Chapter 3

The days go by very fast, my son is growing the same way and I'm scared, I want him to be my baby forever. He's almost two months old!  Every day I fall more in love with my brown. My sun is going crazy with our child and my friends not to mention, my child is the most important thing in the world.

Today is an appointment with the pediatrician, my sun is not there so I have to go alone, my baby is restless and has a quite impossible temperament, being a mother is exhausting, but it is the most wonderful thing in the world. "Good morning," I greet the pediatrician with a smile.

"Good morning," she answers, smiling at me in the same way, "hello handsome," she takes him in her arms to lay him on the bed, "you're big and beautiful ... But just look at those big black eyes that you send me, I get lost  in them every time I look at them." My son smiles like a rascal, he peels the teeth of all the women who look at him and talk, he is very active for his age.

"He's getting fat very fast. And his temper doesn't help," I smile, in love with my baby.

"You have to be patient with him, he's small and he says everything with tears or tantrums and there are things that can overcome him and react that way," when she undress the baby, his penis rises. "Either you are going to spray me or you are showing me your  package?" The smile that my brown shows in response makes me think that it is the second, but to avoid the first, I put a diaper on him and keep it for a while, so he doesn't make a mess.

"I think it was the second," I joke with the doctor when I see that my son is not going to pee.

"Well, he has something good to show, isn't it precious?" My son looks at her with full attention, he's a born flirt. Dr. Petrozzino has cared for my son since he was born, she has become fond of him to the point that the two of them get along wonderfully. The pediatrician, as always, checks him completely and my child is happy until they finish, "everything is perfect as always. Is Pa on a trip?" She asks when she gives me my son.

"Yes, he had to travel this time," hearing my child moan makes me rock him because I don't want him to cry. "I don't know why I mentioned pa," my sun when he hears his pa, he gets like a fool, he does not fit under the skin of emotion.

"Don't worry precious, I will see you in a month. You are about to turn two months," her expression changed incredulously at the time that has flown by.

"We'll see you in a month." Fixing my son and taking his bag, I give one last look at the doctor who accompanies us to the door.

When I get home, Brenda the housekeeper is preparing lunch, not wanting to do anything and just resting for the exhibition, I go to my room, my baby has fallen asleep so I have nothing else to do. When I get up to go to the bathroom, my mobile rings, when I see the screen, I find it was my friend calling. We have not talked in months.

I do not even want to think about what it was that made me decided not to tell her about my sun, my pregnancy and the recent birth of my son, the pain has taken too far and I know, but there was nothing I could do.

"Manaaaa," I hear her as always, screaming with her voice full of happiness, leaving the room to avoid hearing the baby if he cries, I look at my son from the door.

"Maniiii," I yelled back, "you're sorry, but did you remember that I exist?" I hear my friend laugh incredulously.

"But are you crazy? The thing here is, if I don't call, you don't deign to do it."

I sigh, "you know I'm very busy, I don't have time for anything," I bite my nail. "Everything okay at home? Are they all okay?" I ask with some caution, although I forgave my mother and Kahin, it gives me some fear to always know how they are, my mother may well be having the best time and perhaps Kahin has already forgotten me.

"Okay I understand you, but you can take a fucking minute and at least tell me, die bitch!" I laugh when I hear that, "we are all fine, my aunt Camilla gets used to being without you every day, although now you can say that I have two mothers," she laughs "I have always had her, but now it turns out that I have an overprotective mom. Very well I would say," her voice denotes mischief, "my zazo as always, jealous and fighting for everything and nothing, I swear to you that if he did not love me the way I love him, I will leave him because of his jealousy."

I smile when I hear that, the fool if that happens, "Malcolm is tall, dark, well and he belongs to mom."

When I hear that, I gasped open-mouthed, "fuck me!" I can't believe it, "aunt Lourdes with Malcolm?" I ask in surprise.

"Honestly Flaca, I had no idea they are together, when I found out, I fell hard on my ass, I literally did," she laughs, I'm still in astonishment, I can't think of anything, "but as Kahin was telling you he..."

