CHAPTER TWO

"Noooooooooo...!!! God!!! Don't let this happen to me..." I cry out loud, I'm holding my mum's body real tight now. Both Nanny and doctor Antonio are trying to hold and console me. I don't need them to console me, my mum is still alive... She is still alive right? She has to be...

I feel a hand grab me sharply from the bed and turn me over to her chest to hug me. Aunt Kira? When did she get here? I could hear her sobbing and sniffling. We are both crying.

"Ja..ne..." I hear a croaked voice. Hold on, is that my dad's voice? why is he here? I got up from the bed, with this rush of anger and sadness. my emotions are heightened right now. I turned to face him, his eyes are red. He looks sad, he looks like he's crying. Oh... Spare me the bullshit! He is probably faking it, so it doesn't look like he's happy about her death, but I can see right through his fake Facade. He has always wanted to get rid of her, so why would he be sad about it now? He comes close to touch me and I brush his hands off. Is this man trying to touch me right now?

"Are you crying? Even at the point of her death, you're still trying to put up an act?" I let out a sad laugh. "don't you think you should quit all of these shit, this is what you've always wanted. You wanted to get rid of her before now, and here, you have gotten what you've always wanted in a platter of gold" I cry, pointing at the lifeless body of my mum. He tried touching me again and I moved back involuntarily.

"Don't fucking touch me man! Don't you dare. It's not like you are sad about her death, so what's with the fake tears? Huh?" I scorn with tears in my eyes. it's not like I was expecting an answer, in fact I don't want him to reply, cause I'm not done yet. I'm just getting started.

"Shedding crocodile tears, won't change the fact that you caused her sickness. you..."

"Jane, please don't say that. You and I both know your mother's illness started with chronic pain and I didn't... we...we all didn't notice, till it's got worse. I know you think it's my fault, but come on... she just hid the sickness so well, that made it so hard for us to notice..." He interrupts me.

Is this man being serious right now? is he for real? He's being such a dick, not that I'm surprise. I'm totally used to him making every situation about himself, it's not some thing new, he is just so self-centred. He doesn't care about anyone else but himself. I wanted to give him the benefit of doubt just this once, but he just proved to me that I'm making a hell of a mistake. He's never gonna change. Even as she's dead, he still blames her, he always does and honestly that always piss me off. I was kind of expecting him to respect her just this once, if he doesn't respect her as his wife or as a woman, he should at least respect her now she's late. He should fucking respect the dead! But it's pretty obvious he doesn't give a damn.

"So you're saying it's her fault?" I started, trailing him off. I had to interrupt him. There is no way on earth I was going to let him. I can't let him put these on her, I can't let him put blames on my poor dead mum. There's no way I'd give him the chance to make this about him, not this time, definitely not this time!

"It's her fault she had chronic pain? It's her fault you didn't notice? All these started out with signs of depression. It took you more than a year to notice she was ill. Why? Because, you're never around. you didn't care about her well-being. You didn't care about what she did, what she liked or what she hated. You didn't care about her daily activities or how she lived her life. You didn't care about her at all and you made it a point to make it obvious to not just her, but also to everyone around her." I am crying really hard now and choking on my words. Aunt Kira walks up to hold me, telling me to calm down.

"Jane calm down, you have to. You are not in a good state of mind right now." she says, rubbing my back soothingly.

" He doesn't worth your tears. There is no point trying to make him understand, cause I don't think he will ever understand. I feel he doesn't want to understand, so just let it be, honey." She says, giving my dad a scornful glare. Aunt Kira doesn't like my dad at all. The hate actually started, when dad started mistreating mum. She had begged mum to come live with her, cause my mum was being emotionally abused by dad in this house. Mum always declined her offer, hoping that this heartless man right in front of me, would change towards her one day. She failed to realise that, the Devil doesn't bargain! That's who they are, they are never going to change. She was wrong, you see, he hasn't changed one bit and now she's dead because of him.

"Of course, he doesn't worth my tears. I'm not crying because of him. I'm crying because of my mum, she's dead. She's my everything and she's gone. That's cause of him and he isn't even bothered. my pain here is, I let it happen" I referred to aunt Kira, with tears rolling down my face. my sight is blur now, I can barely see anything. My head is throbbing hard and my chest is aching so much.

