2: Do You Love Me?

Hayfah glumly trudged out of the school premises; she took a bike and headed home, his face never leaving her mind. His rounded face with long a chiseled nose, his sparkly eyes, his purplish lips, trimmed side burns and black curly hair, kept popping in her noddle. How he smiled was really a sight to behold. She remembered how very tall and well-structured he was with broad chest, just the way she wanted her man to be.

She opened the metal door of their house and walked in wiping away her tears, not being able to know the source of her tears. She knew Umma was going to say something awful to her. Saying an incoherent salaam, she walked into the house. She almost bumped on someone, looking up; her gaze fell on her tall and faired skinned brother, who possessed a big mouth. Her facial expression suddenly turned into a grin. She loved her siblings. "Hamma Tahir, when did you come back? I guess I was in school then. How're you doing? How was work? I missed you so much,” Her husky voice uttered, as she leaned in to hug him but he was quick to push her away, sneering at her. "Don't hug me please, I know it's not haraam, but people might see us, and it will be a disgrace to me, as my voice is more thinner and melodious than yours," he said, and maneuver his way out of the house, leaving her in tears. She was hurt beyond words, she wondered if he loved her. She trudged inside their middle size house, a small space, a kitchen at the left side corner, bathroom at the right side corner, water well near the bathroom, and their small three bedrooms. One for her and Amna, the second one belonged to Tahir. Umma and Abba occupied the third one. She quickly decamped to her room, with hopes of no one seeing her. As she was about to enter her room, a voice halted her, "Hayfah, you can't even greet someone right? That your husky voice caused you humiliation, and you want to avenge on me," came her sister’s voice, upon hearing the voice; she quickly turned, a wide grin plastered on her lips. She scuttled to where they were sitting together with Umma on a rubber mat. Wrappers, cosmetics, inner wears, were sprawled on the mat. They both hugged, Hayfah letting out a hearty laugh, she missed her one and only sister.

"Addah, I missed you" she was taken aback by Amna, who pushed her back, wearing a look which reeked of disgust. "Do you want to destroy my eardrums? For heaven sake! Can't you just keep your distance? I've heard, you missed me, and I missed you too."

Hayfah couldn’t control the tears that were trying to cascade down her cheeks "Umma, whose things are these?" She asked, holding a peach and purple ankara, admiring the patterns on it.

Umma violently collected the Ankara from her and placed it back at its spot

"It's all you sister's. As you can see, she's very beautiful, with a nice thin voice, so her boyfriend gave her these gifts, she's beneficial you see," Umma said, patting Amna's hair lovingly.

Hayfah couldn’t control her tears anymore, she wondered why her family treated her the way they did, it’s a given she isn’t the only lady born with a manly voice. ‘Were the others also facing discrimination?’ she wondered.

"You think I’m not beneficial to you? Why do you do all these, you gave birth to me Umma, do you even feel an ounce of love for me?” She burst into tears, her shoulders shaking, this was just too much.

Umma chuckled outwardly, how would she tell Hayfah that she actually felt affection towards but her greed and quest for worldly pleasures was the factor casting a barrier between them.

"What difference does that make? Whether or not, I love you doesn’t change the fact that you’re useless to me so please get lost from my sight. And mind you, you must listen to any guy that comes seeking for you tonight; you might find someone that'll pity you." Hayfah ran as fast as her legs could carry her to their room and flopped on her mattress crying hysterically.

She vowed to herself not to listen to any guy just to irk Umma. Hayfah had experienced one too many encounters with men who came seeking for her. Most of them left almost immediately after hearing her speak, others taunted her while some showed their lustful desires towards her and tried enticing her with money and nice things. Despite all those, to Hayfah, there was nothing more heartbreaking than the humiliation and discrimination she faced from her family. She was broken from a tender age and that left a huge impact on her social interaction with the society, she was a loner.

With a heavy heart, she said her Zuhr and Asr prayer before eating lunch. Amna was trying to make small talks with her but Hayfah snubbed her, not because she didn’t want to talk to her sister, rather she feared being humiliated because of her voice. She knew how very good Amna had mastered the art of harassing her. In the evening, a young boy was sent into their home to call Hayfah "She's not around," she lied much to the annoyance of who was in her room listening on the conversation. She soon rushed out of her room and stopped the boy.

“Tell him she’ll be out in a bit,” she said smiling at the little boy. “Dan ubanki fito, he might take pity on you and show some interest,” she yelled at Hayfah “Rub some powder and spritz some of your sister’s designer perfume. Maza fito kar ya sha jira.”

Afraid of incurring Umma’s wrath, Hayfah did as she was told before walking out the door. For no apparent reason, she found herself hoping it was Adyan; the stranger whom she still could not decipher why his thoughts lingered in her young inexperienced heart.

Immediately she was out of the little door, their gazes met and the guy let out a grin. How so in love he was with her beauty. Her body was the first thing that had gotten him drawn to her.

‘I’ll try my luck’ he thought ‘Today might end up being my lucky day’ his eyes giving her a head to toe scrutiny. He was already envisioning his body working in perfect sync with hers. Hayfah pouted her lips, wondering why the most notorious thug in her locality wanted to see her.

"What brings you here?" She asked with a face that clearly expressed her lack of interest in him.

"I'm here because I love you Hayfah, you're the most beautiful lady I've ever seen," he said with a naughty grin.

Hayfah noticed how he kept looking at his phone, like he was waiting for something; she shrugged it off "What's your name again?" She asked, trying to just give him a chance, maybe he meant it. He after all heard her speak yet chose to stay.

His grin grew wider, “My name is Amir, Amir Usman," he answered, scrutinizing her curved body even though she was putting on a hijab.

She smiled, and they chattered away for an hour, she felt he was the guy; maybe she had mistaken him as a bad person. The way he spoke, how he smiled at her warmly, everything about him was good. He was caramel in complexion, with a short nose with a mop of black fulani hair, she instantly took a liking for him. 'He's handsome, maybe I should give him a chance' she thought.

Hayfah was sent to buy some sugar for the next day’s breakfast. She was walking, when she heard a familiar voice, amidst a group of guys, they were laughing and it seemed they were having so much but something kept gnawing at her, she thought she heard her voice. She silently tiptoed to where they were sitting and spotted Amir in the middle, holding his phone, they were listening to something. It was her voice, he had recorded her voice.

Hayfah burst into a loud wail and that caught their attention. She tried muffling her sobs but it was already too late as they had already seen her. Amir moved closer rubbing his nape nervously, he opened his mouth to apologize, but she halted him with a hand gesture. She looked at him from head to toe, with so much disgust, a glint of sadness and pain in her eyes. "I see nothing wrong with my voice, I was created like this, and I believe it's a blessing in disguise. This isn’t the first time I’m being humiliated but I never saw it coming from you and it hurt because I trusted you. So this was your true intentions, was that why you were being so nice? Get this straight; someday I’ll find true love, I’ll find someone who’ll love and appreciate me the way I am. One who won’t see the flaw in me and will love me for who I truly am, the one that'll love me for the sake of Allah, he'll love me more because of my voice!" She spat angrily and left. Amna was busy talking to her boyfriend on phone when Hayfah entered their room talking. Amna ended the call immediately and shot a glare at Hayfah "What do you think you're doing? Now he’ll think I'm with another guy, can you please stop talking while I'm on phone?" Spat an angry Amna. Hayfah was frenzied in her spot, she stiffened in bamboozlement "Addah do you love me?" She blurted, wiping away her tears. Amna glared at her, hissed and dialed her boyfriend's number.