"No," I cut her off, feeling a pain in my chest., "I don't want to know about him." I hear my friend sigh behind the line.

"Skinny, you must forgive him too, it is known that your mother is your mother, but Aunt Camilla was the biggest culprit of all."

Letting out a tear, I bite my lip, "I forgave him Carla, you know it," I stifle a sob, "but now I don't know how I feel, talking about him and ..."

"Is there someone else?" She asks in almost a shout, "have you dared to replace him that fast?" Her words hurt me, but in a way I saw refuge in my sun, "answer!" She demands.

"Yes," I shout, closing the door so as not to wake my son, "if there is another person who supports me, takes care of me, does not deceive me and does everything possible to see me happy..."

"Kahin did all that too," she yells back at me, "he loves you, he also suffered for you," she paused for a while, "you know what? I am glad that you are well, I love that now you smile and have found support, I am very happy for you and very much, but the day you decide to return, I hope it does not hurt to see what you have lost," with a heavy heart, I hear how my friend hangs up the call, slumping on the floor, I start to cry, why does everything have to fall on me? Why does everyone think that I did it wrong and do not stop to ask why my reaction?

"Not again," I hear Fatima growl, my friend sits next to me and hugs me, "you have remembered him again, right?" That question is not supposed to be asked because I have never forgotten.

"Why is nothing easy? Why couldn't I just do what you asked me to do?" I look at my friend for an answer.

"I don't know darling, I don't know," softening her face, I rest my head on her shoulder.

"I swear to you that if you hadn't come into my life, I'd already be lost," I sob. My friend lets me cry until my baby woke up, I put my sadness aside and I pick up my courage, my son needs me.

"He is going to suck you dry," my friend mutters, horrified by the force and speed my son eats.

"He likes mom's milk," I smile, "he's very desperate, if his mouth gets too full and he doesn't swallow everything, he gets angry." I caress his cheek, "he's so moody, so he ..." I sighed smiling.

"You're gawking at that baby, but who isn't? Our baby has come to give joy to our lives," she squeezes his cheeks and my son who has no stamina begins to bellow and with it, he starts to cry, "but what a temper, I won't touch you anymore."

Laughing, I try to get my brown to grab the chest again, "you know he doesn't like to be disturbed when he's eating. Did you forget how he got on with Roderick?"

My friend laughs, "shit, I thought that day this little guy would get the hell out of it, he was really brave."

Laughing amusedly, I look at my son who has those black eyes fixed on me, his look is unique and only one compares to him, "my sun won't be able to be on display this time so I won't be able to carry the baby." I look at my friend. "I'll have to leave him at home with Brenda."

She frowns, "you should stay at home, it is true that this is an important note for us, but the teacher has told you to just make a painting and take it to him."

I give a negative with my head, "I want to go, it will only be a few hours and I already got milk for the baby, I must go, I have missed classes for almost two months since I gave birth, so don't say anything more," my friend signed in defeat before she nods.

The hours with my friend and my baby that she now keeps awake a little longer are of the best quality, I love spending time with my son, I love having him close and always looking into his eyes.

***

"Girls," Steve yells, "come on, everything is ready," he urges us.

"Brenda please take care of my child, do not separate from him for a second, whatever happens with my son, do not hesitate to call me, he is my life and ..."

"Quiet," she interrupts me with her sweet voice, "you know that I will always take good care of him, you don't have to worry, I will send you photos and videos every 20 minutes."

Trying to put my nerves aside, I smile, "that would make me very happy, thank you very much for everything Brenda," the woman who may be 50 years old smiles at me, I kiss my son again and leave to meet my friends, when I get into the car I look in the direction of the house.

"Quiet," Mica hugs me, "he'll be fine, it would also do you good to go out," she smiles.

"At last she thinks good things," Fatima mocks, "I don't know what happened to you, but keep it up."

Mica, as always, growls in anger, "it's just because she is a mother, she shouldn't be at home all the time," she answers somehow annoyingly, "it's not that she's going to be in the clubs and out there like crazy, but if she can take a break, she should also pamper herself from time to time, Francesco always tells her.”

