Chapter 8 | pas une princesse

pas une princesse

Not a princess

[DREAMING]

I am in a forest, by the looks of it. I am surrounded by trees and I can hear the sound of a stream nearby. The air smells fresh and I feel like I could finally breathe. The grass feels soothing against my feet and I feel like lying in the grass forever. The sun shined brightly, making the leaves glitter with it's light. The warmth of the sun is welcoming against my skin and I feel safe in it. As the air brushes against my body, I feel my muscles relaxing. There is not a single animal in sight, maybe they were hiding.

And then, I hear a scream. Of a woman. From the scream I can make out that the woman is in an undeniable pain. Out of concern, I start searching for the source. I have no idea what kind of evil lurks in this beautiful forest. They can harm her in ways, I didn't want to imagine. I keep on running towards the source of the scream, until I spot a cottage.

Thank god my training had strengthened her senses or else I would have been on a wild goose chase right now.

The scream is definitely coming from the cottage. I examine the cottage before entering. It is the smallest she has ever seen, but then, I live a lavish lifestyle. The cottage is made up of wood, perhaps taken from the forest as I spot logs of wood piled up next to the cottage. Flowers grow out of some of the cracks in the cottage, beautifying it. A dream catcher hangs in the entrance. The cottage seems comfortable from the outside. The door is opened luckily, so I enter it.

The scream is nearer, I know it.

"Get out! Orrin, I swear. No more kids! I can't do this again!" the woman screams.

Orrin? Was the man my father?

"Yes, darling. Now push, baby. Push for me." I hear a male voice reply.

And I recognize the voice. It was most definitely my father's. A younger and less tired version of my father's voice. What is he doing here? Doesn't he have a kingdom to rule?

I enter the room to find a woman lying on the bed, clearly in pain and my father standing next to her, holding her hand. The woman is giving birth, that's all I can make out. There is a small tub filled with water next to the woman and some towels.

And then suddenly, a boy pops out of nowhere. He must have been hiding somewhere. The boy is around four or five, I think. I am not that good with ages. He wears a blue shirt with loose pants. His hair is a mess, with twigs entangled in them. He looks just like a younger version of his father. The resemblance too much. But he isn't Alexander, so it can't be his father's son. He just can't be. The boy has black eyes, and I know he is a hybrid. Now, seriously. What the hell is my father doing here? This kid is a threat, he needs to be dealt with!

But then I hear a cry.

The baby is here.

Her father then takes the baby in towel. The baby is covered in blood and the umbilical cord still attached to her. Then her father takes a scissor and cuts the cord. The baby is still crying. My father then kisses the baby on her head. The baby looks so delicate, I don't know how my father is handling the baby. I would probably be to scared to handle the child.

He then hands her to the woman. The woman looks at the child with love. There is a smile on her face and tears come rolling down her eyes. The boy climbs next to the woman and examines the baby.

"It's a girl. She is so.... delicate." The woman says.

She then looks at my father and smiles. The baby then stops crying suddenly, and opens her eyes for the first time. My father looks at her with a shock. It is like the eyes aren't what he expected.

"Her eyes. They... they are red. She is different. How is this possible?" he says.

What is going on? Who is this woman? What's up with the baby and her eyes? And what is the hybrid child doing here? What the hell is my father doing here?

"I can feel her magic. It is strong. Stronger than Damien's." my father says but the woman is unconcerned.

"Sushh.... She is just a baby, Orrin. Let her sleep. Let me sleep. I just gave birth to our daughter." The woman says.

My father just smiles and takes the baby from the woman's arms and rests the baby next to her mother on the bed.

This is all wrong. My father is married to my mother. He will never cheat on her! They have been together forever. They are the perfect couple. He will never hurt her. He has three children- me and my brothers. That's it. We are his family.

The boy then lies next to the baby and plays with her small hands. Father smiles at both of them. He looks proud of them. What is going on?

"I will always protect you, baby. I promise I will never leave you alone. I am going to be the best brother to you, ever. You will be my little sis." He says as he looks at her.

[DREAM ENDED]

But before I can say anything, I vanish into the darkness again.

I jolt up and a pain rushes in my stomach. It is faint but still there. My body aches due to being in the same position for a long time. I look at my body and I am covered with bandages on my stomach, arms and legs. I am a freaking mummy now. There is a paste on my forehead, I can feel it. My clothes have been changed into white loose sleeveless shirt and a white short.