God!!! What's this pain?! I think I'm going to pass out any moment from now, cause this pain is just so unbearable for me to handle. I clutch my chest crying real hard, while aunt Kira hold me tight.

"I guess you're happy now, you don't have to go through the stress of the divorce any more." I release myself from aunt Kira's grasp and move closer to my dad.

"She's dead now, she's not in your way anymore. You can actually go ahead and marry whoever you want to marry." I whimper. This is what he wants right? He has always wanted a divorce, but mum had refused to sign the divorce papers. She was so scared of losing me, she knew dad would want me to be under his care, and she knew she won't be able to win against him in that case, because he has got the money, influence and connection. so she decided to endure the ill treatment dad throws at her, every now and then.

She stood her ground and refuse to sign the divorce papers, even after dad had promised to give her half of his property. That's how eager he was to get rid of her. Her refusal frustrated him very much, to the point he threatened mum, that he will get married to his mistress and bring her home, not minding her or anyone's opinion or feeling about it. Well, he didn't even hide the fact he's seeing someone. No matter how my mum tried to hide the fact, all of this affected her badly, I could still notice how it affected her. All this led to her depression and now, her death. I can never forgive this man for taking away the only person that matters to me.

"So... When is the wedding, Mr Davidson? When is your mistress moving in?" I asked sarcastically, with a sad laugh.

"Can I ask you a question dad? Dad...? Of course not. you're not my dad anymore, you've lost that right. Can I go ahead with my question, Peter Davidson?" I smirk, looking him straight in his eyes. he looks pretty shocked and awed by what I just said, I just called him by his name. well, right now I don't give two fucks!

"come on Jane, don't talk to your dad in that manner, he still your father." Nanny groans, as she walk up to pat me softly on my back. I didn't even realise nanny and doctor Antonio are still in the room. I respect Nanny and listen to her a lot, cause she's like a big mum to me, but this time around I'm definitely not going to listen to her. All I want right now, is for dad to feel really hurt or even worse than I'm feeling right now. He deserves to be hurt, he definitely deserves it!

"So here is my question, why did you marry mum if you know you didn't love her?" I ask ignoring Nanny and facing my dad with a scorn. I wasn't expecting any answer from him though, so I just forge ahead, making sure I maintain eye contact with him.

"Oh, I know... According to your shitty story, you loved her, but you fell out of love and it happens right? It was teenage love, and we all know teens' love doesn't last, because it's more of an infatuation than love. Now you're just tired. you were tired of her, you were tired of everything about her. You needed a new catch, you needed something new. Do you remember these words you said in the balcony when you were talking with Mr Gerald, who was at least concerned about your attitude towards mum." I whimper with tears.

"Oh Jane... I... didn't mean that... I didn't kn...ow you heard that... I'm so sorry." He stammers with tears running down his eyes. Pretender! I couldn't care less.

"Oh Mr Davidson, is that a twitch I see on your face? Oh cut the crap! Quit the act dude, I can see right through you. You know, you're good though. You should probably audition for a movie role in the movie industry, I'm sure you will get it." I deride sarcastically, while he just keeps staring at me with 'fake'! Sad look.

"You know, I'm not done yet that wasn't all you said, so I will just continue. You just kept saying, the only reason you still let her stay in your house is, because of me. You plan on sending her out, once you send me to Seattle. You then go ahead to marry your bitch of a mistress." I yell angrily, pointing my fingers at him.

"The woman lying lifelessly over there, did everything! every God damn thing to please you, she did everything to make you happy. She even went as far as getting married to you against her parents' wish, thinking she made the right decision. Thinking you will always have her back, but you failed her completely, you mistreated her. Why? Tell me why?" I yell really loud this time, yanking off Dr Antonio's hands off me. I know I'm being rude and disrespectful to Doc, but I really don't care right now. All I want to do is, vent out everything on my mind to the hearing of my insensitive father, and I don't need anyone to hold me back. I'm definitely not going to allow anyone stop me from airing out my opinion.

