She is the reason

Flashback: -

What did he do? What had he just done?

He already knew that he had just made the worst mistake of his life, and there wasn't much he could do to change or fix that.

As he walked away from the love of his life, Damon held his breath and forced himself not to look back, because if he did, he knew he would not be able to stop himself from running back to Allen. It was excruciatingly hard enough to walk away to begin with; it went against every single fiber of his being.

When he spoke, he could barely look the omega in the eyes because it was too painful. Not that he had any right to feel hurt, because he was the one inflicting the pain on Allen. He was the one who was messing things up. Not that he had much of a choice. But he just knew that if he looked up at Allen's beautiful, big brown eyes, he would never be able to tear himself away.

So, he reigned it all in as much as he could and got it done as fast as he could because he knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself together for long.

Only when he was securely hidden behind the front door did Damon release the breath he was holding. It came out in loud, broken gasps as he struggled to get air back into his lungs. Fortunately, the door wasn't far behind him, and he managed to get to it, leaning on it with his back as he slowly slid to the ground.

A small, pitiful whimper escaped his lips as the lump that had been clogging his throat finally exploded and tears began streaming down his cheeks. Slowly at first, just a few. But the more he thought about what he had just done, the more tears came streaming down.

Then, as it completely struck him, Damon began to sob. Painful, gut-wrenching sobs for all that he had just lost What he will never have.

For Allen. 

...

Present:-

The silence in the car was thick and loaded. Damon knows he should say something; there are so many thoughts and questions running through his brain, yet neither one of them actually comes out.

Every so often, he managed to sneak a glance towards Alex. Stealing his eyes away from the road, he took a fraction of a second to look over at his son, sitting beside him on the front seat.

His son. 

God, it still hasn't sunk in, not really. He had a son, Allen, and he had a son, which the omega never told him about. Why has she never told him about him? Maybe Alex isn't really his after all?

No, he has to be. Alex would have never made all that effort—all this chaos and mess—if he wasn't his real father, right?

It is a miracle he's even managing to drive with how much his whole world is spinning right now, not only from meeting his 14-year-old son but also hearing Allen's voice again. Damon is painfully aware that he was the one that left, but there hasn't been a day since that he hasn't dreamed of hearing the beautiful voice again.

And yet, the moment he heard it, it was too excruciating to hear. It reminded him of all he had lost and of all the damage he had caused the omega. But it was also laced with his anger because Allen had hidden his son from him for 14 years.

"So, how's school going?" Damon finds himself rambling before he can stop himself; it was the first question that came to mind, and he just spat it out so he could stop sinking deeper into his spiraling thoughts.

Alex seems just as taken aback as he is. "School?" He questions, feeling just as awkward, his eyes remaining straight ahead. And in a way, Damon is glad he's not the only one fumbling.

"Yeah, are you a good student?" Damon elaborates, mentally slapping himself for the stupid question.

Alex chuckles awkwardly. "I'm okay, I guess." He mumbled, fidgeting with his rings again, "I don't know; I'm not a huge fan of school; it's kind of boring."

Damon laughs out loud at that. "Yeah, I know what you mean." He says before he can think too much about it, "I thought it was boring too; I was all about the sports."

"Yeah..." they share a momentary glance and small smiles, and it finally feels a little less awkward.

"Are you into sports?" Damon asks as he looks back out at the road.

"Yeah, umm, I like playing football at school." Alex tells him shyly.

"Oh, I used to play too." Damon tells him in excitement, glad to find some more shared interests.

"I know..." Alex mumbles, and when Damon glances over at him again with a confused frown, he adds, "I found some pictures of you, and you were wearing your uniform and gear in a couple of them. Your teenage time pictures"

"Oh, okay." Is all Damon can say, and he hates himself for sounding so dumb. He clears his throat and tries to recover quickly. "So, what position do you play?"

A small, shy smile splays on Alex's lips as he fumbles with his fingers a bit, then looks up at Damon and says, "Quarterback." He says it in a small but proud voice.

"Nice, me too." Damon says, smiling broadly and proudly. "And you like it?"

"I do." Alex nods, then sinks back into silence and seems to be in his own head, pondering over thoughts.

After a long while, in which Damon can tell Alex is taking his time to muster up the courage to say or ask something, and Damon allows him to take all the time he needs, Alex finally looks up again and speaks, "So you really didn't know?" He asks in a small, insecure voice.

Damon looks over at him again and shakes his head. "No, I didn't." He tells him, and Alex bows his head, and Damon looks back at the road when he goes on, "But I wish I did."

Alex looks up again with a small smile. "You do?" He asks. 

"Of course." Damon assures him, then, after further pondering, "Are you okay?"

It is a stupid question because nothing about this is okay; everything is so screwed up, which is exactly why he has to ask to know if his son is okay.

"I don't know." Alex answers truthfully, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm just a bit overwhelmed and confused." Then, after more thinking, "and angry."

"Yeah, me too." Damon agrees, sighing heavily.

"Would you have preferred that I had never come?" Alex suddenly asks, his voice shaking slightly, probably out of fear and nerves.

"What? No, of course not." Damon is quick to deny, "As chaotic as it all is, I'm glad you came." Then, after another beat, he adds, "I mean, we only just met, and it's still so new and scary, but I just know that I need to get to know you."

"But you... you have your own family." Alex counters in a small voice, his head bowed again.

And Damon may not know him well, but he can already tell he's not much different than Allen, and the same insecurities shine through. Because why would Damon, a man from a good alpha, want anything to do with him—he is the one who reject his mother?

