles take up a lot of room and weigh a fucking ton but knowing what’s ahead of me, that’s going to be the least of my problems. I fill the rest of the bag with sunscreen, bug spray and protein and carb heavy essentials. I’m about to undertake the stupidest fucking… well, hike I guess I could ever dream up. I don’t even know for sure where I’m going except that Piper’s family live at the far end of Kakwa Provincial Park. She stayed during the school year near where I live because there are no schools where she’s from, apparently. She still commuted an hour each way everyday though because her family still didn’t want to live in the city. She used to get all weird, changing the subject whenever anyone would ask her about her odd living situation. I’m the last one to get nosy so never asked her why her family is so far away but she went to school here. Doesn’t fucking matter anyways – thank God she did, or I’d never have met her!

Piper is coming home for spring break. Her home is on the other side of Jasper from where I am and the chances of me surviving this trek are pretty much slim to none. I know that. Duh – I haven’t been outside in nearly half a fucking year and I’m about to enter the goddamn Canadian wilderness. That sounds like the worst Hollywood movie ever made. Doesn’t matter – I don’t care. I would rather die out there, fighting to get the hell away, than die here piece by piece.

I sneak out the window in my bathroom to ensure none of his goons see me. Those assholes are all over the house and not only will they stop me from leaving, they’ll call him back. I can’t stop to think about the beating he’d give me… it fucking paralyzes me if I do. It’s likely he’d kill me.

As soon as I’m outside I race for the fence. I fucking vault it like my life is on the line – which it fucking is and soar right over it. When I land in the neighbour’s yard, I already feel a tiny bit safer knowing no one on his side of the fence can see over here. Doesn’t matter – I’m not fucking staying.

I run.

I run until I have to stop and puke. Realizing that’s stupid for keeping my body hydrated, I try to walk but every headlight has me diving into the woods that line the highway. Panic takes over and I start running again. I keep the highway to my left, using it as a guide and just keep going. It isn’t long before my city is behind me and the houses start spreading out further and further apart.

I have no money, and where I’m going is at least twelve hours away by car through some of the most dangerous wilderness in Canada. And I’m fucking walking. Bears, cougars and wolves are not the only fucking predators I need to worry about… the two-legged bastards are just as awful.

I fucking know.

A woman walking alone in the middle of nowhere… I may vulnerable. But if I stayed there, I am vulnerable. Every minute of every day. Something might happen out here, but something will happen back there. There is no question in my mind and weighing the pros and cons takes about half a fucking second. Live or die? There’s your fucking answer.

One foot in front of the other and I’ll get to Piper and safety. She won’t let them hurt me anymore. I’ll hide in the woods and maybe her brother will help me build a cabin or something. I’ve never met him, but she absolutely adores him – she said he is nice. I wonder if he’s cute? I’ve never been on a date. I’m fucking twenty years old and I’ve never been on a date. Like that would ever happen. I’ve always belonged to him. He would never allow anyone else to touch me so dates and boys in general were out of the fucking question.

I’ll walk tonight and as far as I can, tomorrow too. I won’t stop unless I have to, not until tomorrow night. Only then will I stop to rest. I need to put as much distance between me and them between now and tomorrow, when they get home and realize I’m gone. Campers drive by, and the odd car. It’s quiet this time of the night on the highway, but not in the trees where I’m walking. The sounds stop wherever I am but, in the distance, – noises I don’t even fucking recognize echo all around me. It’s so incredible.

One foot in front of the other.