"What did Mom ever do to you? Why the unfair treatment? You said you fell out of love, why? What made you stop loving her? She didn't change one bit. she loved you till the very end, but you, you just destroyed her life. Her parents died without forgiving her, her parents' family want nothing to do with her. She was rejected by her own family, just to be with you, and you decided to pay her back with another form of rejection and ill-treatment. How could you be so cruel?" I groan, while he just keeps staring at me with a sad look. Fucking fake!

"You said you loved her before, right? You should have at least use the love you had for her before and be there for her when she was critically ill, but your heart is way too dark for you to care. you didn't care about her, you also don't care about me. All you care about is to make more money, and your bitchy mistress." I yell to his face, with anger running through my veins.

"No, Jane don't say that. I really do care about you a lot, you're my daughter and I love you more than anyone or anything in this world." He shrieks with anguish.

"That's bullshit! You expect me to believe this shit you just said? there's no fucking way you care about me, because if you do, you would have been there for mum and I, when we needed you the most. You would have considered our feelings before indulging in an extra marital affair, but of course not. You were too busy having an affair out there with your mistress, because you fell out of love." I sob, remembering when I found out he was having an affair with his mistress. I was so hurt that day. I was confused on whether I should let mum know or not. I kept it for weeks because I don't want to hurt mum or break my family, but I told mum later on, because the guilt was killing me. I couldn't bear keeping that deep secret away from her. I feel she deserved to know, so I went ahead to tell her, only to find out that she knew about it ever since. She told me dad had been having this affair even before I was born. he has a child with his mistress, the child should be few months older than I am.

The news didn't go down well with me. I confronted dad that night, and he confirmed it was true. I was heartbroken and devastated. I cried throughout the night, that was the worst day of my life. well, today is actually topping it. Ever since then, I have been really angry with dad and I just couldn't bring myself to forgive him. The worst part, he still continued with the extra marital affair, and that got mum even more depressed. He didn't care! He even went as far as, asking for a divorce and kept processing the divorce,even after knowing that mum's illness has gotten to the worst stage of depression, which is clinical depression. He didn't give a damn about her, he was just too focused on his other woman. I hate them! I hate them all!!!

I see aunt Kira and Nanny consoling me on the floor. I didn't realise I'm crying hard on the floor right now, I'm clutching my chest real tight now. Oh my God! now I'm having a serious breakdown. Doctor Antonio is still in the room staring at me with pity and sympathy. Dad is crying now, I really did hurt him with what I said to him. I know he meant what he said about loving and caring about me, but I'm way too angry to feel his love and I can't be so sure. The man in question, actually have another child out there, so definitely I'm not the most important person in his life.

Some people dressed in corporate black clothes, walk into the room with a stretcher, and walk towards my dead mum, lifting her body off the bed. Oh my God! These are mortuary attendant. I got up from the floor and charged towards them, pushing them away from my mum. I'm crying and yelling real hard this time. Aunt Kira, Nanny, doctor Antonio and dad are trying their best to hold me, in an attempt to stop me from attacking the attendants. Oh God! Is this real? They are seriously taking my mum away from me, I can't let them.

"Let me go! Leave me alone please, they are taking her away. No, no, no, no, please let me go. They are taking her away from me." I try running towards the attendants, who are taking my mum's body out of the room, but aunt Kira and Dr Antonio drag me back, holding me really tight, and stopping me from following suit.

"Please don't let them take her. Aunt Kira do something! Nanny come on, stop them. She is not dead. Doctor Antonio she is not dead right? I'm sure you can do something, anything at all to bring her back! Doc please!!! Help me bring her back." I wail, as aunt Kira hugs me tight. She's crying too, they are all crying now.

"Aunt Kira, I don't think I can survive it. I can't live without her, she's my world, she's my life, she is my everything!" I cry even more.

"Jane stop it please, stop saying something like that. you're going to survive it, I know you will. You have to be strong, I know your mum wants you to be strong and happy. It's going to be alright, you will get through it sweetie." she sobs softly, I could feel her tears dropping on my neck. I don't think she understands, I can never be happy again, even if I survive all of this. I don't say a word, I just keep crying.

After sometime, everywhere is quiet now and everyone is sitting, crying and whimpering quietly. Aunt Kira and Nanny are beside me, still consoling me. I think it's quite late now.