Damon feels nothing of that, but he can see it clear as day in his son's whole demeanor, and he's determined to get it straight as soon as possible.

"I do." He finally agrees, but then quickly goes on, "And you're also my son, and I still want to get to know you."

"Are you sure?" Alex asks, looking up with hopeful eyes, then goes on frantically, "Because I just came to you so spontaneously, and I barely even had a chance to comprehend what I was doing, and you definitely didn't, so I understand that I just came crashing into your life, so if you need time to think about... "

"Alex." Damon says gently, cutting off his rambling, and Alex pauses and takes a deep breath, glad that Damon stopped him. He looks up at his father, who is smiling softly, before he speaks again, "I'm sure."

When Alex still doesn't look very convinced, Damon goes on, "Look, I know it was sudden, and we're both still trying to digest, but now that I know about you, I can't just ignore it." He explains, then takes a deep breath, "We've already lost so much time; I don't want to lose anymore."

"Yeah, me too." Alex agrees, then scrunches his nose as if he smelled something foul: "My mom took enough time away from us."

Just the mention of Allen has Damon stomach churning. He's spent the past 15 years wondering and thinking about her way more than he should have.

In a few weak moments, Damon even tried to look him up, but to no avail. He couldn't find anything about Allen, nor had he ever seen her again around his pack or her parents back when he was visiting them.

Then he was forced to go through with the wedding because of the shake of the pack; no pack can live without Luna. It's impossible, and the kids followed a few years later, and life just got in the way, and while he still thought of Allen all the time, he stopped searching. Something that he regrets to his core right about now.

Damon tries to reign in his own anger and bitterness over being deprived all these years from his son, as he takes a deep breath and finally responds, "Alex, I'm also upset, and believe me, I want answers too," he begins, glancing over at Alex, who is looking ahead, "but I'm sure your mom didn't mean to hurt you; she must've had a good reason."

Even as he spoke the words, Damon found them to be bitter on his tongue, because even he didn't really feel like there were many reasons, she would justify keeping him and his son away from each other for so many years. And probably many more, had Alex not found out about him.

Alex snorts, "What excuse could he have for keeping us apart for so long? And God only knows how many more years if I hadn't found that box of hers?" Alex rants, voicing Damon's own thoughts. He also wants to ask more questions about the box, which Alex had also mentioned back at his office; he only explained briefly that it was how he found out about Damon.

"Well, at least we have an opportunity to get to know each other now." Damon tells him, trying to change the topic a bit, to not have to say anything against Allen to her son.

"Yeah, if she doesn't try to keep me from you again." Alex snaps bitterly, then goes on before Damon can respond, not that he had any idea how to say, "Can I stay with you?"

Damon gasps, almost losing control of the wheel but managing to miraculously stay calm and in control of the car. "What?'' he chokes out dumbly, sneaking another glance at Alex.

Alex's head is bowed again as he keeps his gaze trained on his fidgeting fingers. "ne-never mind, for-foget it; it was a stupid idea." he stammers.

"You want to stay with me?" Damon questions softly, somewhere between surprised and confused, because he had not expected that.

Alex takes a deep breath and nods. "Yeah, I do," he confesses, then hurries to explain, "I just want a proper chance to get to know you and spend time with you, so we can try and make up for all the lost time."

"I would love that." Damon finds himself saying it before he can think much about it or stop himself. But then he catches himself and tries to be the voice of reason: "But it's not that simple; you can't just leave your mother and come stay with me."

"Oh, well... do you need to ask your wife?" Alex asks, which makes Damon double-take and frown for a minute in confusion.

"What? No, she's not really... I mean, well, I guess we have a lot to talk about later, but no, I don't have to ask her if you could stay with us... with me." Damon rambles, mentally palming himself, "But we do need to speak to your mother; I can't just take you away from her."

"Oh, you mean like she took me away from you?" Alex snaps back bitterly, leaving Damon speechless for a minute. Alex sighs. "Sorry, I'm just... I feel so bitter and angry, and I can't control it."

"I know, but you need to know that it's not that simple." Damon tries to explain, both to Alex and himself, "I mean, I don't know how much you know, but I was the one that left her."

"Well, I don't know much; she never really tells me anything." Alex complains bitterly, "And I understand that she was hurt and feeling rejected, but she should have swallowed her pride and just told you."

Damon takes a deep breath and tries to be as composed as he can, because he also wants to rant it off like Alex, but he knows he has to act like an adult and be mature about it, especially in front of him, and he definitely shouldn't badmouth Allen to their son.

"I'm sure she has an explanation." Damon manages sheepishly.

"She had so many opportunities to explain." Alex tells him, sighing in frustration, most of the fight leaving him, and he sounds more disappointed as he goes on, "All these years, I've asked her again and again, and she kept lying to me and hiding things."

"Well, I'm not saying what she did was right," Damon begins slowly and cautiously, "but I did leave her, and she must have felt like I probably wouldn't want to know."

Alex looks at him skeptically, and Damon can't blame him, even if he doesn't believe himself. "Even you don't believe that." Alex says, as if reading his mind, "For the sake of argument, she really did believe you wouldn't want to know, that you didn't deserve to know; how about me? Why lie to me?"

Damon opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out; he has no idea what to say to that. And as he glances over at Alex again, he realizes that he's not expecting anything, that there's nothing he wants to hear; all he wants is to let out his frustration and anger.

Besides, Damon is not the one he needs answers from.