Part 2

"Come on, Lou," William asks me to follow him as he walks out of the kitchen.

Rather than a thoughtful suggestion to ease my tension from the questionable scene before my eyes, it sounds more like an order. And whenever William uses that tone, it means he really needs it to be done immediately, and I have no other choice. However, don't mistake me for doing it out of fear of him, I do it because listening to him is the least I can do after all of the kindness he has shown me.

I stalk out of the kitchen in silence following his direction. Bringing along my shopping bags for I haven't had the chance to drop them anywhere. I can see that William's back is tense regardless of his calm state. I guess he is still mad at me, or probably more disappointed. This time, it doesn't trouble me more than the fact that Ivan is here and William didn't say a word about it either.

He stops walking as we entered a large sunroom. It has more windows than any other room in the main house, the windows are all enormous and receive large amounts of sunlight in the daytime. It's also is furnished with a very comfortable sofa set and audio system for relaxation. I don't really know much about the sunroom since I don't have one like it in my house, but I'd like to think that William uses this room sometimes to clear his mind when it gets too cloudy and messed up.

"William?" I put my shopping bags on the sofa while carefully stepping closer to where he is.

"Come here, Baby." My boyfriend stands by the largest window with his back facing me.

"William, what is Ivan doing..."

"You want to tell me why you think it's okay to cheat on me, Baby?" He asks, ignoring my attempt to question him.

"What?" I become flabbergasted by his question. Did he just accuse me of cheating? "I... I didn't cheat..."

"Yes, Lou, you did. You hung out with another guy and didn't tell me anything. You even hid it. What am I supposed to conclude other than that you're cheating?" He asks coldly while staring at the flower garden outside the window. He doesn't raise his voice, but I know that he's mad.

"But... you didn't tell me that Ivan was here either," I test his argument.

By the way he snaps his gaze away from the garden then straight to my eyes, I know that I have made a serious mistake. Sometimes, I wonder if I could be anymore stupid than I already am.

"Ivan is not important! I don't care what he is doing. I only care about you. So, don't you ever think to hide anything from me."

"I just didn't want you to get jealous, William."

"You're my boyfriend, Lou. I can be as jealous as I please."

"But I wasn't cheating, I swear."

He smirks viciously at my statement. "Can you prove it?"

"What?"

"Prove to me that you don't have any feelings for that guy you went with today."

"Wh... How? William, I'm not lying." I don't understand how I'm supposed to convince him. "You could ask him yourself, or ask Jess. We're just friends, nothing more."

"Do you actually think I would just believe it?" His question causes me to feel even more distressed. "Baby, I want proof, not words. Words are lies."

"Then what do you want me to do?" I sound like almost begging. "I really love you, William."

"Don't give me that crap after you're proven cheating, Lou."

"But I wasn't..." Now I feel like I'm being dragged into the pit of desperation. Why can't he see something that is so obvious? I love him, although he probably prefers a prettier boy, like Ivan. "You... You also can't prove yourself that you don't hold feelings for Ivan, right?"

I guess I choose the very worst moment to be stupid me. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut and think it through. Why do I keep on making my boyfriend mad? William goes silent for a while at my remark while shooting a dangerous glare at me.

"Are you saying that I was cheating?" He asks, lowering his tone.

I know this is not the right time, but no matter how furious he becomes, William still looks so handsome as ever. And somehow it makes me regret all of my actions pushing him to the edge.

"I... I don't know. I'm sorry" I really don't know what I was saying. The more I talk, the uglier it becomes. I suppose I'm not good with words.

"Fine," William finally stops questioning me, "I'll show you."

"Where are you going?" I ask in complete confusion as he walks away towards the door.

William pauses in his tracks and glances back at me. "I'll show you that I don't have any feelings for Ivan. I'll drag him here and beat him to death in front of your eyes. Then you will tell me if I really do have those feelings."

"What?!"

Are my ears deceiving me? Did I just hear my boyfriend saying that he was going to hurt someone? I don't let myself dive into a deeper thought since William resumes to his walk out of the room again.

"William, wait!" I run closer to him and catch his hand to make him stop. Holding it secure in my grip. "You can't do that, please stop."

He smirks again at me. "Oh, I can do that, Baby. Now, let me show you that I'm not a liar, just like what I always told you."

"No, please don't do that," I plead him desperately, refusing to let his hand go. I know he is being deadly serious no matter how much he sounds like bluffing. After all this time being together, I've come to learn that William is many things but a liar. "Please, I trust you, William."

"No, I know you don't, Baby. You keep questioning everything I say. And I've had enough of it."

