Chapter 3: Beneath the Weight

Ariana's Pov

"Are you okay, Ariana?" Lyra asked me. Even though breakfast sounds good, I just can't get hungry. After rearranging my food on my plate, I look up at her.

Yes, I just had a horrible night's sleep.

You should eat. she says with concern. I should eat to keep my strength because I don't know what I'll be required to do or suffer. For me, each day at Twilight is completely unpredictable. Since being stripped of everything and determined to be responsible for the deaths of the Alpha and Luna, the pack has refused to recognize that I was not sentenced to death. And they don't hesitate to convey their actual emotions to me. Ashford is the same.

To be honest, I ask myself this question every day. Why didn't Ashford accuse me of their murders and summon me to the High Reign Council? Then he wouldn't have to deal with my presence anymore. But I can't just approach him and ask him a question. I've been told not to look him in the eyes.

It's riskier for me because you rarely look an Alpha in the eyes until they want you to. Ashford doesn't hesitate to put me in my place because I'm considered dirt. He's berated me before for simply gazing in his direction. Choosing my battles is the one thing I've learned during the last six years. For the first few years, I protested Ashford's treatment and punishment of me, but after being battered repeatedly and finding no one to back me up except Lyra and Derik, I retreated. I have mastered the art of acting. Although I'm not a weak girl by any means, things will go wrong for me if I show any signs of not following what I'm told.

All I can hope for is that one day I'll be able to overcome this and live the life I deserve.

Despite not really tasting the food, I groan and force it into my mouth, hoping that it will at least get me through the morning. I look at Derik while sipping my water. What are you all doing today? I enjoy hearing about their days and plans because it helps me cope with my own situation. I'm delighted there are only three of us living in this small house on the pack grounds. One advantage of being the pack outcast is that I have somewhere to hide because no one wants to live with or be seen with me. Despite their decision to join me, Derik and Lyra aren't as popular with the pack as I am, but they don't mind. They truly represent what it means to be friends. They stand up for themselves and don't hesitate to put others in their place when necessary.

I'm delighted to work with the pack healers today to gather herbs for self-care and necessary remedies. Lyra responds while pouring herself another glass of orange juice and sipping on it.

Derik's throat is clear. Today, I have some new puppies to train. I do not anticipate it. I laugh a little. Derik despises the entitled demeanor of recently turned wolves and dislikes training new pups. I used to be one of them, so I should understand.

Do you know what you are up to today? Derik's question makes me tense. To be honest, I'm unsure. Ashford mentioned getting the new visitor building ready, so I'll have plenty of stuff to do today.

The table is silent for a moment, and I know they're trying to think of anything to say to make my duty appear less tough, but they know there's nothing they can say to make it easier. Ashford is continually overworking me, even though he knows I lack the strength and wolf stamina I would have if I weren't wearing these nasty silver cuffs.

It is all right. I will get by. I am limited in what I can do. I'm simply hoping he gives me a list and leaves.

Give us a call if you need help. "I nod," Derik says. Always

I return to my breakfast with a knot in my stomach from worry about the torture I may face today.

I grabbed my phone and water bottle and departed after cleaning up after breakfast and bidding Derik and Lyra farewell.

I can feel the sun warming my skin as soon as I go outside my house. I regret not being able to spend the full day outdoors. I wished I could. This is my current reality, even though I wish I had a different one.

I begin to walk after placing my phone in the rear pocket of my grey, acid-washed jeans and dropping my blank tank top.

Looking straight ahead, I can see the Alpha mansion in the distance to the far right. Even though Lyra, Derik, and I each have our own home, Ashford assigned you the one that is the farthest away from any of the other structures on the pack grounds. merely make it more difficult for me to go to my destination. My life as I knew it ended just beyond the gate of the pack land, which is also close to our modest house. Every time I leave our home, my eyes stray and I have to push myself to stop.

Knowing that my red waves would most certainly interfere with whatever I was doing that day, I pulled them up into a tight ponytail. With a deep sigh, I begin my journey to the Alpha residence, where Ashford awaits me. As I approach the training grounds, which are located in the heart of our pack area, my sneakers crunch against the gravel. When I watch all of Twinlight's warriors practicing on the field, I feel a familiar pang of pain.

I should be there. My place is there. Alpha did not provide a doormat.

I give a tiny head shake and focus on my goal. I couldn't quit thinking about what should be. I keep going, and I hear my name as I pass through the massive garden that divides the Alpha mansion from the packhouse. I immediately lower my gaze as I turn to face the sound. Alarik, Ashford's beta, approached me.

At Twilight, Alarik Valeska is the second-in-command. He killed the previous Beta for his work and is Ashford's closest friend. You wouldn't know he was ruthless just by looking at him. Alarik's boyish face, sculpted physique, and stunning brown eyes, along with his silky blonde hair, had me thinking he was handsome before I was warned not to look up. He was undeniably beautiful.

How about right now? I can't keep him around; he's just another jerk.

You are there. Alpha is waiting for you in the new building. Come on.

Indeed, Beta. I respond robotically, and as Alarik approaches, I notice his shoes. He gets a tight hold of my chin and elevates it. I avoid looking at him since I am still not allowed to.

Are you not going to cause trouble today? He asks me questions while aggressively clutching my chin, causing me to feel hurt where his fingers are.

No, beta.

Excellent. He releases go of me, turns, and starts moving.

I follow behind Alarik, mentally hating him, and stroke my chin to relieve the agony on my face.

Just take a breath.