I look around myself and I am in a room, that is more definitely not mine. The walls are carved out of wood and there are bookshelves with hundreds of books almost everywhere. There is a desk in the farthest corner with some emptied potion bottles kept in them. I am in a comfy bed, with white sheets and it appears to be king sized. Maroon silk sheets cover me and I almost feel like I am back home. But then, all the memories rush back.

All those memories.

I am instantly on high alert and feel the magic racing in my veins. My breathe smells like shit, but I don't have time to pay attention to it. I get up, ready for an attack. The bandages and pain don't bother me anymore. Suddenly the room's door opens and I am ready to fry the person who walked in. But then one look at the person and I know I am doing nothing like that.

Junior greets me with a huge smile and walks towards me to pull me in a hug. He is crying as he hugs me and I am too shocked to respond. Last time I saw him, he was just breathing. I had almost given up the hope to see him again.

"You are awake!" he says and I pull him up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"How long was I asleep, Junior?" I ask him.

He looks at me and then thinks for sometime.

"Mommy said two weeks.", he replies.

I then put him down, his weight really tiring me down. Two weeks? I have been gone for two weeks?!

"Take me to mommy, Junior." I ask him.

He then grabs my hand and leads me to Katrina. I need to see her and make sure she and Zara are fine too. I remember now where I am. I had opened the portal to the Forbidden Forest, it is the place the rebels will least expect us to be. There is a chance they come here, but the magic forces of the forest will keep them at bay for long enough to plan our escape. I need to know what is going on.

The entire house seems to be made out of wood, and it smells amazing. Nothing hangs on the walls as such, looks like Guru is not much of a keeper. Junior then takes me to a room where I find Katrina lying on a bed, staring at the ceiling. She appears lost. Lost without Alexander, perhaps. She is constantly rubbing against her belly. She doesn't know about my brothers yet, does she? Junior goes and sits beside her to shake her back to the reality.

"Mommy, momma is awake." He says.

Junior calls me momma all the time, not matter how much I tell him that I am not his real mother. But he treats me like one. The small guy loves me a lot like I love him. He is the one I am still alive for. I couldn't let him die knowing that there is still hope for his future.

Katrina quickly snaps back to reality and rushes to pull me in a hug. I can barely breathe in her hug, but I feel fine. I need a hug too after everything that has happened. Tears come rolling down her eyes and she cries her heart out. I don't say anything, just try to comfort her. Soon Junior joins her too, seeing his mother cry surely made him cry. He cries on me while hugging my leg and try to comfort them. I now have their responsibility. I have to be strong for them. I have to live for them.

She then pulls out of the hug after what seems like half an hour or so. She is scared, it's written all over her face. Her eyes are filled with fear.

"Whe-...where is Alexander?" she finally manages to speak out between her sobs.

Alexander and Cal. I remember their crowns drenched in blood. My heart breaks when I think about them, that I could do nothing to protect them from those evil rebels. They must have been murdered ruthlessly; their bodies treated like shit. My legs weaken and I can barely manage to stand up. But I have to be strong for them.

"They...." I try to say but don't have the courage to. Katrina looks at me, waiting for my answer. I want to tell her everything is going to be okay, but I can't lie in times like these when we have to be there for each other.

"Alexander and Cal... they are dead. The rebels murdered them." I tell her and as I do, Katrina collapses and I hear a scream from behind. I turn to find Zara crying behind me while her hands are clenching her belly. Junior starts crying too.

I stand beside Zara as she cries and leans at me for support. I somewhat manage to settle them on the bed. They are crying hysterically, and I don't know what to do. I lost my brothers too, but I have been taught to be prepared always and never let your judgement be clouded by your emotions. I have to be strong.

I want to cry too. Hell, I want to tear apart the bloody rebels and give them the worst possible death. But I am alone, I am nothing without my parents and my brothers. I miss them every single second and I don't have enough courage left inside me to fight for what's rightfully ours.

Our kingdom banished us. They don't want us, after all the rebels are a part of the kingdom. They want power, and they shall have it. I don't want to fight anymore. I am too weak to fight anymore.

I take Junior with me, and try to comfort him. His father just died and he is just a kid. He won't ever be able to play with his father again, learn his lessons from him, go to horse races with him or even, watch his father take the thrown one day.

