Chapter 7

This world was so messed up. One day, only a small portion spent with the band, and Shiori had to admit she was in way over her head. The information coming at her, from how to deal with the opening bands, to after parties and groupies and what was okay to do in the bus bathroom made her head hurt. The roadies were like family, but she shouldn’t be alone with them. The guys in the band would respect her, but she had to watch what she said.

Shiori loved Danica. And Jesse was great. Being around Alder was still a little weird, but she liked him. He looked tired all the time, didn’t talk much, but he was polite and treated both Jesse and Danica like they were his everything.

But after a couple hours with the three of them, she needed a break. She felt like a third—fourth?—wheel, and she couldn’t add anything to Danica’s sporadic rants about Sophie taking over her life, or how out of line Reese apparently was.

The band had decided to leave tomorrow, so Danica was staying at the hotel for another night. She’d convinced Alder and Jesse to join her. And, of course, Shiori should as well.

No ‘of course’ about it. Shiori cleared her throat.

“Please don’t be mad, but I need to stay on the bus.” Shiori looked down at her half-eaten plate of grilled chicken and vegetables. Danica had found them a quiet little restaurant in downtown Detroit. Had been really nice when Shiori asked what would be okay to eat.

Now that she was a contracted model, Shiori figured she should be more careful with her diet. She had no idea how she’d manage that on the road, but Danica promised to teach her.

Awesome. Danica would be with her for the beginning of the tour. Maybe longer.

But Shiori needed to figure out how to manage on her own. Just in case Danica did decide to take the opportunities Sophie had set up for her. She also sensed that the trio needed some time alone.

Danica frowned and set her fork on the plate she’d barely touched. “I’m not mad, but… Sweetie, today was rough. Why not give yourself more time?”

“If I stay tonight and it’s horrible, I can still go back to the hotel. Or decide this lifestyle isn’t for me and go home.” Shiori took a deep breath. “Tomorrow we’ll be on the road. I need to see if I can do this while I still have a way out.”

“You’ll always have a way out.” Jesse cut a piece of steak, eyeing Alder and Danica’s full plates and shaking his head. “But I get it. Time to take off the training wheels.”

“Exactly.” Damn, she was happy Jesse was here. He had a way of keeping things simple. And when he worded things just right, neither Danica or Alder tended to argue with him.

But this time, Alder decided to speak up. “You punched Brave. Are you sure you’re ready to face him alone?”

Can’t we forget I did that? Shiori had tried really hard to. No one had mentioned the altercation since, which gave her some hope. If she let herself think about it, she’d start packing her bags.

Fine, Brave had goaded her. Reese had pretty much demanded she hit him. In that moment she’d been so angry she’d reacted, not holding back. Something in her snapped and she’d checked out for a bit after. She remembered Danica leading her away. Remembered washing her hands in the bathroom. Seeing blood in the water. One of the rings Danica leant her had wicked little spikes on it. She’d hurt him.

Part of her wanted to apologize.

Another part wondered if he deserved it.

Which was cruel. Not like her at all.

She poked at her food with her fork, completely miserable. Given half the chance she would have faced him already. Forgetting what had happened would make her life easier. Facing him—and the rest of the band—with Danica backing her up even more so.

But she wouldn’t gain their respect hiding behind Danica. She’d meant what she’d said to the other woman. Either she figured out if she could do this now or she might as well go home.

What else can I say to make them understand?

Jesse stood abruptly, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair. “She won’t be alone. I’ll bring her back to the bus. Make sure she’s okay and ask Malakai to keep an eye on her.”

Alder’s brow furrowed. “Malakai?”

Jesse inclined his head. “Yeah. Didn’t you hear? She gave Tate candy when he was messed up. Malakai is her biggest fan.”

He is? Shiori scrambled to pull on her own jacket, not sure what to make of how quickly Alder and Danica dropped the subject. Shortly after they were saying goodnight, grabbing a cab back to the hotel while she and Jesse took another to the bus.

Before Jesse could get out of the cab, Shiori put her hand on his arm. “I don’t want you to come in.”

“Why?” Jesse didn’t seem upset. Or even overly concerned.

She took a deep breath. “I appreciate everything Danica’s done. Everything she will do while we’re on tour. But she can’t fight all my battles for me. She can’t force Reese, or the band, or the fans to like me. I have to do that on my own.”

“And we’ve kinda taken over.” Jesse sighed, gesturing for the cabbie to wait a minute. “I get what you’re saying, but would it hurt to have Malakai nearby?”

“Is that going to be his new job?” Shiori shook her head, feeling more secure in her decision now that she had someone who got where she was coming from. “Danica wouldn’t be working with the band anymore if they weren’t safe to be around. Sophie wouldn’t have signed me even on a trial basis. What do I need protection from? Someone being mean to me?”

Jesse’s lips quirked at that. “Brave can be a bit of an asshole.”

“I’ve dealt with assholes before.”

“Yes, but you’ve never been stuck on a tour bus with a bunch of guys. You’ve never been dragged through a crowd by security because they’ve gone so wild you can’t move.” Jesse rubbed the back of his neck. “Shiori, I don’t know you well enough to say how you’ll adapt in the long run. But you can’t do this alone.”

He was right, and she didn’t plan to. Except when it came to the band.

She pointed at the bus. “This I can.”

He inclined his head and leaned back in his seat. “All right, slugger. You have Danica’s number?” He smiled at her nod. “Don’t be too proud to use it if you need to.”

“I won’t.” She climbed out of the cab, giving a little wave as it drove off. Then she stared at the bus, parked in the middle of the empty lot behind the venue. All the other bands were already headed to Kansas City for the show in two days. The remaining scheduled date on the tour.

More dates were being added starting tomorrow, last minute and close together, which meant things would get crazy. If she made it through the night, this bus would be her home for the next two weeks. Possibly longer.

Excitement sizzled through her veins, warming her even though the temperature had dropped considerably. The idea of being out on the road, climbing up on stage surrounded by huge crowds, experiencing more than she’d ever dreamed possible…

She’d come for her sister and Hiro, but was it selfish to want a bit of this for herself? Her whole life she’d been trapped in a world where nothing really belonged to her. She’d given more than anyone should, paid a price to have some kind of security. To be loved.

Not the kind of love she needed, but the kind that kept her fed. Kept a roof over her head.

She didn’t need that love anymore. What she needed was freedom.

Just a taste of it and she’d be ready to make whatever sacrifices she had to for Hiro’s future.

Until then, she’d come this far.

No way was she turning back now.