3 | Dead to Me

Lacrosse practice starts in two hours, yet I wasn't asleep — guest I woke up too soon. I got up already feeling restless, I woke up from time to time in the middle of the night, the whole thought of my mother being back struck my anxieties — and my anxieties were eating me away. So I decided to distract myself from my thoughts. I got ready for practice, and I decided to walk to school. It's not that far. I don't want to see my mom before she wakes up, or my dad. One thing always leads to another when talking to my mom, and my goal was to avoid that.

When I was twelve my parents sat me down to have a serious talk. I remember thinking that they're getting me the cat I've always begged them for. Honestly, I wish they said anything but what they said next.

"Honey, we're getting a divorce" A slight relief escaped my mom's voice, while my dad looked at her as if his heart just got thorn out of his chest.

just hearing those words, my world crashed down. I didn't cry though. It was only a year later I found out the real reason why they divorced. My mom was having an Affair for over four months before my dad found out. After the divorce, she left us and ran off to the sunset with her boyfriend.

She's dead to me.

It's been three years. Now she's back. Leaving me with a million-dollar question.

Why?

I took a hot shower hoping to feel less tense. It didn't work, my thoughts were scattered everywhere, I really didn't want to see her — seeing her brought back so many engraved memories, things that I haven't dealt with let alone accept. I fidgeted around the room before throwing on an outfit.

I walked out of the house, closing the front door slowly, with my backpack on my shoulders and my duffle bag that contained my practice clothes. I started walking down the sidewalk walking in the direction that would lead me to school, getting lost in my thoughts thinking about how me and my mom have to talk when I get back home. Remembering how I completely ignored her yesterday desperately avoiding that stressful conversation.

I almost jumped hearing that loud engine roar, I looked over my shoulders watching a car pull over, the whole scene before me was enough to pull me away from my thoughts.

I looked at the car before me, it was a Matte Grey jeep wrangler, the only reason I knew what kind of car that was is because it reminded me of Stiles's jeep from Teen wolf, but only grey and nicer. Looking like the latest model. the car pulled up closer as the window rolled down. There they are again those blue eyes, staring down at me.

"What are you doing walking alone in the dark?" Josh asked.

It was only five in the morning the sun hadn't risen yet.

"Practice," I said as I lifted up my duffle bag to prove my statement.

I watched his arm extend to the other side as he opened his passenger door "Hop in, I'll drop you off."

without any hesitation, I got in his car, which smelled like a tropical island. "You didn't have to do that, I could've walked."

"Yeah right, and feel bad later when I left you to die off a 5-mile walk. With the pace you were going you were facing a seven-mile walk."

I rolled my eyes, "What are you doing driving so early, I know school is not that exciting" My curiosity grew more and more.

"Morning hike," he said in a monotone. I watched his bruised knuckles turn white as he gripped on the steering wheel.

I found that hard to believe.

"Lacrosse, right?" he asked, looking almost intrigued.

"Yeah, how did you know?" I maneuvered my body in his direction the second I heard his guess.

"Lacrosse is the only sport that is practiced so early in the morning, and afternoon at our school." He explained.

"Right... and the only sport that actually brings any trophies there," I said. feeling proud.

He chuckled.

After that short conversation, the car ride got real quiet. Awkwardness crept in, I didn't know him well enough to feel comfortable around him, so I couldn't exactly talk to him like I do with my friends.

I kept my gaze on the window until we arrived at school, he simply dropped me off.

"Thank you" I mumbled as I hopped out of the car.

"No problem Z, just lend me your notes later." He replied, with a mischievous smirk plastered on his face.

I froze as he drove off. He called me Z, only my friends called me that.

My back pocket vibrated. three texts from my dad asking me where I was —I replied to him indicating I walked to school early for practice. He replied back saying "I love you, and be safe."

I dropped my duffle bag by the bleachers. joining the girls who were already stretching out in the field. It's not time for practice yet, those are the girls who get extra practice because they suck at lacrosse.

"What is our MVP doing here at extra practice?" Maddy asked, looking at me like I'm a lost puppy.

"Getting in the extra work like you guys," I answered, faking a smile.

"Now that's more like it!" Maddy shouted at the lazy group.

My little tough guy act didn't get past her as she approached me to the side "what's wrong?" she asked. damnit. It's like she's psychic. I looked at her reassuring her with an I'm fine smile.

"Just some family problems." She instantly pulled me into a hug taking all my oxygen away.

"I'm here if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on."

Her words kind of soothes me.

Extra practice was over. I barely participated. When real practice started I was off my game. Coach noticed, but didn't say anything.

I walked to my first-period class feeling off. I couldn't see any of my friends. I didn't have any classes with them, I had to wait until lunch. Which is a long awful amount of time.

First period started. I was shocked to see Josh in class this time. That wasn't the only thing that left me speechless. His face was covered in minor bruises reminding me of the day I ran into him.

"Well, that's a first!" I used his own words against him.

"Touché," he replied playfully, touching his chest as if someone had hurt him there.

I laughed. First laugh I've let out all morning.

"The notes Z? I need the ones from this class, and the ones from psych." He said with more authority in his voice.

"Right.." I started shuffling through my backpack for important notes. I found plenty and gave them to him, but I was still curious about his face, so I decided to test my luck with him today.

"Your face, what happened?" I questioned...

"I'm not interrupting anything important with my teaching am I?" Mr. Tumblr looked over at us and actually expected us to answer the question.

"No, not at all," I said before Josh could say anything to get us both in trouble.

Everyone turned to look at us. The little scene Mr. Tumblr just created. I can feel all the girls' jealousy radiating around me, due to Josh talking to me.

I quickly stop talking to Josh altogether, ignoring him whenever he made a joke over Mr. Tumblr's teaching.

He took the hint.1

The class was over while I was packing up Josh looked at me and simply asked "Is it ok if I give the notes back tomorrow?" He asked.

I looked at him, "Sure" I mumbled.

He walked away. I could sense that me not speaking to him pissed him off in a way.

I went through my other classes.

Finally, I made it to lunch hoping I could have a breakthrough with my friends with a nice rant.

I skipped the line quickly grabbing a meal to go directly to our table. I looked at our table as the smile on my face quickly turned to a frown. Nobody's there.

Then it hit me today's Tuesday they always attend their club on Tuesday. I remembered thinking we would be having classes together so choosing clubs wouldn't matter. I guess I stood corrected. I was sitting at the table alone until I heard a gruff voice speak to me...

"Hey Zoey, Is this seat taken?" He stood tall — his height hovering my slouched frame.

I shaped my lips to a thin line. "No, not today."

He sat down, placing his food tray on the table "what's up?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." I lied.

Before he spoke again, something took over me, feeling the need to share my thoughts. "You know what I crave the most right now?"

The amused look on his face didn't go unnoticed, "what?"

"McDonald's" I grinned, just the thought of eating those soft hot fries was enough to send me into an orbit.

He glanced at the exit door in the cafeteria before looking back at me, "Then let's go" he mused, but his eyes held this serious look as if he's not joking.

I furrowed my brows, "What, right now?"

"Yeah, We'll be back before six-period starts."

Before thinking twice about it I nodded my head into a yes, following him through those exit double doors to his car.