I lost my father too.

He was killed right in front of my eyes. And he died with my mother in his arms, loosing his will to fight after he lost her. Why am I alive? I look at Junior and I know I have to there with him. Katrina and Zara will never be the same after they lost their husbands. They seem to be lost and I expect nothing less. I knew this was bound to happen.

I head out of the room with Junior still clinging on to me in my arms like I am the only one he has left now. I am his momma, after all. Zara and Katrina have some defense training but their magic isn't strong enough. They couldn't defend Junior even if they try. I swear then and there that I will do anything to protect Junior. He will have a normal life, he won't spend his time in this forest. He will find love, he will grow old. I will insure that. He is the only part of Alexander I have left now.

As I head to what I think is the dining area, I spot Guru. He is staring at the sky, lost in his own thoughts. Memories of our kiss come rushing to me but I push them aside. A stupid kiss needs to be the last thing in my mind right now. I don't have time to think about that anymore.

I place Junior on the dining table, which is meant for four people I think, and look at him. He has stopped crying and looks at me. I take his hand.

"Momma, why is daddy gone? He said people loved us. Then why did they take him away?" he asks me.

I don't know how to reply him, but I think he deserves an answer.

"Some people are bad. They don't hesitate to kill. Your father was a brave man and he will be remembered. He died a hero. He loves you so much and he would be so proud of you." I tell him.

This seems to calm down him a bit but he is too scared. I don't want him to live like this all his life. I want him to have a normal life. He nearly died yesterday, I don't know what will happen to him in the future. He must have been scarred for life.

Guru then comes and stand by me and places his hand on my shoulders. He says nothing but I know he is trying to comfort me. I don't know how to react to him, anymore. His touch seems electric currents throughout my body. There is a bond between him and I but I don't know why. It's like every time I am around him, I want to jump into his arms and kiss him. But I know I can't do that. I have been hurt before and I won't give my heart to anyone now. Sebastian has made me give up on love. You never know a person no matter how much you are close to them.

I stand up to face him but don't let go of Junior's hand. I will never let go of him now.

"Thank you for helping us. It means a lot." I tell him.

He just smiles. His red eyes are full of worries and his hair is a mess. One look at him and I know he hasn't slept in days. He looks way too worried. He takes my other hand and plays with my fingers. I let him. It feels too good to be touched by him. It reassures me. I want to hug him and cry so bad, but I don't allow myself. I can't show any weakness now.

"You had lost too much blood. There was a bullet in your stomach. You were shot and still, you managed to save them. Your body was practically drained out of magic. You were barely breathing and I thought I lost you..." he says as he leans forward.

I don't know what it is between him and I. He has a spell all over me and I can't just resist him. I want him to touch me so bad.

I realize how close we are standing. I can hear him breathe and his heart pounding in his chest. I want to lean in and kiss him. His eyes look into mine and I feel myself getting lost in his mesmerizing eyes. I want to just stay with him like this forever.

But a pat on my other hand brings me back to reality. I distance myself from Guru and turn towards Junior.

"I am hungry." He says and I simply nod.

I look at Guru, who is still busy staring at me. I motion him to help me with Junior. It's his house and I have no idea about his kitchen. He snaps out of his thoughts and then motions me to follow him. Junior rushes by his side and takes his hand. I follow them.

His kitchen isn't big at all. There are shelves full up of fruits, apples being the most of them. I guess he loves his apples. There are a few drawers and a slab made up of marble with stove on it. There is a utensil kept on the stove in which I assume there is food. He takes out a plate from the stove and takes the lid of the pot. He then serves some rice on the plate and gives it to Junior. Junior then takes it and sits on the dining table.

Guru then serves me the rice and I take them with a smile. I am hungry. I haven't had food in two weeks. Wait. How did I survive without food and water for two weeks?!

"How did I survive without food and water for two weeks?" I ask Guru.

Guru glares at me as if he doesn't want to answer that question. He is hiding something from me. I snap at him, demanding an answer from him.

"Your magic. Olivia, you do realise that there is black magic in your veins? The magic didn't let you die. It protected you. Zara and Katrina couldn't even touch you because your magic would burn their skin. I had to do some spells to let the magic calm down so that we can cure you." He says.

I am shocked. What? Black magic in my veins? I suspected it but didn't believe it. It was impossible, after all.