"I was wrong, William. I'm sorry. Please I beg you, stop this." I swear if he asks me to beg on my knees right now, I would do just that. "I really trust you."

After a series of desperate begging, William goes calm. He stops his attempt to release his hand from my grip and simply observes my eyes in a dangerous silence. Probably searching for a scratch of insincerity.

"But I don't trust you," he finally speaks.

My eyes widen at his words. I can't tell whether he doesn't trust me saying that I trust him or that I wasn't cheating. I never knew that hearing such words from the one I love could be this awful. I feel like there's a heavy weight burdening my chest. I want him to trust me. Always trust me.

Just now I realize, this is probably how he felt when I doubted him about Ivan. I wish I could turn back time. All that I've said to him was really ugly. It's no wonder he becomes this angry. He must feel very disappointed. And I acted beyond stupid.

"I'm so sorry, William." I drop my gaze down, unable to look at him in the eye.

He lifts my chin up slightly with his index finger. "I need proof, Lou, not an apology."

"But..." I don't know what I should do to convince him that I don't have feelings for anyone else but him. Does he want me to do the same like he was about to do to Ivan? No. "Wait, you can't be expecting me to do anything bad to Ben, right? Because I can't do that, I'll get hurt instead."

Suddenly, William curves his lips into the gentlest smile I've ever seen. The kind of smile that reminds me again of how charming my boyfriend really is, the one that makes me fall in love with him for I don't remember how many times, and the one that never fails to draw an unforgivable blush all over my cheeks.

"I know you can't do that, Baby. But you know I can, right?" He starts talking with a husky voice, "You can show me who this beloved Ben is, then I will do whatever necessary to him in front of you, and once I'm done, we'll finally be able to tell if you have feelings for him or not."

I go silent as I feel my heartbeat thumping quicker. He is not going to let this matter go. I knew it from the beginning, this is a sensitive matter for him. So why couldn't I just be honest with William? Why did I ever keep such a thing from my boyfriend?

"I think it's a good idea," he continues, "how does that sound, Lou?"

My lips start to tremble for not being able to articulate any word to answer him. He's practically waiting for my call to do terrible things to Ben, silently forcing me to take responsibility as a punishment for my stupid mistake.

I've seen William getting involved in fights a few times. Most of the time it was to save me from the school bullies, and the fights sometimes ended up with him sending his opponent to the hospital for broken bones. I watched every fight the whole time and didn't feel awful at all. The only thing in my head was the excitement from knowing the fact that someone actually cared about me.

However, this time, it's totally different. This is my friend that William wants me to watch get beaten, and I can't do it. I can't even imagine it. Ben didn't do anything wrong. This is solely my fault and I don't want to drag him down with me.

"Lou? Answer me, Baby?" He holds my chin up to make me look directly into his silvery blue eyes.

"Don't do that, William." I'm begging again. I can feel tears are starting to pool at the corners of my eyes. For a boy, I'm too easy to shed tears, I know. But I can't help being all emotional for I'm not an alpha gay like him. "Please, don't do that."

"So, you love this Ben so much, Lou?" He asks me softly.

"No," I can no longer hold it and start to break down into tears, "no, I don't."

Seeing me crying uncontrollably, William's face turns softer. He collects me into his arms. His hug feels so warm that I could melt from it. "But you can't prove it, can you, Baby?"

I lean closer into his chest, gripping at the front of his black T-shirt for leverage. "I'm so sorry, William. I won't do it again. Please, I'm sorry." I keep chanting the word sorry in my sobbing mess. Asking for his forgiveness and begging him to just drop the matter. "I love you, please."

"Shh... Please stop crying, Baby. It's alright." I know that he always feels bad when I cry, so I try to stop myself from sobbing.

He walks me to a nearby sofa and gestures me to sit on his lap. He caresses my damp reddened cheeks like they're the softest things in the world, and he fondles my hair to send a comforting shiver down through my veins. I wonder how I could ever be so ungrateful to have William as my boyfriend by feeding him lies and suspicion. I should have never done that and I won't do it again.

"I'm really sorry, William," I beg again in a weaker tone.

"It's alright, Pretty Baby. You're with me now," he uses his other tone of voice that offers endless comfort. "Just don't ever cheat on me again, okay?"

Again, he said.

I have no other choices but to nod at that. William sees things in black and white. He doesn't live in a gray area. So, it is completely valid and reasonable for him to believe that I was cheating, simply because I can't prove myself otherwise. I guess I have to accept that.

Well, it was indeed my fault from the beginning. Not Ben's. Not Ivan's. And most certainly, not William's.

***

A/N:

If you’re curious about how Louis could end up with someone as toxic as William, please read my other book titled ‘Your Love is Killing Me’.