Fatima narrows her eyes, "you're right, since you've given Luz, you don't even go out to Don Genaro's restaurant."

I shrug, "I have better things to do, I like to be at home with my son and my sun whenever I can, and also with you. But at home, I don't feel like going out, but I promise that once I feel like it, you will be the first to know." I smile cheerfully at them.

"Aaiiss Olethea, we've lost you," Roderick sighs, laughing at the sentiment he used to say that.

When we arrived at the Reina Sofía museum, we went with the group, each with paintings in hands, we positioned ourselves where they indicated us.

"Ok students, welcome,"  Professor Pausini greets us, "it is the moment to demonstrate what you are capable of, the paintings have already been evaluated, now you must defend yourselves with the public and sell your art," applauding, he indicates that everything begins. Being surrounded by such famous painters is awesome.

"Easy, everything will be fine," Mica reassures me. When looking at that portrait that will be the one for exhibition and not for sale, I close my eyes for a moment, why should I think about him? Why should I bring that damn drawing wherever I go? I shake off all those questions that only hurt me more, stopping myself from looking at the drawing of that dark-haired man who once had my soul, I focused on my friend.

"Yes, it's just that that painting brings me good luck," I smile, "maybe it's because of the tool that was used."

My friend blushes, "I still can't believe that a man like him exists.After that day, did you talk to him again?"

I shrug, although my friends know everything about Kahin, they don't know him and they don't know that he is the  one that was immortalized in that painting. And also in my most precious memories.

"No, I never saw him again," I turn my back to accommodate my work, something is really wrong, the sensation of my chest does not let me breathe, the tremors of my body are trying to tell me something, but I can't understand it. Scared, I take out my cell phone from my jeans and dialed a number, in two rings she answers, "Brenda, please excuse my intensity, but the truth is, something worries me. Is my brown okay?" I can feel her smile.

"So good you're worried but he's perfect miss, don't worry, I'll send you a video."

I sigh still with that feeling, "okay Brenda, give my son a kiss for me," I hear the kiss she gives him and that makes me smile. Immediately after hanging up, I call my sun but he does not respond, I try as many times as I can and it is the same result. I give up when the video of my baby who is moving arrives, I'm filled with love every time I see him.

"You should calm down," I hear Steve from behind me, when I turn I look at him confused, "Olethea, I can see in your face how bad you are, the child is fine, stay calm, remember that in this you have to show security and transmit it."

Swallowing what I feel, I try to smile but I really don't know what the feeling is, "I'm sorry, it's just that I have a horrible feeling and my stomach is starting to pay for it." I try to breathe to calm myself.

"Everything is fine," he takes my cheeks between his hands "everything is fine" he repeats to convince me that it is so, giving him a smile I reassure him.

"Okay ... It's true my son is well cared for, I know my sun is fine, otherwise I would already know it and I have no reason to feel like that, it must be my nerves from being surrounded by great artists."  My voice is more animated, the opposite of what I feel. Steve kisses me on the forehead and goes to his place.

"Isn't he a love?" I hear Mica say, I look at her and she's following him with her eyes.

"Yes, the truth is, I wonder how he is still single," I look at my friend smiling at the woman who has traveled to the beyond, "he has everything, he's perfect and look at him, he's alone," I shrug, "maybe he's the one who isn't interested in having a partner." Leaving the conversation aside, we get down to work, smiles, explanations, giving details of our work and saying what it was based on or inspired by, we enjoy what we do.

The hours pass and the sensation worries me every second more, my stomach is getting more and more upset, I still cannot contact my sun and that makes me sick, it is horrible to feel like I'm feeling.  I was able to sell my painting which leads me to have a perfect grade, a little more and I would have sell Kahin's drawing, but I did not have the courage to do so.

"Nice painting," upon hearing that voice, a chill runs down my spine, my breathing disappears, my heartbeat becomes frantic and a horrible confusion is created in me, "I didn't think you still had that drawing, gulping, I slowly get myself  to turn, it cannot be possible, there are no coincidences as great as these, "you have changed," when I turn totally and we are face to face my face of astonishment is priceless, "will you leave me talking alone?"