I was the daughter of the king and queen of Rubies. They were pure blooded, there was no way I have any impurity in my blood. I am not an abomination to nature. I had red eyes like the Rubies not black!

"I don't get it. I am the daughter of pure bloods. It's not possible." I tell him.

But he shakes his shoulders. He doesn't know the answer to the question, of course. I myself don't know what is wrong with me. My father seemed to know the answer to my queries but he thought it would be better to hide it from the others. And now... he was gone.

I didn't feel hungry anymore even though I knew I should eat something. My family is gone and I am sitting here, thinking about me only. It felt wrong to me. I should be seeking revenge but I didn't have the will to do so anymore. I don't feel confident as a ruler anymore.

This war has made me question everything about myself. My people don't want me. They want the rebels so they shall have them. Who am I to protest? Not a princess, anymore. I know for a fact that the rebels will never be able to gain full control. They can completely remove the royals but they will never be accepted as the true rulers of the kingdom.

The Henrietta flower will not grant them full power. I am the next heir to the throne, I will be their queen. I am the Enchantress now, though. My mother is gone and hence her powers are passed onto me. I haven't felt them yet, and I don't want to try even. The staff of the Enchantress answers to me.

If I die, it will answer to Rita. Rita. Why the hell did she betray me? She is the piece in the puzzle I simply can't figure out. What did I ever do to her?

Also, now that Junior is alive, the throne will pass to him when he comes of age. Zara is carrying Cal's child so we have another heir. The magic will never fully accept the rebels. The throne will never be theirs as the Henrietta flowers won't grant them the powers. We are the true rulers of the Ruby.

But people don't want us, do they? Junior is too young to understand what is going on. His and mine life is in danger. They will have to kill us to get the complete power that we royals possess.

But I doubt they need that. They seemed strong enough. I am pretty sure they loathe the Diamonds, so their permission to rule is something they don't need. The Diamonds. I had completely forgot about them. If the Diamonds come to know that the hybrids have overthrown my family, they will come and destroy our kingdom with the Outsiders.

My gut tells me to go and fight. To take back what is rightfully mine. But I don't want to. My heart tells me to let it all go. To just rest now and not care about the world. To just be myself. But how can I be myself when I am stuck in a forest? I have the duty to protect Junior, Zara and Katrina now. How can I rest?

"Can you serve some for Zara and Katrina? They need to eat something too or else they will kill themselves from hunger." I ask Guru.

He simply nods and do as I say. I take the plates and then go to the room where I left them. They aren't crying right now but have blank expressions at their faces. I don't know what they are thinking, I don't want to know. I am not the right person to comfort them. I have no idea how to comfort others in times like these. I place the plates beside them.

"You should have something to eat." I ask them.

But they remain still. I look at Zara. She is two months pregnant and it is essential that she eats something for the baby. Whatever she does will affect the baby too and the last thing I want is to loose a part of Cal too. I love both of them, they are like my sisters. I want to be there for them, but I don't know what they are feeling right now. I lost my brothers too but it is not the same as losing the love of your lives.

"How can you be so fucking calm right now?" Katrina says.

I look at her and I know what she is trying to do. She is getting off all her anger on me.

Katrina sits up on the bed, her eyes all swollen up from crying. Her hair is a mess and she looks like she has gone crazy.

"If Alexander was here, he would have been planning to kill those rebels right now. He won't be standing here like you right now. If he was here nothing would have happened. This is all your fault. If you hadn't said no to Sebastian, he wouldn't have sided with the rebels,", she now gets up and stands in front of me, "This won't have been happening. Just because of your selfishness, all of us are paying. I lost my husband because of you! You are fucking weak and Alexander doesn't deserve a sister like you! You let them die!" she shouts at me.

I don't know what to say. Zara stands up and pulls her aside. She looks at me with pity and I don't know what to do. Mainly because I believe Katrina. After all, my rejection turned Sebastian into a traitor. If I hadn't been selfish, he would have been with us right now and my family would be alive. But I chose to drive him out, I did this. I am weak. Look at me, I am not even seeking revenge for my family's death.

Why?

Because I don't have any fight left in me.

"You are right. I am a failure. I am sorry." I say that and then get out of the room. I head towards the room I woke up in and lock myself inside. I feel tears rolling down my eyes and I can't contain them anymore.