"Jane... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry, you have to go through all of this. I promise I'll do anything, anything at all to make it right." I hear my dad say, as he sniffle. I got up from the bed, and slowly walk towards him.

" You're sorry?" I deride. He doesn't respond, I wasn't expecting him to anyways, so I'm just going to ride on. "you are sorry? That's funny! You said you will do anything right? Okay here you go, bring mum back. Then we can start off from there" I huff with annoyance.

"Jane, you know if I could bring her back, I would." He says with teary eyes.

"That's the point you can't! You can't bring her back. you can't actually do anything for me, or wait... maybe you can do something to make things right." I smug with disdain. His expression lighten up a bit.

"What's that?" he asks with confused expression.

"Are you going to do anything I ask of you now?" I ask, hoping he does even though I know he won't.

"Yes! I'll do anything, anything at all, so you can forgive me. I want to do right by you honey" he says with all seriousness.

" End whatever you have with your mistress, then maybe, just maybe I can let all what you've done to us slide, and then we will get along just the way we used to be before all of these." I say, staring at him. He isn't responding, he kept his face low, his red eye staring at the ground.

"Answer me... Dad...!" I say softly. He looks at me with shock and mixed expression. I haven't called him 'Dad' for years now, I addressed him as Mr Davidson or Sir. He was Shocked and happy, when he heard me call him dad, but his expression change quickly to a sad one.

"Honey... I'm so... sorry... I can't... I really can't." He stammers. A tear run down my face. I'm totally hurt and disappointed even though I was expecting it, but it still hurt as hell. My dad just chose his mistress over me. Over his own child he claims to love!

"that's what I thought." I let out a sad laugh. He tries reaching out for my hand, but I shove it off.

"Jane, you have to understand. I can't end it, I need her for my business. If I end the relationship, her family is going to end their partnership with my company, and...and... I can't lose that big of a deal." He heaves, after talking nervously.

"As usual, it's always business. Well, Mr Davidson, you've made your decision. So I'm gonna make my decision now. I'm cutting off ties with you, I'm leaving your house. I don't want to have anything to do with you, your business, your company or anything concerning you. As of today, you are dead to me." I sneer with disdain as I hear every one in the room gasp. I guess they are all shock, but dad looks extremely shock. I know it's a hard decision, because I work in his company. Apart from the company's pay, I use his credit card to get whatever I want. He gave me one of his credit card, since when I was fifteen. I guess I'm used to getting whatever I want. I doubt I have enough money in my account cause I'm used to spending a lot and not saving. Now, I have to give his credit card back to him, to prove I can survive without him. Can I? Of course! I'm going to survive without him. I will go leave with aunt Kira, use my qualification to get a job and fend for myself. Definitely, I Will survive!

"Jane... Jane, come on. You can't do that, please don't go. we can fix this. let's arrange for your mum's funeral together. You can't just cut me off like that. I'm your father and I love you very much, please don't do this." He cries. He's crying this time, I don't care, I've made up my mind. I can't be in this house, and watch him bring in his mistress and his other child, I can't live with them. Since he chose them over me, then I have to go. I walk straight to aunt Kira.

"Aunt Kira, can I stay with you, till I'm stable enough to afford an apartment?" I plead. She doesn't say anything, she just keep staring at my dad, who is pleading with his eyes, for her to reject my request.

"Aunt Kira, even if you don't let me stay at your house, I'd still leave this house. It's either you let me stay with you, or I walk aimlessly around the streets. Would you rather I do that? I ask with all seriousness.

"Fine! You can come stay with me. You're always welcome to stay with me. My house is your house too." She smiles sadly, patting my shoulder softly.

"Jane... you can't go... Please." Nanny cries.

"Nanny, please I need to do this. I need you to support me. You can always come visit, and we can eat out too. We will always be in touch. Please just let me go." I cry, hugging her tight. She nods her head in affirmation, crying too.

I release myself from Nanny's hug, rush to my room to get my stuff, ignoring dad's pleas... I parked most of my stuff into the car mum got me. It's not as luxurious as the one dad bought for me, but it's more appropriate I take mum's gift. We are all outside now, everything is all set. I'm ready to leave this God forsaken house! I hug both Nanny and doctor Antonio bidding good bye... Aunt Kira and I got into the car, and we drove outta the house.